But while you're at home making your little nternet jokes, do you know what the cast of Jersey Shore is doing? Riding around on Jet Skis and saving stranded residents, pledging donations to relief organizations, and donating clothes to victims of Sandy.

If you've been keeping up with new mom Snooki's tweets, she and her mother were forced to evacuate their homes, along with Snooki's baby Lorenzo. And yet just yesterday she wrote:
"Cleaning out my closet today to donate clothes and whatever I can to the victims affected by Sandy. I'm coming with clothes!!!"
Today she's moved on to Instagram:

Meanwhile Roger Matthews, the fiancé of JWOWW, spent Wednesday like this:

Vinny has been doing a PSA on MTV about donating to the Red Cross, which aired before last night's episode of Jersey Shore:

And the rest of the cast have been doing their part to parlay their middling amount of fame to help the state rebuild.

Ironically, the Seaside Heights home the cast stayed in for most of the series was unscathed by the hurricane, despite being quite literally on the Jersey Shore.

Snooki, before a baby came out of her (Twitter)

Now that we've had a few days to digest the news that Snooki had a baaaabyyyyy with boyfriend Jionni LaValle, MTV took the opportunity to announce that it is ending Jersey Shore after its sixth season. And like the classy network it is, it had camera crews from her spin-off at the hospital documenting the miracle of life, with her boyfriend filming the whole thing as well, possibly to go on the air at some point.

What did you expect from a network that's still making money off of Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant?

The final season of Jersey Shore will premiere October 4, but if you're worrying that won't fulfill your cravings for over-tanned, over-hyped reality stars with nothing to say and too much air-time to say it in, don't worry! MTV has a lot of planned Jersey Shore bonus features!

From the official announcement:

"Gym, Tan, Look Back" will serve as the capper on a full day of Jersey Shore nostalgia beginning at 11 a.m. ET/PT on September 6 with an awards-themed marathon of Shore episodes, which will include the most iconic moments in the series' history. And then, the cast of the Jersey Shore will gather at the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards Pre-show (airing live at 7 p.m. ET/PT) to discuss the final season from the red carpet.

Additionally, following the season six premiere on October 4, MTV will give viewers bonus programming each week at 11 p.m. ET/PT following the final episodes, from fan-favorite after shows with the cast to the can't miss reunion special and much, much more.

And despite insistence from the network that it won't be capitalizing on the birth of lil' Lorenzo, it did happen to renew Snooki's spin-off, Snooki & JWoWW, for a second season at the beginning of August. Don't worry, it has a response for that as well:

MTV has no current plans for another spinoff featuring Nicole," a network spokesperson tells Examiner.com exclusively. "But we're incredibly excited for the story of Lorenzo's birth to play out on-air during Season Two of Snooki & JWoWW.

See, there isn't going to be a third show about Snooki, but why kill the goose that keeps laying the golden eggs when it already has said goose under contract in Hoboken?

By the way, show of hands: who out there watched the first season of Snooki & JWoWW? Anyone? No? Well, hopefully the baby will fix that.

Snooki (Getty Images)

Fewer fears for reality star Snooki's unborn child: the Jersey Shore cast member is reportedly moving out of the house that serves as staging-ground for the show's drama to live by herself. Though she'll be filming this summer, she'll be living "nearby"--but isn't moving away from the nest, like so many Growing Pains kids "off to college," how characters have long been written off scripted shows? (Not that Jersey Shore's scripted, of course!)

In the most recent case, Mahmoud Abdel-Salam Omar (acronymed MASO in the American press--and by "the American press," we mean us), the former chairman of Egypt's Bank of Alexandria and erstwhile guest in room 1027 at the Pierre was arrested on charges of sexually assaulting a maid. A law enforcement source told The New York Post that the 74-year old Mr. MASO allegedly "gyrated" against the victim. And let's face it, gyrating septuagenarian bankers are generally embarrassing even under circumstances that could be fairly described as consensual--a fact that could easily be deduced from a survey of the over-65 jetsetters who routinely appear in our fine meatpacking district nightclubs.

Mr. MASO's behavior notwithstanding, his predecessor-in-crime (known in the American press as DSK--and by American press, we mean all of it) has acquired, if not a proper sense of embarrassment about his behavior, a sense that media attention should be avoided with the same gusto that female cleaning staffers now avoid DSK. The former I.M.F. chief hired an all-male housekeeping staff at his $50,000 a month Tribeca townhouse, preempting an obvious bad decision that could have been, well, embarrassing.

Also embarrassing? Sending a boudoir cell phone shot of your tumescent boxer briefs to a college student through a public tweet, as Representative Anthony Weiner--or someone posing as him--did Saturday night, sending the media into a frenzy over what was immediately dubbed "Weinergate." Weiner, who we can all agree does not need to give anyone further fodder for dick jokes, has been uncharacteristically cagey about the incident, retaining a lawyer and refusing to answer questions from the press (although he did tell Politico that is was "obvious" his account had been hacked.)

But not everyone's eschewing negative media attention. Snooki (known in the American press as "Snooki") was chastised by the president of the Italian American organization UNICO after a run-in--literally!--with Italian law enforcement officials. "She really is the lowest of the low and will do anything for attention, even hitting a police car," Andre Dimino told RadarOnline.com. "She is our worst ever export and is an embarrassment for Italian Americans and our whole country."

