Goodbye strangers, it's been nice! (CW)

One time we tried to watch an episode of Gossip Girl. It was 2007, and Obama was gaining grass-roots support among young voters thanks to the hard work and dedication of Will.i.Am, Scarlett Johansson and two teenage newcomers, Blake Lively and Penn Badgley.

Yes, these two--dare we say--heroes had stood up together (in accordance with CW regulations) and announced in a commercial that they were voting for Barack Obama. The two co-stars, who, from the little we had seen of their program, were not especially interesting but found themselves endlessly fascinating, were given special celebrity passes because they were dating both on and off the show. And that's always fun.

But it's no longer the beginning of 2008. It's the end of 2012; the end of an era when Kristen Bell smugly narrated the lives of spoiled, jet-setting, New York prep school teens as they blossomed into spoiled, jet-setting, socialite monster nightmares. And in last night's finale, the one where the irrepressible rapscallion Chuck Bass--whose two defining character traits as we remember them were the ability to say his own name in a sexy voice and a desire to show up his dead father--finally stopped dicking around and married the dark-haired girl. Ugh, what was her name. Bonnie? Blaine?

She was the mean one, but actually they were all "the mean one": a hive of Queen Bees and their lovers, all of whom were as toxic as they were. (Except for the blond one that looked like a cardboard cutout, and had a similar acting range).

These were the kind of people of whom the nicest thing one could say was that it probably wasn't their fault they were so awful, since you only had to take a look at their manipulative, gold-digging moms and lazy, guitar-playing and/or deceased dads to see that the apple didn't fall far from the Park Avenue tree.

So last night's finale: Did we watch it? Sure. It's the end of a television era, and that needed to be celebrated. Even if that means accepting that Dan Humphrey is a woman on the Internet. He's been the one chronicling all his friends' lives with the bitchy lilt of Kristen Bell and calling himself "Lonely Boy."

The two more-awful people got married, making sure that there will be plenty of more little Basses in the sea one day. Serena and Dan may have also gotten married. Nate, who works at a newspaper, got to publish Dan's Gossip Girl memoirs, because this show took place in an age when even a spoof of The New York Observer would run a book-sized chronicle of every minutia of these kids lives.

"You'll never guess what Blaire told her maid today!" We would tease in what would have to be a 20-year column. "Tune in next week!"

That being said, what is more fun than watching a soap opera of the most self-referential kind (since Soap) about New York socialites?

Perhaps The Carrie Diaries.

Surprisingly, Snoop Dogg did not come in last place. (Zynga.com)

And in a shocking upset, Edward Norton beat out Kristen Bell, Sophia Bush, Jonah Hill and Eva Longoria in Zynga's first-ever celebrity competition of Words with Friends, a game that we had all previously assumed Alec Baldwin was the hands-down champion of. As it turned out, Mr. Baldwin didn't even enter the ring, basically throwing the fight to the Fight Club actor, who won $132,500 for his charity, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust.

Mr. Norton did give a shout-out to the WWF master in his acceptance speech:

I'm happy to have won because it will have a huge impact for the work on Maasai Wilderness, which is an effort I'm very involved with and passionate about. This was a lot easier and more fun than asking friends to write checks to support our effort, so I'm grateful to Zynga for their generosity and for turning games into real impact and positive contribution. Next year I want Alec Baldwin in the roster. I want to beat the best. Anybody who would get thrown off a flight for refusing to stop playing WWF is somebody I need to play.

Of course, no man is an island, and Mr. Norton and the other contestants were helped out by players at home, among whom a winner will be announced today. Here are the final standings:

1. First Place – $132,500

Edward Norton, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust

2. Second Place – $57,500

Sophia Bush, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust

3. Third Place – $20,000

Kristen Bell, Harlem Grown

4. Fourth Place – $20,000

Eva Longoria, The Eva Longoria Foundation

5. Fifth Place – $5,000

John Legend, The Show Me Campaign

6. Sixth Place – $5,000

Snoop Lion, The Snoop Youth Football League

7. Seventh Place – $5,000

Jonah Hill, Harlem Grown

8. Eighth Place – $5,000

Paul Pierce, Truth On Health – The Truth Fund

We kind of love that there are two people below Snoop Dogg on this list. Either he must have phoned a friend, or Jonah Hill is illiterate.

Halloween fun at Target!

