Jamie Foxx and Tarantino at the Django Unchained premiere. (Credit: Barrett Jones)

Say what you will about Quentin Tarantino, but that man knows how to hold an audience. Last night at the Ziegfeld Theatre, where Andrew Saffir's Cinema Society premiered Django Unchained, Mr. Tarantino bounded on stage like a crazed carnival barker and yelled, "Who is ready to see Django? Who is ready to see Django off his CHAIN?! Who is ready to see motherfucking Django off his motherfucking CHAIN?"

As polarizing as his previous works have been, it's probably safe to say that this film, starring Jamie Foxx as the titular freed slave/white man bounty hunter Django, will be his most controversial work yet, and this is not helped by his gleeful carnival barker's act while promoting it.

But last night everyone was still all smiles during the after-party, held at The Standard Biergarten. Jamie Foxx took a turn on the dance floor with anyone who happened to be in his path, while Samuel L. Jackson (who will almost definitely be getting a Best Supporting nod for the movie) posed for photo after photo with fans. At around 1 a.m., Mr. Foxx took over the deejay booth with the writer/director.

"Hopefully in the next few months, we'll be able to say this, in this song," Mr. Foxx said into the mic. "Come on Quentin, let's go!" he added, before launching into Trinidad James's "All Gold Everything."

http://youtu.be/uR7ONiaBbXg
(Video via Barrett Jones)

After all the talent (and most of the guests) had left, we found Mr. Tarantino holding court in the VIP room of Bungalow 8. Did we need to say something to him about Django? And what was there to say? "We are not sure how to feel about the racial elements of this film?" No, it was 3 a.m., and at a certain point, even the hardest-nosed reporter feels for the guy just trying to relax and have a good time. Instead we asked him about a particular scene, a brief moment when Samuel L. Jackson's character, Stephen, demands that comfort girl Sheba (Nichole Galicia) help make a cup of coffee. It was just half a second of screen time; a subtle, hateful flick of the eyes in an otherwise non-subtle film.

"Wow, yes, we actually had to cut a line of dialogue from that scene!" Mr. Tarantino said. "It was Sheba yelling at Stephen, 'WHO DAT MAKING DAT COFFEE?'" The last line was delivered in a creepily accurate Madea-esque impression at sonic boom levels by Mr. Tarantino. Either the sound or the subject made us half-flinch away.

"They cut it, because they said it was too much," he added sadly.

"Yes, it was, um, more subtle this way," we said, holding our tongue while our tired brain tried to process a response other than, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Because the answer is that he is Quentin Tarantino, that's who he is, and he responded with the fan-boy approval: "You must be really kinda smart to catch all that in just a look." Forget our grievances with the film, our apprehension about the blaxploitation-meets-Sergio Leone buddy comedy tone of it all, our feeling that this seemed racist on so many levels that maybe it wasn't even racist anymore but something else, we don't know: when Quentin Tarantino talks to you about movies, you have no choice but to listen.

Listen and be grateful, because for all his faults, there is no one in the world better to talk about movies with.

Tuesday: 20/20
While you were sleeping, The Blind Side became one of the biggest hits of the entire year. For those of you who haven't seen it yet (or for those of you who want to relive the story from the comfort of your own couch), ABC's 20/20 is offering "the real story" behind the film. So instead of Sandra Bullock's brassy portrayal of Leigh Ann Tuohy, the Tennessean mother who took in a homeless boy and helped turn him into an NFL superstar, you'll get the actual Leigh Ann Tuohy. But don't worry fans, Ms. Bullock and her on-screen husband, Tim McGraw, make appearances as well. Might we suggest having some Kleenex ready? [ABC, 10 p.m.]

Wednesday: Kill Bill Volume 1 & 2
Since the DVD combining both volumes of Kill Bill that Quentin Tarantino has been teasing us with since the release of the first film back in 2003 has yet to materialize, we'll have to settle for this impromptu back-to-back showing on IFC to get our kung-fu fighting fix. For the record, we prefer the crackling part one, which offers some of Mr. Tarantino's most inspired filmmaking, to the more mature and talky part two. And obvious kudos to Uma Thurman, in a performance that was wrongly ignored by Oscar voters, for mixing the vengeful bride with equal parts sass, smarts, pathos, humor and total badassary. That's not a word, but thanks to Ms. Thurman, it should be. [IFC, 8 p.m.]

