Governor Christie takes aim at a spider on his desk.

Oh, Chris Christie, ever a man of the people. First he saved New Jerseyans from the ravages of Superstorm Sandy, and last Friday, he saved innocent schoolchildren … from a spider.

A video posted to YouTube last week shows an heroic scene from a group of schoolchildren’s visit to the N.J. Governor’s office: After somebody spots a spider on Gov. Christie’s desk, the governor nudges the students aside and throws himself in harm’s way, fatally squashing the spider before it gets the chance to unleash its arachnid wrath on the children.

Then, Gov. Christie casually wipes the spider’s remains onto the jacket draped over the back of his chair and then onto his pants—keepin’ it classy.

“That’s also one of the fun parts about being governor,” Gov. Christie is heard saying in the video, “Any bugs on your desk, you’re allowed to kill them and not get in trouble.”

At least, that’s what he thought. Predictably, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is upset over the spider’s demise, and has issued a statement on the event. “He probably did it without thinking,” said Ingrid Newkirk, PETA’s president, “Some people put the spider outside, but spiders are often scary to people, and that can prevent them from pondering their worth.”

Though we are certain the spider had plenty of worth to his or her spider community, we can't help but side with the governor on this one. Though the world lost one spider last Friday, it also gained the laughter of twenty children.

Anyways, Gov. Chrsitie may not win the arachnophiles’ votes come November’s gubernatorial elections, but there’s no doubt N.J.’s fearless governor has won himself a roomful of pint-sized supporters.

Is this horse still alive? (Warner Brothers)

Earlier today, The Observer wrote an article that detailed the controversy surrounding the deaths of 27 animals at a Warner Brothers-owned farm in New Zealand. The Wellington farm housed trained animals for Warner's $500 million production of The Hobbit.

While we cast some doubt over the timeline of the events that apparently exonerated both Peter Jackson and the American Humane Association (which is the only organization allowed to issue those "No Animals Were Harmed"™ disclaimers) from investigating the deaths, PETA--which is protesting the film's release--offered us some insight into the matter.

From our inbox:

Thank you for your thoughtful and challenging piece on The Hobbit. I can address this:

"The timeline is also dubious, because the wranglers who stepped forward to identify themselves to the press—Chris Langridge, Lynn Langridge and Johnny Smythe—had all complained about the conditions of the animals during 2011, and were either fired for arguing with their bosses, or quit in frustration after getting no reply from management about the letters they sent. Letters about horses with broken backs and sliced-open legs, and mysterious cover-ups on autopsy reports."

The whistleblowers initially came to PETA in September this year after seeing that we exposed the deaths on Luck as well as issues on more than a dozen AHA-monitored films. (I put AP in touch with them.) Johnny Smythe had initially tried to get press attention on the horse deaths in 2011, but it never got out of a local paper in New Zealand.

American Humane inspects housing all the time, so I don’t know why they’re pretending they don’t. And they certainly knew of issues as far back as 2011. Below is an email sent to them by a New Zealand reporter in November 2011, which was leaked to us. AHA also acknowledges in its review of the film that it wasn’t present for all filming of animals, so I don’t know how Mr. Jackson can claim they were.

All best,
Kathy Guillermo
Senior Vice President
--
From: Tom Hunt [mailto:Tom.Hunt@dompost.co.nz]
Sent: Sunday, November 06, 2011 4:18 PM
To: Media American Humane
Subject:

Hi,
I am a reporter for New Zealand newspaper The Dominion Post.
I received a tip this morning that animals being used in the making of the Hobbit films have been mistreated. According to the person who gave me the tip, so far 3 horses, 6 goats, and 5 sheep have all died preventable deaths.
In one case I understand a small pony was put in a paddock with a larger, violent horse, which killed it. Another horse fell off a bluff, and another died from being given too much 'hard feed'.
Goats have apparently been put into paddocks with no roughage.
I was wondering if your organisation had received any complaints along these lines and if you had any concerns?
Thanks for your time.
Tom Hunt.

Tom Hunt
Reporter
The Dominion Post
www.dompost.co.nz

Checking the date of the journalist's email, he sent it in November of 2011, well after the "early 2011" upgrades the Mr. Jackson and the AHA claimed they made.

Guess how many animals made it out of this film alive. (Warner Bros.)

