The Forgotten (Tuesdays at 10 p.m., premieres September 22)

What ABC says: “From executive producer Jerry Bruckheimer comes a crime show in which a team of dedicated amateurs work on cases involving unidentified victims. After the police have given up, this group must first solve the puzzle of the victim's identity in order to then help catch the killer. They work to give the deceased back their names, lest they become—The Forgotten.”

What we say: Read that synopsis again and now imagine this series stars Christian Slater. Yup, this show won’t make it to November.

What we’ll say six months from now: “The Forgotten? Already did. Ding!”

Hank (Wednesdays at 8 p.m., premieres September 30)

What ABC says: “Kelsey Grammer stars in this timely comedy as Hank Pryor, a titan of industry who suddenly finds himself out of work, almost out of money and around a wife and kids for whom he’s never made much time.”

What we say: ABC is premiering four comedies this fall—all on Wednesday; we’ll get to the other three shortly—but we think this has a chance to be the biggest success. In an era of high concept ideas, Hank is a throwback: comfort food comedy starring a big and familiar star. It’s just what mainstream American is looking for!

What we’ll say six months from now: “We can’t say we’re surprised that Hank is the only ABC comedy to not get canceled.”

The Middle (Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m., premieres September 30)

What ABC says: “The Hecks are a middle class family living in the middle of Indiana, just trying to keep their heads above water. Emmy-winner Patricia Heaton stars as a wife and mother of three in a comedy about raising a family and lowering your expectations.”

What we say: In an era of high concept ideas, The Middle is a throwback: comfort food comedy starring… Err. While we’re sold on Hank, consider us less excited for the prospects of The Middle, which appears to be a rehash of Malcolm in the Middle, right down to the title. No thanks. We didn’t watch that show the first time.

What we’ll say six months from now: “Patricia Heaton does make a good Fox News pundit!”

Modern Family (Wednesdays at 9 p.m., premieres September 23)

What ABC says: “Today’s American families come in all shapes and sizes. Shot from the perspective of an unseen documentary filmmaker, this comedy takes a modern look at the complications that come with being a family in 2009.”

What we say: If we’re to believe television critics, Modern Family could be the funniest new show of the fall. Yet based on the handful of clips we’ve seen, Modern Family feels like just another sitcom that strains too hard to be hip and edgy. The t problems lie in the casting: Can you imagine sitting down to watch a series starring Ed O’Neill that isn’t named Married… With Children?

What we’ll say six months from now: “For a show that was canceled after twelve episodes, Modern Family sure made a lot of year-end critic lists.”

Cougar Town (Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m., premieres September 23)

What ABC says: “Courteney Cox stars as a recently divorced single mother exploring the honest truths about dating and aging in our beauty and youth obsessed culture.”

What we say: Nope, it’s not a cheesy reality show. The most unfortunately-titled new show of the fall comes from Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence and marks Courteney Cox’s return to network television. This should be a cause for celebration, but Cougar Town looks exhausted before it even premieres. In the race to cancelation, expect it to finish a close second to Accidentally On Purpose in the over-40 division.

What we’ll say six months from now: “Courteney Cox was bad on Cougar Town, but I’m loving her on MILF Island!”

Eastwick (Wednesdays at 10 p.m., premieres September 23)

What ABC says: “Three very different women (Rebecca Romijn, Lindsay Price and Jamie Ray Newman) find themselves drawn together by a mysterious man who unleashes unique powers in each of them, and this small New England town will never be the same. The series is based on the popular movie The Witches of Eastwick and on the novel of the same title by John Updike.”

What we say: When it comes to campy primetime soaps, sometimes ABC hits (Desperate Housewives) and sometimes they don’t (Dirty Sexy Money). Eastwick looks like a blend of the two, but we’re not exactly sure where the audience for this series will come from. Don’t get too attached.

What we’ll say six months from now: “It’s nice to see Lindsay Price getting an arc on Desperate Housewives.”

