Gah!

Back in 1963, Willard Scott was not yet the famous weatherman of The Today Show; the predecessor to Al Roker. He was just a guy looking for a gig...any gig, as this newly unearthed McDonald's commercial reveals. Brought to the light of day for the burger joint's 50th anniversary, this television spot featuring Mr. Scott as Ronald McDonald raises way more questions than it answers. Mostly "How is that even a clown?", "Is that a cup on his nose?" and "Will I ever sleep again?"

Oh, and in case that wasn't terrifying enough, Mr. Scott also took over the role of Bozo the Clown for awhile:

But besides Mr. Scott's affinity for clowning around, how creepy is that McDonald's costume? Did people not know what clowns looked like back in the early 60s? Wasn't this before Stephen King wrote IT?

Jesus Christ guys, did Draper sign off on this?

Hey, big boy: Several groups of traders are under investigation for colluding to rig interbank lending rates, The Wall Street Journal reports, and most of them are unconnected to the Barclays traders whose cheerful emails surfaced as part of that bank's $451 million settlement with U.S. and U.K. regulators.

Libor numbers suck...Says Alphaville Lisa Pollack. She means the estimates of what banks may pay to end inquiries into interbank rate-rigging, as well as attempts to quantify the size of the derivatives market that moves with Libor.

More London Whale: JPMorgan's chief investment office made large trades in corporate credit derivatives at the end of January and February that may have temporarily boosted the value of the CIOs holdings ahead of internal audits, Bloomberg reports. The lender said earlier this month that the CIO had lost $5.8 billion in the position associated with the trader known as the London Whale, and that an internal investigation had revealed some employees may have exaggerated the value of certain positions to conceal the extent of losses.

Buffett leads on ResCap? Warren Buffett is positioning himself to acquire all of Ally Financial's bankrupt mortgage lender ResidentialCapital, or ResCap, The New York Post reports. Mr. Buffett had already been named the lead bidder for a portfolio of mortgage loans, but it now seen to be overtaking Fortress Investment Group to acquire the firm's mortgage platform as well.

Scott Thompson resumes...his career, joining e-commerce start-up ShopRunner as chief executive officer, some two months after Mr. Thompson was ousted from the top job at Yahoo after activist investor Dan Loeb uncovered inaccuracies on the executive's resume.

Whither Europe: European inspectors are in Athens to decide whether to continue making bailout loans to the troubled country. Spain placed a three-month ban on short-selling stocks, and Italy put a one-week stop on short-selling a list of 29 financial companies. Moody's placed a negative outlook on Germany, citing increased chances of a Greek eurozone exit and continuing struggles in Spain and Italy.

Worst days past? Real estate website Zillow called a bottom on the housing market: "We expect home values to remain relatively flat as the market works through a backlog of foreclosures and high rates of negative equity,” chief economist Stan Humphries said in a release.

Smaller mac: McDonald's said second-quarter profit fell 4 percent.

Greenwich Village McDonald's.

It’s been a site of scorn from residents and politicians for a series of violent episodes that have rocked the neighborhood.  Police have said it needs as much security as a rowdy bar. Except its not a rowdy bar, it’s Greenwich Village’s local Mickey D’s.

The fast-food chain, which is located on West 3rd Street, has been the site of three violent incidents in the past year, compelling City Council Speaker Christine Quinn to launch a boycott of the restaurant until they buff up security on Monday.­­Quinn — along with support from Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), Community Board 2 and Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer — are calling for the chain to hire an off-duty cop to police the restaurant at times when there is a potential for trouble.

“The first thing this McDonald’s needs to do is engage better security through the paid detail option that our police department offers,” Quinn said outside the restaurant Monday. “Those are off-duty police offcers trained in how to do this type of security. This will be a huge step forward, make a difference and a show of good faith.”

Additional security measures include giving police access to the restaurant’s security cameras and walling off seating at night so customers can’t linger in the restaurant.

The incidents that have sparked these demands have drawn critical attention from the Internet.

Most recently, the McDonald’s was the site of a large St. Patrick’s Day brawl on March 17. Police were called, but did not arrive on the scene until after the fighters dispersed. No one was charged in the incident, but a 42-second video shot by a customer chronicles the fight.

In October 2011, an employee beat two women with a metal pole, after the pair leaped across the counter and attacked him. Cashier Rayon McIntosh’s charges were dropped after he testified that his actions were out of self-defense. The disturbing confrontation was also captured on video.

Last spring, 26-year-old Damian Furtch was the target of an anti-gay hate crime outside of the restaurant, which left him with several facial injuries.

McDonald’s franchise owner Carmen Paulino said in a statement Monday that the restaurant hired a security guard last summer to work Wednesday through Saturday nights, but has not responded to the request that she hire NYPD support.

“The safety of my employees and customers will always be a priority,” she said. “I am committed to doing the right thing.”

