Good luck looking like Winona while guzzling Big Gulps.

As Mayor Bloomberg courted the wrath of the beverage industry yesterday by reminding them all how poor they were in comparison with him, New Yorkers trembled their mighty stomachs in fear that the new ban on sugary drinks over 16 ounces would ruin their hard-drinking soda ways in movie theaters and fast food outlets.

But even Bloomberg's far-reaching proposals couldn't touch the most sacred of all distended cup sizes: 7-11's Big Gulp.

Despite the nickname "Big-Gulp Ban," it turns out the Board of Health's 8-0 vote to pass it doesn't extend to actual 7-11 Big Gulps or even Double Big Gulps, which are 64 ounces and are monstrosities that laugh in the face of God. This is because only restaurants are regulated by state law, and "restaurants" are defined as "deriving less than 50% of their revenue from prepared foods," though movie theaters and sports arenas are also subject to the ban.

Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts are also not subject to the new regulations that will go in effect next year, because their drinks contain dairy.

Too big to gulp.

It may have some big signs, but the Barclays Center will not have big sodas. Following the approval of the Big Sugary Beverage Ban today, Bruce Ratner announced that his new Brooklyn arena would be voluntary complying with the rule.

“As the newest sports and entertainment venue in Brooklyn, Barclays Center is thrilled to work with the Mayor and the city to help achieve the mayor's public health goals,” Mr. Ratner said in a statement put out by the mayor's office. “New York City has set a standard for the country and the world when it comes to public health and we are very proud to be the first to adopt the standards for sugary beverages in our new venue.”

So far the biggest drinking controversy at the arena has been over how late it would be serving alcohol until (a state panel settled on 1 a.m., an hour earlier than the arena wanted but hours after neighbors had prayed for). The size of alcoholic beverages will not be impacted, which is really all most sports fans care about, though there have been rumors that is where the mayor will turn his attention to next.

"I raise a 16 ounce cup and toast Barclays for joining us today and implementing this plan 6 months ahead of schedule," Mayor Bloomberg said. "This is a game-changing vote and the new Barclays Center is on the winning side.”

Still, what of the poor Justin Bieber fans who will have to shell out repeatedly to slake their thirst during the pop stars upcoming concerts?

"What’re they going to tell us next? Are they going to get in the bedroom?” asked 19-year-old Zach Huff. The spokesperson for NYC Liberty HQ, barely tall enough to reach the microphone, was cheekily addressing a small group of rather tame demonstrators amassed in front of City Hall Monday for the Million Big Gulp March, a rally protesting Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s proposed ban on large sodas.

If passed, the ban would prevent restaurants, delis, movie theaters and street carts from selling sugar-laden drinks that exceed 16 ounces. The protesters were, in a sense, advocating on behalf of beverages that contain 25 percent of one’s recommended daily caloric intake.

We stood waiting for some small eruption of jeering or whistling from the crowd in reaction to Mr. Huff’s aside. Nothing. Perhaps the lackluster response was a result of his bizarre logic leap from soda ban to bedroom play. Or maybe he hadn’t quite lowered the microphone enough to be heard above the slurping.

Andrea Herbert, a protestor from Midtown Manhattan, stood cornered by a media frenzy. (There were easily five reporters for every protestor.) She cradled a Super Big Gulp brimming with 40 ounces of blue Gatorade and a makeshift sign that read “Nanny Bloomberg: Stay out of our kitchens.”

Ms. Herbert told The Observer she fears the ban is a precursor to future food bans and an infringement on civil liberty.

“I understand that after this [Mr. Bloomberg] is going after popcorn, then Starbucks,” Ms. Herbert said, expressing genuine concern over the impending demise of all sugar- and butter-laden snacks.

We shifted our attention toward the voice of Queens councilman and Republican congressional candidate Dan Halloran, who was accompanied by two young women outfitted in soda cup costumes that read “One small sip for man … one Big Gulp for mankind.”

Mr. Halloran, with his flashy propaganda in tow, had his audience jeering the ban in minutes, imparting on the crowd his sound reasoning for protesting.

“When the mayor went after salt, nobody said anything,” Mr. Halloran bellowed to the crowd, evoking (perhaps unintentionally) Martin Niemöller’s excoriation of Germany’s failure to halt the Nazis’ rise to power. “When the mayor went after MSG, everyone was quiet. When the mayor required us to post the information about the calorie counts in everything, no one said a word. When we banned smoking inside restaurants, everyone said, ‘Hey, it’s fine. Well, today, it’s your soda,” he concluded.

