Roberta Flack. (Getty Images)

Wednesday, July 27

Clay Date

Summer’s caught up with us—and we know, we complain about it every week, but the aggregate effect of sweating this much packs a more crippling punch than Wendi Murdoch! We find ourselves regressing to childhood: leaning hard on the chocolate-frozen yogurt handle at 16 Handles, wearing shoes made of flimsy rubber and schoolboyish shorts, experiencing a surfeit of emotional lability (glee when we find shade or a seat on the subway, suicidal rage at all other times). Summer makes kids of us all! We may as well drop in on RH Gallery’s no-kids-allowed Clay Party, an arts-and-crafts shindig in celebration of the gallery’s more serious concurrent shows, “Pure Clay,” featuring Korean minimalist Lee Ufan (whose work is also in the Guggenheim right now—what a summer for this guy!), and “Contemporary Clay,” a group show featuring Kathy Butterly’s so-called “sexy cups.” They’re misshapen and intriguing and reminiscent of sex organs—and feel free to make your own at tonight’s party, at which wine and delectibles will be served. Bring a toothbrush or some dental floss—no, we’re not kidding!—to carve out your own masterpiece and pretend you’re at summer camp. (If the heat hasn’t rendered your intellect childlike already, try another glass of wine!)

Clay Party at RH Gallery, 137 Duane Street, RSVP for tickets at gallery@rhgallery.com or call (646) 490-6355.

Thursday, July 28

Visiting the Goon Squad

We didn’t establish ourselves as great artists at the Clay Party last night—our sculpture was more “conceptual” than “formal.” But after a day spent driving out East, we’re more eager to indulge our childish sides than to think about artistic endeavors. What a relief that the artist John Codling—formerly a big-deal Wall Street type who now makes celebrity-inspired multimedia work—is hosting a movie night at the Waasteria Gallery. His multimedia art show there, inspired by Jay-Z, won’t distract our attention from The Goonies (a kids’ movie, for adult attendees, to raise money for Solving Kids Cancer). It’s a collision of artsy pretension and Hollywood cheese even weirder than the paintings of Christopher Walken that launched Mr. Codling to fame. The Goonies! Really, it’s as though he knew precisely the mood we were in—to think about nothing! A few more weeks of regression and we’ll either be cured and ready to take on Proust—or playing with coloring books.

John Codling’s show “Me I Play” closes tomorrow at the Waasteria Gallery, 77 Industrial Road (Wainscott), and the screening takes place at 8pm with pizza, tacos, ice cream, beer, wine, and popcorn, 8pm, visit http://www.eventbrite.com/event/1848957281 for tickets.

Friday, July 29

Photo, Synthesis

Okay, we’ve recovered—and we’re ready to take intellectual matters a teensy bit seriously. Of course, we’re also still in the Hamptons, so art’s best served with cocktails and canapés—as at tonight’s opening reception for Terri Gold and Steve Miller’s exhibition, “Planet.” Ms. Gold photographs shamanistic, spiritual elements of disappearing cultures, while Mr. Miller himself is showing X-rays of exotic flora and fauna (we’re sure he tried to find a life form in the Hamptons to X-ray, but a picture of our rosé-swollen insides wouldn’t sell many prints). “You’ve got an educated audience interested in these issues … and you’ve got people who can afford art out there!” says Mr. Miller, who shows around the world but lives part-time out East. Catch them while you can—this show’s running through July 31, and Mr. Miller’s jetting off later this year to present a print of a python’s X-ray to a zoo director in Brazil.

4 North Main Gallery, 4 North Main Street (Southampton), 5pm-8pm, visit 4northmaingallery for information.

Saturday, July 30

Save Some for the Fishes

Newly-minted CSI star Ted Danson is to attend a party in honor of Oceana, the save-the-fish charity that reminds you that just because you love ahi doesn’t mean you can feel good about eating it … We’re dragging our heels about attending, but only since we know that all the consciousness-raising going on will give us pause about dining on our favorite summer repasts: shrimp cocktail and oysters. Speaking of those aquatic treats, visitors to midtown’s egregiously casino-themed eatery Lavo may partake in both at the “bikini brunch,” ginned up for those who can’t quite make it out East. Men must wear shirts, while women are quite encouraged to wear bikinis. It’s just like you’re at the beach! Actually, wait, it’s more like you’re waiting tables at Hooters, but paying instead of getting paid.

