Which begs the question: What the hell are you thinking?

Seriously. We'd like to hear from you.

The financial punditry has been banging out a Facebook-will-be-overpriced beat for so long, that developments like Zuck & Co. increasing the size of the offering or upping the price range can be a little startling. Who are these people clamoring for the stock, and why aren't they asking themselves this:

If shares allocated at the current $34-$38 price range are going to be reserved for the institutional investors (mutual funds, hedge funds, pension funds that generate fees for investment bankers);

And if the shares that do get allocated for people like you (perhaps 5 to 30 percent, depending on who you ask) typically wind up in the hands of brokerages' most preferred (read: fee generating) customers;

Then: who do you think you're buying the stock from?

Well. It could be the same institutional investors who were treated to first helpings and now stand to profit as you and your aunt touch grubby fingers to mouse pad and goose the People's Company to valuations liable to make the entire Fast Money team rasp and gasp their way to a collective heart attack. Or it could be the financial collossi: Tiger Global Management, which is selling 53.8 million shares in the offering, or Goldman Sachs, which is selling 66 million. Or else the VCs: Peter Thiel is selling 44.7 million shares, Accel Partners 201.4 million.

In any case, it may behoove some introspection: If you're buying from the smart money, does that make you...dumb?

Maybe not! Which is the great thing about this (capitalism, America, etc.): Facebook seems to add 100 million users every other month and maybe the naysayers are reading the wrong playbook. In case of which contingency we ask you, dear muppets, what do you know that the pundits don't? Please tell.

[Photo: Ross Hawkes]

Kermit and his environmentalist, anticapitalist, socialist friends.

What is it about the preholiday season that winds everyone tighter than the postsurgery forehead of a Real Housewife? We’re trying to stay out of the drama as all of New York lets fly a seeming year’s worth of unaired grievances this week. Case in point: Ms. New York Diana Taylor’s ticked-off response to the locked-out union art handlers of Sotheby’s had more than a couple of people up in arms last week, the auction-house board member having replied curtly to a bunch of protesters interrupting a meeting that she would resign if Sotheby’s CEO Bill Ruprecht acquiesced to any of their demands. It wouldn’t have been that big a deal (what happens in board meetings stays in board meetings) except that Ms. Taylor had the misfortune of giving her brusque brush-off to the Teamsters while someone happened to be filming.

Not that you need to be Mayor Bloomberg’s paramour to get attention these days. You can also be part of his so-called “personal army” (those men in blue with “NYPD” etched into their badges). Occupiers on Seventh and Broadway went into a rage after being arrested on National AIDS Day and forced to watch their captors “sadistically” eat the free pizza that Housing Works Bookstore had sent to OWS in solidarity. Hey, whatever happened to the “feed anyone who’s hungry” plan? At least your civil servants know how to multitask: they can hand Occupiers a summons with one hand and eat a slice with the other.

And if the NYPD wanted extra spice on their pies, they wouldn’t have to use their own—they could just go to Banana Kelly High School in the Bronx, where two days ago a student injured 20 people (including the principal) with a can of pepper spray. This is the third New York City school in the past three weeks to report an incident involving the latest weapon du jour. Wonder if Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna feels hip for starting a trend that’s caught on like wildfire (and feels like it, too). Soon administrators are going to have to start carrying milk cartons around in case anyone gets trigger-happy.

But it’s not all bad news. We recently had the opportunity to sit in on TV’s tipsiest talk show, Watch What Happens Live, with Bravo’s signature “power suit,” Andy Cohen. My, does that man have the world’s nicest teeth—even when he’s polling viewers about which housewife of Atlanta has “the biggest donkey booty.” We look forward to WWHL’s becoming a five-night-a-week phenomenon come January, if only because it’s the only talk show in town that gives its audience an open bar tab. (One call-in viewer may have taken the popular theme of “Single Woman Getting Wasted Alone to Bravo” a little too seriously; she proudly announced that she had been dutifully chugging whenever Mr. Cohen said the night’s “secret word” and later revealed she was tossing back shots of Nyquil, not rum and Coke.)

Another fun piece of gossip divulged at Mr. Cohen’s after-hours party den: King of Comedy actress Sandra Bernhard revealed that she had been up for a role in Sex and the City. The brassy, whiskey-voiced comedian wasn’t reading for Samantha, but uptight Miranda. But: “The pilot script was a disaster and they were offering the worst money in the world.” Cue five minutes of bickering over whether or not any of the other women besides Sarah Jessica Parker made money off the show (premovies, of course).

