Last night's Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Benefit will probably be--in the long run--lost to the annals of time, indistinguishable from last years, or the years before, or any year since Anna Wintour took over, actually. But for us who were there on the sidelines, waving frantically at a very pregnant Kim Kardashian and an actively dismissive Kanye West, screaming for just a moment of Lena Dunham or Kate Beckinsale time while pressed up against the barriers of the press pen like poor animals on the way to the slaughterhouse, listening to the woman next to us ask every female celebrity the same questions--"Did you eat anything today? What did you eat? How long did it take you to get into the dress?"--the irony of the night's theme was not lost on us.

"Punk: From Chaos to Couture" was already going to be a difficult concept for designers, celebrities, and various rich people to wrap their head around. For one thing, it implies that punk--as a movement, as a musical genre--ever evolved out chaos into some sort of couture maturity. Even The New York Times got it twisted: David Byrne and Debbie Harry, while being two great artists, were never 'punk.' Debbie Harry was more punk than most, you could say she lived like a punk, or dressed like a punk, but her voice was always too clear, too lilting, never "Fuck you"-enough to be considered part of the movement.

This sort of mass confusion was amusedly referenced to more than once in the evening. Bee Shaffer, daughter of Anna Wintour, showed up in a giant Dior couture ballgown, shrugging off questions of fitting the night's theme by saying that she was always more of a girly girl. Jerry Seinfeld asked Jimmy Fallon, in what we generously assumed was a joke (as these men were both wearing designer tuxedos): "When did punk start? The 70s? The 80s? I feel like it was the 70s..." Anna Wintour herself was wearing a pink flowered dress, because she had been told that "pink was punk."

Even the younger generation, who you'd think would have had at least  a Good Charlotte notion of what Punk looked like, had apparently seen Pink in one too many ballgowns. The weird Olsens were dressed like....something (Ashley was an orange cloud, her sister looked like a semi-goth librarian), but whatever that something was, it wasn't book.

Then again, it seemed even more offensive when they got it right. Cameron Diaz wore a blue number by Stella McCartney, whose ode to punkness was a confined to a golden belt of long spikes. Donatella Versace wore a dress made of spikes. One woman, wearing spiked Louboutins, decided that to be truly punk, she would spit on the red carpet, which was totally punk...until she delicately traipsed over it to get to her seat. The three or four who got it right (Lily Westwood, whose dress was made from recycled garbage; Greta Gerwig; Madonna;Mily Cyrus; the old women who died their hair pink) seemed ironically out of place at such a black tie ball where everyone else just wore whatever Tom Ford--who wore his usual black tux, by the way, while discussing how "punk" was a state of being--had made for them.

We're just saying: Maybe next year the theme should be something that the 1% can handle without seeming clueless or offensive. "Comic Con" perhaps?

New York fashion week has finally come to a close. Amen! For those less-fortunate editors and fashion authorities (or perhaps we are the lucky ones) that have not jetted off to London or Milan, we finally get a moment to recover.

In retrospect, we relished the young talents of Prabal Gurung and Jason Wu. The Observer will never forget the spectacle and grandeur of Alexander Wang—or the impeccable quality of Simon Spurr’s suiting. With such a busy social schedule and so many shows, it’s hard to remember all the garments we evaluated with a careful eye.

We’re still a smidgen bitter about a few mishaps with Oscar de la Renta and PR Consulting… but we forgive easily… Oscar might possibly have been the best women’s collection in town! Best of luck obtaining the financial means to swing the $15,000 price tag...

One thing we do recall in our hazy fatigue, is the undeniable fact that fur is back. Yes, yes it never really left! But honestly!

"It's so glamorous and luxe!" proclaimed Joan Rivers about fur, backstage at Dennis Basso.

Perhaps Ms. Rivers is in the right. Has there ever been so much mink, chinchilla, fox, raccoon, coyote, goat, rabbit, astrakhan, Mongolian lamb, ermine and sable shown in New York? Probably… but let’s peruse The Oberserver’s favorites— shall we?

Images: GETTY and Patrick McMullan.