Thursday: Jersey Shore
We had been reluctant to start watching the latest television lobotomy from MTV, but why fight against something so delectable? Whether or not Jersey Shore is actually real is beside the point. This show—which is quite possibly the beginning of the 2012 apocalypse—is hilarious, ridiculous and impossible to turn away from. Where else can see someone refer to himself as "The Situation" in a serious manner? No doubt as a gift to people like us (think: anti-social), MTV is airing a new episode of this living train wreck on New Year's Eve, meaning we don't have to head out to overpriced bars to encounter loads house music, fist pumping and hair gel. [MTV, 10 p.m.]

Friday: The Twilight Zone
Call us old fashioned, but New Year's Day wouldn't be New Year's Day without a trip into The Twilight Zone. From the ball drop until January 2, SyFy is airing a marathon of the classic series, which means you can dip in and out as you please. However, for those of you looking for some guidance, make sure to check out "Time Enough At Last" (airing at 10:21 p.m.), the old chestnut starring Burgess Meredith, the apocalypse and a pair of fragile reading glasses. Cue the music! [SyFy, all day]

Tuesday: Marley & Me
Get out the Kleenex! With nearly $145 million in domestic grosses, it’s clear that moviegoers shed many tears thanks to this weepy, blonde-highlighted adaptation of John Grogan’s bestseller last Christmas. We’re not here to rain on that parade—after all the dogs are almost as cute as Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston—but rather to marvel at the fact that something so mainstream was co-written for the screen by Don Roos and Scott Frank, the men behind The Opposite of Sex and Out of Sight, respectively. We guess you have to pay the bills somehow, right fellas? [HBO, 9 p.m.]

Wednesday: Miller’s Crossing
The Coen Brothers’ Prohibition-era gangland epic doesn’t have the awards pedigree that Fargo or No Country for Old Men might (staggeringly, it garnered zero nominations back in 1990), but we’ll still go ahead and call Miller’s Crossing their best movie. From the rat-tat-tat script to the impeccable cast (career-best performances from Gabriel Byrne, Albert Finney, Marcia Gay Harden and John Turturro) to Carter Burwell’s hauntingly authentic score, Miller’s Crossing doesn’t let go until the finale. And it actually has a finale! Not that we’re still bitter about No Country for Old Men or anything… [Fox Movie Channel, 8 p.m.]

Thursday: 30 Rock
Does anyone remember laughter? Yes, actually. A funny thing happened in the time that 30 Rock has been off the air between seasons three and four: sitcoms got good again! From Community to Parks & Recreation to Modern Family (though we’re still not sure what everyone sees in this one [Editor's note: we see that it is awesome], it seems like the grasp that Tina Fey’s baby has on the title of “television’s funniest comedy” is under fire. Don’t be too concerned though. With—among other season premiere subplots—Jenna (Jane Krakowski) getting an “image makeover” and Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) leading a page strike, we’re sure 30 Rock will leave us lizzing. [NBC, 9:30 p.m.]

Friday: Ugly Betty
As if you needed more proof that Friday night is where television shows go to die, allow us to introduce you to Southland, which NBC canceled last week before it even aired. Ouch. With that said, we wouldn’t get too attached to Ugly Betty. The series, formerly a hit, switches to Friday nights this season and gives Betty a new look (no braces!). Moves like those are usually steps one and two in the path to cancelation, but maybe Betty will break the trend. Nah, probably not. [ABC, 8 p.m.]

Faced with the start of the NFL season, the VMA’s (like everyone else, we’re on Team Taylor Swift), and, perhaps, a bit of moviegoer ennui, it was another slow weekend at the multiplex. Tyler Perry’s latest film, I Can Do Bad All By Myself, topped all comers with an impressive $24 million, but otherwise it was a mixed bag for the remaining new releases. The “visionary” animated flick 9 placed second with $10.8 million; however, Sorority Row and Whiteout bombed, finishing sixth and seventh respectively, each earning a shade over $5 million. Wake us when the good movies start coming out again. As we do each Monday, here’s a breakdown of the top five at the box office.

1. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself: $24 million ($24 million total)

That Tyler Perry has more number one openings over the last five years (five) than directors like Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay (both with four) speaks to both his prolific output (he’s made eight films over that stretch) and loyal fanbase. Despite the fact most of the people you know never even heard of this film, I Can Do Bad All By Myself was still able to land the seventh biggest September opening in Hollywood history. There is a niche here and Mr. Perry is more than happy to fill it up.

2. 9: $10.8 million ($15.2 million total)

Shane Acker’s apocalyptic animated sci-fi film clearly brought out the geeks in small droves; since opening Wednesday, the Tim Burton executive produced film has grossed $15.2 million. That doesn’t sound like much, but when you realize that Focus Features’s last animated flick—the sleeper 3-D hit Coraline—opened with $16.8 million, this start is more than respectable.

3. Inglourious Basterds: $6.5 million ($104.3 million total)

The reports of Quentin Tarantino’s death were apparently greatly exaggerated. Later this week, Inglourious Basterds will pass Pulp Fiction as the caffeinated director’s highest grossing film. Worldwide, Basterds is nearing $200 million; even with a relatively high price tag it looks like things will still be in the black for The Weinstein Company when all receipts are counted. Also, huzzah to Brad Pitt! The revenge flick is his ninth film to cross the century mark.

4. All About Steve: $5.8 million ($21.8 million total)

How bad were things at the box office over the weekend? Well, All About Steve, with its 6 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, only dropped 48 percent from its opening bow and remained in the top five overall. Welcome to September.

5. The Final Destination: $5.5 million ($58.2 million total)

The ridiculous 3-D horror film, The Final Destination, held off newcomers Sorority Row and Whiteout to finish in fifth place. Now the highest grossing film in the history of the terrible franchise, The Final Destination will most likely breed another film. If you feel like weeping for the nation’s youth, you are more than welcomed to do so. Also, you can't cheat death! 

1. The Final Destination: $28.3 million ($28.3 million total)

You can't cheat death or this franchise! The 3-D showings of The Final Destination accounted for a whopping 70 percent of this number (that’s roughly $20 million if you’re keeping score at home), and they helped make this the biggest opening in the history of the series. Someday historians will look back and wonder how Hollywood milked nine films (and counting) out of both Saw and Final Destination.

2. Inglourious Basterds: $20 million ($73.7 million total)

Even more surprising than last week’s $37 million opening is that Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds held up relatively well in weekend two, shedding a reasonable 49 percent of its audience. Basterds is now the second highest grossing film of QT’s career and could conceivably pass Pulp Fiction in total box office (but not ticket sales) when all is said and done. The power of Brad Pitt knows no bounds.

3. Halloween 2: $17.4 million ($17.4 million total)

This is being called a disappointment, especially in light of the $26.4 million that Rob Zombie’s first resurrection of Halloween grossed on this same weekend in 2007. But why? Halloween 2 performed exactly like a sequel to a movie that people didn’t necessarily want to see in the first place. Obviously, the Weinstein Company isn’t convinced of that though: They’re going to commission a new director for the next entry in the franchise: Halloween—wait for it—3D.

4. District 9: $10.7 million ($90.8 million total)

What is left to say about this late-summer sleeper hit? Off just 41 percent, District 9 continued to perform better than expected and will sail past $100 million sometime next weekend. We can’t wait for the summer of 2011 when The Hangover 2 and District 10 both fail to live up to the lofty heights set by their original models.

5. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra: $8 million ($132.4 million total)

The much-maligned Rise of Cobra dropped a slim 34 percent over the weekend and barely edged out Julie & Julia ($7.3 million/$70.9 million total) to finish fifth overall at the box office. While Paramount is no doubt happy that Stephen Sommers’ film has taken in $256 million worldwide, we’re more excited about the sixth place finisher. With the lowest decline in the top 10—a ridiculously negligible 15 percent—Julie & Julia seems sure to finish with $90 million domestically or higher. It’s official: Meryl Streep has legs and she knows how to use them.