Yesterday afternoon, Peter Jackson's The Hobbit hit its first scandalous speed bump after the AP spoke to several animal wranglers who claimed to have witnessed the deaths of at least 28 animals housed at a Warner Brothers-owned Wellington farm that was being used as a holding pen for the film's four-legged characters.

After the leak about the avoidable demise of horses, sheep, goats and chickens, all there is left to do is find out who will fall on their mighty Glamdring for this PR disaster.

So far, the likely candidates include:

A) The owners of the Wellington training farm, a k a Warner Brothers, which housed 150 animals in conditions that have been described as "death traps";

B) Peter Jackson, for putting his film before the well-being of the animals that may or may not be featured in the final version;

C) The American Humane Association, for pulling another Luck and falling asleep on the job by not monitoring the safety of the animals involved in the film;

D) The "disgruntled" wranglers themselves;

E) ORCS??!

From the damage control done so far, we can eliminate B and C from the list: Peter Jackson and the producers have already released the following statement, claiming that the wranglers that brought up the allegations were angry ex-employees who were fired from The Hobbit over a year ago.

STATEMENT FROM PETER JACKSON & THE HOBBIT PRODUCERS
The producers of The Hobbit take the welfare of all animals very seriously and have always pursued the highest standard of care for animals in their charge. Any incidents that occurred that were brought to their attention as regards to this care were immediately investigated and appropriate action taken. This includes hundreds of thousands of dollars that were spent on upgrading housing and stable facilities in early 2011.

The producers completely reject the accusations that twenty seven animals died due to mistreatment during the making of the films. Extraordinary measures were taken to make sure that animals were not used during action sequences or any other sequence that might create undue stress for the animals involved. Over fifty five per cent of all shots using animals in The Hobbit are in fact computer generated; this includes horses, ponies, rabbits, hedgehogs, birds, deer, elk, mice, wild boars, and wolves.

The American Humane Association (AHA) was on hand to monitor all use of animals by the production. No animals died or were harmed on set during filming.

We regret that some of these accusations by wranglers who were dismissed from the film over a year ago are only now being brought to our attention. We are currently investigating these new allegations and are attempting to speak with all parties involved to establish the truth.

Meanwhile, the AHA is busy covering its own ass, claiming (like Jackson) that it went above and beyond its duty to ensure that animal safety was the top priority ... both on and off set. The last thing it needs is another Luck on its hands:

AMERICAN HUMANE ASSOCIATION CALLS ANIMAL DEATHS

ON ‘THE HOBBIT’ UNACCEPTABLE; RENEWS CALL TO EXTEND MONITORING

OFF THE SET AS WELL AS ON

“There are too many incidents off set and they must stop,” says AHA President

WASHINGTON, D.C., November 19 -- American Humane Association, which has protected more than a million animals in film during the 70+ years of its famed “No Animals Were Harmed®” program with a 99.98 percent safety rate on set, called the injuries and deaths of animals living at the working farm where some of the animal actors from “The Hobbit” were also being housed needless and unacceptable. The organization renewed its call to the entertainment industry asking for additional jurisdiction and funding to keep animal actors safe not only while they are working on set, but off set as well to address illegitimate suppliers of animals and to ensure proper training, housing and retirement of these important and beloved co-stars of film and television. In January 2012, American Humane Association sent letters to industry leaders seeking ways to work together to improve the welfare of animals off the set as well as on.

“We are currently only empowered to monitor animal actors while they are working on production sets,” says American Humane Association President and CEO Dr. Robin Ganzert. “We do not have either the jurisdiction or funding to extend that oversight to activities or conditions off set or before animals come under our protection. There are too many incidents off the set and this must stop. It is vital that we work with the industry to bring the kind of protection we have for animals during filming to all phases of production.”

Because of American Humane Association’s monitoring of the animal action which included having a licensed veterinarian on the scene, no animals were harmed on set during filming of “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.” However, upon learning of injuries and deaths of animals while being housed at a working farm 186 miles from the main set and 26 miles from the soundstage, American Humane Association went beyond its jurisdiction and authority to visit, examine and make safety recommendations and improvements to the farm. These recommendations were implemented a year ago, bringing a higher level of animal welfare to all animals living on the site into the future.

