MacFarlane on the Oscars last night.

Maybe it's because he called Ted "creative, adorable, ingenious and devilishly, thigh-slappingly hilarious," but our own Rex Reed made one for the history books last night by getting his own joke during the Oscar telecast. Host Seth MacFarlane, referencing Mr. Reed's recent controversial review of Melissa McCarthy Identity Thief, told the audiences that "Rex Reed will be out here to review Adele’s performance of 'Skyfall.'"

This line got a huge reaction on Twitter, as it was meant to. But the smartest insight into the joke's not-so-insidiously-clever bait and switch came from Venture Brothers and Henry Fool actor James Urbaniak:

On the other hand, has a critic ever gotten a shout-out from the Academy Awards before?

It goes without saying, Adele put on an incredible performance.

The Best Picture category isn't the only thing that bulked up.

What is it about the Academy Awards? Intellectually, it's hard to muster up that much enthusiasm about who "wore it best" (Ang Lee) or how modest Katniss will be in her acceptance speech, hopefully avoiding a First Wives' Club reference that sounded like she was hating on Meryl Streep this time. And yet ... we still feel compelled to watch. Maybe it's because secretly, deep down, we still find it fascinating that the guy who does the voice of Stewie looks like the host of a reality game show about finding true love by having a dance-off on a stripper pole.

Or maybe it's because we're just suckers, who deep down believe that Beasts of the Southern Wild might still possibly have a chance against Argo or Lincoln.

Come join us, will you, on this the most magical of evenings for producers, people who are married to movie stars, and dress designers? We'll be hosting a live chat below. Just click the big countdown button and you're all set. Got it?

Great.

Seth MacFarlane (Getty Images)

Family Guy creator and Ted director Seth MacFarlane is to host the 2013 Academy Awards, the show's producers have announced via press release. Mr. MacFarlane, who has released an album of standards in addition to his Fox TV comedy and summer movie and recently hosted Saturday Night Live, is known for vocal impersonations and a love of Broadway-style musical numbers.

In recent years, the host's tux at the Oscars has been particularly ill-fitting: last year's announced host, Eddie Murphy, backed away from the ceremony when his preferred producer resigned as well, resulting in Billy Crystal's return from semiretirement. The year before, James Franco and Anne Hathaway, chosen in an attempt to appeal to young people, were seen as a particularly ill-matched duo, while one-time-only hosts like Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock, and Hugh Jackman haunt the 2000s.

Best of luck to the producers: At this year's Emmys, Mr. MacFarlane's microphone cut out as he presented an award. The director quipped that he ought to have expected a flub: he hadn't been to rehearsal.

Seth Macfarlane and Emilia Clarke (Getty Images)

After yesterday's news that smugster Seth MacFarlane has been dating Game of Thrones actress Emilia Clarke for "several months," (according to him) this appeared on our Facebook posting of the item:

At first we thought the person was just making a joke (or an educated guess), but a little research revealed that the second commenter actually works at one of the bars where SNL frequently hosts its after parties. (The Observer has reached out to this source for confirmation, but has yet to hear a response. Stay tuned ...)

So if his (possible) cheating doesn't cement your opinion that Seth MacFarlane is not to be made out with: Remember that the tongue in your mouth is the same tongue that does the Stewie voice for a living.

Emilia Clarke with her new monster. She also has a dragon. (PmC, HBO)

- How did Seth MacFarlane land Game of Thrones’s Emilia Clarke?? Do they not have Saturday Night Live in Qarth? This is truly an upsetting turn of events; at least when he dated Amanda Bynes, one got the sense that they were both awful.

- Jenni "JWoww" Farley got engaged to longtime boyfriend Roger Mathews after he proposed to her while skydiving. Smart move, protecting herself from complete reality-show irrelevancy now that Jersey Shore is ending and Snooki might not come back for their spinoff. JWoww Getting Married, anyone?

- Kevin Smith really wants everyone to know that he has paparazzi. Or at the very least, a personal stalker. No seriously, you guys! He does!
http://youtu.be/aCUeqiKRsaY

- Lindsay Lohan's latest rumored beau, artist Domingo Zapata, is vehemently denying that he's seeing the lung-infected actress. Which really doesn't prove anything, since no one will ever admit to sleeping with Lindsay Lohan, ever again. Plus, he painted her portrait, so they are definitely doing a Leo-and-Jack thing.

Stephen Colbert hangs with New York Cardinal Timothy Nolan (PatrickMcMullan)

- The Amazing Spider-Man's Andrew Garfield and girlfriend Emma Stone managed to turn an invasion on their privacy into a mitzvah when they used a weekend paparazzo swarm to show off handmade cardboard signs for the Worldwide Orphans Foundation and Gilda’s Club of New York City. Hopefully they weren't arrested as OWS protestors.

- Suri Cruise finished her very first week at Avenues, the new private school in NYC. Though "private" is a relative term when there are people waiting in the bushes to take photos of you during snack time.

- Nicki Minaj joined Keith Urban as an American Idol judge, spending her first days on the job fighting with Mariah Carey and beginning New York auditions. That's got to be worth $12 million, right?

- Stephen Colbert joined New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan onstage at Fordham University on Friday, telling the Jesuit school students that despite the flaws in the Roman Catholic hierarchy, he loved his Church, "warts and all." No, he wasn't in character. Stop being so cynical.

- Seth MacFarlane kicked off a "meh" premiere of Saturday Night Live, but maybe that's because his face just looks so damn punchable. The night's best sketch didn't involve the guest star at all, with an Obama-sponsored political ad.