Oceana Hamptons Splash Party, a private home in Southampton, 7:30pm, for tickets visit oceanasplashparty.org; Lavo, 39 East 58th Street, bikini brunch begins at 2pm, call (212) 750-5588 for reservations. Sunday, July 31

Lord Styron

Though in life William Styron was known to prefer the relative isolation of Martha’s Vineyard (we said, “relative”!), his work remains the perfect beach read for the Hamptons as well: nothing’s quite so bracing a corrective to an afternoon of sitting by the pool and an evening of parties as reading something grim and knowing like Lie Down in Darkness. Anyway, Georgica Beach at midday can be crushingly depressing. Styron had a difficult time negotiating literary fame, though his daughter seems perhaps less conflicted: Alexandra Styron mined her childhood for intriguing and enlightening anecdotes and insights, which she crafted into the memoir Reading My Father. Tonight she’s reading at the Quogue Public Library. (And boy, does she know how to do a summer reading schedule—she was in Vineyard Haven a few weeks ago and East Hampton last night.) There’s no choice in the matter—we’re going to check it out.

Quogue Public Library, 90 Quogue Street (Quogue), 5pm

Monday, August 1

Flack Attack

Were you wondering what’s going on with Roberta Flack? Question answered: per her website, she’s currently at work on an album of Beatles covers. If you’d like to see her in the flesh and maybe try to get her to sing a few bars of “Killing Me Softly With His Song” (or perhaps “Octopus’s Garden”), drop in on the enthusiastically named Bright Lights! Shining Stars! gala, an event in support of the NYC Dance Alliance Foundation and its college scholarships. Ms. Flack is to accept the Ambassador for the Arts Award, a fitting prize for someone bringing new attention to little-known British pop music. The guests include wee Tade Biesinger—a preteen NYC Dance alum who’s now known for Billy Elliot, and Tony-winning choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler, who’ll be reunited with his In the Heights writer Lin-Manuel Miranda, one of the guests of honor. All these months later, we can finally feel good about supporting youth dance without fearing we’re sending youths into a future of Black Swan psychosis!

Skirball Center for the Performing Arts, 566 LaGuardia Place, cocktails at 6pm, awards and performances at 7:30pm with dessert and Champagne to follow, call (855) 692-5678 or visit nycdance.com for tickets.

Tuesday, August 2

Today’s Special

Some causes—like youth dance or the career rehabilitation of Roberta Flack—are simply unimpeachable. That may help explain why the host committee for tonight’s fund-raiser to benefit the Special Olympics, the Special Olympics Junior Committee Summer Social, is so gloriously lengthy: 28 do-gooders, as well as 47 on the junior committee. The host committee includes well-connected model Lauren Bush, her sister Ashley Bush, someone else’s sister Dabney Mercer, and roman á cleffer Anisha Lakhani. The evening of drinks goes down on the Hudson Terrace, on the far West Side—we’ll see you there, along with all of our nearest and dearest social friends!

Hudson Terrace, 621 West 46th Street, 7:30pm, visit http://summersocial.kintera.org/ for tickets and more information.

Wednesday, August 3

Kids Stay in the Picture

Remember how we could bring ourselves to support youth dance only  grudgingly? (Those Black Swan emotional scars, embedded with feathers, run deep.) Well, we’re yet more willing to support the artistic endeavours of youth when it comes to the performing-arts camp that produced Natalie Portman (her characters may be crazy, but boy, does she seem sane!) and Mariah Carey (well, Ms. Portman’s sane enough for both). The Oscar winner and the rainbow enthusiast both attended day camp at Long Island’s Usdan Center, which buses in artsy kids from the city. Tonight it holds a fund-raising gala. Current campers take the stage to perform with the Met soprano Monica Yunus—boy, are we jealous! Back when we were kids, all we did was make sloppy pottery and watch The Goonies. In fact, that’s all we’ve done this week!

185 Colonial Springs Road (Wheatley Heights), dinner at 5pm and concert at 7pm, for tickets write to gala@usdan.com or call (631) 643-7900.

ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

He got off to a rough start. As Mr. Danson began his testimony, the microphone didn't seem to be picking him up. "Mr.—Mr. Danson, let’s get your mic on?" Senator Ron Wyden, the Oregon democrat, cut in.

"Push!" said Mr. Danson, noticing the instructions on the little microphone box in front of him.

"There you are," said Senator Wyden.

"Ah," Mr. Danson sighed, "the old follow the directions."

Things got better from there. According to prepared testimony, this is how he was supposed to begin: "I've been working on ocean issues for more than 20 years. My interest started when one day, I decided to take my daughters—who were 4 and 8 years old at the time—to go swimming at the beach in Southern California. We were ready to go and running toward the water, but were stopped by a sign that said 'no swimming, ocean polluted.' My girls couldn’t believe it and neither could I. The ocean was closed. They asked me why, why can’t we go swimming—in this beautiful, seemingly very healthy-looking ocean? So in the late 80s, I co-founded the American Oceans Campaign."

