Elmo and Jon Hamm make art. (PBS)

Though when you think about it, the implications of Mr. Hamm's famous genitalia being so close to Elmo--who until recently, was voiced by Kevin Clash--are somewhat disturbing. Best not to think about it too hard.

...That's what she said. (Dammit!)

Honey Boo Boo and Nugget. (Facebook)

– Jon Hamm's girlfriend is not a fan of Jon Hamm's penis getting all the attention. Also, apparently Jon Hamm doesn't wear underwear? Very cool.

– The beef between Jonah Hill and CNN anchor Don Lemon is hysterical. Mr. Lemon was so miffed that the famous TV star didn't know who he was that he tweeted about it, then Jonah tweeted back, and then Lemon went and complained about it being treated "like the help" on Starting Point with Soledad O'Brien. How professional.

– I bet you've always wanted to know what Dana's love interest on Homeland did before he was the VP's kid. Well, apparently a lot of rapping.

http://youtu.be/GszV6rvD4sI

– Lindsay Lohan is not going to do a planned interview with Barbara Walters because she doesn't want to talk about her car crash. Fine. It's not like there aren't a billion of other subjects to grill Lindsay Lohan on. It's called compromise, people!

– PETA is scared that Honey Boo Boo will eat her pet chicken, named Nugget. Maybe she can make it up to them by posing topless or something.

- MTV is going to hold a live fundraiser for the Jersey shore. It's about time they paid back to the community they took so, so much from.

- Jon Hamm's penis is an Obama supporter, naturally.

- Here are the two main characters of your favorite TV show of all time, telling babies to get out and vote.
http://youtu.be/QJpv_1YkFLs

-Here are photos of all the celebrities voting on Election Day. ALL of them. Thanks, Huffington Post!

British miniseries knows what you want to see.

– In her continuing efforts to upstage that total biatch Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes decided to strip down in a tanning salon lobby in New York and run around screaming "I'm a retired multi-millionaire!!" Said an eyewitness, "There was definitely something wrong with her." What do you think it was?

– Gwyneth Paltrow is totally over her Brooklyn love. Now she's on to only talking about really important stuff in GOOP ... like wrapping paper that costs $52.

– James Franco wants to fine people who don't vote. Possibly to raise money for his next performance art project.

– Jerry Seinfeld alone could probably finance the reconstruction of NYC with his Seinfeld residuals.

– You know, we had heard rumblings on IMDB about a Jon Hamm/Daniel Radcliffe Sky Arts 1 HD series, A Young Doctor's Notebook, in which they play the older and younger versions, respectively, of a Russian Ph.D. But this is the first time we've seen pictures of them in a bathtub together, which is a very Terrence Malick way to shoot your bloody show.

Jon Hamm with a mustache. (YouTube)

— Mindy Kaling was spotted pleading with John Mayer to give his expert opinion on her love life at Koi in the Trump SoHo. We can only speculate that his answer involved calling her genitals racist.

— Jon Hamm plays Aimee Mann's director in her new music video for Labrador:
http://youtu.be/XA1cX-wgMdM

— A bevy of musical greats made a show last night in memorial of Broadway composer Marvin Hamlisch. Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli, Aretha Franklin and Itzhak Perlman performed for VIPs including Mike Nichols, Nancy Pelosi, Regis Philbin, Susan Lucci, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alan Cumming, Sheldon Harnick, Mary Rodgers and Paul Shaffer.

— Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez were spotted holding hands while leaving a romantic dinner at Daniel. You know, if you care about that kind of thing.

— And in chair-related news, Clint Eastwood feels bad about making fun of the president, and calls himself a Libertarian. Also he has no respect for tables.
http://youtu.be/7mIC8Nw7LqI

• 30 Rock
• The Big Bang Theory
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Louie
• New Girl
• Modern Family

Sorry, guys: Girls skews a little young for this crowd. All of the shows on this list are essentially perma-nominees at this point, but for Louie, which is so well-regarded among the establishment that its nomination seems likely, and New Girl, which is youngish but is sort-of, kind-of an actual hit on broadcast TV (unlike possible nominees like Parks and Recreation).

