A veteran press agent assesses the week in ballyhoo.

FAKE FEUD:  Desperate for attention after ratings for last year’s duo of big butt (JLo) and big lips (Steven Tyler) began dropping faster than Justin Bieber’s voice, American Idol took a page from the WWE playbook and decided  to stage what appeared to be a catfight between new judges Mariah Carey and Nicky Minaj. TMZ just happened to be on the scene when pink fright-wigged Ms. Minaj raised a loud ruckus, shouting, “If I had a gun, I would shoot the bitch.” Ms. Carey whimpered on The View the next day that she was hiring “extra security”—hopefully smarter than the protection she had in Don’t Mess With The Zohan. The most rattled anybody gets in the TMZ video is Keith Urban holding up his hands for a few seconds (“It wasn’t me, boss!”), and rolling his chair back slightly. The media are always hungry for a nice juicy cut of beef, and the battle made the front page of the Daily News, along with numerous other venues. We may not be able to recall the champion of last season’s Idol—the finale was down 32 percent in viewership—but the show’s PR team deserves a round of applause.
Flackery Index: 5.

I’M OUTTA HERE: You can blame two of the Baldwin Bros for inspiring JetBlue’s new “Election Protection” promotion. The airline is giving away 1,006 round-trip tickets to any one of their 21 international destinations to registered voters on their site if the presidential candidate of their choice is not elected on November 6. Who can forget Alec in 2004, declaring that he would bolt for Canada if George W. Bush were re-elected? We’ve seen him a few times on 30 Rock since then. Not to be outdone in pining for foreign citizenship, Alec’s brother Stephen, star of Bio-Dome, threatened to ditch the states if Barack Obama were elected in 2008. For all we know he followed through on the threat; the guy has scarcely been heard of since. So what about JetBlue? Jumping on the Presidential campaign extremist bandwagon may have paid off handsomely in press coverage, but we’d trade all those round-trip tickets for three one-way tickets for the Kardashian sisters.
Flackery Index: 2

JAMES BOND TAKES A LEAK: How do you tell if a song has been really “leaked” by pirates on the Internet or not? Go right to the PR department of the label—if they are as angry as a beehive, then odds are it was pirate booty. So it was interesting when Adele’s theme song for the new James Bond movie “leaked” last week, that the Columbia Records PR department went dead silent about the incident—and more interesting still when the song’s producer and co-writer Paul Epworth practically endorsed the thievery on Twitter: “I hear a short excerpt of "Skyfall" leaked … I can't wait for everyone to hear the whole thing because Adele's performance is jaw dropping.” Remember, conspiracy theorists, nothing’s an accident!
Flackery Index: 2.

SCHICK AND THE ’STACHE: Do the math on this one—in one of the few reasons to show up at Citi Field last month, legendary Mets first baseman Keith Hernandez got his famous mustache shaved off by a barber outside the stadium before a game. Schick jumped in to donate $10,000 to the Jacquelyn Hernandez Adult Day Health Center in honor of his mother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s. So when the barber whipped out his blade in front of reporters, TV cameras, bloggers, and fans, the organizers made sure Keith had a nice big Schick Turbo logo sewn on his bib right where everyone could see it. With all that massive coverage, Schick got at least $500 worth of advertising time per whisker, a veritable bargain for a $10,000 donation!
Flackery Index: 3.

Drew Kerr, a longtime practitioner of the dark arts of public relations, is the founder and president of Four Corners Communications. You can follow him on Twitter at @drewkerr.

Chris Brown and Rihanna: Back on track?

- Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj have caused producers to suspend American Idol auditions because the two new judges just can't get along. (Ms. Minaj said she'd knock the Glitter star "out.") Keith Urban is apparently staying out of this one.

- In addition to guest star Donald Glover, Girls creator Lena Dunham told Reuters that the second season of her HBO show will feature more women of color. "All I want to do is make women feel excited and included by the show," she said.

Stephen Colbert hangs with New York Cardinal Timothy Nolan (PatrickMcMullan)

- The Amazing Spider-Man's Andrew Garfield and girlfriend Emma Stone managed to turn an invasion on their privacy into a mitzvah when they used a weekend paparazzo swarm to show off handmade cardboard signs for the Worldwide Orphans Foundation and Gilda’s Club of New York City. Hopefully they weren't arrested as OWS protestors.

- Suri Cruise finished her very first week at Avenues, the new private school in NYC. Though "private" is a relative term when there are people waiting in the bushes to take photos of you during snack time.