The Diet Pepsi-sponsored show, presented by Simon Doonan (creative ambassador-at-large at Barneys), brought four regional designers to create looks on themes of Mr. Doonan's devising, including “fierce hyena” safari prints, avant-garde workwear that he touted as inspired by Daphne Guinness and Tilda Swinton. (Also, we noticed the Diet Pepsi-inspired looks, which basically meant silver dresses.)

In the front row sat Debra Messing, Kristen Chenoweth, Kelly Rutherford, Angela Simmons, Mary-Kate Olsen, Tinsley Mortimer and Jonathan Adler.

Mr. Doonan opened the show with an air of exasperation, as the poor man professed to searching such lowly places as hostels (the horror!) and “old person homes” for the best young designers the fashion world could cough up. Perhaps instantly recognizable of the designers was Shirin Askari, an alum of Project Runway.

Jay Manuel of “America's Next Top Model” arrived post-show and was immediately mobbed in a storm of camera flashes and clamoring voices, later posing on the catwalk for photos with his fans.

Diet Pepsi was ubiquitous in the event's décor. Johnathan Adler's red, white and blue retro pattern was everywhere, festooning the invitations, program and giant lamps in the studio space. Adler's retro pattern extended to the smallest details, like long, plastic straws that balanced precariously in glasses of pinot grigio clutched by party-goers, or tumblers filled with the signature drinks of the night: Diet Pepsi mixed with rum or vanilla vodka (Um, ick!). Not to mention that the catwalk was lined by those skinny cans Sofia Vergara dances around with in those commercials.

As Mr. Doonan put it, Fashion Week is "vast, annoying, hilarious and fabulous at the same time. You just have to surrender to it."

Though when asked what he hated about Fashion Week, he parried.

“I hate that there are so many shows that I can't get to them all. I would want to go to everything, but that's virtually impossible. It's utterly overwhelming and completely insane but kind of fabulous as well.”

After the celebrities had split and the music was still blaring, off-duty models and party-goers took to the stage and runway, busting out model poses, or danced as they awkwardly sipped the Diet Pepsi concoctions with Adler's tall straws, trying to keep the dwindling party alive before getting kicked out unceremoniously at 10pm.

An Olsen sandwich!

It was only a couple years ago that the Olsen twins were as ubiquitous as Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian combined. But time has either been fair or unfair to Mary-Kate and Ashley (depending on your view of fame vs. the relative hassle of paparazzi stalking), and as of late its their younger sister Elizabeth who has been getting all the attention for her groundbreaking performance in Martha Marcy May Marlene.

We're not saying this spotlight swivel would make New York's most infamous set of celebutante twins mad...but you know that none of their work in film has ever been called "shattering." (Despite the fact that one of the Ms. Olsens made out with Ben Kingsley in The Wackness.) So what have the twosome been doing to put their name back on their radar?

Going round the NYC party circuit, for deffies, like attending last night's cocktail party thrown by (for?) Christian Louboutin at Barney's. We must remember: these girls, like Ms. Kardashian, are entrepreneurs first...last we checked, their combined worth was in the billions (and that's not for their acting prowess). Their $39,000 alligator backpacks were flying off the shelves during Fashion Week, because who doesn't need an alligator backpack?

And apparently it was Mary-Kate, not Ashley who Saturday Night Live comedian Jason Sudeikis has been seeing lately. That makes sense: Mr. Sudeikis' last girlfriend was January Jones, another party-hopping, icy blonde. (Everyone knows MK is the crazier of the twins.) Ashley's love life is a little more speculative, but there's a chance she's trying to nab a certified geek, as evidenced by her and Mary-Kate's Halloween ad for a social-networking site featuring light sabers and storm trooper helmets. Sexy!

Waiters with trays of pungent cocktails worked their way through the packed space, offering the stiff drinks to the gasping guests. The room was filled with artwork, all set to be auctioned off throughout the evening to benefit the New York Academy of Art.
A colorful array of supporters was filling the room. Supporters of the Academy both young and old turned out for the auction, etching their names on bidding sheets around the room. Arden Wohl, Diana Taylor, Andre Balazs, Joanne Herring, Fabiola Beracasa, Cynthia Rowley, Glenda Bailey and Heather Mnuchin all walked around the space with the friendly formality that philanthropic endeavors tend to inspire.