Look, we love Target as much as the next person who finds that it's oddly comforting to walk down aisle after fluorescent-lit aisle, knowing that everything we need--from food to furniture for your college dorm to designer apparel--is all available in one location at a relatively low price. For instance, one time in college we went to Target and bought a frozen turkey, a giant bouncy ball and a B.B. gun, and then drove to a field for Target target practice. (We kept the turkey in the car and ate it later.)

So in terms of mega-chains, Target is tops, no question. We do have some question, however, about its new advertising techniques. Such as:

Part 1: Why a shoppable video? And why would a web video need a "trailer" with Kristen Bell and Will Smith's girlfriend from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? And who is Zachary Abel?

http://youtu.be/VWuMOKkMQSQ

Is it a web series? Can you buy stuff directly from the video by clicking on a character? Is this the future?

Part 2:

REALLY? Don't get us wrong, American Horror Story is great fun, and Jessica Lange deserved that Emmy, never mind the haters. But unless you want to be confused for the gimp from Pulp Fiction all night, this is the worst Halloween costume we've ever seen.

Under Nevins's predecessor, Robert Greenblatt (now at NBC), the Showtime model was predictable enough to get parodied on Saturday Night Live. Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell weaving stories of corporate intrigue would seem to be as far from that model as one could get -- if Showtime's other current projects (the Matt LeBlanc comeback Episodes, the Roseanne-for-the-2010s Shameless, the forthcoming Claire Danes espionage drama Homeland) weren't even farther afield. Nevins told the Daily Beast in January that he intended a broader Showtime to compete more directly with HBO, saying of his network, "It's not like programming a network where you're trying to find shows with compatible sensibility so that you can get The Simpsons into Family Guy." Meanwhile, Greenblatt, who oversaw Showtime's renaissance, is at work saving NBC, which currently airs its urbane, zany comedies in a three-hour block on Thursdays. At least someone's learned from success.

ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

Edge of Darkness

What's the story: Look everyone: It's the unofficial sequel to Taken! Released almost one year to the day of that surprise hit, Edge of Darkness is just your typical father-avenges-daughters-death-and-winds-up-in-a-conspiratorial-plot-concerning-nuclear-weapons action film. Based on a 1985 BBC miniseries, this movie has Mel Gibson returning to the screen for the first time since 2002's Signs, complete with a terrible Boston accent, to star as the vengeful pop, and he's brought along some scenery-chewing friends (Ray Winstone, Danny Huston and Dennis O'Hare). Surprisingly, the reviews have been solid (save our Rex Reed's spoiler-rific take) and if they aren't enough to get you to the theater—nor the fact that there is literally nothing else out unless you want to see Avatar again—take a look at the creative team: Casino Royale helmer Martin Campbell directs from a script co-written by The Departed's Academy Award–winning scribe, William Monahan. If nothing else, expect the action and four-letter words to flow liberally.

Who should see it: Liam Neeson.

When in Rome

What's the story: Normally, February is the month that Hollywood uses for romantic comedies, but When in Rome is the type of film that looks so horrible it could only be released in January (hello, Leap Year!). Kristen Bell stars as lovelorn New Yorker who, while on a trip to Rome, steals a bunch of coins from a magical fountain and winds up being pursued by countless men. No kidding. Josh Duhamel plays the guy she inevitably ends up with—he's the male lead after all—but comedic actors like Jon Heder, Dax Shepard and, most alarmingly, Will Arnett come along for the ride, too. We'll assume Mr. Arnett took this gig to buy son Archie a bigger swing set.

Who should see it: The Ghost of Audrey Hepburn ... so she can roll over in her grave.

Also opening this weekend: Ray Winstone shows up again in 44 Inch Chest, while Steve Buscemi and Sarah Silverman go to Sin City in Saint John of Las Vegas (don't worry: we've never heard of it either).

Now there's word about the ladies joining the group. According to The Hollywood Reporter, actresses Kristen Bell, Malin Ackerman and Kristin Davis have joined the cast playing the wives of Messrs. Bateman, Vaughn and Favreau, respectively. All three actresses have great comedic skills, but we'll take Ms. Bell over the others, despite the fact that Ms. Ackerman subjected herself to many indignities in the Farrelly Brothers remake of The Heartbreak Kid. Ms. Bell's work in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, another island paradise romance gone awry, was quietly under-rated amidst the other higher profile performances from Jason Segal, Jonah Hill and Russell Brand. As for Couples Retreat, her distaff Apatow-brand sense of humor seems to fit perfectly with Mr. Bateman's, meaning their pairing could be a movie highlight.

Sadly, there is no word yet on who will be filling the spot of Mr. Love's significant other, but we'll keep our fingers crossed for Wanda Sykes.