- Nicki Minaj joined Keith Urban as an American Idol judge, spending her first days on the job fighting with Mariah Carey and beginning New York auditions. That's got to be worth $12 million, right?

- Stephen Colbert joined New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan onstage at Fordham University on Friday, telling the Jesuit school students that despite the flaws in the Roman Catholic hierarchy, he loved his Church, "warts and all." No, he wasn't in character. Stop being so cynical.

- Seth MacFarlane kicked off a "meh" premiere of Saturday Night Live, but maybe that's because his face just looks so damn punchable. The night's best sketch didn't involve the guest star at all, with an Obama-sponsored political ad.

Simpler times.

There will not be a single judge returning to American Idol year-over-year; Randy Jackson has been practically axed from the cast, reports TMZ, with his role reduced to that of "mentor." Mr. Jackson has been with the show since its first season in the summer of 2002; more recent additions Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez both decided to leave the show of their own accord this year.

Only Mariah Carey has been announced as a judge for the series, which has traditionally held auditions with a full complement of judges during the summer months. TMZ reports that the series wants four judges, and names bandied about have included Nick Jonas, Enrique Iglesias, Keith Urban, Katy Perry (who has said she turned the series down), and rising rap star Nicki Minaj, who TMZ says is very close to a deal. With the current reality-TV judge arms race among divas (Christina Aguilera on The Voice, Britney Spears on The X-Factor), the onus is on the heavyweight in the category to pick someone with a bit more star power than music producer--and repetitive and unconvincing public speaker--Mr. Jackson.

Simmons and Williams

“My first young experience with the arts was putting on my mother’s Afro wig and singing Michael Jackson songs in the bathroom mirror,” the actor Michael K. Williams reported to The Observer on a drizzly Saturday evening in East Hampton.

We were at Russell Simmons’s house for the 13th annual Art for Life Foundation benefit, which this year was to honor a slate of luminaries, including Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, Bancorp Inc.’s Betsy Z. Cohen, Tamia and Grant Hill and Sun Capital Partner Inc.’s Marc J. Leder.

Just moments before, Mr. Williams had been posing for a few clicking cameras, a cigar tucked between his lips as he tugged at leather suspenders overlaying a blue-and-white checked shirt. We had no problem visualizing the mental image of a young Mr. Williams belting “Beat It.” Though Mr. Williams is perhaps best known for his role in HBO’s The Wire, he divulged that his creative career actually began with dance.

“In school, [art] stimulated me. It made me want to stay in school; it made me want to learn. It stimulated my mind in ways that I can’t ever really explain,” Mr. Williams remembered, his previously lighthearted tone on hiatus. “But as an adult, as a human being, the arts saved my life.”

But even with the former dancer’s current television chops and star credentials, the Brooklyn native admitted the evening’s trek to East Hampton was only his second. We took another glance at his dapper appearance before concluding that his Ralph Lauren getup certainly didn’t betray him as a Hampton newcomer.

We shifted attention toward the night’s cohost, artist (and older brother of Russell) Danny Simmons.

Though on painkillers after recently throwing out his back, Mr. Simmons seemed in rare form and eager for the fête.

“It’s going to be our biggest year ever, and we got blue people standing around on the lawn, we got pink people, orange and blue people,” Mr. Simmons told us emphatically, while motioning toward the performance artists outfitted in brightly colored jumpsuits on the lawn. (The chromatic theme for the evening was “the summer’s hottest hues: rush orange, aqua blue, chartreuse, and fuchsia.”)

Mr. Simmons announced that the foundation—which raises money for arts education and gallery programs to benefit inner-city youth—was entering the night having raised more than $1.5 million this year, not including the proceeds to be garnered from the evening’s auctions “A lot of money for me this year would be anything over $2.1 million,” he said. “That’s the most we’ve ever raised.”

We raised our gaze toward the tent (all while eluding the first drops of rain) to speak with designer B Michael, outfitted in all-white garb from his men’s wear couture collection.

“I love summer because as a New Yorker, I wear black every day and summer is my excuse to wear white and do color,” Mr. Michael told us, referring to his monochrome duds. His usual East Hampton attire is a pair of white raffia shorts combined with a linen shirt and “shoes like this,” he said pointing to his white, beach-print shoes (a brave choice for a red carpet of damp grass).

Jonathan Cheban must have read our thoughts. “What am I wearing?” he inquired preemptively. “Something that’s going to get destroyed tonight, for sure.”

