Celebrity Castration Plots
Big Apple Idolatry
During a recent gig at Madison Square Garden, Justin Bieber was not, we repeat, was NOT, strangled to death with a paisley tie and then castrated in a plan hatched by a convicted child rapist and murderer serving time in a New Mexico prison. Once again: this did not happen.
But it almost did.
Big Apple Idolatry
– Chris Brown wants to poop and fart on lady comedian; deletes Twitter account.
– Charlie Sheen once gave Lindsay Lohan a check for $100,000 to help out with her IRS “debt,” which is one case of the blinded-by-syphilis leading the blinded-by-syphilis.
- This weekend’s big story was Lindsay Lohan’s stalker (or just a guy she was partying with at Double Seven), who allegedly followed her up to her hotel room at the W after they got into a fight about cell phone photos. She escaped him, but then came back to the room so he could physically assault her; it’s hard to pick the most batshit part of this whole ordeal. It’s a toss-up between the part where the guy was a congressional staffer who has posed for photos with Paul Ryan, and the part where someone let Lindsay Lohan run around a hotel unsupervised.
- Justin Bieber puke-sang his way through a recent concert, and then followed it up with an Anchorman tweet about how “Milk was a bad choice.”
Justin Bieber Being Punched In The Face
Sometime in 2011, a group of scientists working in a top-secret Canadian laboratory uncovered a formula to maximize the addictive qualities of a pop song. In September, the formula was leaked, by way of a song called “Call Me Maybe” and performed by a 26 year-old Canadian Idol winner named Carly Rae Jepsen.
A month before the song infected American audiences, a handful of college-age kids produced a homemade music video for “Call Me Maybe,” made from lip dub footage shot on their laptop webcams. Kind of like Lana Del Rey’s thing, if Lana Del Rey had a bunch of friends.
Complex just released the cover for their 10th Anniversary issue, which features Justin Bieber. This is odd, because the hip hop lifestyle and culture rag doesn’t necessarily cater to the Tiger Beat set. Brilliant, because they found a way to sell it on everyone, from Bieber’s most bloodthirsty, sadistic haters to the masochists among the Tiger Beat set: By bruising the face of Justin Bieber to the point of ugliness.
Occupy Wall Street
Really, there’s only one thing to say about the fact that while in Las Vegas, Tiger Blood recipient and 2011′s Person of the Year (according to the numerous end of the year listicles, on the Internet) Charlie Sheen decided to a) try to invite 17-year-old Justin Bieber to hang out, and b) do so over Twitter, where he accidentally sent a public message to the Biebs which included his phone number.
Occupy Wall Street is bigger than Bieber! Well, at least on Twitter, anyhow. According to a new study by the Pew New Media Index. Unfortunately, just because the movement beat out the Biebs on Twitter for the top spot on trending topics, that doesn’t make OWS the #1 most talked about subject on the Internet.
With the usual fanfare and absurdity, the 28th annual MTV Video Music Awards were held yesterday evening in Los Angeles. In case you missed it, Katy Perry won best video of the year for “Firework;” Lady Gaga earned the nod for best female music video for “Born this Way;” Tyler the Creator of Odd Future Read More
So much happens each day–how to keep it all straight? Time to test your memory!
Who’s going to be a (maybe not entirely convincing) street b-baller on film?
Which TV show may be coming back without its marquee attraction?
And which soon-to-be-departed show may be gifted with a Levi Read More
Justin Bieber’s forthcoming Rolling Stone cover has already merited a correction; the teen star’s stance on abortion, definitely an important thing about which to know, is not quite as absolutist as it initially appeared! The quote from the initial interview, via Popdust:
“I really don’t believe in abortion,” Bieber says. “It’s like killing Read More