Goldman Sachs is lobbying the government to exempt investment vehicles known as credit funds from the Volcker rule, The Journal reports. If lobbying fails, the firm may be preparing for a game of a "Whac-A-Mole" as it devises strategies to dodge regulators.

An oil discovery in the Celtic Sea may offer salvation for the Irish economy!

Gold mining offers hope for Greece!

A list of nearly 2,000 Greek's with Swiss bank accounts has gone missing as the nation's political system devolves into "tragedy with elements of low comedy."

Leon Black, the chief executive of Apollo Global Management and the presumed buyer of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" for $120 million in May, acquired the high-end art book publisher Phaidon as a personal investment, according to The Times.

Third Point, the hedge fund founded by Dan Loeb, financed Penske Media's acquisition of Variety. Marc Lasry's Avenue Capital and Ron Burkle were said to be underbidders.

Wells Fargo managed to sell bad mortgages without sending embarrassing obscenity-filled emails about it.

Some finance professors sent out an anonymous survey to chief financial officers of publicly traded companies. About 20 percent said they engaged in legal but aggressive accounting techniques to hit earnings targets.

Right on time, The Wall Street Journal has an "analysis" that shows Libor doesn't actually reflect banks' borrowing costs.

Kareem Serageldin, the former head of Credit Suisse's CDO business arrested in London on Wednesday, said he will fight extradition to the U.S. When Mr. Serageldin was charges in February for running a scheme to falsify trading positions, he expressed surprise over the indictment, noting through lawyers that he was cooperating with attorneys. When he was nabbed outside the U.S. embassy in London this week, he said through a lawyer that he was working on a plea deal, and that his capture was the result of "miscommunication."Investors pulled capital from Spain for the 13th straight month.

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is wading into the void left when the Securities and Exchange Commission decided not to propose new rules for money market funds.

The White House is circulating a draft executive order on cyber-security after a string of DDoS attacks on the consumer banking websites of Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo and other financial firms.

Former Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan is flying her East Hampton coop.

A forgery suit against Allen & Co. CEO Herb Allen—who was being sued on claims that he had conspired to forge a dying cousin's will—has been dismissed.

True story? A British oil trader got blotto, bought $520 million in oil futures in the middle of the night, had no recollection of any of it. The Financial Services Authority suspended him for five years, commented dryly: “Mr Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk.”

Would you give money to a hedge fund called POOF? Would you be surprised to learn that said fund's manager just coughed up $6.8 million to settle cherry-picking charges—that he stuck clients with losing trades and moved profit-making trades to his wife's account?

“This is a great day for the art world and all those who seek order and justice in our society": Bond king Jeffrey Gundlach's Mondrian has been recovered.

In 1963, a 19-year-old college student put a cardboard cut-out of a dime in a laundry machine, was spotted by a local sheriff, convicted on fraud charges, sentenced to 15 days in jail. Nearly 50 years later, the ex-con, now a low-level bank employee, gets flagged by a background check mandated by a new federal regulations, loses his job.Except you wouldn't have to make it up. An Iowa man named Richard Eggers had been working in a Wells Fargo mortgage call center for seven years when an Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. a federally-mandated backgrounder turned up his half-century old cardboard-dime conviction. Mr. Eggers may have the most sympathetic case, but he's hardly the only small fry bank employee to be laid off for an old conviction.

According to the Des Moines Register, banks have been firing low-level employees such as Mr. Eggers since federal bank-employment guidelines went into effect in May 2011, with an uptick when mortgage-employment rules took effect in February:

The tougher standards are meant to weed out executives and mid-level bank employees guilty of transactional crimes, like identity fraud or mortgage fraud, but they are being applied across-the-board thanks to $1-million-a day fines for noncompliance.

The bank fired Mr. Eggers, Mr. Eggers got a lawyer, and now, according to The Register, he's filed state and federal civil rights complaints against Wells, the company that conducted the background check and the FDIC—clearing the way for a class action lawsuit.

Update: Andrew Gray , deputy to the chairman of the FDIC, emailed The Observer to point us to a letter he wrote The Register clarifying the federal law that led to Mr. Eggers dismissal. An excerpt:

There is a combination of other factors that have had the effect of subjecting more individuals to the requirements of Section 19, resulting in a temporary increase in waiver applications to the FDIC. These include the increasing number of mergers between banks and non-banks, such as mortgage companies or securities firms, which subjects more individuals to Section 19 coverage, and the passage of the U.S. Secure and Fair Enforcement for Mortgage Licensing Act of 2008, commonly known as the SAFE Act.

