OWN adds six new series.

Despite the low viewership for Oprah's OWN network, the execs have added a lot on their lineup for next season, including two Tyler Perry series: a drama called The Haves and the Have Nots and half-hour comedy Love Thy Neighbor. And so, so much more! (In case that wasn't enough.)

According to Deadline's report:

OWN announced four new unscripted series for 2013, including docu-series Raising Whitley, about comedienne Kym Whitley and her friends; Dogfellas, about a mobster-turned-dog groomer; and Blackboard Wars, about the efforts to improve a troubled New Orleans high school. OWN also has given a series order to Golden Sisters, the special/backdoor pilot about three frisky octogenarian sisters that aired last month.

We're not even kidding about setting our DVRs for Dogfellas and Golden Sisters right now. (How that's not already in some trademark war with Golden Girls, we have no idea.) Blackboard Wars could be great, but it could also be not be seen by anyone, as OWN has been trying to crawl out of the ratings rubble since its launch in 2011.

Kim Kardashian, 'acting.' (Lionsgate)

Future Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award winner Kim Kardashian has landed herself the role of a lifetime (or at least one that's going to be paying higher residuals than her own wedding did). She's "starring" in Tyler Perry's latest film, Confessions of a Marriage Counselor. Although honestly, "starring" might be too strong of a word. She's definitely in the film--check out the trailer below--and she gets her own credit (along with Vanessa Williams's Indian accent), but all the clip reveals about her character is that she likes to wear tight dresses and works in a marriage counseling office.

At least one of these character traits will not be a big stretch, acting-wise. (Pun semi-intended, inasmuch as we just can't really bring our brains to process much of anything after the holidays, and especially not this.)

We can't wait to see the Inside the Actors Studio about this one.

The box office smash of the weekend

Think Like a Man, the new ensemble film based on Steve Harvey’s best-selling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, won several notable distinctions this weekend. Not only did it knock Hunger Games off its top slot at the box office--where the popular film about children killing other children had been residing since it premiered five weeks ago--but its opening weekend gross made more money than any Tyler Perry premiere, save one.

Madea Goes to Jail opened at just over $41 million in February of 2009. Though we tend to think of Tyler Perry productions as unstoppable money-making machines, none of his subsequent films ever topped that number. Think Like a Man, however, opened at $33 million:  $8 million less than Madea Goes to Jail, but $10 million more than Mr. Perry's next-biggest cinematic feature, For Colored Girls, which raised slightly under $20k when it opened in 2010. Think Like a Man also made approximately double the amount of Mr. Perry's most recent movie, Good Deeds, in opening weekend grosses.

Sure, one could make the argument that it's unfair to compare Think Like a Man to Tyler Perry's films, just because they both were created by and marketed to African-Americans. (Actually, if you did a venn diagram of the actors in the films of Tyler Perry and those in Think Like a Man, it would just essentially be one big circle, thanks to stars Michael Ealy, Jennifer Lewis, and Gabrielle Union.)

But realistically, that's where we're at: the films marketed to a certain demographic will invariably get compared to one another instead of standing on its own ability.  Even while evaluating the film's success, Time.com used the amazing phrase: "Distributor Sony Screen Gems artfully marketed the movie to 'urban' (black) radio stations and TV networks..."

Earlier in the review, Time described Think Like a Man as an "urban relationship comedy." No need for a parentheses that time, since ostensibly readers will have understood what 'urban' stands for. (It stands for black (which stands for African-American (etc., etc.,))).

A Christmas Carol

What's the story: Are you ready for Christmas? Yeah, we didn't think so. But that hasn't stopped Disney from trotting out yet another version of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. This time around Jim Carrey stars as Ebenezer Scrooge, though the twist here is that his entire performance is motion captured and animated. Robert Zemeckis, apparently finished with flesh and bones—he is, after all, planning on a sequel to Roger Rabbit—directs what is sure to be a Polar Express-type money maker for years to come. It's in IMAX 3-D, people! Even Santa Claus couldn't resist that.

Who should see it: Tiny Tim.

