My Plea to Paris Hilton: Lose the Exotic Beastie!
Dear Paris,
Please read this letter before it’s too late. Please read it while you are still able. Please read it while your eyeballs are still ungouged. Please read it before your spray-tanned flesh is gnawed and torn from your bones.
Run to the bathroom, bolt the door—do it now!—call the Los Angeles Zoo, and Read More