Thanks to Quentin Tarantino, business was a-boomin’ at the box office over the weekend. Inglourious Basterds scalped the rest of the field, pulling down a very impressive $37.6 million, good for not only first place, but also the biggest opening of the acclaimed director’s career. For Mr. Tarantino’s brother-in-arms, Robert Rodriguez, the news wasn’t as celebratory: His kids film, Shorts, landed in sixth place with just $6.6 million. It could have been worse for Mr. Rodriguez, though: The weekend’s other new release, Post Grad, opened in tenth place, with just $2.8 million. As we do each Monday, here’s a breakdown of the top five at the box office.

1. Inglourious Basterds: $37.6 million ($37.6 million total)

Call us Tarantino apologists—and we probably are—but this feels like one of the more impressive bows of the summer. How else to qualify Inglourious Basterds—a R-rated film with a running time north of two and a half hours, and featuring more subtitles than your average trip to Film Forum—grossing more than the openings of Funny People, Public Enemies, Bruno and The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3? Credit for this should probably go to the marketing campaign put together by the Weinstein Company, which sold audiences on a wham-bam revenge flick starring Brad Pitt. That Mr. Pitt only appears in roughly half the film should cause a precipitous drop next weekend, but by then it won’t matter. Basterds is already a winner.

2. District 9: $18.9 million ($73.4 million total)

Cloverfield, this is not. With a better-than-expected 49 percent decline from last weekend, District 9 has reached $73.4 million overall, meaning $100 million is within easy grasp. We wonder if the successes of this and Inglourious Basterds, two critical darlings, have forced certain film critics to rethink their notion that audiences are stupid. …

3. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra: $12.5 million ($120.5 million total)

Um, probably not. Would you believe that not only is Rise of Cobra still raking in the dough—a mere 44 percent depreciation from last weekend—but also that it crossed $120 million domestic and has an outside shot at reaching $200 million overall? Maybe there is something wrong with the viewing public.

4. The Time Traveler’s Wife: $10 million ($37.4 million total)

Fresh off the news that The Time Traveler’s Wife would go to series (thanks, ABC!), the feature film version dipped a reasonable 46 percent during its second weekend and continues to steamroll towards $60 million domestic. With a manageable $40 million budget, it looks like the bottom line of The Time Traveler’s Wife is going to make a lot of people happy, even if the film itself did not.

5. Julie & Julia: $9 million ($59 million total)

With the lowest decline in the top 10—a ridiculously slim 25 percent—Julie & Julia has officially become the leggy hit we envisioned it would be when it opened. The Meryl Streep–Amy Adams paean to cooking and female empowerment has grossed $59 million to date and could conceivably cross $90 million overall with some luck. Plus, the film helped Julia Child get her first New York Times No. 1 best seller over the weekend. Bon appétit, indeed!

The most talked about movie of the weekend won’t actually be coming out for another four months. Between the teaser trailer and the special free IMAX screenings happening tonight, James Cameron’s Avatar has captured everyone’s imagination this week. This is the future, people! Still, if giant blue aliens and computer graphics don’t float your boat, three actual movies hit theaters today. As we do every Friday, here’s a handy guide to the new releases.

Inglourious Basterds

What’s the story: Nearly 15 years in the making—at one point it was rumored that Quentin Tarantino wanted Bruce Willis, Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzengger and Adam Sandler, among others, to appear—Inglourious Basterds (the title is purposely spelled incorrectly) finally hits theaters today, positioned as a summer oasis for film geeks everywhere. Brad Pitt stars, leading “The Basterds” (played by a battalion of not-what-you’d-expect actors, from The Office’s B.J. Novak to Freaks and Geeks star Samm Levine and schlock horror director Eli Roth) on a Grand Guignol trek through World War II, killing Nazi’s with extreme prejudice. The reviews have been fairly great—our own Rex Reed calls it “one whale of a rigorous entertainment”—but we’re kinda surprised everyone is treating Inglourious Basterds like Mr. Tarantino’s cinematic rebirth. Don't call it a comeback, people, he's been here for years!

Who should see it: Jules and Vince.

