Olivier Zahm is French. Can you tell?

In the wake of last Saturday’s Purple Magazine party, we were left with several questions: What is it about Fashion Week mag soirées that seems to whip everyone into a frenzy? What mysterious gravity does Olivier Zahm carry that sucks the clothing off of so many stunningly beautiful women? How is Lindsay Lohan even still alive?

Our prospective evening began unfolding with an incoming text from Natalie White, former muse of photographer Peter Beard and current item of lust on Purple’s website: “Will I be seeing you at Purple Magazine tonight?” Of course, we replied, “but Natalie, how will we spot you?” Seconds ticked by, and came the response, “I’ll be the one wearing a see-through dress, darling.” With that image firmly lodged in our mind, we began to wonder what kind of party were we getting ourselves into.

We mulled the question as we hoofed it over to the Standard, a fittingly unglorified way to approach what would be a fittingly glorious event. Refinery29’s Kristian Laliberte—on full Fashion Week tilt—and his posse spotted us a block out. After a ritual passing of the flask, the group rolled over to the (suspiciously quiet) entrance.

“Sorry baby, it don’t start ’til 11,” deadpanned an Amazonian doorgirl. “You gonna have to go wait in the lobby with the rest of ’em.” Mr. Laliberte and our newly formed crew shambled into the appointed holding area with our tails between our legs—joining what more than one person referred to as “The Ellis Island” of the Purple party.

Our attempt to be fashionably late was unfashionably thwarted.

“O.K., let’s head back over there so the line won’t be too long” suggested Mr. Laliberte after a short time.
In the eight minutes we stood in the lobby, approximately 60 people had crowded the door, jostling for invisible spots on an invisible list that we were reminded would be “referred to as gospel” by the Amazonian.

(At this point, an aspiring—if misguided—partygoer was overheard remarking to his date, “I think we can sneak in. I’ve been here before.” Raised eyebrows and knowing glances were exchanged among the on-the-list set.)

The extent of the door difficulty was underscored when Patrick McMullan, nightlife photographer and fixture extraordinaire, sidled up to the wrong side of the gate. “Yes, I’m Patrick McMullan, I’m here to shoot the Purple Magazine party,” he informed her flatly.

The Amazon sized up the late-night veteran, thumbed through her clipboard and said: “Sorry, baby, you ain’t on the list, and if you ain’t on the list, you ain’t getting in!”
Whoa.

The be-guestlisted mob waiting behind the velvet ropes noticed the martyr having a hard time, and began a rallying cry: “LET HIM IN! LET HIM IN!” The solidarity of New York party people can be a beautiful thing.

Once inside, The Observer took our post on the railing and waited to see who trickled by. First up: Writer Bennett Marcus, nightlife veteran that he is, gave us a few pointers on what’s going to be what at this circus of an evening.

Peter Davis already seemed to be having a significantly better time than we, posing with the always-striking Anh Duong. We make a quick stop by the DJ booth to check in with the Misshapes, who reminded us that the evening might get a bit messy. (What was everyone so afraid of?) They neglected to mention, however, just how much of their set would be dedicated to the late, great, Whitney Houston. As a camouflage scarf-wearing Hamish Bowles strutted in, an onlooker remarked, “You almost kind of think that he’s always listening to Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ in his head.”

Spying Derek Blasberg, with his hand wrapped around Sofia Vergara, we thought of Woody Allen’s remark that he would like to be reincarnated as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.
We ran into Alexander Skarsgard, whom we urinated next to a few nights prior. “It’s good to see you again, Alex. Are you enjoying yourself this go around?” we asked, already knowing the answer.“Yes, of course!” he enthused. “Look around you! Everything, everyone is so beautiful.”

We looked around us. Everything and everyone was, indeed, beautiful. But even through the temporarily borrowed eyes of an international heartthrob, we had questions that were largely unanswerable: Who were all of these people? Where do they go between Fashion Weeks? Where were all of the promised see-through dresses?

Beyond a few standout characters, a few regulars, a few club kids and a few DJs, we noticed that even at this party, one of the most exclusive of the weekend, the froth that filled the gaps between celebrities was largely made up of people who don’t seem to exist outside of party photo websites. People who snuck in by knowing a guy who knew a guy who knew a PR girl. Extras on the backlot of downtown nightlife.

As we reached the peak of our vodka-soaked state of reflection, we grabbed Waris Ahluwalia to gather his thoughts on what we were all doing here, and why: “What do you make of all this, Waris?” we asked. “Well, you know, Olivier Zahm does what he does, and you know, this is what it is.” Hmm, elliptical.
Back into the froth.

Our photography degree was tingling, is that Juergen Teller? It was. We followed him for a bit, hoping to pry him away for a quick comment, but suddenly found ourselves in front of Russell Simmons: “You hangin’ in there, man?” Looking out below the brim of a Yankees cap, a slightly weary Russell demurred, “Yeah, yeah, you know how these things go.” We did.

