The hostess looked chagrined. Was this man nervy or simply clueless?

It's a question that comes up often in these socially rudderless times. Of course, we can always blame everything on celebrities, who set standards based on ego, not etiquette. At the last U.S. Open, where some players might as well have been in a strip show in Vegas, Venus Williams, in a black corset, seemed to be in competition with Britney Spears as she ran around exposing flesh-colored panties that made her look like she was mooning us. Does it occur to Lady Gaga that while wearing a meat dress is fine for an awards show, baring her crotch at her sister's high school (along with a beekeepers' veiled hat to cover her face) is not?

Then there's Marc Jacobs in ads for his new men's cologne. He's nude, legs splayed open with oily, tattooed and buffed body on full display but for his privates, covered with a bottle of Bang, a peppery, woody fragrance. He decided it was more appropriate than posing in a shirt. "I thought, O.K., I feel comfortable," Jacobs has said.

Which is fine for him. But what about the rest of us? It's one thing when it's a model you don't recognize in an underwear ad. But when it's a highly regarded designer whose collections are known for creativity, not sensuality, isn't it just overshare?

"But he's so talented and he works so hard," one magazine editor told me in his defense at a recent fashionista baby shower, where men in diapers served Champagne. "He should be able to do whatever he wants." Well, yes, because it is a free country, and the spiritual home of "if you've got it, flaunt it." But most people I know are scratching their heads at Mr. Jacobs in the buff, and then they're looking the other way.

"I liked him better when he was a nerd," one public-relations executive told me.

"Who wants to see it?" a designer of women's wear added.

Not Miuccia Prada, who calls the tendency to show too much flesh "the desperation of the sexy." In the case of Marc Jacobs, I would call it a midlife crisis.

As for that young man in the teensy-weensy shorts at a seated dinner party, I would say he needs to learn when hot pants are simply not pants. The difference has to do with the occasion. A fashion director who showed up for afternoon cocktails at my weekend place in teeny shorts and heels that made her look like a pinup girl definitely had nerve, but was within the parameters of acceptable. It was still daytime, after all, and we were outside in the warmth of a summer's day. At his recent runway show, Ralph Lauren showed tiny suede shorts that would take nerve (and money) to wear, too.

But not to a seated dinner. Even in a graceless society, that's my rule. Like too much cologne at the table, clothes that are too provocative deflect from the point of the meal, which is communion, conversation and tender meat on a plate, not on a chair.

"Can you believe he wore hot pants to our dinner?" one host asked later.

Yes, I can. And I'm also relieved that summer is now officially over.

It's getting chilly out, folks. Let's get dressed.

editorial@observer.com

This was by no means high quality tennis, and, yet again, Venus couldn't get the job done at a major not named Wimbledon. Like she did against Justine Henin at the Open in 2007, or Serena in 2008, or against Clijsters last year, Venus shot herself in the foot. She had nearly a 2:1 ration on unforced errors to winners (50:27) and had 7 double faults, including two critical ones in a second set tiebreak that she lost 7-2. 

Opportunity came knocking at Venus's door today, but we don't need to rewrite her legacy quite yet. Venus took on her first Big Time opponent at this tournament, and fell. And Clijsters certainly appreciated it.

"I just tried to make the points," said Clijsters in an on-court interview after the match. "I tried to keep the pressure on her. I'm glad she made a few double faults in the tiebreaker there."

"Obviously in the tiebreak I wasn't able to play as well as I wanted," said Venus, in her opening remarks in a presser reflecting on the match. "I made a lot of errors."

Clijsters obviously didn't have her A-game either, but Venus played slightly worse. Though it always seems silly to make comparisons of Venus to Serena if there's a reason why Serena is showered with so much attention than her older sister the second set proved why: Serena would have closed the deal then and there. This match would not have gone three sets. She would have finished the job.

Even in the third set, Venus had her chances, and they slipped away.

"I don't feel like [Clijsters] settled in a lot," said Venus, talking about the third set. "I had chances for 2-love, and I don't think she felt that comfortable even at 4-all. It was tough. In the third set, it was a good game. She just made good plays. Normally if I'm coming in that much, I'm probably gonna win the game."

And what was the difference?

"I guess at the end she may have made a few less errors. Last two games just went her way."

It seems that Venus and Clijsters reached the same conclusion: Clijsters made fewer mistakes, and a few more big plays.

But, I have to say, I'm glad it went three because we got to see a riveting tennis match, even if it wasn't flawless. It's been a very long time since we saw a match of this magnitude--a semifinal--that was this thrilling. Maybe Capriati-Serena in 2004 is the closest thing to it (and, that too, was full of mistake-prone tennis). And it really goes to show that even if Clijsters and Venus are two rough-and-tough vets, there is still no better stuff that is produced in women's tennis than by the players who emerged on the scene a decade ago. We really should appreciate that era of women's tennis because it continues to entertain.

For Clijsters, this is another great moment. For a second straight match, she came away with a W that she didn't necessarily deserve. But she deserves props for that, and it'll serve her well as she tries to knock down Vera Zvonareva in the women's final tomorrow night.

