TMZ.com, your trusted source of all the news that’s fit to vomit, had a hard-hitting exclusive today. “The older brother who was killed and suspected in the Boston bombings was deep into hip hop, and it appears he belonged to a fan website that touted that genre of music,” read a post that was titled “Dead Bombing Suspect Heavy Into Hip Hop.” The “article” then elaborated on what this relationship could mean:
What’s interesting … hip hop lyrics are notoriously violent and often degrading to women. Tamerlan Tsarnaev has a boxing profile in which he says he doesn’t take his shirt off much because he doesn’t want women to get bad ideas, adding, “I’m very religious.” This statement is significantly more conservative than the hip hop genre.
Unfortunately, this brilliant extrapolation has not been lauded for its hard-hitting investigative process. Instead, a new trend on Twitter–#TMZReports– has emerged, mocking the site’s perceived racism.
Sesame Street Sex Scandal
It was only last Monday (though it feels like forever ago) that 23-year-old Sheldon Stephens accused the voice of Elmo, Kevin Clash, of starting an inappropriate relationship with Mr. Stephens when he was 16-year-old. And while we thought all that ugliness was behind us after Stephens retracted his allegations and took a $125,000 out-of-court settlement, he is now rescinding his recant, claiming that he was “pressured” to drop the case.
Today the NYPD released surveillance footage of the Wednesday-night incident that left actress Lindsay Lohan accused of striking a pedestrian then leaving the scene. The video may be more useful in defending Ms. Lohan than prosecuting her. It shows a typical late-night street scene, several people milling around a parking area entrance. Ms. Lohan’s vehicle noses through then leaves the frame and no one seems alarmed or concerned. Take a look:
We know everyone will be deeply shocked to learn this morning that actress and Worst Case Scenario of the Decade Lindsay Lohan has been arrested in Manhattan after police say she struck a pedestrian while parking her vehicle, then left the scene. TMZ, that Grim Reaper of celebrity gossip websites, tells us what happened after Ms. Lohan allegedly struck the 30-year-old male around 2 a.m. ET:
James Deen may be a porn star, but he’s still a babe in the woods when it comes to being a celebrity. After being accosted by a TMZ paparazzo outside Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills last weekend, Mr. Deen–who just finished filming Bret Easton Ellis and Paul Schrader’s The Canyons with the “super great” Lindsay Lohan–was more than happy to give the digital tabloid some amazingly doofy soundbites.
(This, despite the fact that his lawyer was present, and Mr. Deen seemed to be aware that he shouldn’t be talking about the film.)
Let’s look at the transcript, shall we? But a quick word to the wise: Don’t be fooled by TMZ’s headline … Mr. Deen never mentioned that Ms. Lohan helped him climax.
Celebrity Death Clearing House TMZ has resurrected a decades-old Hollywood mystery worthy of breaking out of the usual Friday news dump churn–namely that Natalie Wood’s mysterious “accidental” death in November 1981 has been reclassified as “undetermined.” Just breathe, Harvey Levin:
Award season must officially be over, because actress Sean Young has emerged, seen her shadow, and drunkenly tried to fight with it. The Blade Runner actress, who infamously tried to boo Julian Schnabel off the stage at the 2008 Directors Guild Awards, was arrested last night for slapping a security guard when she wasn’t allowed into the Governors Ball without a ticket.
Backstabber! Just last month, Charlie Sheen was praising his Two and a Half Men replacement, Ashton Kutcher, for following in his footsteps and completely falling apart the classy way he was handling tabloid pressure. (Since joining the show, Mr. Kutcher has separated from wife Demi Moore after illicit, drug-fueled photos of him with other women began cropping up.)
“I was kind of impressed… I thought, ‘Hey, man, make it colorful!’” Mr. Sheen said about Mr. Kutcher’s exploits. He’d previously given Mr. Kutcher his blessing on taking over for him on the show as well.
But Charlie Sheen, truth-sayer that he is, couldn’t contain his contempt for Kutcher and CBS during a TMZ phone interview yesterday.
Last week were shocked to learn that our favorite viral video of 2011, “The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (Narrated by Randall),” was not, in fact, the creation of a man named Randall. According to a press release about a new animated project based on the YouTube series, the man behind the Randall videos was actually named Christopher Gordon.
So we were very confused by this TMZ video interview with the purported “Randall” (no last name given), who looks like an extra from Boogie Nights. Is this Mr. Gordon’s alter-ego? Or does Randall actually exist?