Then it happened. Here we were in a fit of evening weltschmerz, and now confronted with the visage of the fast life’s most cogent cautionary tale—the Go Ask Alice of the corner banquette—Lindsay Lohan.
Fresh from what appeared to be a bit of a spat with world-renowned gentleman (cough, cough) Brandon Davis, LiLo looked surprisingly good.

Staring into the void, we thought it prudent to introduce ourselves. “Evening, Lindsay,” we said. “It seems we’ve gotten swept up into your posse!” A look of mortified disgust washed over her as she regarded our extended hand. The void was staring back into us.

We were swatted away by Ms. Lohan, as she made the most adorable “get the fuck out of my face” motion with her own little hands. We obliged, warm with the knowledge that we were back among the living.

Ms. Givens, for her part, has a powerful reason to stay in the city during the summer: she's a full-time, practicing associate attorney at the esteemed Cravath, Swain and Moore firm. Her brother, Matthew Reeve, has also been keeping busy: he's in a three-year graduate program at NYU, which he'll be leaving with dual Master's degrees in film and business, and which includes an intense summer session. "I just realized, I can't take any credit for this event in any way!" Mr. Reeve exclaimed. (A companion affectionately corrected him: "That's not true at all.")

When we asked Mr. Reeve what he'd been reading, he rattled off some very dry-sounding textbooks: The Independent Producer's Survival Guide; Basic Statistical Ideas for Managers. ("Great cure for insomnia," he offered.) Mr. Reeve is well-rounded, though; he said he'd also been reading Josh Waitzkin's The Art of Learning. "He was a former chess champion who then gave up professional chess and started tai chi," Mr. Reeve explained.

Speaking of memoirs, we also chatted with Francesco Clark, founder of the Clark's Botanicals skincare line, who's just released his own. Walking Papers, which details both the spinal-cord injury that left Mr. Clark wheelchair-bound and his painful, remarkable recovery process, arrived on American shelves June 3, and will launch in Russia, China and the United Kingdom in three weeks. The characteristically cheerful and polite Mr. Clark described his ordeal as, all things considered, a positive thing. "I'm getting better — I'm using my wrists now. I'm involved in a research study at MIT, a robotic research study," he said. "I don't know, I forget about my injury... life has to move on. And so my summer feels like your summer."

Apart from actor Hayden Christensen, the event drew mostly gorgeous media types: we spotted Louise Roe, erstwhile Olivia Palermo competition on The City and current host of The CW's makeover show Plain Jane, along with Allure editrix Linda Wells and men-about-town Peter Davis and Kristian Laliberte. But it was Paper's Mickey Boardman we couldn't help approaching; we were drawn to his jewelry. Over a lime-green polo shirt, Mr. Boardman wore an eye-catching, oversized green bib necklace.

Fenton, maybe?, we speculated internally, before Mr. Boardman beat us to the punch. "Joan Rivers for QVC!" he announced proudly. "My mom sent them to me. This color story is 'peacock.' I also have them in pink."

Ms. Hearst had been struck by gallstones, Mr. Laliberte said. (Another source confirmed this, and added that it wasn't the first time the young society belle had been thus afflicted. How painful!)

Actor Kellen Lutz, there with his date AnnaLynne McCord, bravely carried on with hosting duties. Later, some of the assembled drove to the Axe Lounge in Southampton for an after-party.

“I’m either going to to Bridgehampton or my place in the Adirondacks,” Ms. Meigher said. “We have a small family island with no phone and no TV in the Adirondacks. If I go to the Hamptons—I usually go to house parties.”

Carrying one of her designs, the Kivi bag for Samantha Thavasa, Ms. Mortimer said she will be celebrating out of the country. “I’m going to London and then I’m going to Paris to go to the couture shows. I just really wanted to go to the Dior couture show!” she said, “My sister will be there. But I’ll be back in August – back to the Hamptons!” Once she returns to the Stateside social hub, Ms. Mortimer anticipates “barbecuing, hot dogs, hamburgers—a lot of meat! I feel like whenever I’m out there I eat a lot of meat. White wine and grilling, and fun beachy Hamptons moments.”

Playboy Luigi Tadini, however, is staying put. “Playboy? I think I appreciate enjoying my life, but I don’t know if I would qualify myself as a playboy,” he said, in between bisous with leggy ladies. “If I’m considered a playboy, then Tinsley is definitely a playboy!” As for his weekend plans: “I’m going out to Southampton. It’s been like Vietnamese monsoon season in New York, so hopefully it will be nice and I’ll be able to sit poolside. … I never really do the club scene there. Like a true Brazilian, I like to sit by the pool, have a caipirinha, listen to a little bossa nova, just be with friends. I think we do enough of this,” he nodded toward the crowd, “in the city.”