A letter to Paulino signed by Quinn, Nadler, Stringer, Senator Tom Duane and State Assemblywoman Deborah Glick has asked for a meeting the week of April 2 to discuss these provisions.

Until that day, though, food is not the only threat at McDonald’s.

The mystifying powers of a seemingly endless Visa credit limit and the bargain prices of Walmart! (Image Katu.com)

Fordham University published their Fourth Quarter 2011 V-Positive Report, which measures the Consumer Value Index. The methodology is based off of a few psychological theories that reflect the "understanding of the motivation to consume." In short: a thousand people are surveyed at the end of the year and answer several attributes for each of the seven domains.

The research is then used to measure and showcase the extent of which massive corporations impact our lives. The questions consider happiness, self esteem and physiological benefits to truly list the most beneficial and admired companies.

In terms of Societal V-Positive, which measures brand value across the United States, the most highly regarded companies were as follows:

• 1. Walmart
• 2. Facebook
• 3. Google
• 4. Visa
• 5. Yahoo!
• 6. McDonald's
• 7. Amazon
• 8. Coca-Cola
• 9. Microsoft
• 10. Target

It's relatively clear that Americans like a bargain with Target, Amazon, and Walmart taking three of the spots. They also like to consume calories, in the case of McDonald's and Coca-Cola. Yahoo! and Microsoft might be the most questionable of them all, but Google says enough by being ahead of them. Now, Visa is kind of unexpected, but who doesn't love spending money they don't have at all of these other fine establishments?

We have all of these in New York except for Walmart. Then again, do we really need another night club?

mewing@observer.com

That's your McD face.

Bonus footage: The awkward banter between ABC's World News Now cohosts Paula Faris and Rob Nelson. Does he really not know what an Angus Burger is? Did she really just make a "I love meat in my mouth" comment? They're like ABC's version of Kathy Lee and Hoda.

The Big New York Burger

In an effort to compete with more "boutique" burger joints sprouting up in the Middle East, McDonald's has unveiled a "Big America" series of hamburger to replace their current Israeli best-seller, the McFalafel.

While McD's has infamously tweaked its menu in regards to its locale (We remember when the McRib came back, but only to New York at first), there's something patently bizarre about trying to shill a "Big Texas Burger" or a "Big New York Burger' in the middle of Jerusalem. After all, isn't McDonald's already the symbol of the Western World's fast food takeover in the Middle East? Why shove it down everyone's throat just how American these burgers really are?

And speaking of which: what constitutes a "New York" burger anyway? Is it just ketchup, mustard, and a healthy dose of cynicism? We can imagine a Big Texas involving some sort of mesquite sauce (hold the bacon) or jalapeno topping, but what do New York burgers have to recommend themselves as a stand-out item?

According to YNet.com, the answer lies not in the sauce but the beef itself, which is a "premium burger made from entrecote and prime rib." (Entrecote, by the way, is just another fancy word for "rib-eye.")

But what will really gouge is not the gall of this New York burger, but the price: a regular meal with fries and a beverage will go for roughly $14.95, American. Considering you can get a Quarter Pounder Supersized for that amount, we suggest staying in the big apple instead of traveling all the way to Israel to get your New York-themed McDonald's patty.

Still from video

It was around 7 p.m. Monday night, and the McDonald's across from Zuccotti Park was packed. Tired cops who had just spent two hours corralling protesters during one of Occupy Wall Street's marches waited in line behind tired protesters still caked in zombie makeup.  The lines for the bathroom were twenty people long; once inside a stall, the used toilet paper is stacked higher than the actual toilets.

A couple of families hurried in and out, one woman dragging her daughter away from two white guys in dreads who were giggling over some tablets of white powder.

"We just found these on the ground man," the two young men confided in us before opening up the capsules and pouring the contents onto the table to inspect. "You never know though."

Fairly surreal scenes like these are increasingly becoming typical as the Wall Street protests progress. But the two opposing fast-food chains that flank either side of the park -- Burger King and McDonald's -- have very different ways of dealing with  their new clientele. While Burger King has denied that it is banning protesters from their establishment, a "Boycott Burger King" Facebook page and a YouTube video taken by one young woman say otherwise. (Though what's the point of boycotting an establishment that won't let you in, anyway?)

This video, alleges protesters, shows that Burger King won't even allow a lady to buy a cup of coffee, instead calling the cops on her.

But the whole truth may not be seen here: the first portion of the video shows that this young protester was already having an altercation with the employees of the Burger King before she decided to prove how inhospitable the fast food chain was being.

When we walked in to BK Monday afternoon, we saw several obvious protesters (usually identified by grungy clothing and frantically searching for a power outlet to charge their computers or

The Burger King near Zuccotti Park

phones) ordering food without hassle. We asked to speak to a manager about the recent video, saying that we'd like to get their side of the story. At first the woman we spoke to identified herself as the manager, but after we asked for her name, she quickly covered up her name tag and called her boss. (We believe this woman's name was Jonella L.)