Aside from his Out East look—which had him donning an open-necked tuxedo shirt—Mr. Cheban also spoke of his creative focus. “I feel like art is always related to people, and it’s helped people get to different levels and take them out of wherever they are,” he waxed. “It’s something that people with talent can kind of use.”

After Mr. Cheban retreated to a dry space, we turned to Rocsi from BET’s 106 & Park and solicited her opinion about the night’s honoree, Ms. Carey, joining American Idol as a judge.

“I think it’s the most brilliant thing,” she enthused. “I think so many other shows may be a little envious and jealous that they got Mariah. She is this generation’s Whitney in some people’s eyes.” (We left aside the more morbid implications of the comparison.)

MC Lyte later echoed Rocsi’s sentiments. “Five octaves?” she queried rhetorically of Ms. Carey’s vocal range. “That doesn’t happen today.”

The red carpet culminated with the appearance of Salt-N-Pepa, Cheryl James and Sandra Denton, respectively, who simultaneously cooed praises for the evening’s fundraising.

“The arts obviously are very important for young people to express themselves,” Ms. James said. “It’s the way we made our living, and, you know, I think it’s very important for kids to be able to express who they are through music. The creativity keeps them happy, keeps them going.”

By this point, heavy clouds began to release a steady drizzle, prompting red-carpet invitees to bid a final hello before seeking dry ground and comforting libations. We nabbed ourselves a French 75 (the drink du nuit, courtesy of Bombay Sapphire) before joining them.

Upon entering the tent, we were immediately greeted with work from a variety of artists. As we perused the exhibit, we noted the ballooned, asymmetrical fixtures ornamenting the room’s ceiling.

Large lamps served as centerpieces for the tables—some mimicked animal shapes while others stood bedecked with silverware painted to blend with the monochrome palette of each lamp. All boasted intermittent, blinking lights. The entire scene possessed enough whimsy that we wondered whether a child had blueprinted the entire experience—save for the ever-flowing wine bottles and performances by Anita Baker, Salt-N-Pepa and Diggy Simmons.

We kept these musings to ourselves as we retreated from the East Hampton abode and back to the water-logged city.
sgrothjan@observer.com

Until last night, Ms. Spencer's Wikipedia entry noted she was best known for her recurring role on Ugly Betty. Here she is talking about how she'll seduce her crush and imitating Mariah Carey:

Who is most the worst?

While it's been pretty big news today that Ashton Kutcher tweeted #noclass to  Penn State's firing of football coach Joe Paterno (for his part in the scandal involving assistant coach Jerry Sandusky molesting young boys), what's less known is that Nick Cannon somehow managed to top that in levels of grossness this week.

Mr. Cannon, who runs part of Nickelodeon because he's married to Mariah Carey, played a hilarious prank on America when he pretended that he had tied his 92.3 radio co-host's dog to a bunch of balloons and set the little guy floating above the Hudson River.
From the 92.3 website:

How Many Balloons Could Lift Sarah Lee’s Dog? About 50. Now Can You Help Us Find Her?

During the Halloween festivities, Nick and Sarah Lee had a bet. The bet was over who could carve the best pumpkin. The wager was if Nick won, he got Sarah’s little yippy dog, Charlie Roo. If Sarah won she would get to watch Dem Babies.
charlieroo How Many Balloons Could Lift Sarah Lees Dog? About 50. Now Can You Help Us Find Her?

Charlie Roo

Well Nick won control of Sarah’s pup. So what’s he supposed to do now?

Nick has always wanted to know how many balloons it would take to lift lil Charlie off the ground, so he decided to get it done on the show today.

This was accompanied by a video of some citizen journalist who just happened to catch a video of the dog floating away:

Of course it's a joke and never happened, but it's a stupid, mean joke. It's akin to pretending you kicked a dog. "Haha! Fooled you! I only pretended to kick a dog!"

We hardly ever say this, but can someone call PETA and have them yell about this for awhile? And then can the Internet ban Ashton Kutcher for not understanding how the Internet works (again)?

Nick Cannon (Patrick McMullan)

One day in 2009, Nick Cannon, the rapper and former child performer best known for portraying the likes of “Latanya” the diva-ish convenience store clerk on early-2000s Nickelodeon shows All That and The Nick Cannon Show, as well as for having married Mariah Carey once the acting and music work dried up, arrived at the Viacom offices in Times Square with plan to recapture the adolescent demo that had been his audience. “I walked into the office with a bunch of stacks of paper, and a portfolio, and said, ‘I think I can take the network to another level,’” he recalled, “and, as crazy as it sounds, they should put the network in my hands.’”