Publicist Kristian Laliberte is looking forward to partying with stars at the Social Life Estate in Watermill. “I will be with Lydia Hearst and Kellan Lutz from Twilight,” he said excitedly. “We’ll have [Lilybug’s pick-up scooter service], so people can get as wasted as they want. I mean, I think that’s what America’s about, you know? Let’s celebrate America.”

The revamped store will feature clothing and accessories lines and a wider selection of fancier chocolate, Ms. Lauren told the Daily Transom. We wondered whether she thought people were more likely to turn to sweets in these troubled times, and she recalled that business during the store's original opening week—which fell during the week of September 11, 2001—was "rocking."

Her brother, film producer Andrew, a self-avowed "candy-o-holic,"  made the same observation about the store's bittersweet opening, telling us that candy is "a great pick-me-up." While his famous father apparently never produced any custom designed Halloween costumes for his brood, the younger Mr. Lauren fondly recalled a homemade C-3PO outfit. Meanwhile, his brother David's girlfriend, model Lauren Bush, told us her favorite costumes over the course of her relationship with David included the pair as Superman and Supergirl and the Dr. Suess characters Thing 1 and Thing 2. And which of the store's products did she find most appealing? "I'm overwhelmed! I think my favorite might be peanut M&Ms or Swedish fish or just dark chocolate, depending on the mood."

Ivanka Trump—a Nerds girl—told us that, while she usually puts a lot of thought into her Halloween costume, she doesn't yet have plans for this year: "I'm taking a friend's children trick-or-treating and then for later, I'm not sure." Could she recall any cringe-worthy costumes from years past? "Well, I never did the wear-a-bikini thing—never. I always opted for the princess route. I always felt awkward because there would be like, a Victorian bustle involved, something way too formal for the occasion. I never had the sort of blushing five years later, like ‘I actually left my house wearing that?'"

We also ran into Social Life magazine's Devorah Rose with publicist Kristian Laliberte. While the pair was unusually quiet about their (maybe) upcoming reality show, they were happy share their Halloween plans. Mr. Laliberte floated the idea of going as Victoria Beckham, complete with specially collagen-ed lips. Ms. Rose, meanwhile, told us she was going as "Alex, from [Stanley Kubrick's] A Clockwork Orange. It's going to be painted on my body!" But, she added, "I will have kind of a bikini on. I'm gonna do the funky eyes and I'm gonna beat people with my cane."

We attended the reopening of private hangout Doubles at the Sherry-Netherland.

At the Accompanied Literary Society Party, we examined the state of hipster-literature relations.

Publicist, socialite, and soon-to-be reality star Kristian Laliberte told us how the faltering economy was impacting the Manhattan social scene. 

We chatted with Marc Jacobs's boyfriend Lorenzo Martone at a VIPP and Helena Christensen-sponsored auction. 

The show has so far billed itself as “Like The Hills…but in Manhattan and a little older, and more mature,” and preliminary filming began this summer in the Hamptons. When asked to describe the show, Mr. Laliberte said, “It’s sort of more of a documentary, like a docudrama. There are definitely parts of it that are scripted, in some ways. You know, there are scenes that the producers ask you to put yourself in…It’s more of a cross breed.”

So, we wondered, to what extent is the show based on “reality” (insofar as this group inhabits it)? Will what people see on the show have anything to do with their actual lives, or are they just a bunch of kids playing soap opera?

“It’s both. It’s story lines that are maybe a little exaggerated or things from your life that they’ll maybe try to embellish. Or, you know, they’ll try to push you into situations that they know will cause drama…There are multiples takes, they walk into the room and say, you know, say that again.”

Of course, we couldn’t help but ask whether the recent financial crisis would affect filming. Would the stars be able to maintain the consumptive powers that landed them the gig in the first place?

“Well, it’s affecting everybody! Luckily, I don’t work in finance.”

How was the downturn impacting Mr. Laliberte’s PR business, then?

“I think, right now, we’re pretty strong. Our clients are sticking with us. And, especially in sort of the upper echelon of women’s wear and men’s wear, definitely sales have stayed strong. But, in the more ready-to-wear markets, I’ve seen sales kind of declining.”

He concluded, “I think the people at the top sort of stay at the top, and there’s an increasing disparity between the rich and the poor.”

And what kind of impact has this mess had on Mr. Laliberte’s primary occupation, the party circuit?

“I think that people are being more conservative… There’s a dichotomy: On one side, people are skimping on certain things and then, on the other side, you see these fabulous clubs again. There are extremes on both sides. From being in the PR industry, maybe deciding not to serve hors d’oeuvres. Or, instead of a big name DJ, let’s get an unknown. Instead of paying an appearance fee for an actor, maybe go with a socialite.”

