Prince Pierre Casiraghi with Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld, pre-fight (Patrick McMullan)

Updated: An earlier edition of this item suggested that Ms. Hilton was at the club at the time of the assault. She was in Las Vegas, celebrating her birthday and winning a lot of money. The New York Observer apologizes for the error.

Today's biggest headline in the New York Post wasn't about Jeremy Lin or Cardinal Tim Dolan. How refreshing! Instead, the story of the day is about a spat at the Meatpacking Club Double Seven club on Saturday night, between former owner of Hawaiian Tropic Zone, Adam Hock, and a group of very young adults with very old money. The night ended with a sprained shoulder for Mr. Hock and an alleged broken jaw for 24-year-old Prince Pierre Casiraghi, the grandson of Grace Kelly. Mr. Hock is now being charged with four counts of third-degree assault.

Fights between socialites and bar owners are usually relegated to Page Six. So how did Emily Smith's team make Saturday's punch-up front page news? The answer might lay in a throw-away reference to the rest of the prince's posse.

Hock, 47, said he was just defending himself and the bevy of models seated at his table after Casiraghi, Paris Hilton ex Stavros Niarchos and scenesters Vladimir Restoin Roitfeld and Diego Marroquin became “belligerent” and “aggressive” because he was at a better table than them.

Without getting into the he-said, he-said of the ordeal (Mr. Hock claimed that the kids were drinking his friend's bottle service, while party promoter Nima Yamini said that Mr. Hock "just went nuts") take a look at some of those names. Paris Hilton and her ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos were always a terrible combo: those two can't enter a bar without it basically exploding into a flurry of fists. Vladmir Restoin Roitfeld (the son of French Vogue's former editor, Caroline Roitfeld), Diego Marroquin, and Prince Casiraghi, on the other hand, might be well-known party-goers, but their names aren't usually tied to bar brawls.

And reading the testimony of events, it did seem as if the original beef was between the shipping heir and Mr. Hock. While the first Post story assumed Prince Casiraghi as the instigator:

Hock, 47, had been partying with friends — including Double Seven owner Jeffrey Jah, hairdresser-to-the-stars Joel Warren and catwalk stunners Natasha Poly, Valentina Zalyaeva and Anja Rubik — when Casiraghi strolled over to their table with shipping-scion pal and Paris Hilton ex Stavros Niarchos III and two other men at around 2:30 a.m., witnesses said.

...the front-page story today had Mr. Hock switching his story over to blame Mr. Niarchos:

“My friend Peter Bakker [supermodel Natasha Poly’s husband] (editor's note: yes, this would be the same Natasha Poly who just purchased a posh condo at 100 11th Ave) was there at our table with his wife and two other top models. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I could see there was hostility between Peter and Stavros Niarchos,” Hock said.

Gary Oldman. (Julie Cunnah Photography)

As we quietly chanted a self-affirming (however desperate) "you can do this" to ourselves while rocking back and forth in the fetal position, The Observer's phone lit up with a surprise last minute invite to something a little off the beaten path: A two-hour reserved-seating Q&A session with screen legend Gary Oldman. The invite washed over us like an awesome wave.

First stop: Lincoln Center's Walter Reed Theater

• Being fans of The Fifth Element is an understatement. Being in awe of Gary Oldman's career is an even greater understatement.
• Mr. Oldman was whispered to be in an undisclosed location somewhere at Lincoln center having his photo taken on what photographers John Reuter and Myrna Suarez dubbed "The Largest Polaroid In The World." We caught up with them as they approached the theater.
• As we cozy our way into the packed house, the screen lights up with scenes from Oldman's career: Blood gushing from the mouth as Sid Vicious, revolver discharging wildly in The Professional, a tattered Sirius Black in Harry Potter, the menacing intergalactic arms dealer from The Fifth Element.
• The lights go on, and Mr. Oldman bounds toward the stage, beaming. We are an even bigger fan of him in person.
• Turns out this guy studied the art of mime. Whoa.
• When asked by an intrepid audience member whether he listened to music in preparation of a role, Mr. Oldman snickered, "Of course I do! Music is like pornography, it's immediate, it's a supreme art form."
• A flask is a very important thing to bring to Lincoln Center.

Our sweet tooth for Oldman sated, it was time to get back to business: Nur Khan and Nima Yamini kicked off the Electric Room's concert series.

Abbey Lee Kershaw with Chain. (Balarama Heller Photography)

• The erstwhile "supermodel" Abbey Lee Kershaw's band Our Mountain would be on tap for the evening. Nobody in the room seemed to have any idea what to expect, but there was definitely a bike chain and a trashcan in the band's setup.
• Bombay Sapphire seemed to keep the throng at bay as we waited for what looked to be a freshly bejeweled Abbey and her band to take their place in front of the, er, fireplace.
• Ok. Here we go. Things are happening.
• 17 cameras fixated on Ms. Kershaw, our ears start sending signals to our brains. The signals were mainly, "Uh, what?"
• More than our fair share of shrieking, howling, gyrating and experimental clothing later, it was time for the bike chain to come out. Boy, oh boy...
• Wouldn't you know, this track isn't so bad!
• Nur got the sense as the band slowly descended into a low BPM haze, he very well might lose the crowd. Expert ringleader he is, Mr. Khan makes a quick nod to DJ's Todd Smolar and Mike Nouveau to take evasive action. The band finishes out their set, and we're back to life.
• Keep that gin coming, baby.