Young love: Robert Godt and Kaylee Dedrick...engaged!

Kaylee Dedrick was just an innocent Occupy Wall Street protester back in September when Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna blew pepper spray directly into her face, which in turn blew her directly into the arms of her now-fiance.

It's an OWS Valentine's miracle!

We had written (somewhat cynically, because we are cold-hearted Scrooges), that the romance between Ms. Dedrick and 24-year-old Robert Grodt from Santa Cruz was bound to fail, despite the fact that the duo had met when he saved her from further harm after the pepper spraying incident, pulling her into a nearby movie theater and washing her eyes out. We weren't just hating: Mr. Godt had told The Wall Street Journal in November that he had enjoyed the sleeping bags of several women since arriving at Zuccotti Park, and that his out-in-the-open make-out sessions were "a natural human thing."

While the timeline is a little bit fuzzy as to when Mr. Godt and Ms. Dedrick officially started dating, (as well as to when Ms. Dedrick started being interested in men) The New York Observer pegged him as a Z-Park playa, and had entirely forgotten about the incident until we received an email from Kaylee Dedrick's mother this afternoon.

She informed us that the two were now engaged, and that Mr. Godt had proposed to her daughter in Zuccotti Park on New Year's Eve.

"And he is really a nice guy after all," wrote the older Ms. Dedrick.

Hey, we're happy to admit that we were wrong to judge the love between two demonstrators: mazal tov to the both of you.

But gift giving can be hard! Especially, as they say, for the person in your life who has everything...though they never tell you how difficult it can be to shop for the person who has nothing.

What kind of stocking stuffer are you supposed to get your loved ones who are currently occupying Wall Street? Do they just want a card with some money in it, or is that offensive? Should you buy them something utilitarian to wear in the cold, or just send them a plane ticket home? And where are you supposed to send your gifts to, anyway? Care of Liberty Plaza, the local NYPD precinct, or the North Pole? (We hear the elves are picketing outside Santa's factory because of the union lockout, so postal service might be iffy.)

We've spent months trying to decipher what exactly the Occupiers want. And while you may not be able to re-haul our entire  system of government or end Fracking once and for all--you'd have to find out what it is first--we've come up with a list of 15 treats that are sure to please even the most picky protester this holiday season.

Kenny Loghman, creator of pepper spray (via Democracy Now)

Democracy Now has an interview with Kamran Loghman, the man who developed weapon-grade pepper spray that the police at UC Davis and Occupy Wall Street have used on protesters. He is not happy that the weapon he created is being used in ways he does not agree with.

Says Mr. Loghman:

"The use was just absolutely out of the ordinary and it was not in accordance with any training or policy of any department that I know of. I personally certified 4,000 police officers in the early ‘80s and ‘90s and I have never seen this before. That’s why I was shocked... I feel is my civic duty to explain to the public that this is not what pepper spray was developed for."

In the pepper spray's defense, it is just basically a food item, and was obviously developed for delicious consumption.

Megyn Kelly, let us pepper spray you

Dear Megyn Kelly:
Earlier this week on Bill O'Reilly you minimized the effects of the pepper spray used by police on UC Davis students. "It’s like a derivative of real pepper," you said. "It’s a food product essentially.”

This comment, as you know, has sparked outrage all over the country. Currently, there is a petition with 11,000 signatures asking you to undergo a pepper spraying yourself, so you can notice the difference between a police weapon and something you put on your low-carb chicken Fiesta salad.

The New York Observer wants to extend this offer even further: Come to our offices, Ms. Kelly, and let us document your experience of being maced or sprayed with high grade pepper spray.

You might be wondering "Why should I let The New York Observer in on this piece of stunt journalism? If I do this, why wouldn't I want it to be done by professionals, like that time Christopher Hitchens was waterboarded or Rick Sanchez was tasered?"