But the actor ad-libbed! "My daughters asked me why," he told the committee. "And I had no idea. How could something so vast, so large, have a problem? So I started asking questions, and one thing led to another." It wasn't as good as, "Regret, to me, means something you feel you did wrong. And I don’t have that," but it was something.

With all that being said, however, we were still able to find ten favorites—it was just a bit harder than it looks. Here's our list of the best television offerings from 2009.

#10: "I'm On a Boat," Saturday Night Live

There have been more popular Digital Shorts produced by The Lonely Island—"Dick in a Box," "Motherlover," and "Jizz in my Pants" come to mind—but, for us, none top the unbridled joy of "I'm On a Boat." Besides the fact that it's hilarious, catchy and has T-Pain on backup vocals, "Boat"—which debuted during the February 7th edition of Saturday Night Live—has the temerity to name check Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Garnett and Poseidon in its lyrics. We don't want to sound obsessive, but there's a good chance we watched "I'm On a Boat" five times over the course of this paragraph.

#9: Bored to Death

Proof that sometimes all you need is chemistry. With its trendy locales and hipster slant, Bored to Death should have been the twee-pocalypse. But because of Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson and 2009 Breakout Star of the Year^TM Zack Galifianakis—all three giving award-worthy performances—Jonathan Ames' soft-boiled detective series overcame the flaws inherent in its premise.

#8: Desperate Housewives

Sometimes it feels like we're the only ones still watching Desperate Housewives. That's a shame because the soap opera continues to offer audiences deliciously twisted cliffhangers—witness the fall finale's plane crash—and Eva Longoria-Parker, who might be the funniest actress on television.

#7: Party Down

A closer sister to the British version of The Office than its American counterpoint, Party Down was, at times, too much like Ricky Gervais' iconic series. But it hit all the right notes of awkward poignancy and, thanks to Adam Scott's beyond deadpan delivery, managed to get some of the unctuous contempt right as well.

#6: Community

We'll say it: Community has the best chance of any comedy currently on television to become the next Arrested Development. It won't, of course—except for maybe the cancelation part—but there are moments when this show is that funny. Why aren't you watching it again?

#5: 30 Rock

When it comes to 30 Rock, the perfect is the enemy of the good. If Tina Fey's hilarious funhouse of television satire doesn't give us the best episode ever, we get antsy and start writing e-mails to friends that begin with "30 Rock isn't funny anymore!"  But, then an episode like "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001" happens and reminds us that no other show can make us laugh as hard or as loud (just ask our neighbors). So all you haters: sit back, relax and smile... with your mouth.

#4: Glee

Nothing on Glee should work: it's corny, silly, and obvious and features so many hateful characters that you might need an attendance sheet to keep up. That it does work, however, is a credit to both creator Ryan Murphy and the cast, which is top-to-bottom amazing beyond Jane Lynch's already iconic performance as Sue Sylvester. As an added bonus: Glee's fall finale was one of the best episodes of any show this year.

#3: Chuck

The show that lived only so television critics could feel good about themselves! Chuck was famously on the bubble for much of its second season only to be given a last minute reprieve that may or may not wind up serving the better angels of the series itself. Put us in the camp that Chuck should have ended after a near-perfect second season that was filled with enough unrequited love, geeky references and super-spy intrigue to last a lifetime.

#2: The Office

At this point, calling The Office "a comedy" is probably a bit misleading. Much has been written about how this season has been more depressing than seasons past, but, while true, this turn has just made everything feel more legitimate. These are depressing times, people! The tone aside, has any series ever so effortlessly found ways to use its ever-growing cast of characters? Witness Andy and Erin (Ed Helms and Ellie Kemper as the uncool versions of Jim and Pam), who have gone from also-rans to the MVPs of Dunder-Mifflin in just one season. Well into season six, the most striking thing about The Office is that it manages to keep getting better. 

#1: Mad Men

If a top-ten list exists without Mad Men ranked first, does it cease to be a top-ten list? When it comes to Mad Men, there isn't much left to say—how many times can you read about Jon Hamm's brilliance or the show's impeccable writing without going cross-eyed—except for the simple truth that Matthew Weiner has even outdone his mentor David Chase. The third season of Mad Men was better than any season of The Sopranos. There is currently nothing even close to this good on television.