Sadly, the world has bigger problems to discuss than the size of Kim Catrall’s ... paycheck. Like the fact that the Muppets are environmentalist, anticapitalist socialists from President Obama’s secret camp of puppet propaganda. It’s true! We heard it on Fox Business News’s Follow the Money, where Eric Bolling and a roundtable of ostensibly sane people devoted seven minutes to explaining how Jim Henson’s studios were destroying America’s youth with their liberal brainwashing.

“What are we, in socialist China?!” shrieked one guest host outraged at the concept of “sharing” being promoted on programs like Sesame Street. Oh, not yet, Fox Business News. Give it another year. In the meantime, we’re gonna try to unwind with a nice, spicy slice and maybe a shot of Nyquil.

Yes, they are.

If you've seen The Muppets, then you probably already know that the so-called "kid's movie" is actually propaganda from Democrats, Occupy Wall Street, and those anti-fracking crazies.

Still Fox Business News, apparently not heeding that memo about toning down their political views and leaving the crazy-pants rhetoric to the big boys in Roger Ailes' studio, felt the need to make this VERY BLATANT ATTACK ON REPUBLICANS even BLATANT-ER, and dissected every angle of Kermit and Co.'s new adventure as being pro-Obama liberal hogwash. This seven minute segment of outrage is based solely on the fact that the villain in the film is an oil baron named Tex Richman.


Favorite lines:
-"If you want to be fair, why not have a Barney Frank Muppet? Though Barney Frank looks like a Muppet anyway, so that wouldn't be much of a stretch."
- "Tex Richman, that's what the Muppet's name is, is part of the American Dream." (Tex Richman is not a Muppet, but the evil oil baron played by Chris Cooper.)
- "Dan, are there any Occupy Wall Street Muppets?"
"There should be!"

So maybe Muppets are not protesting Wall Street, or Sesame Street, but the #OccupySesameStreet meta-meme—an absurdists' take with little to say on the state of the actual protest, and yet, a stunningly funny one—was taken to a new level this morning by some very creative photoshoppers at Tauntr, a website we've never actually heard of but are now amused by no less. Like this one:

Surely this meme has room to go before being exhausted (seeing as how this reporter has personally witnessed a brief yet substantial Muppet occupation of Williamsburg, perhaps, even possible). B for Bulls On Parade? Andrew Ross Sorkin walking down Sesame Street to ensure that it's safe for Lloyd Blankfein, perhaps? Either way, the rest of their photos are Tauntr's site. Do enjoy.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

Bert and Ernie are best friends.  They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.

Over at The Cutline, Mr. Stableford also notes the protest of certain Facebook commenters, who note The Count's many girlfriends and the HIV-infected character on a South African version of Sesame Street. While a loss for gay marriage advocates, the news break is a victory for the silent asexual and androgynous contingent among us, who have yet to publicly rally against their persecution by those in the philosophically murky ground of expressing desire for Bert and Ernie to not only come out, but to be homosexuals in the first place.

Maybe with rising rents as they are, Sesame Street just isn't the progressive neighborhood it once was. If they're considering a move, Williamsburg has already proven a welcome home for New Yorkers of their particular stripe.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

"Brian" was referring to his prescription of Adderall XR. A shortage of Adderall - an amphetamine ostensibly used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder - was recently reported by the Wall Street Journal. A deadstock crisis is notable for the potential to wreck havoc on creative classes, students of all ages (during finals!), and then, of course, people actually prescribed it.

Adderall manufacturer Shire PLC blames the FDA for not boosting supply of amphetamine in December. The FDA has shrugged off responsibility, explaining that they did, in fact, approve the proper amount. 

"Yeah, we don't have that," said Sam, a pharmacy associate at a nearby Duane Reade, when asked if a 30mg Adderall XR prescription could be filled there. "I'm not sure what's going on. All I know is the pharmacist said it wasn't there." Calls to other Duane Reades around Manhattan yielded various results: some were "expecting a shipment," others curiously explained that they only carry it on a customer-by-customer basis.

A woman at another location asked how much we needed: "Twenty? Yeah, I have enough." The Duane Reade pharmacist near "Brian's" office explained:

"[It's] very hard to get. It's been unavailable for a while. Other stores are calling me. I've got an order coming in on Thursday; we'll see what happens. Right now, I'm out or low on [most kinds]," but, he explained, did have the generic brand. Some insurers, however, will only pay for the brand-name drug. Making matters worse: Shire actually supplies the generic version themselves, too. 

"Brian" concluded: "This is a crisis of the creative class. The Adderall panic of 2011! It's a worse problem than BIKE LANES."

The Transom can't agree more, finding it more and more difficult to focus every day, and then sometimes Tumblr goes down, and the pretzel bowls go empty, and we sit here and think, oh, a goldfish would go really nicely in that bowl, and then someone yells at us for letting the bowl stick around and not recycling it, usually Carlos, or whoever, and he's right, even though who really recycles in Manhattan? They all say they do but come on, which also reminds us that we should probably get to know people better, not just people, but you know, people. 