It's the only time this U.S. Open--whether she wins or loses--that she'll have to play a fellow two time+ Grand Slam champion. Neither Venus nor Clijsters are playing their best tennis--Clijsters got through her quarterfinals match by seemingly losing less than Stosur--but we're hoping they put on a show today. For Venus it presents an opportunity. An opportunity to finally elbow her way back into a Grand Slam Final that isn't named Wimbledon. It would be a big statement from her.

Over the last few years, Venus Williams has played the role of a sort of Arantxa Sánchez Vicario. She's always a competitor at a major, she might make her way to a semifinal or a quarterfinal, but if you're a Justine Henin or a Kim Clijsters or--most especially--a Serena Williams, you're going to beat her. So, her little sister isn't playing at this Open, and the door is open. Clijsters hasn't lost at the Open in a very long time--dating back to before her first retirement--and won't crumble because of the pressure. Venus is going to have to win it on the merits.

Considering that these two are meeting at a moment where neither is exactly playing their best tennis, I'm expecting a match not unlike the 4th round match we saw last year. The first two sets were a blur--each won at love--but dramatic tennis finally emerged in the third set. If Venus wins today, she'll be proving something to a lot of folks out there who aren't convinced that she can still beat the best. The battle of the two veterans begins in a couple hours.

Venus basically hadn't been tested at this tournament until tonight, and she handled it beautifully. She defeated Francesca Schiavone 7-6, 6-4 in a 1 hour, 54 minute match. All credit in the world to French Open champ Schiavone who showed up to play on a big stage, and did not seem overwhelmed by the pressure. She simply lost to a player who looks like she's hitting her stride.

I'm a bit surprised Venus has been able to play as well as she has in this tournament. She hasn't played any tennis since Wimbledon, she hasn't won a Grand Slam in over two years, and she hasn't played on a Friday of the second week at the Open in three years. If she faces Kim Clijsters--who will play later tonight--we'll have a delightful Friday afternoon match that will be a rematch of their fourth round match last year.

And if Venus does get past Clijsters--or Stosur--and can get to the Finals, it may be time to to finally rewrite Venus's legacy.

The older sister of the Williams duo has been completely overshadowed by her younger sis in recent years. It's Serena, after all, who we have all been talking about in the first week of the tournament even though she wasn't here. It's Serena who has been hailed as the greatest player ever.

Venus, over the last six years, has gotten a rap for occasionally dominating Wimbledon and fading away everywhere else. Since 2002, Venus has won three Wimbledons. She has won no other Grand Slams. She hasn't even been to the final of any of the other three Grand Slams in nearly eight years (last trip? Australia 2003). If Venus, at the end of her career, can elbow her way into a Final at the Open, Venus will notch her way up the list of All-Time Greats. No one has been talking about it--including me--because Venus has been around for so long. She always seems like a mildly interesting first week story before the inevitable flameout in the second week.

Even in 2007 when she made a trip to the semifinals it seemed to make sense. Venus came into the Open on the heels of her second win at Wimbledon in three years and it looked like she was getting second life. Then she lost to Justine Henin (after coming down with a strange case of supposed anemia) and she hasn't been that far until this year. 

Venus's next match comes mid-afternoon on Friday.

That magic carpet ride of '10 came to an early end today with a straight sets loss to Alona Bondarenko.

In other matches today: Venus Williams struggled early on, but won in straight sets over a tough-as-nails Canadian Rebecca Marino. Andy Murray won today--a guy that Out's Aaron Hicklin told us today that he is rooting for--in three easy sets, despite the heat! He said the wind made it a bit easier out there. "Honestly, I don't find it that bad on center today," he said. "It was hot, but the wind--it does get a lot breezier on that court than the outside courts."

The big story tomorrow will no doubt be about 18-year-old Ryan Harrison who defeated Ivan Ljubicic. It's his first Open and he handled it well.

Also, the lineup got a bit easier for Ana Ivanovic. Marion Bartoli lost today to another Frenchwoman Virginie Razzano who'll be Ivanovic's next opponent.

Let's ask three former U.S. Open champions--two men, one lady--about love and tennis.

THE SINGLE MAN: MARAT SAFIN, 30

The 2000 U.S. Open champion, who retired last year, did an interview with Russian Hello! in which a revealed a pragmatic, if slightly bleak, view of relationships.

"To have fun together – this is very rare, actually," he said.

Uh oh. Marat said that he hasn't found love because the girls he's dated have been, occasionally, too young. But he's not desperate, either.

"I’m not going to seek a bride from an ad," he said (The guy lives in Moscow! He probably can find that bride outside his apartment). 

If you're lucky enough to get on a date with him, it looks like he's got quite the bachelor pad in Moscow. He makes good use of it! He doesn't like fancy restaurants or any sort of Moscow scene. He likes cooking dinners and spending time at home. But if you do go out to eat with him, watch out, cause he's gonna get judgey!

