Kris Humphries: Nothing but Nets (Getty Images)

Beleaguered wax-man Kris Humphries has had a rough twelve months. The NBA lockouts had us fearing that he would forever be employed as Mr. Kardashian, until negotiations broke down on that front as well, leaving him booted from Team Kim shortly after their fairytale wedding. ("Fairytale" in the sense that it was entirely made up and in no way based on reality.)

His refusal to sign the divorce papers have lead to an ugly court case, with allegations of cheating, stalking, sex-tape set-ups, and a bunch of other sociopathic behavior on both sides. On occasion, he's been booed off the court before he could even foul.

But now things are looking up for Mr. Humphries. The Brooklyn Nets (previously of New Jersey) have re-signed the power forward with a two year contract for $24 million.

That's an obscene amount of money for a mediocre player: his previous contract for one year was 8 million, the average player makes $5 million a year and price caps for signing deals make Mr. Humphries only several million behind great players like Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony. (Kobe Bryant remains the exception, with his $25.24 million salary playing for the Lakers' 2011-12 season.)

Why the high cash? It's certainly not because of his amazing media presence. Already, the anthropomorphized Ken Doll is doing his best to screw up his good deal, as he announced his re-sign on Twitter with this message:

You get it? Because Jay-Z is part owner of the Nets, and is the mentor of Kanye West, the man currently having sex with his Ms. Kardashian, to whom Mr. Humphries is still legally married (at least until their bloody, bloody court case is settled)? Very "LOL," indeed!

The happy couple in better times (Getty Images)

Kris Humphries is going to remain part of the Kardashian clan as long as he can: the New Jersey Nets player is refusing to sign the divorce papers on his 72-day marriage to Kim Kardashian until she "apologizes"for what he is claiming was a staged wedding and admits that their wedding was a for-profit only affair.

Several days ago, Mr. Humphries filed paperwork demanding to see how much money his wife "made" off their wedding and in the subsequent months. The New York Post has sources saying that for the NBA star, it's not all about the dollar$: Ms. Kardashian has allegedly offered $7 million for her separated hubby to "shut up and go away."

Collectively, we wouldn't mind pooling our money and making the same deal with the entire Kardashian family.

Betsey Johnson and her lovely ladies (Patrick McMullan)

Out of all the shows we've gone to during this longer-than-a-week Fashion extravaganza, Betsey Johnson's was by far the most fun. Does that come as a shocker to anyone? The 65-year-old knows how to give her legion of fans--who run the gauntlet from punk-rock 15-year-olds to Russell Simmons--what they want, and we're not just talking about her infamous cartwheel/splits routine that she's become infamous for.

A half hour after the show was supposed to begin in Lincoln Center, interns with black headsets began to look the other way as people grabbed closer seats in the giant theater to get a better glance at Ms. Johnson's fall line. We were able to snag fourth row, along with a French photographer and a Japanese man with a camera who asked us what The New York Observer was approximately six times over the course of the 15 minute show. In between the Beatles soundtrack and the screaming ladies ("We love you Betsey!"), we managed to make out a couple of front row chatter. But the real lavishing began at the after party, held at the Stone Rose Lounge on the top of the Time Warner Center, where Ms. Johnson was joined by Kris Humphries ("How do you spell Kardashian?" The New York Observer heard one guest ask her friend,) Richie Rich, and Dani Stahl in celebrating another great season.

Kris Humphries, booed off the Nets

On a Monday night game in Washington D.C. against the Wizards, Kris Humphries, ex-husband of Kim Kardashian, was booed on the court every time he touched the ball, according to reports. He still managed to finish the game scoring 21 points for his team, including 16 rebounds.

Mr. Humphries, along with the Brooklyn Nets coach Avery Johnson, found the whole thing hilarious.

According to Mr. Humphries, he considered the jeering "motivation," although we would go as far to call it "confusing." (After all, who knew there were so many Team Kim fans going to basketball games these days?)

A source from The New York Observer who was at the game and witnessed the booing confirmed that it was "the loudest noise throughout the entire game." Our scout's analysis? "Sports fans love to mock the other team, and Kris Humphries really put himself out there as a public figure, so it makes it really easy to use him as a target to psych out the players."