Frank Ocean

Saturday Night Live has announced its bookings for the first three episodes of the new season, and it's a gentlemen's club of sorts. First up is Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane with musical guest Frank Ocean on September 15; following that are Premium Rush actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt and nu-folk band Mumford & Sons on September 22, and James Bond franchise star Daniel Craig with British band Muse on October 6. Muse and Mr. Gordon-Levitt have been on the show once before, both in 2009--the rest are making their debuts. (No word yet on the September 29 show--and the series usually begins its season with four consecutive weeks of new episodes. Maybe they'll find a funny lady!)

Wahlberg and Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) in Ted.

Wonders never cease. Who ever dreamed I could (or would, even on a dare) sit through a two-hour movie about Mark Wahlberg and a talking teddy bear? Or that I would (or could, even at gunpoint) possibly enjoy it so much? But here is Ted—a genre-screwing Donnybrook that defies description and guarantees, I swear, open-mouthed hilarity. It is refreshingly oblivious to the kind of political correctness that is going to be the death of us all. It is rude, raunchy and repellent to the point of almost being a send-up of the Farrelly Brothers, Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler and the rest of the ozone polluters giving movies a bad name. (Address your complaints to the nearest sewer.) It contains dialogue and depicts situations that cannot be described in a family newspaper—including the ones that are read only by the Addams family. It has nudity, profanity and X-rated detritus unsuitable for anyone with an I.Q. of 50. It is also creative, adorable, ingenious and devilishly, thigh-slappingly hilarious. Do not take my pulse. It must be the heat.

Boston, 1985. John Bennett, an unhappy 8-year-old boy and victim of school bullying, gets a teddy bear for Christmas. He kisses it, names it Ted, and vows to love it forever, making only one wish—that Ted could really talk. The next morning, when the neighborhood bullies are busy beating up the Jewish kids on Christmas Day, a miracle has turned Ted into a talking Pooh that becomes a national celebrity and a popular guest on Johnny Carson. Nobody can shut Ted up, including Seth MacFarlane, the multitasking hyphenate power player responsible for the outrageous animated TV sitcom Family Guy. He is the voice of Ted, and this is his feature-film debut as a director. I have never been a fan of the TV show, but among his other talents, Mr. MacFarlane has recently unveiled his secret passion for singing Broadway and movie show tunes and big-band jazz on a sensational new CD that has not left my player long enough to mix a fresh cosmo. His music is good, and there’s plenty of that, too. Whatever else you think of the movie, the soundtrack swings.

But I digress. Twenty-seven years pass, John grows up to be a 35-year-old Mark Wahlberg, and Ted grows up to be a potty-mouthed, pot-smoking, beer-guzzling, woman-chasing reprobate everybody would like to send back to any toy store that will take him. Ted does everything to break up John and his loyal, long-suffering girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis), but John is a grown man who still can’t sleep in a thunderstorm without his stuffed teddy bear. Lori doesn’t get a minute’s peace, even in bed. She even comes home from a lovely romantic anniversary dinner to find Ted entertaining four hookers, one of whom has done something on the living-room floor no maid will clean up. Forced to choose, John moves Ted into his own apartment, but the funny antics (contrived, I admit) are just beginning. A creepy guy with a humongous son who wants Ted for his own kinky nursery games stalks him in an ominous van. “Who was that?” asks John. “That was Sinead O’Connor,” says Ted. “She don’t look so good no more.”

The script bounces off the wall like a rubber Cassius Clay doll, while movie references abound. Ted talks like Little Caesar and takes bubble baths like cigar-smoking Edward G. Robinson. Jousting with sensitive subjects such as minorities and headline tragedies, flaunting convention in a determined effort to offend just about everybody, Ted (as the voice of Seth MacFarlane) mouths insults in the words of Seth MacFarlane (as the voice of Ted). In no time, you can’t tell one from the other. I ended up loving them both. The CGI Ted has digital features that morph into awesome expressions. He can look and act querulous, hurt, sensitive, impish or obnoxious, depending on the line. When the fat psychotic kid pulls his ear off, Ted yells “Back off, Susan Boyle!” But while you roar at Ted’s aside to the audience (“Someone had to go Joan Crawford on that kid!”) you can also feel the “Ouch!” Peace is restored when Lori saves Ted from his kidnappers, and Ted saves Lori from her oversexed boss, an A-hole who collects lurid artifacts like John Lennon’s glasses and Lance Armstrong’s testicles, “freeze-framed and bronzed.” There’s a guest appearance by an aging Sam Jones who played Flash Gordon, a Norah Jones concert where Mr. Wahlberg reverts to his old Marky Mark days and sings “The Love Theme From Octopussy,” and a vicious duck named James Franco. You had to be there.

In fact, most of Ted eludes description, analysis and explanation. You just have to hold onto your own certifiable sense of humor and let Mr. MacFarlane take you where he wants to go. Then get out of the way and enjoy it. Will it make you wince with embarrassment? That’s a promise. Will you also laugh? In double-time, like a Rockette. I don’t want to see a string of sequels about Ted, who has now worn out his welcome, like Bonzo. But one time around this summertime sandbox has left me cooled off, like a hydrant spray in a heat wave, and limp with laughter.

rreed@observer.com

TED

Running Time 106 minutes

Written by Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild

Directed by Seth MacFarlane

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane

3/4

Burger King ads are included at the beginning of the clips in the Seth MacFarlane-signature cartoon style. When a user clicks on the video, the advertiser will pay a fee that will be split between by Mr. MacFarlane, Google, the independent digital production company (Media Rights Capital), and the site or blog hosting the embedded video. Google is trying to allow everyone a piece of the pie (including bloggers) to encourage people to post the video everywhere and increase video take-over of the internet.

Will they succeed? Eh. The clips aren't all that great so far and the cartoon BK King kind of creeps us out. But who knows? New webisodes are added each week, so maybe it'll get better.