Which leaves just the animal wranglers, or the orcs. (And possibly Warner Brothers, who we assume are the "producers" referred to in Jackson's letter, although it makes no mention of them owning the farm where the beasts were living.)

Except a closer reading of both Jackson and the AHA's press statements reveal a level of hand-washing that would make Lady Macbeth proud.

For instance, Jackson's letter claims: "Any incidents that occurred that were brought to their attention as regards to this care were immediately investigated and appropriate action taken. This includes hundreds of thousands of dollars that were spent on upgrading housing and stable facilities in early 2011."

Which, in real-speak, means that there were events precipitating unnatural deaths in the animals ... at least enough to raise alarm bells for the producers, who were suddenly willing to shell out "hundreds of thousands of dollars" in 2011 to change and upgrade their facilities. That's not something most producers are willing to spring for over some "natural deaths" ... the only kind Jackson claimed to be aware of.

So no, it doesn't hold water that Peter Jackson and the producers are just finding out now about the one wrangler who had to bury three horses, six sheep, six goats and about a dozen chickens ... all before "early 2011," when the film company sprang for more hospitable living conditions thanks to the AHA alerting them.

The timeline is also dubious, because the wranglers who stepped forward to identify themselves to the press--Chris Langridge, Lynn Langridge and Johnny Smythe--had all complained about the conditions of the animals during 2011, and were either fired for arguing with their bosses, or quit in frustration after getting no reply from management about the letters they sent. Letters about horses with broken backs and sliced-open legs, and mysterious cover-ups on autopsy reports.

Then there's the fact that the AHA letter highlights the physical distance between the farm and the set (186 miles) in order to prove how extra-diligent they were for even investigating the matter, without mentioning once that the establishment happened to be owned by the film's producers, Warner Brothers.

Jackson's spokesperson declined to tell the AP who currently owns the farm, or whether the animals who live there may be used for another Hobbit film in the trilogy. However: "Jackson himself adopted three of the pigs used."

Which is all not to say that Jackson, the producers or AHA is necessarily responsible for the animals' deaths. After all, this does fall into a murky gray area for the AHA, which is supposed to investigate the background of animals used on-set, but doesn't have much authority beyond telling producers not to use those from a certain breeder or seller. And it's understandable that The Hobbit’s creators might overlook a couple routine fatalities off-set, as they were focused more on the safety of the animals on-set than the ones housed 186 miles away that might not even be used in the film.

Still ... yikes, what a mess. PETA, obviously, is planning to protest the film. And with the premiere edging closer by the day, the most the filmmaker and Warner Brothers can hope for is that when the blame is finally done shuffling, it's the Orcs who are left holding the hot potato.

Honey Boo Boo and Nugget. (Facebook)

– Jon Hamm's girlfriend is not a fan of Jon Hamm's penis getting all the attention. Also, apparently Jon Hamm doesn't wear underwear? Very cool.

– The beef between Jonah Hill and CNN anchor Don Lemon is hysterical. Mr. Lemon was so miffed that the famous TV star didn't know who he was that he tweeted about it, then Jonah tweeted back, and then Lemon went and complained about it being treated "like the help" on Starting Point with Soledad O'Brien. How professional.

– I bet you've always wanted to know what Dana's love interest on Homeland did before he was the VP's kid. Well, apparently a lot of rapping.

http://youtu.be/GszV6rvD4sI

– Lindsay Lohan is not going to do a planned interview with Barbara Walters because she doesn't want to talk about her car crash. Fine. It's not like there aren't a billion of other subjects to grill Lindsay Lohan on. It's called compromise, people!

– PETA is scared that Honey Boo Boo will eat her pet chicken, named Nugget. Maybe she can make it up to them by posing topless or something.

The nightmare just won't end for 'Luck' (HBO)

No wonder HBO turned down The Corrections...they probably can't afford it! Yesterday, the news broke that Luck, the David Milch/Michael Mann show that was put out to pasture after suffering from low ratings and terrible P.R. due to multiple horse deaths, cost parent company Time Warner $35 million to cancel.

But it doesn't end there...the sinkhole of a show could continue to balloon in costs despite being off the air, thanks to a new filing by PETA to the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office for an independent investigation of animal abuse.