Flash Forward (Thursdays at 8 p.m., premieres September 24)

What ABC says: “When a mysterious event causes the entire world to black out, humanity is given a glimpse into its near future, and every man, woman and child is forced to come to grips with whether their destinies can be avoided or fulfilled.”

What we say: The terrible timeslot aside—what better lead-in for Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice than a sci-fi show!—Flash Forward is among the more anticipated entries of the fall. Whether or not it can live up to all the hype is almost irrelevant; with a sprawling cast that includes former Lost stars Dominic Monaghan (Charlie!) and Sonya Walger (Penny!)—not to mention the trippy/cool premise—we already know we’ll be giving it a shot.

What we’ll say six months from now: “We have to say: Flash Forward? Not bad.”

“I cannot wait to see Michelle Obama!” said the fit morning-talk-show host Kelly Ripa, adding that she was wearing fake eyelashes for the occasion. “I love her whole physicality—she’s so tall and statuesque and good-looking!”

Ms. Ripa was wearing a strapless navy Alberta Ferretti gown with a taut bodice. “I chose it because—I know this will sound silly—but I thought it made me look busty!” she said. Asked whether her bare arms were a sartorial tribute to the first lady, Ms. Ripa giggled. “Let me tell you about the arms,” she said. “It’s springtime, but it’s very cold tonight and it’s very hard finding anything with a sleeve. Trust me!”

The actress Lindsay Price arrived in a mermaid-style dress designed by Carolina Herrera, an honorary co-chair of the evening along with Ms. Obama, Caroline Kennedy, socialite Blaine Trump and actress Renée Zellweger.

“I’m over the moon!” Ms. Price said about the sheer possibility of being near the first lady. “I think I’ll be too shy to go out of my way to meet her, but I’m happy to just be in her company.”

Behind her, be-furred Vogue editor Anna Wintour, arms crossed and sunglasses in place, was being escorted inside. Vanity Fair’s Amy Fine Collins was close behind. “I’m very excited. Not only do we have ballet tonight, but we have politics, too,” said Ms. Collins, whose upper arms were also exposed.

Calvin Klein designer Francisco Costa arrived with model Dree Hemingway, granddaughter of Ernest, on one arm and socialite Amanda Brooks on the other, each outfitted in one of his minimalist dresses. Is he hoping to woo Ms. Obama?

“Why do you think I’m here? I bought a tuxedo for this!” Mr. Costa said. “She’s proven she has a great sensibility. She’s figuring her own way out and doing an amazing job.”

Actress Mariska Hargitay proclaimed herself above all this fashion flim-flam. “I’m not obsessed with what she wears, I’m obsessed with Michelle Obama,” she said firmly before ducking inside. 

Meanwhile, Lynda Carter, the original Wonder Woman, recalled the year she attended the ballet in the company of another first lady: Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

“She was so chic,” Ms. Carter said. “I am excited to meet Michelle Obama. She’s just killer. And tall!”

As guests took their seats, Senator Chuck Schumer welcomed Caroline Kennedy to the stage. Ms. Kennedy in turn welcomed the much-awaited first lady, who (having snuck in through an underground entrance) appeared from behind the gold curtain in a sparkly black Azzedine Alaïa cocktail dress. A standing ovation ensued. (Real estate developer Janna Bullock even put her BlackBerry away for a moment to clap.)

After a few gracious words about the importance of “learning through the arts,” Ms. Obama headed to a private box containing Jill Biden, Ms. Kennedy and the White House social secretary, Desirée Rogers.

During the intermission, the VIPs thronged a roped-off reception area. Ripa chatted with Caryn Zucker, wife of NBC president Jeff Zucker; Ms. Wintour greeted billionaire David Koch; and Ms. Rogers huddled with anchors Al Roker and Deborah Roberts.

“There’s just something kind of special about this night to begin with, and then you add Michelle Obama on top of that and …” Mr. Roker gushed.