The Box

What's the story: If you feel like The Box has been knocking around forever, that's because it has. Richard Kelly's follow-up to the inscrutable and unending Southland Tales was supposed to come out last November, and then again in early October. Now it's finally here, this November. This isn't necessarily a dump—it is opening in over 2,600 theaters—but don't get your hopes up (witness the 45 percent Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes). Based on a Richard Matheson short story, "Button, Button" (which was turned into a famous Twilight Zone episode), The Box stars a badly accented Cameron Diaz and James Marsden as a couple who find a box on their front porch that, if opened, will give them a million dollars... and kill someone they don't know. Oh, the moral implications! Cue the dun-dun-dun music!

Who should see it: Donnie Darko.

The Fourth Kind

What's the story: We know Hollywood loves piggybacking on to trends, but usually it takes more than a few weeks to do so. Ripping a page right out of the Paranormal Activity playbook, The Fourth Kind paints itself as a true-life look at some mysterious disappearances in Nome, Alaska, that were blamed on alien abductions. Wait, isn't that a close encounter of the third kind? Meh. This probably should have come out before Halloween.

Who should see it: Roy Neary.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

What's the story: Despite being the other George Clooney movie here in 2009—Up in the Air, with all its Oscar buzz, will be the one to remember—it feels like we should still be a bit more excited about The Men Who Stare at Goats. Mr. Clooney's good friend Grant Helsov directs this adaptation of Jon Ronson's book about the military's use of the paranormal and psychic soldiers. Don't worry—it might sound creepy, but it's a wacky comedy! The Men Who Stare at Goats has the look of a watered down Coen Brothers movie, complete with Jeff Bridges in a Dude-like performance as the founder of the psychic soldier program. The reviews have been mixed, but our Rex Reed spared no vitriol, calling The Men Who Stare at Goats a "cinematic Katrina" while comparing it to being "stung by a wasp on the inside of your eyelid." Ha! Also, ouch.

Who should see it: The Coen Brothers.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire

What's the story: Since the buzz machine on Lee Daniels' new film has been turned all the way up to eleven for a few months now—Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey signed on as executive producers after it appeared at Sundance; the New York Times did a massive Sunday magazine piece on the film and Mr. Daniels—logic dictates that the backlash would start eventually. And here it comes! While a majority of the reviews have been strong—the Observer's Rex Reed called it "one of the most unforgettable films of the decade"—there are a select few critics who don't seem all that impressed. Of course noted contrarian Armond White eviscerated the film (apparently Norbit is better), but both David Edelstein and Anthony Lane have their doubts too. Still, what everyone seems to agree on is that Precious is not for the faint of heart—the 16-year-old heroine is raped, abused, and worse. And while that might turn you off, since this is sure to be one of the films on the long list for Oscar (hey, 10 nominees!), you should probably find yourself a ticket anyway.

Who should see it: Madea.

The sun is still shining on Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs! For a second straight week the animated film dominated what was a sluggish session at the multiplex, grossing an estimated $24.6 million and setting itself up as one of the sleeper hits of the fall (not to mention giving us the opportunity to make more weather related puns). Storm clouds did, however, circle around the latest batch of new releases (see?). The $80 million budgeted Surrogates landed in second place with only $15 million; Fame tripped into third with just $10 million; and Pandorum crashed into sixth, accumulating only $4.4 million in ticket sales. Thankfully, it wasn’t all bad news for the freshman class: Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story banked $240,000 from just four theaters, meaning it averaged a brawny $60,000 per screen. Numbers like that would make even Ben Bernanke jealous. As we do each Monday, here’s a breakdown of the top five at the box office.

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs: $24.6 million ($60 million total)

Ladies and gentlemen: we have legs! The Sony 3-D hit dipped a ridiculously low 18 percent from last weekend and has now crossed $60 million in ticket sales to date. To put this into perspective, the only other number one film to have a smaller second weekend depreciation in 2009 was February’s Taken, and that went on to gross $145 million. With no other animated films on the horizon and obviously great word-of-mouth, the chances are good that Meatballs could follow a similar path.