Tuesday: Doubt
We've gotten to the point with Meryl Streep that whenever she appears on screen, Oscar nominations follow. In fact, expect her to garner number 16 for either Julie & Julia or It's Complicated early next year. Obviously, she was tabbed for Doubt, since her showy role as Sister Aloysius Beauvier was practically tailor-made for awards-consideration. But, would it be blasphemy to say she delivers the fourth best performance here? Her scenery chewing is no-match for the nuanced work of Amy Adams, Viola Davis and, of course, Philip Seymour Hoffman. And, frankly, whenever we get to the point that Mr. Hoffman starts getting Oscar nominations for simply appearing on the call sheet, we'll be happy campers. [Starz, 2:05 p.m.]

Wednesday: Notorious
And you wonder why theaters owners are angry with movie studios. Notorious (not the Alfred Hitchcock classic) was released back on January 16 and it's already airing on cable. We remember when it was two years before we could watch new movies on our couch, now it happens in a matter of months! Regardless, the surprise of Notorious—a boilerplate biopic about the life and death of Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace—is that despite many flaws and utter predictability, it's a blast to watch. Of course the performances are, en masse, ridiculous (kudos to Derek Luke for keeping a straight face while reading his lines as Puff Daddy), but director George Tillman Jr. more than makes up for that fact by keeping the soundtrack humming and the nostalgia pitched just right. Dare we say: this was one of the more satisfying movies we've seen this year. [Cinemax, 10 p.m.]

Thursday: The Squid and The Whale
After spending Thanksgiving with your crazy family, don't you want to indulge in some schadenfreude for dessert? Noah Baumbach's semi-autobiographical indie features such maddening family drama (mostly courtesy of Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney as the most passive aggressive parents this side of Williamsburg) that you'll forget any cutting remarks from your own parents by the time the credits roll. Of course, The Squid and The Whale works as more than just a therapy session; Mr. Daniels and Ms. Linney are fantastic and Jesse Eisenberg's performance proves that he was doing Michael Cera's shtick before Michael Cera became Michael Cera. [Sundance, 10 p.m.]

Friday: Bored to Death
Because it wouldn't be a holiday without a marathon, we'll happily plop down in front of the television for four hours on Black Friday to watch the first season of Bored to Death. We've highlighted this show before, but if you gave up on the comedy series—ostensibly about a hipster-turned-private detective (Jason Schwartzman, perfection) and his wacky adventures—you missed its transformation into one of the funniest shows on television. The later episodes of season one, free from the gimmicky premise, are quite hilarious; an amalgam of fantastic guest appearances (kudos to John Hodgman and Jenny Slate) and riveting supporting turns from Ted Danson and Zack Galifianakis. In a just world, the Emmy race for Best Supporting Actor in 2010 will come down to one of these two, and by a nose, we'd take Mr. Galifianakis. Between Bored to Death, The Hangover, his upcoming appearance in Up in the Air, and, yeah, even G-Force (that thing made bank), did anyone have a better 2009 than the hirsute funnyman? We don't think so. [HBO2, starting at 9 p.m.]

Since Sunday nights are so crowded, you’ve probably let Bored to Death slip through the cracks. Good thing then for DVR and Monday night rebroadcasts! The HBO comedy, about a Brooklyn novelist-turned-private eye isn’t necessarily the funniest new show of the fall—that would be Community [Editor's note: Modern Family!]—but it’s certainly one of the most likeable. Blessed with a brilliant cast (Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, and Zack Galifianakis) and razor sharp writing (courtesy of novelist and creator Jonathan Ames), Bored to Death is a series you really ought to be watching… if you could only find room in your schedule. [HBO2, 9:30 p.m.]

Tuesday: Slumdog Millionaire
We’re not sure what’s more surprising: that Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture or that it’s already airing on cable. The Little Movie That Did was (in our humble opinion) the most over-rated and undeserving Academy Award winner since Crash, however that doesn’t mean there aren’t riches to behold within. Come for the paint-by-numbers-yet-crowd-pleasing story that can manipulate even the most hardened skeptic; stay for the closing dance number, which ranks as one of the most jubilant moments from last year. [HBO, 9 p.m.]

Wednesday: Beetlejuice
Halloween is still a couple of weeks away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a jump on the season with some classic Tim Burton-lead weirdness. Beetlejuice is that rare commodity: a great movie from our childhood that remains great to this day. We have Michael Keaton to thank for that, of course. He’s so caustic, angry and fantastic in the titular role, that we wish he would come out of whatever Witness Protection Program he’s been hiding in for the past few years. [ABC Family, 8 p.m.]

