Because you just might fuck it up by yourself.

You know how people are always complaining that getting married in New York is too cheap these days? What with the variety of venues open year-round and the plummeting prices of caterers, diamonds, wedding planners and gown designers, it's like you can't even go into debt to show you care anymore!

Luckily, there's a new way for the fellas to make a small dent in their wallets before making a much larger dent in their life savings: hire BluePrint Proposals to plan your proposal for you.

Founded by Midwest natives Kym Pitlor and Erin Mavian, this "boutique event consultancy" will help you create an unforgettable New York experience for your partner, culminating in you asking her to marry you.

"I'm one of those girls who has 27 dresses in her closet as a bridesmaid," Ms. Pitlor told The Observer over the phone. "Erin and I were just the go-to girls for all our friends' engagement parties. We just saw the huge industry that wedding planning has become, and how often the men are left out of it. We thought it was time to give credit where credit is due, and let the man really shine."

And what better way to make a man stand out than for him to turn over the last vestige of free will he has in the prenuptial preparations to the lady experts? On BluePrint's website, men can fill out a quiz about themselves and their (hopefully) future spouse, including "What are five places in NYC that remind you of your partner?" "How would your partner choose to spend their birthday?" and "Have you given thought to a budget or how much you would like to spend on the proposal?" Then the BluePrint duo tabulate your responses and set you up with a consultation for a proposal planning, which could result in a flash mob, a helicopter ride over the city, a scavenger hunt or just a simple ring and candlelight dinner affair.

It doesn't have to gouge your pockets, either. For merely $250, Ms. Pitlor said, BluePrint will look at your results and offer you two creative ideas on how to propose, as well as the steps for how to do so. (Open box, get down on knee, etc.) If you want them to actually help out, however, the prices start at around $1,000. But for that money, the agency will take all the worrying off your hands and plan the whole damn thing for you.

"Everything from start to finish: travel arrangements, all the logistics, and, you know, there's tons of add-ons that we're happy to do as well. If you want a personal shopper the day before, or you need someone to help you buy the ring, we have those contacts as well."

For an example of a recent success story, Ms. Pitlor pointed to a gentleman who had wanted to have a sunset dinner at a hotel to pop the question. "We arranged the private photographer, the penthouse at the hotel, and then a dinner where six of her best friends were waiting. So it was a little engagement party afterward."

Which actually sounds quite lovely ... but what if she had said no? Blueprint's site claims it can "design a proposal guaranteed to make her say Yes." Was that actually possible?

"There's always that fear in the back of our head," Ms. Pitlor laughed. "As much as we say that we can guarantee a 'Yes' on our website, we don't actually have ... we're not actually mind readers."

Though they might be able to recommend you someone who is.

So some folks are going guerrilla. On their weddings.

Sadly, as DNAinfo reports (in what is hopefully the first of many hyperlocal trend pieces to emerge from that hyperlocal newsroom), it does not involve anything too scrappy, like a wedding flash mob in the middle of an Occupy Wall Street movement in the middle of a mass NYPD arrest in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge.

But it does involve being sneaky, and living on the edge of your tuxedo tails. Yes, you can ask: What is this slightly exotic sounding way of getting married that only people in New York would do consistently enough to merit some kind of trend piece about it?

Holding small ceremonies in public or private property without reservation fees or permission. The rogue-style weddings are most popular during the summer months, when weather is more cooperative, and can take place at public spots from Central Park, the High Line and Brooklyn Bridge to private property on Top of the Rock or in front of the Ferris wheel at Coney Island.

Again, not nearly as impressive as on the Ferris wheel, or on a pile of garbage at Fresh Kills, or while swimming to Three Mile Island, but still, the thought of any responsible adult running around trying to get married somewhere they shouldn't is amusing. If anything, it makes Girls already look outdated and regressive, but such is the pace of absurdist realities as trends in New York City: Relentless.

The next progression here, of course, is 'Guerrilla Divorces,' which could involve anything from being on the run from a process server for three months or simply leaving a celebrity husband who belongs to the Church of Scientology. Whatever's hotter next season.

'Guerrilla Weddings' on the Rise as Couples Tie the Knot on the Cheap [DNAinfo]

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

The Times selects just 30 couples every week from a pool of 200 submitted nuptials, according to the article, but legislative directors, committee counsels and “those at the top of the Capitol career ladder” sneak in roughly twice a month.

Even Republicans jockey for a spot in the left-leaning Times.