2. Surrogates: $15 million ($15 million total)

If you take away Live Free or Die Hard, Bruce Willis hasn’t had a live action film gross over $100 million at the box office since The Sixth Sense in 1999, a streak that covers a whopping 17 films. Yikes! We hate to sound so negative, but the shoe fits: it appears the days of considering Bruno a movie star are really just about over.

3. Fame: $10 million ($10 million total)

Apparently learning to fly high means barely hitting $10 million at the box office. Not only did Fame pale in comparison to other dance movies like Save the Last Dance and Step Up, it also wound up doing worse than even the ill-fated Rent big screen adaptation. Why doesn’t Hollywood just make a movie out of Dancing with the Stars and get it over with already?

4. The Informant!: $6.9 million ($20.9 million total)

Despite having an ad campaign that falls decidedly into the bait and switch category—after all, the  movie the trailer sold does not exist on screen—The Informant! held up reasonably well over the weekend, dipping only 33 percent. At this rate, the Steven Soderbergh film could wind up grossing around $40 million overall, a number that is similar to that of Michael Clayton. Of course, Michael Clayton wound up with seven Oscar nominations. We're not sure if the The Informant! will even get one.

5. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself: $4.7 million ($44.5 million total)

The Tyler Perry Express continued to roll along over the weekend, holding off the opening of Pandorum ($4.4 million/$4.4 million total) to finish fifth at the box office. What else is there to say about Mr. Perry? By the time it’s done, Bad will probably wind up grossing what an average Tyler Perry movie grosses, almost to the dollar. If there is a more consistent filmmaker in Hollywood, we have yet to see them.

It was all sunshine and rainbows for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs at the box office over the weekend. The 3-D animated jaunt topped the charts with an estimated $30.1 million, a number that nearly tripled second place finisher—and fellow newcomer—The Informant! Sadly, it was stormy weather for the other freshman entries: Love Happens landed in fourth place with $8.4 million, while Jennifer’s Body collapsed in fifth, with just $6.8 million. As we do each Monday, here’s a breakdown of the top five at the box office.

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs: $30.1 million ($30.1 million total)

Score another win for the third dimension. Nearly $18 million of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ $30.1 million gross came from 3-D showings, proving once again that when it comes to animation and horror, audiences like it when things fly at their faces. While this opening pales in comparison to other 3-D extravaganzas like Up and Monsters vs. Aliens, Meatballs did manage to score the biggest September opening weekend for an animated film in Hollywood history. How’s that for a mouthful?

2. The Informant!: $10.5 million ($10.5 million total)

While we won’t go so far as to say that Sony Pictures Entertainment co-chair Amy Pascal was right to pull Steven Soderbergh off Moneyball, maybe she wasn’t as wrong as we thought. That The Informant! could only get an opening just slightly higher than what The Soloist pulled down in March qualifies it as disappointing. Think of it this way: State of Play and Duplicity, two adult oriented dramas that were seen as box office pariahs, both opened with roughly $4 million more than this. Mr. Soderbergh needs another Ocean’s movie, post-haste.

3. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself: $10 million ($37.9 million total)

The Tyler Perry machine keeps rolling along. I Can Do Bad All By Myself dipped a to be expected 57 percent from last weekend’s number one bow and is now up to $37.9 million domestic. At this rate, the Taraji P. Henson-starrer has an outside chance of becoming the third highest grossing film of Mr. Perry’s career, behind only Madea Goes to Jail and Madea’s Family Reunion. However since this one doesn’t have “Madea” in the title, we wouldn’t get our hopes up.

4. Love Happens: $8.4 million ($8.4 million total)

To put into perspective just how limp this opening is, remember that the atrocious All About Steve scored $11 million during its first salvo. Still, the bomb that is Love Happens reminds us that Jennifer Aniston has actually become a real movie star. This is her worst wide release opener since Rumor Has It, and breaks a streak of three straight first place launches. Who says you can’t make the jump from television to movies?

