Keeping Up With the Kardashians
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are forging a pop culture union so significant, we will not fully comprehend its effects for at least another decade. Yet they allow us, through the former’s reality show, periodic glimpses behind their curtain of secrecy (which is made of leather sweatpants).
Such was the case last night, when Kanye’s proposal of marriage was broadcast on the E! network. We all knew it was coming because of the intense media coverage of the actual event last October. That’s the weird thing about reality stars who amass followings of paparazzi: their plotlines suffer dearly. But the stars themselves don’t seem to mind.
Selfie study Kim Kardashian could be in possession of the just-announced iPhone 5s, or sunlight could’ve just made her black iPhone look grey. Tech!
Refinery29 spotted a photo uploaded to Ms. Kardashian’s Instagram in which the iPhone that appears looks mysteriously like the Space Gray color the new iPhone 5s will be offered in. That wouldn’t be too much of a surprise, given Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak was one of the first non-Kardashian humans to visit baby North West. But let’s not kid ourselves: it’s been awhile since Mr. Wozniak had any sort of insider pull at Apple and he’s going to be waiting in line for the iPhone 5s just like everyone else.
We’ll chalk this one up to a suspicious choice in filter.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians
The stupidest question I ever asked was at a dinner party at a rambling summerhouse in East Hampton.
We were seated at a long, white-washed barnwood table with matching Louis XV salon chairs—an expensive take on “shabby chic” that was underscored by the jacketed household staff who could be glimpsed through the kitchen door. Surrounding me Read More
Jonathan Cheban—everyone’s seventeenth favorite recurring character on “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”—was reportedly attacked during lunch at a super expensive Southampton restaurant after Instagramming a photo of his $500,000 watch.
Besides the other big Kardashian Klan news–that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West drank some NyKuil and named their child “Kaidence Donda West,” and that Mr. West’s album dropped today–the real story today is that Kourtney Kardashian finally allowed her husband, professional suspenders model Scott Disik, fulfill his destiny as a Patrick Bateman impersonator to promote his almost-brother-in-law’s record, Yeezus.
So besides the fact that the collaboration between Mr. Disick and Mr. West is a total rip-off of the brilliant Miles Fisher’s video for his cover of The Talking Heads’ “This Must Be the Place,” we can all rest easy knowing that Mr. Disick has finally found his lot in life as one of his wife’s sister’s baby daddy’s entourage.
Met Costume Gala
Writer and former Daily News gossip columnist Jo Piazza was in her gynecologist’s office in March, seated in an uncompromising position, when she decided to return to the world of covering celebrities in their most compromising positions.
Ms. Piazza, who by then was a senior editor and political reporter at the website for Al Gore’s Current Read More
Photos courtesy of Patrick McMullan
Last night’s Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Benefit will probably be–in the long run–lost to the annals of time, indistinguishable from last years, or the years before, or any year since Anna Wintour took over, actually. But for us who were there on the sidelines, waving frantically at a very pregnant Kim Kardashian and an actively dismissive Kanye West, screaming for just a moment of Lena Dunham or Kate Beckinsale time while pressed up against the barriers of the press pen like poor animals on the way to the slaughterhouse, listening to the woman next to us ask every female celebrity the same questions–”Did you eat anything today? What did you eat? How long did it take you to get into the dress?”–the irony of the night’s theme was not lost on us.
Most couples who are expecting their first child go in for nesting, but Kanye West and Kim Kardashian seem to be doing just the opposite. First, Ms. Kardashian sold her Beverly Hills home for $5 million, then Mr. West put his Hollywood Hills home on the market for $3.3 million and now, it appears, the recording artist/producer/fashion designer also wants to sell his condo at 25 West Houston Street.
Are Mr. West and Ms. Kardashian socking away cash for the baby’s college fund? Pooling their resources for the renovation of the $9 Bel Air estate that they just bought? Or is selling off all your bi-coastal luxury real estate the rich “it” couple equivalent of painting the nursery?
Right now in New York, it’s snowing outside. It’s absolutely beautiful. Everyone should just take a moment and enjoy, because after the events of the last 24 hours we are pretty sure that this is the end of days. At least, for famous people; the rest of us are probably fine.
EXHIBIT A, YOUR HONOR!:
Future Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award winner Kim Kardashian has landed herself the role of a lifetime (or at least one that’s going to be paying higher residuals than her own wedding did). She’s “starring” in Tyler Perry’s latest film, Confessions of a Marriage Counselor. Although honestly, “starring” might be too strong of a word. She’s definitely in the film–check out the trailer below–and she gets her own credit (along with Vanessa Williams’s Indian accent), but all the clip reveals about her character is that she likes to wear tight dresses and works in a marriage counseling office.
At least one of these character traits will not be a big stretch, acting-wise. (Pun semi-intended, inasmuch as we just can’t really bring our brains to process much of anything after the holidays, and especially not this.)