Shorts

What’s the story: From Mr. Tarantino’s Grindhouse partner, here comes Shorts. Robert Rodriguez directs this tall tale about a group of kids who find a magical, wish-granting space rock. Truth be told, we never even heard of this movie before today, and watching the trailer makes us wonder if the famously lo-fi director actually let his children direct this time around. Even for the young ones, this thing looks odorous.

Who should see it: The kids from Spy Kids.

Post Grad

What’s the story: Rory Gilmore sighting! Alexis Bledel stars as a recent college graduate (hence the title) who is forced to move home with her parents while she looks for a job and a boyfriend. If you’re sitting there thinking that movie about college graduation coming out when college students are headed back to school is a bad idea, you’re not alone. Still, we sorta love the idea of Michael Keaton and Jane Lynch playing Ms. Bledel’s onscreen parents. Hey, it’s August; we’ll take little victories when we can get them.

Who should see it: Lorelai.

And! Expect skateboarding and energy drinks in X-Games 3D: The Movie; Robin Williams stars as The World’s Greatest Dad; and Liam Neeson gets serious in the IRA drama Five Minutes of Heaven.

Like all Quentin Tarantino movies, Inglourious Basterds is exasperating, absurd, cruel, cynical, sneeringly arrogant, racist, elitist, naïvely derivative and viciously funny. It is also one whale of a rigorous entertainment.

The wild plot: In World War II–occupied France, a band of bloodthirsty American Jews form a battalion of renegade guerrilla soldiers without approval or military supervision, dedicated to the merciless torture and death of all Nazis. They don’t take prisoners. They butcher their captives, performing shocking acts of execution, mutilating their corpses and bashing like eggshells the skulls of their victims with baseball bats. Their leader is Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), an Indian from the Smoky Mountains with a rope burn around his neck from a narrow encounter with a hangman’s noose; his specialty is scalping Nazis while they’re still alive—a talent that earns him the nickname “Apache.” Under Apache’s command, the unit’s war crimes escalate, littering the 1941 landscape with more corpses than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and Saving Private Ryan combined. With little attention to narrative detail, the movie suddenly jumps to 1944, and Apache leads the “basterds” to Berlin to blow up a movie house where Hitler, Goebbels, Goering and the entire leadership of the Third Reich are attending the movie premiere of a Nazi war propaganda film during a Leni Riefenstahl film festival. Preposterous, of course, but according to Mr. Tarantino, what more logical way to end the Holocaust than to go up in flames from flammable nitrate film stock in three-strip Technicolor with the cameras rolling? Would you believe the basterds’ chief allies in this big, noisy finale are a revered Marlene Dietrich–style film star and a covert double agent who is really a British film critic with an expertise in German cinema? You gotta love it.

Facetious, and sprawling over two and a half hours, the film is often unintentionally hilarious but, I hastily add, never tedious. Both the German barbarism and the testosterone-infused American brutality are exploitative in styles that borrow freely from every war movie Mr. Tarantino has ever discovered in the video rental shops he calls home. In all of his films, he specializes in exposing, with imagery and well-crafted vignettes, humanity’s capacity for violence and stupidity. But when he’s accused of film school smugness and fractured plagiarism, I can’t entirely disagree. Inspired by everything from the German cinema of Murnau, Pabst and Josef von Sternberg (Emil Jannings even shows up for the premiere!) to Hogan’s Heroes and (most glaringly) Paul Verhoeven’s fabulous Nazi saga The Black Book, Mr. Tarantino borrows and steals so many clichés from other people’s movies that I’m surprised he didn’t throw in the little girl in the red coat from Schindler’s List. A monstre sacré for Gen Xers who like their movies loud, outrageous and obnoxious, Mr. Tarantino is so immune to opinion that he can’t even spell the title right, and nobody challenges him. By the time he gets around to rewriting the end of World War II, his arrogance is positively de rigueur. He’s like an idiot savant.