According to Coach Johnson, who has never watched an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians or Kourtney and Kim Take New York:

"I'm trying to figure out, what did he do? I'm serious. Maybe because I don't follow reality TV, I don't know all the ins and outs of it but it's pretty hilarious to me. I don't know if they even know why they're booing him."

Coach Johnson was later seen in the locker room, re-watching the Kardashian wedding special for signs of any potential offensive plays.

Kardashian and Humphries.

It’s a Kard-astrophe! Only 72 days after reality entertainment star Kim Kardashian and her husband Brooklyn Nets (if that is their real name) NBA star Kris Humphries tied the knot, the duo is now filing for divorce. We really thought these two kids could make it…at least through another season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York.

Poor Kris: he’s apparently devastated over the idea that the love of his life…not to mention his ca-ching money train…is leaving the station so soon. Oh well, what’s the infamous saying? All’s fair in love and Dior.

So New York lost one Kardashian, but gained back Conan O’Brien, who performed live at the Beacon Theatre Monday night. Sounds like a fair trade to us! The fire-haired Coco told audiences that he “came 3,000 miles to do that” – where “that” referred to a visual gag involving a ghost human centipede. We can’t decide what’s more disturbing: that imagery or the fact that we missed it.

You’d think Coco would have roused all of the A-list guest-stars to appear for his NYC re-debut, but fans were (to put it nicely) mildly disappointed to find that the only name worth mentioning on last night’s roster was Mayor Bloomberg. What was he doing at the Beacon talking to Conan? Probably avoiding any rogue Occupy Wall Streeters planning to egg his house. But last night Hugh Jackman was on the lineup, and who doesn’t love the all-singing, all-dancing Wolverine Aussie?

That said, Mayor Bloomberg might not actually be the most frightening thing in the city this week: after CBS aired Morley Safer’s interview with Ruth and Andrew Madoff, we expected half of NYC to be outside the family’s door with torches. Finally, villains that both the rich and poor can loathe alike! What doesn’t divide us unites us. No one seems to believe that poor Mrs. Madoff wasn’t in on her husband’s Ponzi scheme, but we’re willing to entertain the possibility that they had one of those Kris Humphries-type marriages--where half the couple doesn’t even know when they’re about to be served with walking papers, Still, we aren’t heartless,and Mrs. Madoff’s description of her son Mark nearly produced a sympathetic tear or two. But then we imagined her drying her own tears with crisp $100 bills from the money she’s been allowed to keep. To be fair, she’s probably not alone. We imagine Kim Kardashian doing the same thing.

Kim Kardashian divorces Brooklyn

Only 72 days after Kim Kardashian ran down the isle to E!'s highest ratings yet, she and New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets husband Kris Humphries are filing for divorce. Of course, who should be able to confirm it first (besides TMZ) than Ryan Seacrest (who seriously drilled a pipeline into Ms. Kardashian's brain and thus knows everything about her life before anyone else does).

No! C'est non! How is this possible? These two had the whole world rooting for them...they were like America's Will and Kate...if no one knew who Prince William was and Kate Middleton was famous for making a sexy tape with Ray-Jay. There's really only one explanation. This is all Brooklyn's fault.

No, not Victoria Beckham's kid. We're talking about the borough, which Mrs. Kardashian-Humphries couldn't even spent two months in before freaking the eff out and taking the first flight back to Los Angeles. And who can blame her? TMZ is reporting that the two are splitting on the grounds of 'irreconcilable differences...' we'd say that the East Coast/West Coast divide is pretty irreconcilable.

Back in May after they first announced their engagement, Jason Gay of The Wall Street Journal predicted that seeing Kim around would be "the newest smug name drop" for snooty Brooklynites. But we could have told you that the voluptuous princess would have been too scared by the brownstones and fixed gear bikes to last very long out in non-Manhattan. While Kim made a valiant effort to be "seen" having a "good time" out at least one borough landmark -- the Brooklyn Bridge Park -- her presence in BK stayed pretty much under wraps. In fact, Kim didn't even move into Brooklyn: she and Kris were staying in the Gansevoort until they could settle down on a place.

Someone should have reminded Kim that The Hurricane Club is only two transfers from Carroll Gardens...even less if you go there by helicopter.

An eclectic (bordering on random) array of guests showed up for the event, including Lance Bass, Paul and Polly Shaffer, Tinsley Mortimer, Dina Manzo, LaLa Anthony, and of course sister Kourtney.