“Get with the program!” scolds another letter from a brainwashed fan of the Batman-as-seen-through-the-pretentiousness-of-the-Christopher-Nolan trilogy, “You are a dinosaur!” He’s probably right, and I probably would—if I could only make one lick of sense out of what this nonsense is all about. Silly pop-culture comic book cinema about grown men in rubber masks and Styrofoam jock straps is bad enough, but incomprehensible gibberish to boot is just plain unacceptable. Halfheartedly, I give The Dark Knight Rises—the third and final Batflick in the Nolan trilogy—one star for eardrum-busting sound effects and glaucoma-inducing computerized images in blinding Imax, but talk about stretching things. That’s all most immature audiences require for their hard-earned money these days. The rest of it should not be reviewed by anyone over the age of 12.
As caped crusaders go, I prefer Superman, Spider Man and, above all, Captain Marvel, who has been criminally ignored by the movies so far. (Can’t you just see Michael Fassbender staring into the camera hissing “Shazam!”?) And as Batman goes, I had a lot more fun when he was fighting off Catwoman and The Joker at the Saturday afternoon double features of my youth in his campy bat cave with his jailbait roommate Robin. Drat! Christopher Nolan sent Bruce Wayne to a shrink and Batman lost his mojo. I like one caption writer’s description of the Batman epics as “car porn for geeks and gearheads.” But that doesn’t make The Dark Knight Rises any better. Trash is trash, but when it costs an estimated $250 million (bat food compared to The Amazing Spider-Man’s $137 million), the charges turn criminal and someone should subject the garbage man to a citizen’s arrest.
Hypocrisy alert! A couple of weeks back, The Daily Beast did a story about how Hollywood studios are slashing star salaries left and right—for reference, they brought up Iron Man 2, for which Scarlett Johansson is earning a “measly” $250,000 to squeeze into latex tights as The Black Widow. It certainly makes sense: Read More
The best part about the 81st annual Academy Awards on Sunday night—y’know, besides Zac Efron, OMG!—is that once it’s over, we’ll never have to think about Slumdog Millionaire again. Not to join the obvious chorus of backlashers, but a warmed-over Dickensian fable dressed up to look like a prestige version of a Tony Scott Read More
Fresh off his completely ridiculous snub from the Academy Awards (not that we’re still bitter), Christopher Nolan is ready to make another picture. And if you had selected "sequel to The Dark Knight", you lost! The director and his Dark Knight studiomates, Warner Brothers, have agreed to what Variety calls a "whopping seven Read More
It’s nice to know that even in a crappy year for movies, the Academy Awards can still manage to screw up their nominations. You have to respect that kind of commitment. It is now 24 hours later and we have yet to finish stewing over The Dark Knight‘s snub in favor of The Reader. How Read More
While receiving a nomination from the Producers Guild of America is a very good sign for a film hoping to land in one of the five Best Picture slots at the Academy Awards, it doesn’t necessarily mean all of the nominees announced yesterday should get too comfortable. The last time the PGA nailed Read More
Looking for an early Christmas present to rip open with the fervor of an 11-year-old? Dig into Julian Sancton’s recent post over at Vanity Fair‘s Oscar blog "Little Gold Men" highlighting the potential nominees for Best Original Score. It’s always been one of our favorite categories on the Academy Awards telecast and the options for this year Read More
It’s the end of the year as we know it, which can only mean one thing: top 10 lists! Now, we can’t lie—we haven’t seen absolutely everything. (We’re still waiting on Gran Torino, Seven Pounds, and a few others. Also, we will never watch Wall-E. Never!) But we did see an awful (awful) lot in Read More
As the song says, this is truly the most wonderful time of the year. There’s all the Christmas stuff, natch; but for us, ‘tis the season for recognizing the year in film! What can we say? We love lists and awards! With the New York film critics set to reveal their top choices in a Read More
With it looking more and more likely that The Dark Knight will have a large role in what happens at the Academy Awards, isn’t it about time someone caught up with Christopher Nolan? Thankfully the LA Times got to sit down with the director, presumably before everyone there was fired. In the first Read More