[fkamer@observer.com | On Twitter] 

Mr. Bronfman has resettled in London, which is said to be why he is selling the home. Having offloaded his old townhouse around the corner to Len Blavatnik for $50 million in 2007--more than 10 times what he paid for it in 1994--perhaps the Seagrams heir and Warner Music boss can come to terms with a 20 percent loss on the Muppet manse, which just sold for $23 million, according to city records.

The buyer has a sense of humor, hiding behind a limited-liability corporation by the name of Statler. That happens to be the name of the tall, skinny muppet who heckles the stars from a theater box along with his pal Waldorf on the old Muppet Show. And yet the joke is on the buyer, as the deed lists an address for the LLC at 1211 Avenue of the Americas, headquarters of News Corp., and the deed has been signed by one of the building's denizens, Jesse Angelo, editor of The Daily.

This seems like an awfully expensive home for the 37-year-old Murdoch man, whose most recent purchase was a $1.9 million condo at the Meatpacking District's Porter House, bought in January 2005. Then again, as a recent profile revealed, Mr. Angelo is the son of a hedge fund manager. Plus, there is the $30 million Rupert gave his squire to start his iPad-only publication...

The 12,000-square-foot home is in need of a top-to-bottom, every-inch renovation, as Corcoran brokers Carrie Chiang and Loy Carlos write in their listing: "There are few opportunities to create a 40-ft wide majestic residence reminiscent of the golden era when the most prominent New Yorkers like the Fricks, Vanderbilts, Carnegies and Roosevelts built palatial homes in what was then an up and coming neighborhood... the Upper East Side. In 1928, Beekman Winthrop commissioned architect Julius Gaylor who created this masterful residence. [...] The house awaits a special purchaser who desires to undertake a restoration befitting its history, marrying it with the best of 21st century technology."

Does Mr. Angelo really have that kind of money, or could the home be for one of his News Corp. cubicle mates? He did not return repeated requests for comment, and the brokers, who had a co-exclusive with Brown Harris Stevens' Paula Del Nunzio and Alina Pedroso, declined to comment. "We don't even know who the buyer is," Ms. Chiang said.

Read past Manhattan Transfers here. >>

mchaban [at] observer.com | @mc_nyo

Need proof? Check today's Times Op-Ed page, where an Op-Art column headlined Puppet Government presents the show's balcony-bound curmudgeons Statler and Waldorf cracking wise on tonight's maybe on/maybe off debates.

The best part of the column is definitely the straight-faced byline: "Hugh Fink, Scott Ganz and Andrew Samson write for the Muppets. Statler & Waldorf are Muppets."

Uptown wants in, too.

Brian Brille, the global head of investment banking for Bank of America, and his wife, Leslie Simmons Brille, have listed their red-brick neo-Georgian mansion at 117-119 East 69th Street for $32 million. They bought the place for just $12.4 million in May 2005, and haven’t slept a night there.

“We spent two years making an amazing set of plans to build a very special family home,” Ms. Brille said. “It had been not a family home for quiet a while—we were going to bring it back to that glory.” (It had belonged to Muppets creator Jim Henson and his company, who paid $600,000 for the place in 1977. Oddly, the Hensons bought from the New York State Pharmaceutical Association, which had converted the house into offices in 1951.)

Now the Brilles have two young children. “I just personally don’t have the ability to manage the renovation,” their mother said. “I’m done. I don’t want to do any more plans.” As for Mr. Brille: “He decided he wants a doorman,” listing broker Carrie Chiang said Monday, when news of the listing was broken on The Observer’s Web site.

Ms. Brille conceded that the house is nothing but a nice clean shell, but she said the $32 million asking price—$19.6 million more than the couple paid—was justified. “Between the cleaning up, developing plans and looking where the market is, that led us to our decision.”

“It’s a raw space,” their broker said, “but it has the most gorgeous staircase. And you’re looking into the back of Woody Allen’s house.”

On the downside, the Department of Buildings has a stop-work order on the building, according to city records. That has “something to do with some permit; I’m not even sure what it is,” Ms. Brille said. “I can’t even explain what it is, but it will be cleared by the time we sell.”

Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema is offering the rare opportunity to share in this joy with others—presumably of our same age group—with midnight screenings of The Muppets Take Manhattan on May 25, 26 and 27. It is the last of the live-action trilogy that also includes The Muppet Movie and The Great Muppet Caper, in which the gang tries to get a musical produced on Broadway. It features (and ends) with the first marriage between frog and pig. I’m sure you can guess which two I mean. Some things you never forget.

Landmark Sunshine Cinema, 143 East Houston Street, www.moviefone.com