Will Kinzel, a policy adviser for Speaker John Boehner told Roll Call he chose it over his hometown paper because it’s “an iconic kind of thing.”

Indeed,  the only thing that matters more than political affiliation on Capitol Hill is status, also the organizing principle of the weddings pages.

Unlike other marital columns, the Times pages is not dedicated to meet-cutes and tear-jerky romances. It's like “Mad Libs” for the career-oriented, author Kristin Broughton writes.

“The basic premise is that we’re looking for people who have achievements,” weddings editor Robert Woletz wrote in 2009.

And where D.C. resumes are a little dull, proximity to elected officials can add the necessary glamor.

“A lot of times we’ll tell clients that name-dropping will help get their announcements chosen,” a D.C.-area wedding consultant told Ms. Broughton.

And unlike the Washington Post--and Congress!--you can’t buy your way in.

The longtime gay haven Fire Island, though, is offering its own way of celebrating with a series of options, hosted by the Fire Island Pines, for the couple who summers. Here are the most obvious examples, from the Fire Island Pines's wedding packages on offer (with an extensive forthcoming marketing campaign), that gay weddings really will be different: amenities in various packages include day-of-ceremony facials and mani-pedis, a private ferry to the Pines with a crew made up of drag queens, or, in the "Classic Pines Package" a ceremony held on the deck usually occupied by High Tea (the nighttime party at the Pines), with underwear-clad bartenders serving from the bar. We're hardly worried that the dignity of marriage, or whatever, is fading away (Larry King and Elizabeth Taylor have both done a number on that one)--but it is rather exciting to see nascent traditions shake themselves out!

"This September, we're doing a seven-figure renovation of the Hotel Ciel, that'll be completed by next summer," said Andrew Kirtzman, one of three investors in the Fire Island Pines, "and that's when we expect the wedding business to explode."

ddaddario@observer.com :: @DPD_

The first picture of Ms. Moss as bride.

Earlier today, Rolls-Royce after Rolls-Royce crawled into an ancient church in Little Farrington, deep in the English countryside, for a wedding ceremony dubbed, alternately, "Mosstock" or "Glastonbury Meets The Ritz." The guests had come to see Kate Moss marry Jamie Hince, the guitarist for The Kills, thus ending her two husband-less decades in the spotlight.

News from the secluded edge of England is still only trickling out. The Daily Mail has pictures of guests such as Jade Jagger and Mr. Hince's Kills band mate Allison Mosshart, the chosen "best man" for the ceremony. Besides that, even the feistiest of British tabs could only land aerial shots of the parish and surrounding environs. Pretty place to tie the knot, though!

The Observer knows a New York nightlife personality who's a close friend of the couple, and he confirmed that the two have indeed been pronounced husband and wife. We've been texting him while he's over across the pond.

"Just ended," he said, which also confirms that, yes, there's cell service in the far-out town.

"Great, man," we responded. "Send over my congrats."

Adrian Morton sure hopes so. He's set up shop in the quaint Bucklebury, England, the wealthy and otherwise boring English town that will be known forever for its role in bringing up baby Kate, the future Queen of England. Whatever could Adrian Morton be doing? Well, he's making dreams come true, people -- he's inviting Waity Katie fans the world over dive headfirst into her adolescence with a bus tour that will hit up all the essential stops on the "Kate Was Here" parade.

And, as the April 29th wedding approaches, people will come, and they will come from America.

"There seems to be more interest in the States than in our own country," said Morton, who has long-standing ties to Bucklebury. "I've been contacted by an American tour operator about possible tours. You can see the places where she went to school and where she was christened. And locals are interested too."

The bus tour idea came from Morton's twin brother, who lives in the United States and has seen an explosion of public fascination with the royal wedding.

Public fascination with this wedding? From the United States? No idea what you're talking about, guy! No obsession here or anything!

All the evidence indicates that this will be a highly lucrative business model. Kate's mysterious seduction techniques invite stalker-grade investigations into her being -- "why her over me?" type stuff -- and the flurry of phone calls to local businesses confirm this fact.

Simon Kelly, owner of the popular Bladebone pub and restaurant near the Middleton family's home, said most locals are amused rather than upset by the attention.

"It's good because it will bring more trade in, but bad in the sense that people here like a quiet life, that's why they're here," he said.

The pub's phone rang as he spoke — a TV news reporter asking if Middleton would be at the pub that weekend.