Once we convinced her that we were, in fact, press, Jonella opened up a little bit about Burger King's protester policy. "We allow everyone twenty minutes to sit, eat, and use the computers," she told us heatedly. "But these people...it happened this Saturday, last Wednesday....they would come in drunk, or they would try to unplug our equipment to plug in their own. We allowed them to use our bathroom, but then they took advantage of it. We can't allow that...we have families that come in here."

Then the Ms. L turned suspicious again, asking for our credentials and telling us that her boss was "in a meeting," despite the fact that we could hear her when she went to call, advising her superior not to talk to "someone from The Wall Street Journal."

We didn't receive a much warmer welcome at McDonald's, where our request to speak to a manager was only met with a hard stare. The employee took our card and told us that their manager "would call you if they feel like talking."

Fair enough. Being multinational corporate chains, one store's policy regarding the protesters could be less a statement on the restaurants themselves than a reflection on the personal decisions of whoever is in charge that day. But it could be dangerously construed otherwise.

Neither McDonald's nor Burger King's corporate offices have called us back for comment. And why would they? It's not in either of the chain's best interests to come out for or against the protesters. If the official line is "No, we don't allow protesters into our building," the company risks a boycott. If they say they welcome these new customers, they could be a boycott movement headed up by conservative groups like The American Family Association, or even ...gasp...Fox News. Can you imagine Bill O'Reilly having his cameramen come in and take footage of the refugee camp that the 160 Broadway location has become?

Inside the McDonalds near Zuccotti Park

Off the record though, those running the McDonald's at Liberty Plaza are extremely accommodating. One manager, who preferred not to be identified, told us Sunday that they are trying their best to be welcoming to everyone.

"We are very nice to these people, all we ask is that they clean up after themselves and don't disturb anyone else," said the manager. He was currently blocking off the entirety of the second floor, which also happens a lot: whether this is a time-based decision (the floors are only open certain hours) or to dissuade long-term residence is unknown.

The protesters themselves can't speak highly enough of McDonald's for being "really cool" about letting them use the facilities and free WiFi. We were told that McDonald's has gone so far as to occasionally let protesters use the private back room on the second floor (called the Orchid Room) to charge computers and hold meetings.

If the irony of an anti-capitalist organization championing a corporate chain like McDonald's seems like the definition of irony...well, it sort of is. Just like Occupy Wall Street members get criticized for using Apple products while demanding that corporate monopolies be destroyed ("Apple isn't a monopoly though!" some protesters are quick to point out), their patronage of McDonald's seems, in theory, to undermine their argument against conglomerates.

But aren't those who work at McDonald's part of the 99 percent as well? And if a giant company like McDonald's is offering a safe-haven to these protesters when it starts to rain and their equipment gets wet...which dutifully picks up after them after the bathrooms inevitably become a pigsty (while still welcoming them back the next day!), then the theoretical arguments of an Adbusters article eventually gives way to the building's practical uses.

This is not to say that all Occupy Wall Street participants just hang out in McDonald's and chow down on Big Macs. On the contrary, many, if not most, of the protesters I've met are vegan. So, they tend to favor the apple slices and black coffee. Concessions are made, and the uneasy peace continues.

Naturally, this got The Observer a-hankerin'. So off we went to Daisy May's Barbeque for a pulled pork sandwich. Only after finishing our delectable lunch, pink napkin besmirched with drippings, did we realize the McRib is late to the party. When you live in New York, with our boundless gustatory options, there is no need for mass-market pap. Herewith is a dozen of the city's best McRib alternatives. Grab your own pink napkin and enjoy.

SLIDESHOW: Knick Ribs

mchaban [at] observer.com | @mc_nyo

Entomologist Colin S. Brent, who practices professional bug-ology for the Federal Department of Foods and Agriculture. "My first response as a scientist would be bafflement as to why Pogonomyrmex was chosen." He is not baffled by the long and complicated-to-pronounce name of the ants, which are more cutely known as "Pogos." He is baffled because, in the wild, these ants live off seeds. Desert seeds. "They might enjoy the sesame seeds on the buns, but that would be about it."

Combination-style paleo-entomologist Michael S. Engel, who went a little easier on the artist. "If I had to toss in a particular group of ants into an enclosure to see how well they were going to thrive off junk food. I'd throw in generalist carnivores and omnivores like army ants."

Bert Hölldobler, a Pulitzer-Prize-winning pröfessor who knows so much about ants that he cö-authored a book... called The Ants. "I have been asked repeatedly to help artists to fill their creations with ants. Some of the proposals were quite mind-boggling." You shut 'em down, Hölldobler.

The artist behind the piece, Elizabeth Demaray, works at Rutgers as an Assistant Professor, but was unfortunately "out of the office," and could not return requests for comment. By the way, all of the ants in the exhibit are dying. But the ones that are surviving are really loving those tasty little seeds with which McDonald's so graciously sprinkes their buns.