Best Drama

• Breaking Bad
• Downton Abbey
• Game of Thrones
• The Good Wife
• Homeland
• Mad Men

The Good Wife sneaks in just so broadcast TV is represented somehow; the rest are the five TV shows (yes, Downton is a series now, not a miniseries) that combined critical acclaim with your co-workers asking if you were caught up yet. (Poor, not-quite-loved Boardwalk Empire.)

Best Actress, Comedy

• Laura Dern, Enlightened
• Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
• Lena Dunham, Girls
• Tina Fey, 30 Rock
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
• Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

We stand by our prediction!

Best Actor, Comedy

• Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
• Louis C.K., Louie
• Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
• Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
• Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Now that perpetual bridesmaid Steve Carell is no longer on TV, there's a spot open, and perhaps it'll go to the guy who helped keep Two and a Half Men on the air, if in attenuated form. Mr. Cryer's already won an Emmy as a supporting actor, anyhow.

Best Actress, Drama

• Claire Danes, Homeland
• Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
• Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
• Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey
• Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
• Jessica Paré, Mad Men

Lots of turnover in this category! But presumably Ms. Hargitay will remain, constant, impassive, immovable.
Best Actor, Drama

• Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
• Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
• Kelsey Grammer, Boss
• Hugh Laurie, House
• Damian Lewis, Homeland
• Jon Hamm, Mad Men

With the exception of Hugh Laurie (whose show just ended), this is a party of all the ill-behaved men of cable TV.

Next week on 'Mad Men': Roger sits in a chair. (AMC)

But we can see how Mad Men's fifth season--which is very good--is a little inaccessible to first-time viewers. We're surprised that no one has made a parody of the Mad Men promos this year, because they are essentially designed to contain no information about the upcoming episode, and make the show look very, very boring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlbHkH8HwAw&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AGEuN3Bn7g&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7E3er8D3xk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4WP1r9_ZeE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7YHAISIE0M&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_K8oHfn47E&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ_KqdFPpYo

What have we learned from these cryptic, mundane previews? (Besides Mad Men winning the Emmy for Best Drama four years in a row?) We've compiled the most interesting bits from each commercial to create an overview of this season of people working at an advertising office where apparently not a lot happens to try to figure it out:

Don: I have to tell you something.
Shot of Roger getting up from his recliner.
Shot of Don putting down a phone.
Bert Cooper: Everyone has somewhere to go today!
Joan: Do you want to close the door?
Peggy: Gosh!
Roger: Are you kidding me?
Pete: I don't know anything.

Neither do we, Pete. Neither do we.

Jon Hamm, the man (RookieMag.com)

Jon Hamm is a curious leading man. After the success of Mad Men, Mr. Hamm made a conscious effort to differentiate himself from Don Draper by appearing almost exclusively in funny roles--everything from multiple SNL appearances to Bridesmaids to 30 Rock to the alt-comedy of Comedy Bang Bang! and Between Two Ferns.

But being a funny dude is taking its toll on Mr. Hamm, as evidenced by his recent appearance on RookieMag.com-- that teen girl blog edited by Tavi Gevinson--where he just phoned (vlogged?) in the answers to relationship questions written by high school-aged girls.

Yes, he will answer your questions about farts. But he doesn't have to be happy doing so, and he is going to look really hungover while giving you kind of a dad-lecture. He doesn't say "Look at your life, look at your choices," but he looks like he's half a second away from it.

The whole effect of Mr. Hamm's "minimal effort engagement with this project has, ironically, made him seem more early season Don Draper than ever. Like when he found out Peggy was pregnant and visited her in the hospital? This reminded us of that scene, except Don Draper would never go to a hospital in a Cardinals shirt and pajama pants, because what is he? A hobo?

Make up your mind, Mr. Hamm! Do you like your new role as a "funny" guy who is relatable to his audiences, or not? And for gods sake, get yourself a shower and a shave. 16-year-old girls don't take advice from men who look like their depressed uncles.