Mr. Cannon was soon hired as chairman of what would become TeenNick (a Nickelodeon spin-off that began life as The N, a nighttime programming block on now-defunct network Noggin).

“I made ’em make that decision,” he said of his hiring. “And they went with it. They were impressed with how prepared I was”—he trailed off for a moment—“and my vision.”

Mr. Cannon was sitting in his 40th-floor corner office, wearing an orange suit that matched the Nickelodeon logo—albeit in a somewhat dustier shade—pink striped socks and loafers. The room, which was cluttered with unopened gift baskets as well as an Everlast boxing dummy, doubles as a set for his TeenNick promo and teaser shoots: “It’s kind of good branding,” he said, “to pull the velvet rope, to be like, ‘Yo, come in, and be a part of our network.’” (An anteroom next door was cluttered with T-shirts reading “BITCH I’M FAMOUS,” back issues of The Hollywood Reporter, and boxes of FRS Healthy Energy, an energy drink Mr. Cannon promotes.)

The network is now home to the teen show Degrassi (a spinoff of the long-running Canadian series), H2O, about a trio of Aussie mermaids, and popular reruns of 1990s Nickelodeon programming including Mr. Cannon’s own series. “That’s the beauty of what the Nickelodeon brand has always represented,” he said. “Even when I was 17 years old I was a staff writer at a television show for Nickelodeon. From the youngest staff writer in television to the youngest chairman, it makes sense. Kind of.”

Keith Dawkins, senior vice president and general manager of TeenNick and general manager of Nicktoons, meets with Mr. Cannon twice a week. “I look to leverage him for the things he’s excited about, his insight and knowledge and access to our audience—creative ideas he’s passionate about,” Mr. Dawkins said. “He’s a thought partner in that way.”

Mr. Cannon also has a number of other gigs. Since 2009, he’s been the host of NBC’s American Idol–type talent competition America’s Got Talent, and he wakes before 6 a.m. each morning to host a four-hour drive-time radio show on 92.3 NOW, Rollin’ With Nick Cannon. (That is, when he’s in New York; Mr. Cannon is often on the West Coast for America’s Got Talent, in which case he broadcasts through the night.) Each week, he tapes a nationally syndicated radio show called Cannon’s Countdown. He has a recurring role as a talk-show host on the sitcom Up All Night, which has been picked up by NBC for a fall premiere, and he manages several bands (including School Gyrls, an all-female foursome that had their own TeenNick TV movie co-written and directed by Mr. Cannon). He is also a new father, with 4-month-old twins Moroccan and Monroe, a boy and girl, respectively, with wife Mariah Carey, to whom Mr. Cannon reportedly renewed his vows in the maternity ward under the auspices of the Rev. Al Sharpton.

“He doesn’t sleep,” said Sharon Osbourne, a judge on America’s Got Talent. “You see him taking 20-minute naps between takes.” She added that Mr. Cannon has also been eager to restart his music career. “We talk about it a lot. Nick wants to do everything.”

Like Mr. Cannon’s efforts as an actor, which trailed off into supporting roles and small independent films after the 2005 fizzle of Underclassman, a movie he wrote, Mr. Cannon’s efforts as a recording artist have been on hold since the mid-2000s. But he appears to be revving up to re-enter the fray. He recently released a single, entitled “Famous.” In the video, Mr. Cannon appears in one of those “BITCH I’M FAMOUS” T-shirts and parodies stars like Michael Jackson and MC Hammer. (Sample lyric: “Lights, stars, money, cars / When this beat drop let them know who you are.”)

“We have a lot of other stuff coming down the pipeline,” he promised. “I never really left the music industry. I just was behind the scenes doing other stuff. So now we have this single on TeenNick and MTV—it’s one of those things I do because I love it.”
Ms. Osbourne said she had tried to get Mr. Cannon to quit his drive-time radio show to free up some of his time. “He loves it too much!”

She added: “He’s so much into pop culture, with youth, and TV, and film, and cartoons: he’s into everything. He’s going to be one of the next great billionaire entrepreneurs.”

One of Mr. Cannon’s signature achievements at TeenNick, he and others said, is spearheading the network’s annual HALO Awards, which honor young viewers for their charitable endeavors. (Last year’s winners included a high school senior who used Twitter to help Haitian earthquake victims find their families and the young president of a foster youth advocacy organization.) “It kind of just helps it build an identity,” Mr. Cannon said. The goal, he explained, was to make a statement about what TeenNick represented. “A socially aware, socially conscious, young-minded kid or teenager is who we look to gear towards,” he said.