Calling a random pub to see if the bartender knows where Kate is? Seems perfectly rational to us.

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

Click for Scandal Report: And Then The Model At Diddy's Party Burst Into Flames

Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles tells The New York Times Style section that most people were probably dissatisfied with the coverage because Ms. Clinton is "relatively normal."

“People can’t quite believe it," Ms. Coles told The Times. "They long to see a picture of her lying upside down with her dress hanging over her head.”

Hillary Clinton is in Pakistan today, taking steps to begin a bold new chapter in our relationship with the nuclear-armed ally as part of an effort to increase security for our troops in Afghanistan. Also, Chelsea may wear Oscar de la Renta!

"My lips are sealed," [Sec. Clinton] said, adding, "I am under very strict orders not to talk about it," since it is a private matter.

Questions about the wedding came at the end of the interview, but were given major play in many stories because of their obvious journalistic sexiness.

Also revealed: President Clinton is expected to cry at the ceremony, and the groom's Jewishness will not be a problem.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

“We just said, ‘Let’s hang the cost because it’s only going to happen once right,'” said the British native.

His American-born fiancée’s parents have thrown in $30,000 from their 401(k) to help foot the bill for the 125-person reception. The newlyweds will cap off the celebration with a two-week honeymoon in Bali, which Luke just bought new scuba gear for.

Based on reports from about a dozen of the city's bridal retailers, the economic slump has done little to dilute the appetite for lavish weddings. Like Manhattan's luxury real estate market, the wedding industry here not only appears to be impervious to a recession, but also has been buoyed by Europeans taking advantage of the almighty euro.

The co-owner of the couture bridal emporium Kleinfeld’s—where TLC's reality show about the woes of wedding dress saleswomen "Say Yes to the Dress" was filmed—Mara Urshel said profits are up 15 to 20 percent in 2008.

“I have been hearing that bridal is flat in the rest of the country; that people are making fewer appointments, and fewer brides are getting married,” she said. “But for us, it’s not the same. We have brides coming from all over the world. With the value of the dollar, Europeans see us as a bargain now.”

Granted, Kleinfield's is an “exclusively” high-end store. Dresses run an average of $4,000 to $5,000, and you won’t find anything for less than $2,000.

Ms. Urshel is cautious but optimistic about the future.

“I think that we’re quite insulated,” she said. “When things get difficult, people get more oriented towards family and family occasions.”

This is certainly true for wealthy people shopping for weddings at the high end of the spectrum. From florists to custom-stationers, no link in the ever-lengthening bridal supply chain has registered a dip.

“I haven’t noticed in any way that we’ve been impacted [by the recession],” said event caterer David Ziff. “The last thing people want to cut back on is the wedding of their child. We still have the same rules given to us by parents of the bride. They never say they don’t care about cost, but they get a base price and they keep adding.

“I keep waiting for that shoe to drop in the catering business, but it hasn’t happened.”

Most of caterer Marcey Brownstein's clients signed on at least six months ago, well before the economy was in the dumps. But even new clients “are not cutting back.” Coquilles Saint Jacques, Foie Gras Morels, mini-beef Wellingtons and Lobster Thermidores are a few hors d’ouvres she served up at a recent lavish city reception.

“A wedding is the one place that people can splurge," Ms. Brownstein said. "If they can afford to spend $200,000 on a wedding, they are not going to spend $50,000.”

Some caterers, however, have had to tighten their belts to cover a spike in overhead. All operating costs from rent to food have gone up about 20 percent in the past six months since gas prices started to rise, said Ms. Brownstein. The company is already among the most expensive caterers in the wedding business, so she has been reluctant to pass on the cost to her customers. She won't be able to absorb the cost forever, though.

Nicky Reinhard, the co-owner of David Reinhard Events, agreed that none of her customers are skimping, but she has noted some forgoing a few extravagances in “consideration of what’s going on.”

“Our clients are never over-the-top; they prefer a tasteful elegance, and that has been consistent,” Ms. Reinhard said. “Some people may think the caviar is a little much this year, but they still want to give their daughter a great wedding.”

In another nod to the shaky economy, fewer couples are opting for destination weddings. One bride Ms. Reinhard is working with who had always dreamed of marrying in Spain chose to host the reception in New York instead.

“It’s a lot to ask guests to fly to Europe and pay for hotels, especially with the euro as strong as it is," Ms. Reinhard said, "so we’re seeing more weddings in the States and even the Caribbean.”

