When the Mega Millions lottery got over $225 million recently, I went into the deli and bought a New York Post. See, I don’t like the idea of just buying a lottery ticket—feels sketchy, low rent. So as I was paying for the paper, I said, “Oh, and give me a Mega Millions, too, thanks.” Read More
New Yorkers who stared, slightly befuddled, at last week’s covers of Us Weekly, People and Star would be forgiven if they thought they had entered a parallel universe in which their pop culture touchstones had suddenly been cast aside in favor of the living-room obsessions of Indiana housewives. But perhaps they had just missed the Read More
The following is a transcript of notes taken at the interrogation of Al Qaeda operative Abu Zubaydah. It was released by the C.I.A. at the request of Vice President Dick Cheney in order to demonstrate the effectiveness of enhanced interrogation techniques approved by the president.
1. Ha! Is this waterboard supposed to Read More
Sorry I’ve been MIA everyone … a CERTAIN SOMEONE has been keeping me busy!
2:24PM May 7 from web
@[redacted] I can’t say who … Besides he’d kill me if he even knew I mentioned him! Good thing he barely knows what the Internet is.
2:27PM May 7 from web in response to [redacted] Read More
I wish I could take Brad Pitt in a fight, but I know I can’t. He’s probably on steroids, though.
Women are pretty. Men are ugly.
Did Madonna marry that dude or adopt him?
Warning: Reading this column may result in “unusual taste.”
I bet Jennifer Aniston has some messed-up ideas Read More
Franklin Lakes is a leafy New Jersey suburb of large homes and Republicans. Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik lives there; noted Harvard plagiarist Kaavya Viswanathan grew up there; and Michael Jackson reportedly bunked there for three months in 2007. According to the U.S. Census, Franklin Lakes is more than 90 percent white; Read More
The Fresh Meadows apartment complex, which is, not coincidentally, in Fresh Meadows, Queens, is a series of low-slung rental buildings interspersed with grassy knolls and cul-de-sacs, and sort of feels like a smaller, homier Stuyvesant Town, except everyone has cars and it’s a good 10-minute drive through fancy Jamaica Estates to the nearest subway station, Read More
“Have a great weekend!” Yeah fucking right. I mean, no thanks.
I always get into these huge arguments with Mapquest. It doesn’t get traffic.
Let me get this straight. When Zac Efron grows up, he’s gonna look like Chandler Bing? Personally, I don’t see it.
No, I don’t want to follow you Read More
It’s likely that when Kari Ferrell walked into the Vice magazine offices in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, last month to interview for an administrative assistant job, they thought they’d hit the jackpot. Ms. Ferrell—petite, 22 years old, of Korean heritage—had a huge tattoo of a phoenix across her chest and a cute pixie haircut. She was talkative, Read More
So I got rid of the cell phone. Ten years is enough. It used to be a tool, but then I became the tool. Now I’ve outgrown it, adapted and evolved so I don’t need it anymore and left everyone in the dust. People have to fight to get hold of me now. Side note: Read More