TeenNick has made still more of a splash, though, with the launch of “The ’90s Are All That,” a programming block of Clinton-era Nickelodeon programs aimed at a slightly older viewer, the nostalgic 20-something, including reruns of Kenan and Kel (on which Mr. Cannon was credited as a writer), All That (on which he starred), Doug and Clarissa Explains It All. The idea was an instant hit: on the first night, TeenNick had four of the top 10 programs among 12 to 24-year-olds in the midnight-to-2 a.m. time period. Overall, the network saw a rise in total viewership of 114 percent from the previous year, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Perhaps more important, the repackaging of this archival material sparked a frenzy on Twitter and Facebook.

Credit for the coup is hard to assign. According to Mr. Cannon, he has been pushing the idea since starting his new job. “It was one of the first things I talked about,” he said. “It was probably more of a sell for myself—like, people love that! On Twitter, all the time, people were like, ‘Bring back All That! Bring back Kenan and Kel!’”

Mr. Dawkins, however, suggested that the idea had other origins. “The late-night block was an idea independent of Nick,” he said. “That was about the audience speaking out in volume, 15 million strong: ‘Bring our Nickelodeon back!’ We were hearing that out there on Facebook, Twitter, video-based sites. And then there’s a bunch of 20-somethings who reflect that audience who work here now, and they presented us executives the same idea.”

Mr. Cannon, he said, was helpful as a sounding board: “I asked him what it was like, what was the audience feedback,” he recalled. “I showed him the spots. I wanted to hear from anyone who was part of that journey.”

Mr. Cannon’s entertainment industry journey began early: he grew up in San Diego and Charlotte, N.C. (Dad was a televangelist), getting his start in local talent shows. After making San Diego his permanent home at 15, he began auditioning and was eventually cast on All That, sort of an SNL-for-kids, that still has numerous admirers. “At the time I thought I was too old to be on there, because there were younger cast members,” he said. “I was 18. Looking back, it was the perfect age.”

There are those to wonder if, at 30, he isn’t a little young to be the face of a network. Last year, to retaliate for the rapper Eminem’s various attacks on Ms. Carey’s virtue, Mr. Cannon released a comedy single under the persona “Slick Nick,” which included the lyric, “I dunno if I should hit him cuz he’s feminine, Slick / Excuse me, Eminem, but why you lyin’ on your dick?” Around the same time, he Tweeted that late-night host Chelsea Handler was “white trash” and “looks like she got hit in the face with a hot bag [of] nickels.” These are not the kind of comments that are likely to get someone a HALO award nomination.

Mr. Cannon was asked about such unguarded moments. “I think that’s part of life,” he said. “There’s a difference between my occupation and who I am. But it’s always from respect and positivity. I don’t attack people, but I stand up for what I believe in. And I think that’s what we teach our viewers. From Degrassi to the HALO Awards, everything represents using your voice to stand up for what you believe in.”

Mr. Cannon often finds himself standing up for Ms. Carey and their relationship. When we ventured that many observers found the pair’s 2008 wedding surprising due to an 11-year age difference and a certain perception of Mr. Cannon’s role, he finished our sentence. “Errand boy?” he said.

He chalked up the misconception to “everything from my youthful exuberance—the fact that I look young—to the fact that people think I don’t deserve to be in certain situations.” As for tabloid rumors: “It’s so damaging to their own credibility. It’s so untrue—to me, obviously untrue—if it seemed like a possibility that I could be a womanizer or my wife could be overpowering—all that stuff is so ridiculous to me.” (Mr. Cannon is somewhat reticent about his personal life these days, having perhaps learned a hard lesson about acting out a romance in the public sphere: in October 2007, he and his then-fiancée, Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, broke up just five months after he broadcast his proposal to her on the giant MTV Networks Times Square Jumbotron.)

Asked whether Ms. Carey ever advised him on his various endeavors, Mr. Cannon said pillow talk between them rarely touches on work. “There’s so many other things to talk about,” he said. “When you’re at home you want to talk about anything but work. We try to have fun, even though the media tries to make up stuff—we just have the perfect relationship.”

Not that ever loses sight of his No. 1 goal. “I just want to be a part of great entertainment, at the end of the day, whatever aspect it could be,” he said. “Whether I’m on stage telling a joke, making a record, TV, acting, hosting, producing, starring in a film, I just love entertainment. You ever have a sports buff, who loves golf, and basketball, and loves going to horse races—you’re a sports enthusiast. I’m an entertainment enthusiast.”