Ms. Reinhard has noticed clients taking a little longer to sign on with a planner and commit to a venue; but, once they do, no expense is spared.

Aside from the Plaza since it reopened, David Reinhard does not organize many hotel weddings and throws one a year in a loft space at most. The Four Seasons is popular, and Ms. Reinhard said she is working on two upcoming receptions at the New York Public Library.

“Our clients want something different,” she said. “The Natural History Museum is a great venue. There’s nothing better than having your first dance as husband and wife under the whale,” Mrs. Reinhard said of the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling of the Natural History Museum’s Milstein Hall of Ocean Life. The space accommodates 1,000 people for a seated dinner, and 800 for a dinner dance, according to the Web site. It says “price upon request,” though the event-planning department referred us to the marketing department when we asked for a quote.

The Public Library is “getting more and more popular,” said the woman who answered the phone at event-planning there, but refused more questions. The 70-foot-long, marble Astor Hall and the domed Bartos Forum each rent for $30,000 for a five-hour evening slot that begins once the library is closed to the public. Many couples opt for a $50,000 package of cocktails in Astor Hall, followed by dinner in Bartos Forum.

Lisa Hoffman, the owner of custom-stationer Ceci New York, said couples on a tight budget are forgoing the “bells and whistles” on their invites, as is the case every year regardless of the economy.

“It is making some people be more cautious," she said, "but at the same time it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event so there’s a strong impulse to get what they want because they’ll never have a chance again."

Invitations start at $22 and run upward of $500 per set; most couples spend an average of between $300 to $500 a set.

More Europeans are coming to the city from Europe to buy high-end designs, Ms. Hoffman said, while plenty of New Yorkers are still hosting extravagant weddings, with invites to match.

A New York-based couple recently commissioned Ceci to design the invitations for their wedding in the Capucine ruins of Guatemala recently. They are one her many recent clients who “did not hold back." The first of three mailings was a 13x10-inch, custom-silk-screened, Plexiglas invitation with two original drawings by Ms. Hoffman inspired by the island where the wedding took place. Arriving in a black crocodile case with custom stamps, the invite doubled in size when opened. A second mailing followed with a guide of activities for guests to do in Guatemala.

Another symbol of the undiluted demand for wedding excess is the popular grooms' cake. Half a decade ago grooms cakes were not a de rigueur ingredient of a New York City wedding, but now they account for about one-third of Cake Studio’s total sales, said owner Jill Adams. Wedding cakes are the only product she hasn’t seen customers cut back on lately.

“In general a lot of regular clients who never think to ask about price and used to always do really elaborate things are asking how much things cost now,” she said. “They are spending less on things like birthday cakes, but people are always going to spend a lot on their weddings. I mean we specialize in grooms’ cakes, which are totally unnecessary for a wedding, and I still haven’t noticed any impact from the recession.”

Couture bridal boutiques like Angelo Lambrou, favored by what manager Laura Calamita characterized as an “eclectic bunch” of more budget-conscious brides-to-be, are seeing signs of frugality.

“We don’t have any Bridezillas or hall-on-Long Island brides here,” she said.
“I had one bride who had a wedding planner who would have wiped her butt for her, but she cost $20,000. Most of [the customers] like small weddings or destination weddings.”

Angelo Lambrou is popular with students or professionals, most of whom earn between $40,000 to $75,000, she said, and a lot of them are engaged to “ethnic men.”

Since most of the weddings on the spring/summer wedding roster have been planned for at least a year, Ms. Calamita only recently began noticing a few signs of belt-tightening. One woman chopped the reception tab in half by gathering 10 friends for a trip to Hawaii, but she still bought a custom-made dress. Most are sticking to dresses in the $2,000 range, and compared to last year, fewer women are willing to splurge on a $3,000 to $3,500 dress these days.

Maria Martin sipped a glass of white wine at the Angelo Lambrou boutique on Seventh Street and First Avenue Wednesday evening after a dress fitting. The American-born law student fits the profile. Her fiancé is Chinese. She has a subtle nose ring.

They are getting married in July in Hershey, Pa., in an informal ceremony followed by a barbeque for 150 people (at $30 per head).

The $2,700 she spent on the dress is more than a tenth of the total wedding budget—an unheard of price tag for a Manhattan celebration.

Ms. Martin and her fiancé started planning in August and have not changed anything to reflect the recession.

“Our concern is that it will impact our guests because of gas prices or plane flights, but so far we have not had any cancellations,” she said.