Thursday: Parks and Recreation
For those of you who stuck with Parks and Recreation after a lackluster first season, you’ve been rewarded during season two. Everything about the show—from the writing to the performances—has gotten exponentially better. The key has been distancing the proceedings from The Office in both tone and execution, while simultaneously allowing the fantastic cast a chance to breathe. And, oh what a cast! We’d put Amy Poehler, Aziz Ansari, Rashida Jones, Paul Schneider, Nick Offerman and Aubrey Plaza up against the denizens of Dunder Mifflin and 30 Rockefeller Plaza any day of the week and twice on Thursday. [NBC, 8:30 p.m.]

Friday: Defending Your Life
You might not think that Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep would have great chemistry together, but that just means you probably haven’t seen Defending Your Life. Mr. Brooks’ ode to the afterlife is a twisted little sweet-and-sour romantic comedy made all the better because Ms. Streep has an absolute ball playing the pinnacle of shiksa perfection. If you’ve always thought Mr. Brooks was like a sunnier version of Woody Allen, Defending Your Life will do nothing to dissuade you from that opinion. [Starz, 9:25 a.m.]

New York Ranger Brandon Dubinsky was among the earliest arrivals, looking as clean and eager as if en route to an ocean-themed high-school prom. [corrected]

Did he know what World Oceans Day was? “Sort of,” Mr. Dubinksy said. “I guess if there was an ocean, I’d go jump in it.”

The Real Housewives, meanwhile, wore, their environmental awareness on their sleeves. “An ocean-blue dress, for tonight,” said Ramona Singer (of New York), in David Meister. Ms. Singer also noted the skin-care value of algae. Danielle Staub (of New Jersey) called her BCBG dress “water friendly.” Meditation is her favorite seaside experience: “You can go and be alone with your thoughts, and as the tides go out, it washes away the negative,” Ms. Staub said. “It’s really my euphoria.”

Scheduled to sing later in the festivities, performer Estelle rolled up to the eco-benefit in an unpolitically correct SUV. She said she’d recently been in Aruba. “So good.” Eat any jellyfish? “I’m just now getting into calamari!” Burp.

Actor Ted Danson, founder of American Oceans Campaign, was stuck on the set of HBO’s Bored to Death and didn’t show, but model Amber Valetta, the event’s co-host, ably wore the mantle of activist celebrity. A longtime surfer, she recommended honoring World Oceans Day by taking a swim.

We've already looked at the Supporting Actresses. Now it's time for the Supporting Actors.

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Kevin Dillon, Entourage; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Rainn Wilson, The Office

Who we're pulling for: To what is surely the consternation of our Culture Czar colleagues, we don't watch nearly enough of How I Met Your Mother. It just gets lost in the clutter on Monday nights: Gossip Girl, Chuck... um, Prison Break (shhh, don't tell anybody about that last one). Still, from what we have seen of the show, Neil Patrick Harris rips into his role with a comic gusto that the other actors in this category either could never even think of having (Jon Cryer) or lost somewhere along the way (Jeremy Piven). Plus, he's NPH! That dude rode a flippin' unicorn in Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay. (Ed note: He should totally win.)

Prediction: Sorry, NPH. Jeremy Piven has won this award two years in a row, and if watching the Emmy Awards over the course of our life has taught us anything, it's that the voters subscribe to the motto of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: Ted Danson, Damages; Michael Emerson, LOST; Zeljko Ivanek, Damages; William Shatner, Boston Legal; John Slattery, Mad Men

Who we're pulling for: For three seasons, Michael Emerson has been the most entertaining part of LOST. With his bug-eyes and scary-expressive face, Mr. Emerson conveys such pathological insincerity that we can't help but laugh out loud at his countless twisted one-liners. Even as his character became an increasing cliché during the fourth season, Mr. Emerson still managed to steal the show each week. In short, we love him.

Prediction: Terry O'Quinn won this award last year, so the voters do have a history of rewarding LOST in this category, leaving the door open for Mr. Emerson. However, we think that Hollywood loves nothing more than bestowing their own with plaudits. Mr. Emerson is decidedly New York. Ted Danson? He's Hollywood. And your winner.

Tomorrow: the Actresses.

Word comes today that Ted Danson has signed on as his mentor, a prickly magazine editor who presumably guides Schwartzman in his adventures. Sadly, we're behind on our Damages watching, but from everything we've heard, Danson is an acting monster on that show, playing someone totally against his type. His role on Bored to Death sounds more in his wheelhouse, even if it does seem like an ideal role for Kevin Klein.