If you crave Holocaust accuracy, see Heimat or all nine hours of Shoah. If you want the most disgusting, patronizing and manipulatively sentimental crap movie ever made about the subject, revisit Life Is Beautiful. Mr. Tarantino aims for neither end of the scale; as war movies go, this one never rises to the level of Elem Klimov’s 1985 epic tragedy Come and See or sinks to the depths of The Dirty Dozen Hollywood heroics. The important thing to remember is that Inglourious Basterds is in no way intended to be taken seriously—and as pure hokum, it delivers. Mr. Tarantino is pretty generally considered, in serious circles, as a wickedly overrated amateur, but in his defense I admire the way he makes no claim to “art,” so you can’t say he’s pretentious. He’s as self-conscious and referential a movie “fan” as mainstream entertainment can be, which makes him a welcome adversary of the kind of creeping art-house paralysis I generally hate—phony, self-conscious, and booooring! (Lars von Trier, anyone?) His limitations are obvious. He sees everything from the viewpoint of a teenage faux-cool dude, which means his films rarely delve any deeper than juvenile posturing. So, as with Pulp Fiction, he makes Inglourious Basterds stylish and riveting without producing any remotely profound insight. It totally reflects not the age of its setting, but the age that has informed its director—a time of pop videos, Playstations, the Internet, CGI and 24-hour digital TV with ads inserted every eight minutes for bathroom breaks. So expect World War II as seen through an issue of DC Comics. The gung-ho “basterds” are louts who storm the barriers like Hogan’s heroes; the comic-book Nazis are Katzenjammer Kids; and nobody displays much icy wit except for one Nazi colonel who steals the picture. (More about him in the next paragraph.) Among the casting errors, comedian Mike Myers plays a British officer with makeup and prosthetics that render him unrecognizable; the terrific Irish actor Michael Fassbender (devastating in Hunger as Bobby Sands, the IRA prisoner who starved himself to death in prison) plays the undercover movie critic who parachutes behind enemy lines to kill off Der Führer; and a bulbous Rod Taylor makes a guest appearance as Winston Churchill. The dismally miscast Brad Pitt, upstaged by an exaggerated Southern accent that imitates choking on grits and grillades, acts with a grim intensity, like he’s the only one who’s not in on the joke. The film turns ludicrous when he crashes the premiere, festooned with swastikas, pretending to be an Italian extra and sounding like Gomer Pyle.

On the plus side, I was bowled over by Christoph Waltz, a juicy, flamboyant Austrian actor who speaks perfect English, in the unforgettable role of the finger-licking Gestapo Colonel Hans Landa, a combination of every handsome, blue-eyed movie Nazi from Otto Preminger and Helmut Dantine to Ralph Fiennes in Schindler’s List. Passionate about gourmet food and fresh milk, oozing a lethal charm that thinly veils a capacity for murderous outrage, Mr. Waltz emanates such energy and discipline that he’s one 35-millimeter Nazi who deserves an Academy Award. The funniest thing in the movie is his final offer, with the war coming to a disastrous end, to help kill the leaders of the German high command in exchange for the Congressional Medal of Honor, U.S. citizenship and a house in Nantucket.

Mr. Tarantino knows how to frame a scene. The color, movement and sound are as good as in Pulp Fiction, the dialogue is a slight improvement over Reservoir Dogs’ and the scene where the Gestapo invade a French farmhouse to massacre a Jewish family hiding under the floor is better than anything in Kill Bill. World War II was more serious, complex and horrifying than all this comic embellishment, but if I sound critical, I apologize in advance. I had a helluva time watching Inglourious Basterds. It’s as frenzied as a dog in heat. Mr. Tarantino lacks nuance, but he’s an erratic, awkward and often brilliant filmmaker. In time, he might even become a mature one.

rreed@observer.com

It's 2 a.m. and you awake with a jerk, alone in your fully lit apartment and still on the couch. On TV, the credits of some movie you've already seen a billion times are scrolling by. It feels like rock bottom. And we know, because we're just like you: single.