“You’ll really stay awake,” Ms. Roberts said.

“Yeah, normally I look at this as a good shot at napping,” admitted Mr. Roker. “But I’m thinking this is actually something I should probably stay awake for.”

Wearing a formal belted black dress, Ms. Rogers told the Daily Transom that she and Ms. Obama were enjoying the show.

“It is a great night for America, really,” she said. “To see this lovely ballet, to see these children from the Jackie Kennedy Onassis school perform for the first time, it just brings everything full circle and we’re just delighted to be here.”

Alas, there was no sign of the first lady at the glitzy intermission. And as Mr. Roker pointed out, it would be fairly difficult to clink champagne flutes with her anyway.

“There’s this little thing called the Secret Service that I think will keep everyone from flocking to her,” he said.

"It's like a Halloween dream sequence thing," one of them added. Indeed, the sidewalk was mostly occupied by a line of costumed extras (masqueraders and witches, mostly). Lipstick Jungle star Brooke Shields was reportedly not around, but we were told that she is expected on set at Franklin and Varick streets tomorrow (just saying!).

Lindsay Price, bouncy fashion designer Victoria Ford on Lipstick Jungle, also picked up a copy. “Something feels very wrong about this,” she mused of the event, “but it’s so much fun.”

Ms. Flannery’s colleague Jenna Fischer, a.k.a. frustrated receptionist Pam, was experiencing similar moral tremors. “It totally feels like you’re shoplifting!” she said. “But now I’m grateful because I hate to shop.”

“The first time you come here, you’re like, ‘Oh, no, no, no,’” said another Office-mate, Oscar Nunez (Oscar Martinez), “but then you just become this hoarder that asks for five of everything; it’s weird to see yourself change like that.”

Socialite and All My Children actress Leven Rambin felt entirely justified picking up a few freebies, though: She’s turning 18 on Saturday (watch out, fellas!). “This always feels like getting gifts for my birthday,” she said. “The first time I came to one of these, I called my mom, who had no concept of what this was, and she was like, ‘Did you steal?’”

Former Celebrity Apprentice star Stephen Baldwin, who’d scored some bottles of expensive skin cream, had no such qualms. “I’m trying to get two of everything,” he said.

But…

You don’t have to be miserable. That’s the good news. If you keep up with your friends and maintain a wardrobe of puff-sleeved frocks and Fendi suits, you’ll be able to stave off the worst of grown-up life in New York City. You won’t be alone, and you’ll look great.

At least that’s what Lipstick Jungle, NBC’s new hourlong dramedy based on Candace Bushnell’s best-selling novel, premiering Thursday at 10 p.m., seems to be telling us. Despite the froofy name and the glamorama of the three stars (Brooke Shields, Kim Raver and Lindsay Price), Lipstick Jungle is setting out to deal with some of the dirt of post-Sex and the City life. There’s love and romance, sure. And a lot of drinking. (“Let’s get a bottle!” is practically a refrain.)

But this is really a show about work: at home, at the office, in your head. If you ever wondered what Miranda’s life was really like with Steve and the baby (who believed that Brooklyn dream?) watch Ms. Shields play Wendy Healy, a powerful movie executive with a stay-at-home husband and two kids.

Ms. Bushnell’s Sex and the City was trumpeted as a celebration of being single in the best city in the world. The show provided a weird kind of comfort for a new kind of woman—ambitious, able, alone. In the early years, the show empowered women to swill their cosmos with pride and consider any guy standing within the same four walls as fair game for at least a night. But near the end of its explosive six-year run, Sex and the City was less and less about the joys of singlehood and more and more about the anxieties of singlehood. Even Samantha was in a committed relationship by the end, if not married. The lesson, as taught by Carrie herself in her wretched relationship with Aleksandr (Mikhail Baryshnikov), seemed to be that once you hit a certain age—37? 40?—you’d better go with what you’ve got. If it’s a good-looking asshole who condescends to you and is also way too old, so be it. He wants you to move to France? Go! It might be your last chance at love.

