Kenny G

It’s natural that August marks the end of many a summer fling—that, after all, was the premise of that timeless opening sequence in the golden oldie Grease! Of course, if you’re a celebrity living in New York, those (wuh-oh-oh) summer nights without your boo can be brutal, and you can’t always count on the T-Birds to keep you company. Just ask Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson. Or just pick up a tabloid. Making his first public appearance after girlfriend Kristen Stewart was caught cheating on him, the 26-year-old Mr. Pattinson had to scramble up the steps of the MoMA during the New York premiere of David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis on Monday night, lest he be trampled by overzealous vampiric fans.

But Mr. Pattinson isn’t the only one changing his relationship status on Facebook: after 20 years of marriage, saxophonist Kenny G. is filing for divorce from his wife, Balynda Helene Benson-Gorelick. Yes, you read that right: Kenny G.’s real name is Kenneth Gorelick. If only that was the most humiliating thing about being married to Kenny G.

It’s not all bad news, though! The perpetually single, man-izing Jennifer Aniston may have finally met her match in actor/writer Justin Theroux. The two are now officially engaged, after Mr. Theroux proposed to the Friends star on his own birthday. (It’s like a progressive Sadie Hawkins dance, but in reverse!) How’s that for an end-of-the-summer romance?

Jennifer hands me the list. It's organized by decade so I flip past the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s to get to the heading "Current." Jennifer is ominously silent as I read down the page and see the five songs listed which include Cher's "Believe" and something by Kenny G. The panic sets in. I struggle to remain calm.

"Um, so this is the NEW list?" It can't be. It can't be. "I mean, Kenny G??!!!"

Jennifer speaks in a low tone, like a mother talking to her child who lost her favorite toy. "I've been sick about this. But I have it in writing that we booked them contingent upon them learning 10-15 new songs."

I'm a bride in the headlights.

"I know," Jennifer says. "I promise we'll get this fixed..." Now she tries to distract me: "Have you thought about when you want to take pictures?" But I can't concentrate on anything besides Kenny G.

I have a painful 24 hours, but the very next day I get an email from Jennifer: The band's finally buckling down to focus on what they need to: Black Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" for starters. Victory.