Soon a barrage of flashbulbs announced the arrival of celebrity chef and Salman Rushdie ex Padma Lakshmi, who appeared appropriately statuesque in a short black dress, her hair pulled back to reveal a plunging neckline. Not long after, diminutive starlet Mary Kate Olsen entered the room. Wearing a long, shapeless, silk number and letting her long, blond, tresses flow uninhibited, the tiny tycoon was Ms. Lakshmi’s perfect foil.

Eileen Guggenheim, one of the founders of the New York Academy of Art, played hostess throughout the evening. Elegant in a Lanvin dress with Grecian draping, Ms. Guggenheim tirelessly circulated the room, greeting the auction house’s guests warmly and chatting with friends. The Observer asked Ms. Guggenheim what excited her most about the event. “To see people carrying works of art home. That’s the best,” she said with a smile. Ms. Guggenheim explained that she also participates in the auction, albeit clandestinely. “I do it mysteriously because I don’t bid using my name. I have my husband bid,” she divulged.

The silent auction bidding was staggered, with different sections of the room closing before others. Just before 7:30, a disembodied voice announced that bidding on the first section was nearly complete. People rushed to place their bids, pushing past performers on stilts wearing nude body suits and holding signs.

The Observer noticed designer Nicole Miller walking alone through one of the galleries, serenely appraising the artwork. We asked if Miller would be taking home a nude of her own. “I’ve taken home a whole lot of them over the years,” she admitted with a laugh. Ms. Miller, wearing a fitted black dress from her own line, noted that her own background made her particularly keen to support the Academy of Art. “I went to art school. So of course I’m very attached [to the cause]. I did many years of nude drawing myself,” she explained, pausing momentarily. “They called it life drawing, actually,” she said. Ms. Miller explained that it is important to foster arts education for young people. “Anything that broadens your horizons is really important,” she said. “And also expanding people’s worlds when they don’t have that access,” Ms. Miller concluded.

As the silent auction galleries began to close, guests competitively scribbled their bids, standing guard over their favorite pieces and ready to one-up friends and fellow revelers for their preferred pieces. “Take home a nude, dude!” the jaunty voice advised the crowd. “If you like it, buy it!”

Vanity Fair special correspondent and Andy Warhol biographer Bob Colacello was sharing a laugh with fellow guests after the auction when The Observer asked if he had acquired any pieces. “I have too many nudes … at home,” he said chortling. Having learned about the school from Warhol, another of its founders, Mr. Colacello recently became more involved, believing figurative arts must be preserved. “There obviously is a desire on the part of artists and collectors and the public to see the human figure portrayed in new ways,” he said. “And in a way I think that’s a lot harder and more challenging than piling up a bunch of junk in the corner and calling it an installation,” Mr. Colacello added haughtily. Asked what Warhol, his friend and colleague, would have said were he in attendance, Mr. Colacello laughed. “‘Oh, gee, oh, wow, I can’t believe, Mary Kate Olsen is here,’” he replied.

Later, we spotted Maureen Chiquet, Chanel’s global CEO, hovering over a photograph. The Observer asked if she was hoping to add to her art collection. “I’m trying desperately,” she said. “I may take home a live nude,” she added with a chuckle, glancing around the room. We wondered whether, like Ms. Miller, she saw a connection between her work and the Academy. After thinking for a moment, Ms. Chiquet gave a wry smile. “What I do is about beautiful things, and so is this,” she said. “We all love beautiful things,” the bantam businesswoman added before disappearing into the crowd.

The crowd had gravitated toward the back of the room where the live auction was set to start. Jeff Koons, Todd Eberle and Patrick Demarchelier were among the artists who had donated their pieces for the charity. Ten works were auctioned off in fast succession to eager buyers. In total the evening raised $800,000.

The auction completed, guests were finishing their drinks and preparing to leave. A fleet of red-shirted staff were on hand, wrapping up the art with astonishing agility. Most of the art had already been taken off the walls and their starkness bore little resemblance to the vibrant scene we witnessed upon arrival. The crowd, well-refreshed and well-heeled, took a final lap around the room. For a night in October, The Observer was impressed with the guests’ vitality. We left Sotheby’s, glad to have experienced the spirited Nude night for ourselves.