The answer is simple: if you let us pepper spray you, we'll allow you to pepper spray one of us to disprove the counterargument that pepper spray is more than just "abrasive." (We'll keep milk and VISINE handy.) If it turns out that being sprayed in the face is more a tactic of fear than actual physical pain, than your point will be proven and people will stop making fun of you on the Internet. And even if it does turn out to be a painful, somewhat terrifying experience for you, then you'll get the chance to retaliate in kind...an option never presented to protesters.

It's a win-win, really. Please let us know ASAP, so we can start assembling the necessary materials. We can do it on a Friday, so the red, swollen eyes won't get in the way of your next TV appearance.

Sincerely,
The New York Observer

All is fair in love and Mace

Then there's the curious case of Kaylee Dedrick, a victim of the NYPD's Mace-iest cop, who still plans on pressing charges for misdemeanor assault. Robert Grodt, another activist from Santa Cruz who was at the scene of the September 24th incident, managed to drag Ms. Dedrick after she had fallen to the ground into a nearby movie theater, where he treated her eyes in the darkness of utility closet. Now the two are an item, and the tale of the "pepper spray couple" stands as a testament to both the power of love and chemical agent.

Photo via Flickr

While the NYPD continues to make promises of an investigation of Deputy Inspector Anthony "Tony Bologna" Bologna's use of pepper-spray on unarmed female protesters during Saturday's Occupy Wall Street protests, he has yet to be disciplined. Despite videos showing two separate incidents of what appears to be unwarranted and abusive use of the weapon, Inspector Bologna still remains in active service. While that may seem like a grave injustice to women like Chelsea Elliott who were harmed during the attacks, the public outcry has been strong enough for the offices of Manhattan D.A. Cyrus R. Vance Jr. to launch a separate investigation into the case.

A spokesperson from the D.A.'s office told The New York Times today:

“The district attorney’s office takes all allegations of police misconduct seriously...(the arrests are) being reviewed under the standard procedure.”

While that might not sound very reassuring and pretty damn vague -- there was absolutely no mention of a specific officer or incident -- a source that had been briefed on the situation told The New York Times that Inspector Bologna's "episode" with the protesters were being investigated specifically due to the large amount of complaints the city received after the videos went viral.

Fun fact: Anthony Bologna works in the NYPD's counterterrorism unit, and according to one (anonymous) officer on the scene, wasn't intending to spray the women, but was aiming for "some men who he believed were pushing up against officers and causing a confrontation that put officers at risk of injury." Let's watch that video again, shall we?

It's true that we only have one angle of the incident to go on, but unless Inspector Bologna was aiming for the back of the head of the single male individual in black who was in the same vicinity of the meshed-in ladies, it appears that the spray was either indiscriminate, or intended for the women he was aiming for. Unless of course, the NYPD is referring to this second video, in which it is unclear who Inspector Bologna was spraying at...but since the police department's official stance is that pepper-spray was only deployed once during the protests, they are in a tough position of having to refer to evidence they won't admit the existence of in order to make that case.

At the time of this writing, the NYPD still has not responded to our inquiries regarding the second video.

The New York Observer was reserving judgment on Officer Bologna, because there is a lot of misinformation being spread out there by both the NYPD and "Occupy New York" sympathizers. But now a second video has surfaced of Bologna using the pepper-spray on another group during Saturday's protests, just to get them out of his way.

The New York Times said Bologna's nonchalant attitude "looked as if he were spraying cockroaches." Then it turned out that this particular officer has a history of complaints regarding protestor abuse. The longer the NYPD sits on this, the worse it's going to get, as evidenced by Lawrence O'Donnell's seven minute tirade demanding the heads of Officer Bologna and his superiors at police department.

NYPD spokesperson Paul J. Browne told The New York Times' that the deputy had used the spray "appropriately," and that it was deployed only once during the protests. We've put in a request to the NYPD's press department for an updated statement now that this second video has been released. We'll update if and when we get a response.