His reasoning echoed in the testimonial of Audrey Silk, founder of CLASH, a smoker advocacy group.

“How soon until you can’t have that soda or burger standing outside—just like they don’t let smokers have a cigarette—because they say it’ll teach children the wrong message?” Ms. Silk questioned the audience, some of whom were murmuring about her smoker’s rasp.

Despite all the circular reasoning, the crowd seemed ever firm in mitigating the ban, claiming a breach of personal rights and emphasizing Bloomberg’s tendency to focus on frivolous causes in lieu of a grander picture.

We sauntered over to Jim Lesczynski, a protestor toting around the most discernible activist prop at the rally—his three children, each with a Big Gulp in hand.

“I think it makes a statement that people are able to give their children a treat,” Mr. Lesczynksi told The Observer regarding his decision to include his children in the rally.

“And he’s picking us up from camp!” his youngest daughter offered helpfully before taking a swig of Hawaiian Punch.

(Tim Sloan/Getty Images)

Drink up, New York. It’s 7-Eleven’s 85^th birthday and people have poured into stores all around the city to show their appreciation (or to escape this summer's perpetual heat wave).

Today, the chain cleverly holds true to its name as it offers free 7.11 oz Slurpees—its signature drink that celebrates its own 45^th birthday this year as well—from the hours of 11 am to 7 pm at select locations. The store plans to give out 7 million cups of the sugary slush, according to its website.

As a guy in front of us lapsed into a coughing fit the moment he slurped his drink, his friend joked: “Must be a strong one, man.” All customers seemed in high spirits—who doesn’t love free stuff?

Amidst the high spirits, though, one can’t help but think of the Bloomberg soda ban proposal and its opponents that protested earlier this week in the ‘Million Big Gulp March’ at City Hall Park (the Big Gulp is another one of 7-Eleven’s signature drinks).

Although the march was named for the chain’s staple beverage, if passed, the Big Gulp would be exempt from the soda ban, considering that the proposal is only geared towards “restaurants, delis, movie theaters, street carts and concessions sold at New York City sports venues,” CBS reported in June. (7-eleven is considered a convenience store, and thus not included in the ban.)

Signs with the phrase “My body, my choice,” among many others, were present at the small march on Monday, symbolizing New Yorkers’ opposition to the imposition on their freedom of choice that the ban would employ.

Even though today’s free Slurpees are under 16 oz—the ban’s maximum size for sugary drinks—and are also advertised only as an offering of celebration, the distribution of free Slurpees may hold a slightly different connotation this year than it has in previous years.

As 7-Eleven goer Brad received his drink, he raised it in a toasting gesture and said with a wink, “It’s funny, [the free Slurpees] are kinda a slap in the face to Bloomberg.”

(Getty Images)

We hate to admit it but what if Mayor Bloomberg is right? The smoking ban, the bike lanes, the soda ban, the mass force-feeding of cruciferous veggies—all of it may already be making us healthier.

The Lancet has provided a shot in the arm to the mayor's efforts to control every aspect of his constituents' lives. New research published in British medical journal indicates that New York City’s life expectancy rate is rising faster than anywhere else in the United States. Between 1987 and 2009, Manhattan’s life expectancy rose by 10 years, the largest increase of any county, and New York’s other four boroughs were all in the top percentile.

Manhattan’s city dwellers can now expect to live until 82, an age three years higher than the national average and the same average as Japan, the nation with the world’s highest life expectancy rate.

The report’s lead researcher, Ali Mokdad, said he largely attributes the change to the New York City health department’s crackdown on unhealthy behaviors.

“The health department mandated calorie labels for food sold in chain restaurants and banned trans fats,” researchers stated in the report. “It prohibited smoking in public spaces and ratcheted up taxes on cigarettes. It rolled out hundreds of miles of new bicycle lanes and papered subways with information campaigns about the risks of obesity and the benefits of preventive health services.”

As most New Yorkers are aware, this report has been published at a time when the city is considering further health regulation with the partial ban of large servings of sugary drinks.

“For way too long, public health departments have defined their responsibilities as essentially infectious disease control rather than improvement of health of the population,” Health Commissioner Thomas Farley told the Lancet. The scourges of New York City in the 21st century are tobacco and poor nutrition and inactivity, he added, so the health department has made them their new focus. “It's not a given that we're going to continue to have high rates of smoking and high rates of [non-communicable] diseases; those are as preventable as infectious diseases were 150 years ago.”