Thanks to new evidence provided by a whistleblower who provided some explicit documents, PETA has a host of new complaints against the show. Their website lists the allegations against the program:

• To save money, horses were underfed. One horse was an alarming 300 pounds underweight. Trainer Matt Chew proposed to cover the protruding ribs of another horse with a blanket during filming.
• Horses who were sick were still used in filming.
• Some sick horses disappeared from the set without explanation, and the trainer was warned that he could be charged with neglect.
• Improperly trained, unprepared horses were used in racing sequences, endangering the horses and jockeys.
• Horses were regularly drugged, including being tranquilized in order to keep them docile.
• The trainer attempted to deceive humane officers by providing false names for horses, apparently to keep the humane officers from finding out that the horses were unfit for running the "races" required for filming.

PETA is also claiming that the American Humane Association did not do its duty with the 50 horses they were in charge of during the filming: that AHA-hired officers complained of the animals' treatment and called for trainer Matt Chew to be fired...a fact which was allegedly ignored by the AHA. They are asking the D.A. to investigate these charges, as well as the death of a fourth horse that may have died during hiatus.

In a Washington Post item about the filing, PETA claimed it "does not have any evidence to suggest that AHA shared its concerns about any potentially illegal behavior with [the DA’s] office or other law enforcement.”

The horses on the set of 'Luck' (HBO)

Now a third horse has died, and we think we have our answer.

According to the New York Post, filming has been suspended as the American Humane Association checks out the incidents surrounding the death of this third horse, who died yesterday.

“We are also insisting that this stoppage remain in full effect pending a complete, thorough, and comprehensive investigation,” the AHA said in a statement to the Post.

HBO also released a statement to the press, noting that an "American Humane Association Certified Safety Representative was on the premises when the accident occurred, and as always, all safety precautions were in place."

HBO also said they were saddened by the death, though both groups were quick to point out that the accident did not occur during filming or racing. Which makes it sound even more suspicious, n'est–ce pas?

Neither group is releasing any more information about the horse, including what type of horse it was (a racing horse or a "stunt" horse), where it came from, or its name.

PETA is understandably pissed, especially since the day before the death, they had sent a letter to the L.A. district attorney, asking for the production to be shut down.

Unlucky break for 'Luck'

Critics have already been effusive in their praise for Luck, the new HBO show created by David Milch. Executive produced by Michael Mann and by star Dustin Hoffman, the series sets out to expose the seedy underbelly of the thoroughbred racing scene.

But eagle-eyed viewers may notice one detail missing from the pilot episode, as well as one additional installment: the American Humane Association's usual seal of approval certifying that "No Animals Were Harmed" during the filming of the show. Instead, those two episodes state merely that "The American Humane Association Monitored the animal action."

That's because while Luck takes a hard look at those who exploit animals for money, the show itself has come under scrutiny after two of the horses used in the production broke their legs during filming and had to be euthanized.

PETA was the first to latch on to Luck's bad luck, in a January 27 article, "Nothing But Bad Luck for Horses in 'Luck,'" that noted:

While filming the show's pilot, a horse suffered a severe fracture after falling during a race sequence and was euthanized. Another horse was killed while filming a later episode.

While the pilot of the show includes a scene in which a horse breaks its leg and has to be put down, HBO told The Observer that the scene did not include the animal that actually died, but was accomplished using a combination of "trained" movie horses and CGI. The other horse death happened while shooting the seventh episode of the show; both were injured during short race scenes, and not during stunts segments.

According to a press release from the American Humane Association, also dated on January 27:

The horses were checked immediately afterwards by the onsite veterinarians and in each case a severe fracture deemed the condition inoperable. The decision was that the most humane course of action was euthanasia. An American Humane Certified Animal Safety Representative™ was monitoring the animal action on the set when the incidents occurred and observed the veterinarian on the set perform the soundness checks and approve the horses, prior to racing them. A full investigation and necropsy was conducted for each accident immediately afterwards...

American Humane Association is deeply saddened by the deaths of these two wonderful animals. Protecting the welfare of the animals we serve is not only our mission, it is the passion of each and every one of us who works for this program. Because of these accidents, the two episodes in question do not carry the full certification, “No Animals Were Harmed”^®.