According to city records, the identical-twin franchise has finally sold the oft-price-zig-zagging West Village apartment—which they never lived in—for $7.7 million, only $300,000 more than they paid for the "twelve room trophy" in 2004. Listed with Prudential Elliman's buzzed-about broker Jared Seligman, the apartment sold to a Two BB LLC.

The designer duo, whose Elizabeth & James clothing line took advantage of fashion week traffic with a pop-up shop nearby Morton Square on Horatio and Hudson, first tried listing the nearly 6,000-square-foot apartment for $11.995 million in 2007. After three brokerage swaps and a final asking price of $8.43 million, the $300,000 the twins made on the investment probably won't even cover the broker fees.

cmalle@observer.com

Did you have a happy childhood?
I had an interesting childhood. My parents got divorced pretty early, I was going into the first grade, so I was young; but in New York, it’s not uncommon to have divorced parents. And I moved from the city to Westchester.

Did you get good grades?
I would get on report cards, ‘Definitely smart beyond his years but doesn’t put enough effort in.’

What were you like in high school?
To transition from middle school into high school in the suburbs, it was a complete culture shock, to say the least. I was kind of an outsider. … I remember the first day of school, everyone was like, ‘What sports do you play?’ or ‘What teams are you going out for?’ At my old school, we didn’t have a team. It was definitely quite a transition. … I went through an awkward stage. I was overweight. I was kind of all over the place.

That’s odd, you’re very skinny. What happened?
One day I definitely woke up and decided that I really wanted to get into better shape and take care of myself and have more energy.

Were your parents surprised when you didn’t go to college?
Well, I was hired full time at a PR company when I was 17, when I graduated high school—sort of an intern or whatever, but I was working full time.

Why did you leave PR for real estate?
I was very young. I thought I knew a lot more than I did. … I had a long talk with my boss—she kind of decided it wasn’t the best fit. She actually said to me, ‘I have no doubt in my mind in a decade you’ll own a media empire, but right now …’

Laid off and not in college? Did you have an existential crisis?
Oh, I was distraught. … I was so young, obviously, people had major hesitations about hiring me, so I was debating whether I could afford to be one of those kids who do whatever they want and travel and have fun and party. I made a choice, I said, ‘I’d always been thinking about real estate.’

Did you meet your future clients through that PR firm?
Funny you should ask—we actually just had a closing this week to my old boss. It was a nice-sized apartment, over a million dollars.

What do your parents do?
My father owns an envelope and paper company. And my mother, actually, she just took her state [real estate] exam yesterday and it’s soon to be, hopefully, a license. She lives in Westchester, and she’s going to be working with a friend out there. She already has her personal assistant.

You started with Citi Habitats and went to Corcoran, where you were apparently their youngest hire, top rookie and quickest promotion. Why did you leave three months ago for their rival, Elliman?
You know, it’s nothing too specific, but I knew a manager there and some other people. A lot of people that work there have always been like, ‘Oh, you should come over here.’ They just have such camaraderie.

What does it mean that you’re a senior vice president at Elliman?
The title’s just a title, to say the least. I think it gives me some credibility. When I started in the business, I was really hesitant to tell anyone how old I was. … It’s tough, you’re buying and selling really expensive apartments, people’s biggest decisions in their lifetimes—and you’re so young.

The Web site Curbed recently named you the broker of the year, and yet right now you have four listings, and three are below $1 million. Are you nervous about living up to the hype?
Worrying about what other people think is not what I really focus on.

What can you do to get more listings?
Obviously, this is not the time to go and sell your apartment and get the top price possible, so we took a few listings off the market and we rented some.

Have you called up Elliman’s biggest broker, Dolly Lenz, to introduce yourself?
No... Of course, meeting anyone with such success in this business would be an honor and a privilege. I definitely look forward to, hopefully, doing some business with her.

Would you want to be one of New York’s big mega-brokers?
At the end of the day, we’re in this business to, in some way, help people. … All that other stuff, if that comes with it? Great, but that’s not why I’m here.