And he’s not alone in that: Ryan Seacrest, for example, produces programming for E! while hosting American Idol and a nationwide radio show, and Andy Cohen juggles a gig managing Bravo’s programming with another as host of a late-night talk show. The Observer asked Mr. Cannon how he’d compare himself with the two, and he pondered for a moment. “People say I’m the hardest-working man in entertainment,” he began, whereupon Mr. Dawkins walked into his office.

“Like those shoes, man,” said Mr. Cannon.

“A little Cole Haan, actually,” said Mr. Dawkins. The two discussed the more fashionable choices the shoe company’s designers had been making of late.

“It’s funny, I was watching—with my wife—your stand-up on Showtime,” Mr. Dawkins noted, referring to Mr. Showbiz, a special from this year during which Mr. Cannon referred to Eminem as “Enema.” He said she was pleasantly surprised. “I think she has a certain lens on what Nick Cannon is, and she was like”—Mr. Dawkins feigned surprise—“‘this is funny!’”

“It’s so funny that people say that,” Mr. Cannon replied, aware that his reputation as a kiddie entertainer has created a certain perception. “I’m sorry you were thinking it would be not hilarious.” Mr. Dawkins said Mr. Cannon would need to prove himself continuously. “Andre 3000 said it best,” said Mr. Cannon. “You’re only funky as your last cut.”

We asked Mr. Cannon, again, how he’d compare himself with Mr. Seacrest and Mr. Cohen. “I think it’s a new kind of entertainer now,” he said, before reconsidering. “Actually it’s not a new kind of entertainer. You think about Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, Desi Arnaz—he was a great producer. It’s the same thing where—I call it an entrepretainer. It’s a businessman and an entertainer at the same time. That’s kind of what you have to be.”

ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

Let the good times zigzag.

Don't listen to all the reports of economic doom and gloom. The good times are here again! How do we know? Because insane condo parties have returned.

Once a staple of the bubble, over-the-top parties tapered off when matters grew more pressing for developers than whether to serve white Champagne or rosé. You could almost hear the madness coming to a head when John Legend performed at an opening in the Financial District and Seal was doing a gig at another project uptown. On the same night. The Times called it a real estate battle of the bands.

With units disappearing and prices creeping up from not-so lows, we'll go ahead and say it: the housing market, at least in New York, is back. As if we needed a clearer indication of that, consider the opening party for the Mercedes House.

First off, consider the Mercedes House itself. A high-profile architect, Enrique Norten, built an unusually shaped building that zigzags up from the Hudson. There is a Mercedes dealership on the ground floor. The building, the first major Manhattan project by David and Jed Walentas' Two Trees Development, is named after this dealership. Let us repeat. The building is called the Mercedes House. The building is called the Mercedes House.

If that were  not enough, the opening party will be hosted by former Nickelodeon darling Nick Cannon. Our favorite cabaretist and star spawn Alexa Ray Joel will be there, along with Rev. Run of Run DMC fame. Oh, and the chairman and the CEO of Mercedes. The food is by the chef at Danny Meyer's Modern, Gabriel Kreuther. A surprise musical guest is promised. Could it be Mr. Cannon's inimitable wife, Mariah Carey?

Pass the Champagne, would you?

Update: A point of clarification—the party is being hosted by Mercedes-Benz at their dealership, not by Two Trees at the condos. Still, we think the party, which is next Tuesday, speaks for itself.

mchaban [at] observer.com | @MC_NYC

You'd love it.

Besides, we have other buildings and stuff. Times Square, the Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum and Borough Hall will be draped in blue and white. There was a Mass earlier today for you at St. Patrick's (you probably know that?). And City Council Speaker Christine Quinn has asked New Yorkers to place battery-operated blue and white candles in their windows. So there's that, too.

Why exactly did Mr. Malkin refuse to light up his historic skyscraper on your behalf? His response to the debate came in a press release: "As a privately owned building, ESB has a specific policy against any other lighting for religious figures or requests by religions and religious organizations." There is no such prohibition involving smokin' hot pop songstresses, such as Mariah Carey in 2008. Perhaps Mr. Malkin places himself in the same camp as Christopher Hitchens, the guy who in 2003 announced in his typically bombastic style that you were a "fanatic, a fundamentalist, and a fraud." Zing!

For New Yorkers wanting to celebrate your birthday, there are two major options then: bask in blue and white in Times Square or Borough Hall, or release some anger protesting at the lack of blue and white at the Empire State Building. Choices, choices...