Need a movie to keep you company until you literally can't keep your eyes open? Join us tonight when we pass out to Death Proof [starting @ 11 p.m. on Starz Edge]

Why we’ll try to stay up and watch it: In a Hollywood economic climate where Steven Soderbergh couldn’t get Moneyball made with Brad Pitt and a reasonable budget, you might wonder how Quentin Tarantino still gets funding. Yet here we are just a little over three weeks away from the release of Mr. Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, and the man-child director is still making ambitious art-house parlor tricks wrapped in studio budgets and ad campaigns. And maybe that’s the key to his success: If he can create a movie with enough punchy scenes to allow the marketing department to piece together a kickass trailer, people will show up on opening weekend regardless of what the actual movie plays like. (Beware of those action-packed Inglourious Basterds trailers, which leave out the two and a half talky hours that the script promises.) Which makes us wonder: How much more successful financially would Death Proof have been as a stand-alone “Quentin Tarantino movie” and not as part of the unruly mess that was Grindhouse?

We’ll never know the answer to that, of course, but what we do know is that Death Proof is an outstanding film; a dialogue-heavy throwback filled with virtuoso camera work, sparkling dialogue and a pacing that allows the tension to simmer for quite sometime before the boil over. As is usually the case when dealing with a Quentin Tarantino movie, though, the performances manage to surprise the most. While we love Death Proof for the thrills, the scares and that unbelievable car chase that takes up most of the final act—seriously, awesome—the real treat for us is trying to understand how Mr. Tarantino is able to cull all this tremendous work from such a dissimilar group of thespians, ranging from Kurt Russell to Tracie Thoms to New Zealand stuntwoman Zoe Bell. If the enfant terrible is ostensibly wasting his talent as nothing more than a genre-for-hire filmmaker, then as long as he keeps making things like Death Proof work, we’ll be O.K. with all that waste.

When we’ll probably fall asleep: Of all the Tarantino-ian hallmarks, our favorite might be when he replays the same scene over and over again, each time from a different vantage point. It’s a great way to provide loads of information to the audience, while at the same time taking advantage of the very nature of cinema. So we’ll make it until 11:45 p.m., 45 minutes into the film, when Mr. Tarantino stages a horrific car crash and shows how each passenger met their untimely demise. We don’t know how people keep letting Mr. Tarantino make movies, but we’re sure happy they do.

If a slightly disappointing opening weekend wasn’t bad enough for Brüno, now it looks like even the controversy about Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest prank is smaller than anticipated. As The Hollywood Reporter noted yesterday, the only lawsuit pending against Mr. Cohen—a ridiculous one involving charity bingo and brain bleeds—has been dropped. And while GLAAD is still up in arms about the homophobic messages that the film is sending, their main beef seems to be with the audiences who won’t get such cutting satire. Boring! We want some more ire raised! If Brüno isn’t the controversy magnet of summer ’09, then what will be? Naturally, we’ve got some ideas…

The Ugly Truth

Possible controversy: Meg Ryan sues Katherine Heigl for stealing her signature bit: The restaurant orgasm.

Chances of this happening: 21%. Besides the fact that Ms. Ryan doesn’t really have a case (her's was fake, Ms. Heigl’s is, embarrassingly enough, “real”), we actually don’t think this kind of lawsuit would even be allowed. If it were, every romantic comedy ever would probably be trying to take a piece out of The Ugly Truth.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

Possible controversy: Director Stephen Sommers demands that his name be removed from the credits.

Chances of this happening: 67%. How do you know G.I. Joe is one of the worst movies ever, sight unseen? Well, there is that trailer, which is laughable in all the wrong ways; but more pointedly, there was the whole rumor about how Mr. Sommers was fired from the film because it wasn’t good. Think about that for a second: Paramount hired Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) and then got upset when he gave them a bad movie. Also, water is wet. If we were Mr. Sommers, we’d demand our name removed out of spite. There can be no doubt that he delivered what he was paid for.

Inglourious Basterds

Possible controversy: Irate UFC fans challenge director Quentin Tarantino to a cage fight because of misleading ads.

Chances of this happening: 78%. Having read the script for Mr. Tarantino’s blood-soaked World War II revenge film, we can attest that it’s much more talky than the (admittedly) kick ass new trailer would lead viewers to believe. Of course, don’t tell The Weinstein Company’s marketing department that, as they gave a full push to Inglourious Basterds during the UFC 100 over the weekend. The testosterone heavy crowd might love a two-minute trailer showcasing the film’s violence, but what happens when they go buy a ticket and spend the first twenty-two minutes reading subtitles? Brock Lesnar is not going to be happy with that.