Katie Lee Joel (the hostess and wife of Billy) signed copies of her cookbook as teams "Evian Blue" and "Evian Pink" battled it out on the polo field. Guests dined on Mr. Chow's chicken satay (chefs pounded and stretched dough on marble slabs as Michael Chow himself dished out fresh noodles), and goat cheese and tomato on baguettes from Bagatelle. The Daily Transom felt a bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman as we all abandoned our plates on hay bales to stomp divots during half time.

Los Angeles native Allyson Feeney, who was venturing to the Hamptons for the first time, told us that she was "distracted" by the camera crews, who were there filming for Kristian Laliberte's "realumentary" we told you about last April. The cameras followed Mr. Laliberte and his fellow reality star hopefuls—Social Life magazine editor Devorah Rose,who is also an executive producer of the show; former 8th and Ocean cast member Teddy John; and socialite Annabel Vartanian—around the party, although the only Hills-style drama they could possibly be capturing was Ms. Vartanian's see-through all-white outfit.

Meanwhile, the Daily Transom admired the accessories du jour: perfectly groomed dogs and beautiful towheaded toddlers. Where can we get our highlights to match those of children who summer in the Hamptons?  

Then we spotted Polo Ralph Lauren model and polo star Nacho Figueras. As we blushed, Mr. Figueras informed us that Evian Blue emerged victorious over Evian Pink, by a score of 7 to 6, and that his Labor Day plans include "taking the day off [and] not playing polo." Mr. Figueras was accompanied by his son Hilario, daughter Aurora, and their adorable puppy. (Seriously, did we miss the toddler and puppy memo?)

After the polo was over, the children and dogs had a swim in the pool, and Mr. Chow et al packed up their stations. Guests including Hugh Grant and reality star Brittny Gastineau traipsed down to the horse corrals for some Argentinean barbecue. We left completely stuffed, coveting a Rhodesian ridgeback, and anxiously awaiting our super important Labor Day plans: the season premiere of Gossip Girl.

When The Observer contacted the representatives of supposedly confirmed guests like Lydia Hearst and Olivia Palermo, they told us that they had not R.S.V.P.-ed to the event, nor even recalled being invited.

An employee at Mr. Laliberte's outfit, Unruly Heir, had offered a fuzzy explanation involving the event being held on a weekend, the guests not receiving reminders, etc.

Now Mr. Laliberte is seeking to clarify what happened: “I sent the board a tip sheet that was meant to be used as an example, but the board thought that I was indicating that I'd invited these guests,” he wrote in a statement CC-ed to his attorney, adding that he has been "extremely ill and going through personal issues during the planning of this event," which prevented him from attending. “We simply experienced internal miscommunication."

Mr. Laliberte said he's still onboard to publicize the organization's annual gala in November.

We heard you're working on a reality show called The 10021 that takes place in South Hampton?

Yes, it’s basically a show about four New Yorkers living a kind of fashion lifestyle and about how their professional lives intersect with their social lives. It’s a reality show, but it is being done more like a documentary-drama because it’s filmed as a snapshot of our lives.

There are four main characters: Devorah [Rose] is the editor of Social Life Magazine, Teddy John is a successful model, Annabel [Vartanian] is my best friend and a very talented actress.

Devorah is also the executive producer of the show so she has the ability to make things be advantageous for her. There’s been a lot of trepidation about that on my end. Not only does Devorah have a magazine called Social Life, but she firmly believes she is a socialite, and I don’t know if it will win her a lot of fans. I don’t think it’s a word that really means anything. Being executive producer, I’m sure that she can make some decisions that will manipulate the show so that she comes off a certain way, but it’s real life so there’s not much anyone can manipulate.

Has there been any tension in the house so far?

We’ve shot a pilot, but I’m not allowed to talk about any of that. But, I’m sure that just like with anyone else living together, that there will be some tension.

People have described it as a blend of The Hills and Gossip Girl.

Well, it shows New York in the same way that The Hills shows L.A., but it’s different in that we have full time careers—my favorite part of watching The Hills is when the girls are at Teen Vogue. As for Gossip Girl, I think that it shows a somewhat similar lifestyle as our show. We go to some of the same places and it’s a little like Sex and the City where the city is portrayed as a glamorized fifth character. The show’s producers really understand the aesthetic sensibility of the city and will play up iconic Hamptons and New York City images.

What do you think makes it different from other reality shows?

Well, for starters, the show isn’t about winning something, so it’s not a forced situation. Granted, I’m not close friends with everyone on the show, but it’s not throwing us in an atmosphere that we don’t know. It’s basically taking what we’re doing every day and documenting it. It wasn’t like a casting call or a contrived situation.

Who can we expect to make appearances on the show?

I can’t say who’ll make appearances, but I can say that everyone who will be appearing are my friends. They’ll be successful designers, people who have professional credibility that you will recognize.