HANDY GUIDES TO IMPORTANT THINGS
If you are a sentient human being, you have no doubt heard by now that tonight the New York Knicks are playing against the Miami Heat tonight, in Miami. This is basically a euphemism for “LeBron James and Jeremy Lin: The Title Fight.”
It’s exciting because LeBron James is a polarizing figure who people love to hate, or love to love because of all the people who hate him, and because Jeremy Lin is the most exciting thing to happen to the NBA since Ron Artest got beer all over him. Also, seeing as how LeBron James turned down both the New York Knicks and the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets to go to Miami, fans of Tri-State Area basketball have quite a bit invested with this. Figuratively speaking.
But for those who truly want to take something away from this evening, and the entire Jeremy Lin craze, which will reach a new level of fever pitch tonight?
There are cabanas, a pool straight out of Antony and Cleopatra and a private club at 40 Mercer Street. Perhaps we shouldn’t be shocked that two twenty-somethings have purchased a $7 million condo in the building, but of course we still are.
The two young Greek buyers, Aristi and Ilias Sarras, have dropped a stunning $7.565 Read More
ESPN will not be publishing any version of reporter Arash Markazi’s story about a night LeBron James spent at a nightclub and hotel in Las Vegas after the piece was removed from ESPN’s servers on Wednesday morning. The network claims that Mr. Markazi did not identify himself as a reporter while he was working Read More
Last night at 1:30 a.m Eastern Time, ESPN published a story by reporter Arash Markazi about a night LeBron James spent out in the nightclub Tao in Las Vegas. It was a great read! By this morning, the story had been removed.
A spokeswoman for ESPN said that the story was published by accident. “The Read More
John F. Kennedy once said, “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly”.
One can only assume that last Thursday night when he announced, “I’m going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat,” LeBron James was thinking that he didn’t want to fail miserably in New Read More
How do you write an article about what happened on Twitter during Lebron James’ “Decision” without using the word tweet as a verb. The New York Times has some ideas:
James “added a post.”
His friends “chimed in.”
Chris Bosh and Shaquille O’Neal both “wrote.”
Charlie Villanueva “professed great insight.”
Tracy McGrady “was Read More
King James Bible
Shares of Madison Square Garden Inc., the organization that owns the Knicks, have taken a hit this morning on rumors that LeBron James will most likely not be coming to New York.
The organization took a five percent hit this morning, after a six percent bump yesterday, and hand-wringing fans have been desperately Read More
At the launch party for the Setai Fifth Avenue Residences, Robert Siegel searched his suit pockets for a business card.
“I just went to Japan, where everyone has business cards with different languages on two sides. You trade cards before you even talk,” he said, turning out empty pockets. “I’m a terrible businessman.”
Mr. Siegel, Read More
In the last two weeks, the New York Knicks have secured 1,800 deposits for next year’s season tickets–the fastest pace they’ve ever sold them, despite their 22-41 record.
The reason–based on the convoluted logic that currently defines the N.B.A.–is that they’ve successfully purged enough of next year’s substantial wage-earners that they might lure the league’s Read More
Well, the Eddy Curry Redemption didn’t last long. The papers are back to burying him today, after he left the Knicks first scrimmage with a strained right calf. “As predictable as Saratoga being the Mecca of horse racing every August,” read the Post lead; the Daily News went with the blander hed: Read More