Fashion Week Observed
Entry One: You ever stare into the void? I have seen the finale of thousands of satellite shows and unofficial presentations by the tiniest motes, you wouldn’t even believe…You think you are unique, those girls in the t-shirts with their clipboards will disabuse you of that notion real fast, you’ll be standing on the shore waiting for your water taxi to Brooklyn, but that ship will have sailed, brother. All those people, they’ll be waving at you from the boat, and that boat is the void, and that void is going to Dyggal Greenhouse show without you.
Time to call Uber.
The Christian Science Monitor, a publication not really known for their piercing satirical coverage, was forced to clarify their headline and opener from an article about baby smells.
Nimrod Kamer, he of the fake Obama birth video and Finger Hashtag controversy, is back and better than ever. Last week, Gawker’s John Cooke posted a video “Must-Watch TED Talk On Monetizing Wikipedia,” in which Mr. Kamer discusses his business plan for making money off of lying about celebrities on their Wikis. “You should Wikipedia edit the change you want to see in the world,” Mr. Kamer tells his audience before giving an example involving “fashionista” Derek Blasberg (“He told me he was the voice of his generation. Or a voice of a generation…of the fashion generation,”) and The New York Observer.
Now Mr. Kamer has expanded his “TED(µ)” channel to include far more than just Wiki editing (a service he does, in fact, offer), and gave us an exclusive of Billie JD Porter (host of Channel 4′s The Joy of Teen Sex) performing “an exploratory dance that turns an internet meme phenomena back to its original GIF form.”
Hey there, welcome to New York’s Authentic Sports Club, the first gym that specializes in a truly authentic New York workout. Is this your first time visiting one of our 900 locations citywide? It is? That’s cool. I could tell, because most people who have been in the scene a while know that the best spot is our new pop-up gym in Brooklyn. It doesn’t even have an address, actually. It’s just “the old bread factory” on Foursquare, if you want to check in sometime.
I see that you bought a trial membership from Groupon. Very cool. I know Andrew Mason, actually, he teaches kickboxing at the bread factory location when he’s in town. Sometimes you can find him grabbing a macro-bite with some of the Saturday Night Live cast, or the kids from Gossip Girl. Oh, but let me give you a tour of this place.
This is a work of satire, based on Patrick Stewart’s recent Twitter fights with Time Warner Cable. Only the first two of these tweets were actually sent from the actor’s Twitter account, though we really wish this were his Tumblr.)
Let’s say I have $60 billion in assets, not frozen but liquid. And let’s say that after 42 years of glorious rule and personal enrichment, and a few weeks of pointless, no doubt Western-inspired bloodshed, I decide enough is enough. What if I moved to New York? What could that $60 billion buy me?
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