Anne Hathaway (Getty Images)

Saturday Night Live, which kept airing planned episodes in the wake of Sept. 11, 2001, won't be stopped by a hurricane. The show has announced two upcoming episodes: Anne Hathaway will appear on the November 10 episode (the first after the election) with musical guest Rihanna, while Jeremy Renner and Maroon 5 will appear November 17.

Ms. Hathaway will be promoting her upcoming turn in Les Miserables, while Mr. Renner, who played Jason Bourne over the summer, does not have a new project out until the new year.

This weekend, melancholy comedian Louis C.K. and band Fun. are to appear on the show.

Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner. (Getty Images)

Tony-winner Scarlett Johansson (it still sounds kinda weird to us too!) may be returning to the stage soon with a revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, wherein she'd be playing the part made famous by Elizabeth Taylor and also inhabited by Kathleen Turner, Ashley Judd, and Anika Noni Rose. As the oversexed Maggie the Cat, Ms. Johansson would be playing the wife of Jeremy Renner, her co-star in the new Avengers. Broadway will be a slightly more expensive ticket than The Avengers at the multiplex, but we have a suspicious Ms. Johansson will be challenged a bit more!

If you trek to the theaters this weekend, we hope you’re prepared to encounter hordes of killer robots (and teenage boys). Four movies hit the multiplex today, but all anyone will really care about come Monday morning is Transformers. As we do every Friday, here’s a handy guide to the new releases.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

What’s the story: Noted oversharer Shia LaBeouf is once again tasked to helping the Autobots save the world from the evil Decepticons in Michael Bay’s latest experiment in sensory overload. Considering Revenge of the Fallen opened on Wednesday and has grossed over $60 million at the box office, the chances are good that you’ve already experienced this sequel. For those of you that haven’t, Transformers 2 promises to be bigger than the first film in every sense of the word … except with regards to über-hottie Megan Fox’s wardrobe, which appears to have been shrunk by half.

Who should see it: The giant killer robots from Terminator Salvation.

My Sister’s Keeper

What’s the story: Counterprogramming alert! While all the boys are buying tickets to see Transformers 2, Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook, John’s son) is hoping the girls will check out his weepy adaptation of Jodi Picoult’s best-selling tearjerker. Cameron Diaz stars as a mother who, via in vitro fertilization, genetically engineers one daughter for the purposes of keeping her other, leukemia-stricken daughter, alive. This causes problems when, years later, the younger sister (played by the precocious Abigail Breslin) decides she wants medical emancipation from her parents so that she isn’t forced to give up a kidney to her older sister. Eek! Don’t fret though: Things aren’t as cut and dry as they initially appear. You’d be wise to bring lots of tissues.

Who should see it: Nicholas Sparks.

Cheri

What’s the story: Old friends Stephen Frears and Christopher Hampton (the Oscar-winning Dangerous Liaisons, the forgettable Mary Reilly) get together once again to adapt another bit of classic literature: Colette’s novel of Belle Epoque romance, Cheri. The 51-year-old Michelle Pfeiffer (holy cow!) stars as courtesan who has a May-December fling with the titular hero, here played by young British actor Rupert Friend (Pride and Prejudice). With such a pedigree, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Cheri would be more suited amongst the highfalutin awards bait of the fall, but maybe Miramax is just hoping to get a jump on the season. Don’t be surprised if Ms. Pfeiffer gets some serious Best Actress consideration in what looks to be a comeback role.

Who should see it: David E. Kelley.

The Hurt Locker

What’s the story: The Hurt Locker has been knocking around for such a long time that stars Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie were nominated for Independent Spirit Awards … last year! Kathryn Bigelow’s Iraq-war-film-that-isn’t-your-typical-Iraq-war-film (i.e., no preaching) originally premiered at the Venice Film Festival in September of 2008 to the kind of apoplectic praise that one would associate with a possible Best Picture contender. The latest batch of reviews are no different, especially singling out Mr. Renner (late of ABC’s The Unusuals) as one of the summer’s biggest breakout contenders. Consider The Hurt Locker meathead action for the art house crowd.

Who should see it: James Cameron.

Take is another in a meaningless parade of time-wasting marquee cloggers that have been coming at us this summer in sections. Directed and written by Charles Oliver, this bargain-basement crime melodrama about anguish, violence and redemption among the socially marginalized is a kind of Dick and Jane primer of how not to make a movie that will appeal to anyone with an attention span of more than 30 minutes.

Telling parallel stories simultaneously, it starts with Ana (Minnie Driver), a poor housewife with a small son who suffers from learning disabilities. She can’t afford to send him to a private school, so to avoid watching him being sent to a state facility, she packs him up and drives away with their belongings in a U-haul trailer. Meanwhile, Saul (Jeremy Renner) is a lachrymose gambling addict who leaves his miserable job in a highway gas station in search of money to pay off his debts. Ana has a flat tire. Saul robs a storage company and sells the contents of the containers to the highest bidding criminals, while Saul’s father, an old man in a motorized wheel chair, is left alone to pump gas. Ana’s husband, who teaches seventh grade, disappears from the story. But the movie drones on, cutting from Saul in prison garb listening to a preacher talking about “God’s plan,” to Ana, sitting on the side of the road in the boiling heat with a flat tire, her son having vanished from the film entirely. Saul jimmys a stolen car from the wrong person, who turns out to be a psycho with road rage who beats him to a pulp. Ana stares at herself in a filthy toilet mirror, wondering what is going on here, while I stared at my Rolex, wondering the same thing. Take is only a torturous 90-something-minutes long, but it takes what feels like hours to figure out that what you’re watching is not actually happening in real time, and Ana is really on her way to visit Saul on Death Row. Say what?

That’s right, you heard me. Their paths finally cross in a food market where Saul is robbing a cashier, and the child comes out of the bathroom at the wrong time. Saul takes the money and takes the child as a hostage. I guess that’s why it’s called Take. Much violence and death follow. If there’s a point, it’s a plea for support of an unpopular prison reform movement called “restorative justice,” forbidden by most prisons, which encourages victims to come face to face with the maniacs who have destroyed their lives, providing both sides with a chance to make peace with their conscience before execution. Good or bad, it’s a cause that deserves an airing in a much better film than Take. Obscured by ugly, dark photography, a jumbled script, mumbled performances, and clueless direction that make it impossible to see or hear a lot of what’s going on even if you cared, the result is a film of monumental incompetence. Simply dreadful.

rreed@observer.com