5. Jennifer’s Body: $6.8 million ($6.8 million total)

Expected to gross somewhere in the teens, Jennifer’s Body could barely hold off the second weekend of 9 ($5.4 million/$22.7 million total) as it crashed into fifth place with just $6.8 million. The horror-comedy-satire calls into question the careers of two of Hollywood’s most outspoken females. For writer Oscar-winning writer Diablo Cody (yep, that happened), perhaps this can be chalked up to a sophomore slump. As for star Megan Fox, this failure is a bit more serious. She was front and center in the marketing of Jennifer’s Body and audiences clearly rejected her. We’re guessing Transformers 3 and another chance to work with Michael Bay looks a lot better to her right about now.

Faced with the start of the NFL season, the VMA’s (like everyone else, we’re on Team Taylor Swift), and, perhaps, a bit of moviegoer ennui, it was another slow weekend at the multiplex. Tyler Perry’s latest film, I Can Do Bad All By Myself, topped all comers with an impressive $24 million, but otherwise it was a mixed bag for the remaining new releases. The “visionary” animated flick 9 placed second with $10.8 million; however, Sorority Row and Whiteout bombed, finishing sixth and seventh respectively, each earning a shade over $5 million. Wake us when the good movies start coming out again. As we do each Monday, here’s a breakdown of the top five at the box office.

1. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself: $24 million ($24 million total)

That Tyler Perry has more number one openings over the last five years (five) than directors like Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay (both with four) speaks to both his prolific output (he’s made eight films over that stretch) and loyal fanbase. Despite the fact most of the people you know never even heard of this film, I Can Do Bad All By Myself was still able to land the seventh biggest September opening in Hollywood history. There is a niche here and Mr. Perry is more than happy to fill it up.

2. 9: $10.8 million ($15.2 million total)

Shane Acker’s apocalyptic animated sci-fi film clearly brought out the geeks in small droves; since opening Wednesday, the Tim Burton executive produced film has grossed $15.2 million. That doesn’t sound like much, but when you realize that Focus Features’s last animated flick—the sleeper 3-D hit Coraline—opened with $16.8 million, this start is more than respectable.

3. Inglourious Basterds: $6.5 million ($104.3 million total)

The reports of Quentin Tarantino’s death were apparently greatly exaggerated. Later this week, Inglourious Basterds will pass Pulp Fiction as the caffeinated director’s highest grossing film. Worldwide, Basterds is nearing $200 million; even with a relatively high price tag it looks like things will still be in the black for The Weinstein Company when all receipts are counted. Also, huzzah to Brad Pitt! The revenge flick is his ninth film to cross the century mark.

4. All About Steve: $5.8 million ($21.8 million total)

How bad were things at the box office over the weekend? Well, All About Steve, with its 6 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, only dropped 48 percent from its opening bow and remained in the top five overall. Welcome to September.

5. The Final Destination: $5.5 million ($58.2 million total)

The ridiculous 3-D horror film, The Final Destination, held off newcomers Sorority Row and Whiteout to finish in fifth place. Now the highest grossing film in the history of the terrible franchise, The Final Destination will most likely breed another film. If you feel like weeping for the nation’s youth, you are more than welcomed to do so. Also, you can't cheat death! 

Ah, the second weekend in September: A time for crappy horror movies and, apparently, Tyler Perry (though, truth be told, those two things might not be mutually exclusive). Four movies hit theaters today, and if you don’t like genre stuff, you’re out of luck! As we do every Friday, here’s a handy guide to the new releases.

Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself

What’s the story: For the second straight year, Tyler Perry is releasing a movie on this very weekend. Last September, it was The Family That Preys, about two disparate families coming together; this weekend, I Can Do Bad All By Myself centers on a nightclub singer (the always-riveting Taraji P. Henson) taking in her ne’er-do-well niece and nephews. Something tells us things will work out in the end. Since this particular Mr. Perry affair features his alter ego Madea, you can also expect some major box office.

Who should see it: Oprah Winfrey.

9

What’s the story: “Visionary director” Shane Acker expands on his Oscar-nominated short film, 9, with the post-apocalyptic animated spectacle of the same name. We haven’t seen the original short (it’s available on YouTube), but if the reviews are any indication, we can save our money and just watch that in lieu of the extended feature-length version. Sounds good to us.

Who should see it: Zack Snyder.