Lipstick Jungle, however, looks at what happens when you’ve got that love in place and take it a bit for granted, at least in the cases of two characters. Both Ms. Shields’ Wendy and Ms. Raver’s Nico Reilly are married, though Nico doesn’t have kids. Yet. (And does she want them? Or is it just that not wanting them makes her feel like something is wrong with her?) In the pilot, she’s approaching her umpteenth wedding anniversary to her professor husband, who thinks her job (she’s editor in chief of glossy Bonfire magazine) is a joke and who also adds insult to that injury by pretty much ignoring her long, delicately fake-baked legs. In a particularly sad scene, Nico is perched on the edge of her bathtub, chatting with her husband, when she pulls up the hem of her pencil skirt to reveal a phone number, in black marker, written on the inside of her thigh. Another man practically branded her, and her husband doesn’t notice. Needless to say, the number comes in handy. Though in very un-Sex fashion, Nico doesn’t blab. The elation and shame that take turns on Nico’s face will strike viewers as more real than any of those screwball high-ecstasy signature moments of Samantha Jones.

Wendy Healy has a different problem. Her husband, Shane (played by British actor Paul Blackthorne), is jokingly referred to as a “love machine,” but he’s resentful of his powerful wife and envies her being out in the world while he’s at home dragging the kids to and from school, cooking, etc. She, in turn, is resentful that he’s resentful. They’re both right, and they’re both so busy that their problems are going to have to be worked out in the wee hours of the night, after the kids are in bed and the BlackBerry finally stops buzzing.

In the second episode, Wendy explains that her marriage is the one thing she thought she didn’t have to worry about. Just as Sex and the City sounded an alarm for singles, Lipstick Jungle seems to be issuing a warning to the women who think they’ve got it all nailed down: Now you have to worry about everything. Getting the man doesn’t make life perfect. If you’re ambitious in your job, you’d better be ambitious in your marriage too.

Lindsay Price’s Victory Ford, a high-profile designer who is currently out of vogue, both literally and figuratively, is sort of like a pretty accessory to the other two. She’s dating billionaire Joe Bennett, played by Andrew McCarthy in yet another prime-time 80’s renaissance. She’s a charmer; Ms. Price is good at goofy, and her face, which lacks the harsh angles of her two co-stars, is refreshingly girlish. Unfortunately, Mr. McCarthy is a total dud and unworthy of this match. Call Matthew Perry! Jeez, I’d even take David Schwimmer.

All this is to say: Look past the packaging. Lipstick Jungle is a hell of a lot smarter than you might expect it to be. Lots of time is spent in the office, with the characters fighting with their bosses, explaining the intricacies of their work. At one point, Wendy, taking a play from girly dating guide The Rules, feigns indifference to a big star and winds up securing him for a film project that had been in peril; she gets a standing ovation from her office. It’s a scene straight out of Entourage, if that show ever had a woman character that wasn’t either a raving bitch or an oversexed doll. Nico, who is at war with a co-worker constantly trying to steal her thunder, gets mad and gets even; she blithely shakes salt all over his lunch when he isn’t looking, and seems in line for a promotion as a result. It’s not hysterical; it’s a smart little dig. These aren’t women acting like men to get ahead; they’re women acting like women, and getting rewarded for it.

But the greatest triumph of Lipstick Jungle—and something that its pseudo-rival, Cashmere Mafia, has largely failed to do—is to have three female leads that you care about almost instantly. Maybe it’s because we’ve grown up with Brooke Shields -- from The Blue Lagoon to her viral-comedy “Playground Tales” on Funnyordie.com—but she shows up and it’s like we’ve known her forever. On the show, it certainly seems like she’s known Ms. Raver and Ms. Price forever. If these ladies are lacking chemistry with their men, they aren’t with each other. And they certainly aren’t with us.