But Italy's not the only Mediterranean country that's feeling embarrassed right now. It was recently revealed that Libya lost $1.3 billion it invested in Goldman Sachs. This should probably be more embarrassing for Goldman Sachs, but sometimes we're not sure bankers are capable of embarrassment. Which would also explain Mr. MASO.

And it may also explain Mayor Michael Bloomberg's seemingly ambivalent reaction to his daughter Georgina's upcoming young adult novel The A Circuit. "I've long been proud of Georgina's accomplishments in and out of the show ring," the mayor told The New York Times. In the novel, a familiar sounding Wall Street billionaire named Rick Aaronson "owns half of New York" and is a father to two daughters, one of whom is an equestrian and the other of whom is an intelligent overachiever. (We're not sure those things are usually mutually exclusive, but we'll just go with it.) As far as we can tell, there's no mention of said billionaire banker gyrating against anyone or anything. Which is a relief. Because that would be embarrassing.

But do you get to have a "sure-to-be mini-bottle laden plane ride?" This is how MTV describes the voyage the cast of "Jersey Shore" will take to Italy, the chosen location for the show's fourth season. There, they will reconnect with their ethic identities, immerse themselves in a foreign culture, get blackout drunk, have sex with each other, flex, study the works of Dante, take in a day of art at the Uffizi gallery, tan until dark orange, and get blackout drunk again.

TMZ ran rumors of the new locale earlier today, and then MTV confirmed it. The release is written with a lot of voice.

While "Jersey Shore" is a popular program internationally, there are bound to be plenty of people oblivious to "The Situation" and his colorful cronies, as well as the circus of debauchery they bring with them to every locale. Who knows how the OGs of Italy will react to our self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes? Luckily, Vinny's got first generation family (wait, there's more of them?!) who'll be nearby to offer up heaps of comfort food and some guidance on the cultural ways of "the beautiful country."

There are obvious Godfather allusions to be made here -- "laying low in the old country," Apollonia, etc -- but this reminds us more of Everything is Illuminated. You think Snooki's read it?

Click for Scandal Report: Champagne Mania Makes for A Boozy Golden Globes

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

But would this tome ever approach completion? Some doubted whether the 22-year-old woman who doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it" could complete an entire work of literature. And what of her past dabbling in the written word? The princess of Poughkeepsie tackled her first book, Nicholas Sparks' Dear John, just last February. Is that really enough preparation, the nonbelievers wondered aloud? When Simon and Schuster announced that it would publish A Shore Thing in early 2011, the naysayers were forced to wait and see.

Now we have the answer. A Shore Thing has fulfilled the presumptuousness of its terrible punning and materialized, against all odds. It'll hit shelves later this week, but to tide you over until then, let's make our way to the excerpts nabbed by the New York Post.

"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."

"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."

And then a touching little revelation:

"I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk."

The prose is rough, perhaps, but these small samples reveal that the Snooki character can indeed be translated to the printed page. And, if you want to join the new author on her first-ever visit to the foreign world of the bookstore, make sure you catch her at a book signing.

Click for What Twitter Taught Us: Cory Booker Tweets His Way to a Snow-less Newark>>

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

The inaugural post is called "First blog!!" We'll give it to you unabridged.

Hiiii everyone! I’ve been waiting so long to put a blog and finally got it up! First off I want to say Thank you sososo much to all the snooki supporters out there! I have the best fans Ever and I love you guys to death! Thank you for making Jersey Shore such a success and standing by me always! Means a lot! This past year has legit been a blessing and I’m so greatful for all the opportunities that have come my way! I have a great team that’s helping me to “snook-afie” all of my fans, which include my snooki slippers (Snookislippers.com) and my book coming out in january ! I also have a ton more to come in the future and I’m very happy that you guys are so supportive and loving my brands! So stay tuned to this blog which I will try and update twice a week to keep intouch with yous guys! I love you always and thank you for your love! Snooki Revolution !! Love always,

                 Nicole :) xox

This is going to be so, so much fun. Insta-follow.

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

What Twitter Taught Us: Snooki's Going Down With the Dropping Ball

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

Teen blogger Tavi wrote a screenplay about mutants that has been made into a short film by filmmaker Alia Raza, starring Julia Restoin-Roitfeld, the daughter of French Vogue editor Carine. Got that? [Racked] 

The New York Times asks Olivier Theyskens what would happen if Chanel came calling: "This is the question that I hear for 10 years." [On the Runway]

Behold, Snooki's Halloween costume: "A fringed bustier dress covered in green, pickle-shaped sequins and a light-up scepter in the shape of a pickle." [WWD]

- Uh oh. Someone found a live bug crawling out of her wrap from Chop't. Gross. Photo included. BUT WE LOVE CHOP'T. Dilemma.

- Thank God! Snooki got a book deal. She says she's only read Dear John and Twilight. If she writes a Nicholas Sparks style vampire-meets-Guidette story, all will be right in the world. 

- James O'Keefe's partner "explains" their prank. He says Boudreau "is a hard-boiled reporter — she's capable of handling her own." Yeah, you're missing the point, buddy.

- Things you need: Steampunk iPhone!