Yet Page Six ranked you ahead of Alex Rodriguez on its ‘Hottest Bachelors’ list.
When I saw that, I was just laughing hysterically. I couldn’t believe that, and I had no idea how I made it to that list, or even before A-Rod, which is hysterical. I definitely think he’s a more valuable bachelor than I am.

Your clients reportedly include Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Richie, Ally Hilfiger, Margherita Missoni, Jessica Stam, Coco Rocha, Caroline Trentini, Hilary Rhoda and Lily Cole. Is that like being stuck in a Bret Easton Ellis novel?
I definitely work with a wide mix of people. It’s always funny to see a typical day. It’s not uncommon to go from someone very young and with a very interesting profession to a family looking for a place for their kids. At the end of the day, we give the same service to everyone.

Are you using the royal ‘we’?
Did I say ‘we’?

Have you always been friendly with models?
In terms of interesting types of people, I’ve always been lucky where I’ve been surrounded by very interesting smart and talented and successful people. Growing up in New York City, regardless of where you were, you were always meeting interesting people.

You were profiled in W magazine, and your last two birthday parties were both written about. Is that good for business?
At the end of the day, that’s just one little glimpse of one little thing. … Sometimes the most exciting thing I do in the week is watch reality television.

Brokering is slightly unglamorous; you’re at the mercy of the market and of clients, and you have to be servile to others’ needs. Would you want to go into, say, development?
I would love to learn more about development and get involved in, possibly, a creative project or two. … My job is definitely not glamorous. Last night I got a phone call at 10 o’clock: ‘Some water fixture broke in the bathroom, what do I do?’ It’s like, ‘O.K.,’ and you go over the steps one by one. … I would love to definitely branch out one day, but right now I’m just focusing on this.

What about returning to school?
I’ve definitely thought about taking some classes; that’s something I’m more than considering and would absolutely do in the near future. But in terms of stopping my work and going to school full time, that’s just not something that I would ever even imagine. … The thought of me not representing my clients is just something unheard of.

Your biggest-ever listing was Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s penthouse at One Morton Square, which you listed in November 2007 for $11.995 million, but the price went down to $10.995 and $10.495 and $9.995 million. Then this January it was pulled from the market without selling. What went wrong?
I think it’s obvious 2008 was a big transition from a seller’s market to a buyer’s market, so many listings on the market at every price point saw a major shift.

What’s the biggest sale you’ve ever closed?
I’ve brokered things to people from $500,000 to in excess of $10 million.

How many $10 million sales have you done?
I don’t think it’s important to really comment.

Would you recommend real estate to other 22-year-olds?
It’s funny, a lot of people come and see me or they’ll write me emails about looking to get into real estate. But it’s a tough business, there’s no stability. … Is it a career that I recommend to everyone? Absolutely not. This is tough, tough work.

mabelson@observer.com

Fashion design newcomers, who until recently had the support of awards and grants, are struggling to keep afloat. [NY Times] 

Also, celebrity fashion lines (though presumably, not the Olsens') are on their way out. [AdAge via Cityfile] 

Last night, Doo-Ri Chung debuted her secondary, lower-priced collection, which retails for $150 to $900, with most pieces in the $200 to $300 range. [Vogue UK] 

Unfortunately for Fashion Week organizers, First Lady Michelle Obama has yet to RSVP. [WWD] 

Tom Ford on the rumor that he's difficult to work for: "I don't think I'm a megalomaniac, though you'd have to ask the people who work with me. Either we click or they don't last very long. Do I throw tantrums? Yes. But more with Richard [Buckley, Mr. Ford's partner], at home if he's forgotten to buy milk." [Vogue UK] 

Tory Burch said that despite the current state of the economy, she does not plan on selling her label. But a 30 percent stake might be for sale. [WWD] 

Hearst International is launching editions of Harper's Bazaar in Bulgaria, Ukraine, Serbia, India and Croatia. [FWD] 

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have managed to move their fashion vision from Wal-Mart to Madison Avenue. [NY Times]

Ralph Lauren and Giorgio Armani have earned the top two spots in DNR.com's rankings of the 100 most powerful people in men's fashion and retail for the second year in a row, followed closely by Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, Miuccia Prada, Patrizio Bartelli, and François-Henri Pinault. [Vogue UK]