Whiteout

What’s the story: Who knew this wasn’t a horror movie? Not us! Whiteout is actually a whodunit, set in the cold recesses of Antarctica just before the sun disappears for the winter. Kate Beckinsale stars, presumably hoping this bad movie makes everyone forget all of her other bad movies.

Who should see it: Sir Ernest Shackleton.

Sorority Row

What’s the story: Now this is a horror movie. Based on the 1983 film The House on Sorority Row, this update finds a bunch of scantily clad sorority sisters getting offed one by one by a masked killer. You won’t recognize anyone in the cast beyond Rumor Willis (we’re guessing she gets killed) and Matt Lanter from the new 90210 (we’re guessing he’s the killer), but that won’t matter; if you’re predisposed to this kind of movie, you’ll probably enjoy it.

Who should see it: Members of Delta Delta Delta.

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail

What's the story: You've got to hand it to union buster Tyler Perry. He's one of the most consistent filmmakers in Hollywood today, and since his movies cost relatively nothing to make, they invariably make a profit. Moreover, he seemingly releases two of these films per year, only increasing his studio viability. The latest, Madea Goes to Jail, sends his cross-dressing alter ego, Madea... to jail. After all his issues with the Writers Guild last year, we can think of at least seven of his former employees who are looking forward to watching this scenario come true.

Who should see it: Members of the National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation.

Fired Up

What's the story: Poor Eric Christian Olsen. He was too old to be playing a teenager in Not Another Teen Movie and that came out in 2001. Now it's eight years later and he's still playing a high school student? The dude is almost 32-years-old! (And the scary part is that he looks it, too.) As for this new movie of his, the only draw we can think of for people to go see Fired Up is if they have a cheerleader fetish. However, we're pretty sure there are plenty of websites out there to satisfy those desires. Be honest: if we told you Fired Up was being released directly to DVD, would you even bat an eyelash?

Who should see it: Eric Christian Olsen's agent.

Apparently, not any ol’ kid-friendly flick will do. Drillbit Taylor (No. 7), a product of the Judd Apatow (40-Year-Old Virgin, Superbad) and Owen Wilson brain trust, bombed terribly with a $7,443 average at nine theaters. It was out-grossed by Under the Same Moon (No. 6), a Spanish-language film with American Ferrara (Ugly Betty) in limited release. I doubt the fact that it had the highest-grossing opening weekend—$2.6 million—of any Spanish-language film ever will be of any consolation to those involved in Drillbit. With Apatow’s luck taking a turn for the worse, perhaps it’s best that he doesn’t hang out with Wilson. …

Joshua Jackson, the forgotten cast member of Dawson’s Creek, has reason to be optimistic today about his acting career. The horror film Shutter (No. 3), in which he stars, posted decent numbers: $10.7 million nationally; $172,000 here. What does it mean? There’s still hope for him to fulfill his destiny as George Clooney’s body double—or at least play his son in a remake of Vice Versa. C’mon, there’s got to be some way Jackson can capitalize on looking like Clooney. How about doing some commercials in Japan? They won’t notice the difference.

List of theaters: Paris, Zeigfeld, Oprheum, East 85th St., 86th St. East, 84th St., Lincoln Plaza, 62nd and Broadway, Lincoln Square, Magic Johnson, 72nd St East, Cinemas 1, 2 &3rd Ave, 64th and 2nd , Imaginasian, Manhattan Twin, First and 62nd St., Angelika Film Center, Quad, IFC Center, Film Forum, Village East, Village Seven, Cinema Village, Union Square, Essex, Battery Park 11, Sunshine, 34th Street, Empire, E-Walk, Chelsea, 19th Street East, and Kips Bay.

Manhattan Weekend Box Office: How moviegoers in the multiplexes of middle America choose to spend their ten-spot is probably a big deal in Hollywood. But here in Manhattan, the hottest movies aren't always the ones making the big bucks nationwide. Using Nielsen numbers for Manhattan theaters alone and comparing them to the performance of the national weekend box office can tell you a lot about our Blue State sensibilities. Or nothing at all! Each Monday afternoon, we will bring you the results.