(The following post should be read in the voice of Hannah Horvath.)
Honestly? We’re so, so excited about Lena Dunham hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend, and we would never want her take this as anything less than, you know, the best kind of compliment to give someone, but it’s like she’s so good at doing her one, very specific thing. And not that we don’t totally believe that she can actually act like someone other than a character that she has written as a sort of messy doppleganger for her own real-life persona, because she is a strong, powerful woman who is so, so talented, but sketch comedy is just supposed to be really hard. Like this one time we got a part in our middle school improv team, but then totally peed onstage during our first performance because of a urinary tract infection, but at the time, we just thought we had vaginal cancer. And we were like 10.
Because the ultimate question in our lives right now is not “What do we get our significant other for Valentine’s Day?” but “How do I avoid reading House of Cards spoilers? Wait, shit, it’s Valentine’s Day??” (It’s official: Netflix is trying to undermine your relationship.)
Game of Thrones
These questions regard last night’s episodes of HBO’s GIRLS. Please answer the prompts with specific examples from LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE, though supplementary material will be accepted as a secondary source. Please write legibly. No. 2 pencils only. You have an hour to finish this test. See below for questions and sample responses.
1. They say there is no such thing as a free lunch, but for Hannah Horvath, every urban male street guide comes with its bag of thirty pieces of Sunchips. As we see our protagonist unravel in this episode—from overly-eager brainstormer at her GQ/Neiman Marcus meeting, to the epitome of Sad Desk salad (minus the salad)—how would New Hannah explain her predicament to the Old Hannah of Season One, who was still considering sleeping with her dentist boss “for the story”? Why would she be so conflicted at a job that is creative, pays well, and engages her interests, just because it has a corporate sponsor?
HBO released a 15-minute featurette about the upcoming season of our favorite incest-apologist blood-bath, Game of Thrones. The main takeaway we got was that Daenerys Targaryen’s dragons are making for even bitchier teenagers than King Joffrey (though still less prissy). Also, one time during a take, Peter Dinklage, my once and forever husband, did a little dance with Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, my other forever husband, and no one in the crew thought it was funny because they are all monsters out in Scotland, or wherever that show tapes.
David Mamet, America’s favorite fucking playwright, is coming to the small fucking screen. It’s going to be…it’s going to be…no, let me finish…it’s going to be a seven-part mini-series about the seven deadly sins in the Bible, and it’s going to be totally fucked, is what it’s going to be.
Law and Order
Even those out there who are disinclined to read self-help literature might find something worthwhile in The Tim Ferriss Experiment, precisely because it’s not The 4-Hour Workweek or the sequels it spawned. The new half-hour show on upwave on HLN (Sundays at 8 pm EST) is as much about content as it is about methodology. So for every week Mr. Ferriss brings his credo to a new undertaking, the focus is as much on the subject as how fast the author can learn it.
The pilot episode of the series has Mr. Ferriss working out how to play the drums during a live rendition of Foreigner’s “Hot Blooded,” on-stage during a live stadium show with the band. Though he applies his “80-20 Rule” methodology–finding the 20 percent of work to focus on that will yield 80 percent of the results–to learning how to both play the drums and the song in under a week, he admitted during a live screening with The New York Observer that it’s not always a case of mind over matter.
Comedy Bang Bang
Well no, not actually the infamous pictures. That would probably take the “ripped from the headline” boast (when did that become the show’s marketing campaign, by the way?) of Law & Order: SVU‘s latest episode straight into lawsuit territory. But it’s okay: The politician who wants to be the next mayor of New York in “October Surprise” isn’t actually Anthony Weiner, see, because in the episode he is caught sexting pictures of his junk to a 15-year-old.
As Seen on TV
Funnyman Scott Adsit is probably best known for his role as perennial sad sack Pete Hornberger on the hit NBC sitcom 30 Rock. A blundering scriptwriter who claims to have been the original bassist for the 80s band Loverboy, Pete is prone to the occasional racist remark and can never seem to satisfy his wife sexually. (To wit, in one episode he brags to a fellow writer: “Last night I was having sex with Paula, and neither of us was wearing a Walkman.”) Read More
Boy Meets Whaaa?
As a new poll shows her again leading the mayor’s race, Council Speaker Christine Quinn’s campaign is going up on the air with the first ad of the Democratic primary.
We were super excited when we heard that our childhood friends from Boy Meets World were coming back to television – but we were shocked when the Cory Matthews we knew and loved was replaced by a pointy-nosed impostor.
Girl Meets World, the new Boy Meets World spinoff, has officially been picked up by the Read More