Since then however, the certification has been given back to the show, after HBO worked with the association to develop additional safeguards. HBO emailed The Observer: "After the second accident, production was suspended while the production worked with AHA and racing industry experts to adopt additional protocols specifically for horse racing sequences. The protocols included but were not limited to the hiring of an additional veterinarian and radiography of the legs of all horses being used by the production. HBO fully adopted all of AHA’s rigorous safety guidelines before production resumed."

Kathy Guillermo, vice president of PETA, said  that PETA was now in contact with HBO, though the original article stated that efforts to reach out to Mr. Milch had been rebuffed. PETA is now demanding the names of the deceased horses, as well as their background, be released before the show. A source at HBO added that the necropsy results and the names of the horses are privileged information and will not be released.

Liam Neeson

Liam Neeson's wolfy action flick The Grey has PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) snarling and snapping at film producers. In a post published last Thursday in PETA's official blog, blogger Michelle Sherrow first expressed anger that the filmmakers had not kept their word to PETA representatives:

PETA met with a producer of The Grey and explained how animals used in movies often spend most of their time confined to chains or cages when they are not performing and may be beaten or deprived of food in order to force them to perform. The producers assured us that they would use only computer-generated imagery and animatronic wolves—but we've now learned that they reneged on their promise.

Calling The Grey's director Joe Carnahan "Joe Carnage," Ms. Sherrow cited reports that Neeson and fellow cast members had eaten wolf meat to immerse themselves in the desperate situation portrayed in the film and compared The Grey's potential impact on wolves to the demonizing effects Steven Spielberg's Jaws had on sharks in the late 1970s:

The Grey portrays these intelligent, family-oriented animals the same way in which Jaws portrays sharks. The writers paint a pack of wolves living in the Alaskan wilderness as bloodthirsty monsters, intent on killing every survivor of a plane crash by tearing each person limb from limb.

Audiences are not running from The Grey. Nikki Finke reported Friday that it was projected to be "the No. 1 movie at the North American box office," scoring a projected $17.6 million in box office receipts.

[PETA.org]

Are you into breasts or thighs?

Congratulations are due to New York Times photographer Tony Cenicola for giving us the perfect companion to PETA's upcoming porn site: A seductive, naked chicken (the article is about delicious, delicious skin meat) just asking you to eat it.

So what's the message here?

A) "Suck it, vegans!"

B) "Because sometimes when you are horny you are actually just hungry...and vice versa..."

C)  "Remember that Seinfeld episode where George brings meat products into his sex play? We're bringing that back."

All of the above? We're never going to be able to look at a chicken -- or naked woman without a head -- the same way again.

Perhaps it's a lost cause at this point--Basso is famed as a furrier, after all--but today's show seemed even more inundated with pelts than usual. The front row was peppered generously with ladies in their thirties, embracing the show's theme by wrapping themselves in the animal of their choice. As The Observer made the rounds we were frequently brushed up by and even smothered by the masses of fur.

And then the actual show began. The Noah's Ark of critters gliding across the runway included lynx, kidassia, broadtail, chinchilla, sable, mink, alligator, coyote, bassarisk, chinchilla, Russian barguzine sable and arctic fox.

We ran into the Tinsley Mortimer in the coat-wearing scrum--another piece of anecdotal evidence that could, perhaps, prove that she's back.

"OK, OK, lemme just --" Mortimer said to The Observer as a photographer imposed on our conversation.

The camera snapped a few shots and backed off from us. "Sorry, I'm trying here," Mortimer said.

Then we asked if this much fur could be considered unethical.

"I mean, I'm not sure, I feel like, oh, sorry"--another cameraman had approached, and she turned toward him.

"Wait, can you, yeah, you wanna? Oh, it's fine if you wanna take a picture it's just I was talk-king so lemme just--" The camera once again shut and opened its exposure as Mortimer posed. 

After the brief photo shoot we resumed out conversation about the ethics of fashion.

"That's a tough question, I don't think I can answer that."

We pointed out to Ms. Mortimer that she was wearing a white fur coat, the layers of pelt flowing and overlapping until they reached the hem.

"I was nicely loaned this fur from Dennis, um, but um, I think, um--it's too hard for me to answer that question."

She did admit that she's a fan of the designer.

"I love Dennis, he's such a character, he's amazing, and, um--and his beautiful, beautiful clothes."

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234