"Sometimes, you go to the restaurant and see a couple: come, sit opposite each other and sit," he said. "You see that they have nothing at all between them."

THE MARRIED MAN: ROGER FEDERER, 29

Even though Roger recently married (and had babies) with his longtime love, Mirka Federer, he said that it's hard to find love when you're pounding the hard courts.

"We cannot get married that early," he said last night, at a press conference after his victory. "And if we do, you're not going to see the other person maybe for over 50 percent of the year. It's hard to keep up a good relationship, I find."

He wound up doing it, though!

"I was lucky enough that the last seven or eight years, I've been every day together basically with Mirka, and that has definitely helped me to be good," he said.

He acknowledged that when players get married (hello McEnroe, Borg, Agassi!) they "start to maybe not play as well."

His setup, however, is ideal.

"It's so well set up," he said. "Mirka takes such great care. I'm there anyway most all the time as well that I can place my practice whenever I want.  I still have enough time with them."

See, Marat, it can work.

THE SINGLE WOMAN: VENUS WILLIAMS, 30

After Venus won last night, she said love can wait.

"I have a commitment problem," she said. "I can't commit."

Kim Clijsters and Lindsay Davenport found love and happiness, and said, "They don't have a problem, but clearly I do."

What's she married to? Tennis, she said.

"I'll grow up one day, but not yet," she said.

FOR COMPLETE OBSERVER U.S. OPEN COVERAGE: http://observer.com/usopen and http://twitter.com/koblin

Ana Ivanovic, who was knocked out of the first round herself last year, came back strongly last night winning in straight sets. She told the press last night that she's confident again, but we've heard that refrain before.

In the featured matches, Venus Williams and Roger Federer both cruised to a straight set victories. Venus said her knee held up OK in the match, but we'll see what happens when she's better tested.

Oh, yes, and also: Anna Wintour told ESPN that Roger Federer does reach out to her to ask for fashion advice.

FOR COMPLETE OBSERVER U.S. OPEN COVERAGE: http://observer.com/usopen and http://twitter.com/koblin

With Melanie Oudin's gorgeous upset of Maria Sharapova yesterday and Clijsters' victory over Venus Williams this afternoon, the women's game is again showing signs of life.

Disregard the first two sets in today's Clijsters-Venus match, both won at love. Consider them a prelude. You had one set in which Clijsters demonstrated that, yes, she is still capable of absolutely brilliant tennis. The second set proved, yet again, that Venus Williams won't ever go quietly away, even when she's struggling.

The match really began in the third set and it was fifty-two minutes of well-balanced brilliance. No service game was a lock, and no powerful forehand hit into a corner was ever safely a free point. Venus and Clijsters moved each other around the court, trading long, mesmerizing rallies. Clijsters had an early break in the set, and held onto her serve, even in the last game when she was facing the biggest stage she's experienced in over two years and 0-30 down to one of the greatest champions ever. She got a little help--Venus seemed to forget how to hit volleys and overheads throughout the set--but she brought home that last service winner all on her own.

Oudin and Clijsters have given the game the shot in the arm it has been craving. Most notably, they haven't caved under pressure. Marion Bartoli told me earlier this week that Clijsters' real test would be to see how she confronts her nerves in a match against Venus and Serena. She passed that test today.

The two losers this weekend, Venus Williams and Maria Sharapova, both slowed by apparent injuries, are experts at grinding out victories. Unlike the rest of the women on the tour recently (Dementieva, Ivanovic, Jankovic), Oudin and Clijsters have proven they can do it, too.

Let's look forward: On one side of the draw, Oudin has a pretty solid look at the finals. On the other side, if Clijsters can take down Li Na of China, she'll be in the semis against Serena.

(And what's that? All week we've been hearing rumblings of a Justine Henin comeback!)

It's been one of the great weekends in U.S. Open history, and one of the great weekends in women's tennis in a long, long time.

Later this afternoon, Venus Williams will take on Kim Clijsters, an absurdly intriguing fourth round match. We're giddy just thinking about it.

Marion Bartoli told us three days ago that Clijsters, back in her first Open in three years after she retired and had a baby, is a contender to win this thing. But! Bartoli also said she wasn't sure how Clijsters would handle the pressure in a match aganist a Serena or a Venus.

It's time for an awfully big test. Venus has been banged up this year, and hasn't looked quite as fresh as she did last year, or in 2007. Also, you have a feeling that Venus doesn't feel the same way about this moment as Clijsters does. Here's Clijsters on what it's like being back at the Open:

"I just felt like, Wow," she said after her third round win. "Just like you feel like when you're 14, 15 years old again. That's how I felt. That's a great feeling to have, because that's definitely something that's always -- at the end of my first career, something that I was missing, just the hunger."

We're taking Clijsters in this one.

Also! Serena Williams plays this morning--as much as she doesn't like it--and Nadal has a reasonably difficult third round challenge against Nicolas Almagro. Tonight, we've got Taylor Dent and Andy Murray.

Ready. Play.