This law requires all residential mortgage loan originators to register with the Nationwide Mortgage Licensing System and Registry. As part of the registration, mortgage originators are required to submit to the FBI fingerprints on their employees. In some cases, these fingerprint examinations have uncovered old criminal offenses covered by Section 19, necessitating after-the-fact applications to the FDIC.

The entire letter.

Dick Kavacevich, Wells' retired CEO, often told me that he recognized that for many people going to the bank was the only financial transaction that they were ever involved in. For the elderly, it was also a social call. Therefore, Mr. Kovacevich felt strongly that customers should be greeted when they entered the branch and that the visit should be a positive experience. I can honestly state that no one ever greeted me when I entered my local branch.

That type of experience posed a conundrum. On one hand, Mr. Bove considers Wells Fargo one of America's best-run banks. On the other, his personal-banking interactions with the institution have been "unacceptable." What's more, Wachovia, where Mr. Bove once did his banking, "excelled" at customer service. Of course, that bank failed. "What my Wells Fargo experience suggests is that a successful bank is one that keeps seeking new customers and selling them more products and not getting bogged down by offering service," wrote Mr. Bove.

Some other beefs:

Treated like a small fry. "I entered the branch with a low six figure check. ...It is interesting to note that no one at the branch suggested any investment to me but simply deposited the check. No one ever called me to indicate that there was over six figures sitting in a no interest checking account. The lack of contact on this issue is directly contrary to the bank’s statements to analysts that these amounts are flagged and cross-selling options are suggested."

Loan application runaround. "After four months of providing information, and a new round of questions, I decided I had, had enough and I withdrew my application for refinance. A week later Wells sent me a note saying that it was denying my refinance application. This of course has an impact on my credit rating."

Unexplained fees. "There is now a Commercial Personal Finance Access fee that is charged monthly on my personal account. I have no idea what this is and simply pay it rather than get involved with Wells bureaucracy. Additionally there is a fee that gets charged every month and then withdrawn. There is no explanation for what is happening here either but as the saying goes 'let sleeping dogs lie.'"

It doesn't take much squinting to hear those words coming from the mouth of a consumer advocate, so for the heck of it we called Ed Mierzwinski, the consumer program director at U.S. PIRG, who didn't know who Mr. Bove was/hasn't been watching much Bloomberg TV. "The big banks have a commodity product and they sell through advertising and ubiquity," Mr. Mierzwinski said. "I think the façade around the banks is starting to crumble and I think that this analyst is picking up on it."

Mr. Mierzwinski added that smaller banks and credit unions might offer a friendlier experience, though that advice arrived too late to do our protagonist any good.

"I must admit that I have been closing accounts that I have had with Wells Fargo and moving the funds to JPMorgan Chase (JPM/$34.47/Under Valued)," he wrote. "This bank is attempting to penetrate the Tampa, Florida market and is actually providing a service that is equal to the service once offered in this market by Wachovia."

Bank of America is expected to increase the rate at which it sheds jobs, and Morgan Stanley chief executive James Gorman indicated that the firm will add by subtracting about 4,000 bodies over the course of 2012.

Goldman Sachs, meanwhile, may seek an additional $500 million in cost savings in 2012 by hiring on the cheap—expect "a more junior and less senior weighted headcount,” chief financial officer David Viniar told investors this week.

Even Wells Fargo, which said profit rose 17 percent in the second quarter, is preparing for leaner times. Costs "are still too high…given the operating environment," CEO John Stumpf said on his earnings call.

In case you're keeping score, here are the latest to cross the wire:

Citigroup: Plans to cut 350 jobs in its securities division, which includes investment banking and trading, according to Bloomberg.

Credit Suisse: To do away with 138 Manhattan-based positions by October, per a Department of Labor filing.

Deutsche Bank: Thinking about eliminating 1,000 jobs in its investment bank, also according to Bloomberg.

By collecting on a woman with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, which is going to be all over every local North Carolina news broadcast by the end of tonight, and every national news outlet tomorrow. After all, when has any story about a bank that's started off like this...

To say that Kirk Davis loves his wife Cindi just doesn’t quite cut it. Married for 19 years, Kirk and Cindi are in it together, for better for worse.

...ever—ever—ended well for the bank? And oh, does this WCNC report get better (and worse):

But cancer is just one of their fights. Kirk and Cindi Davis are also fighting to keep their home. In and out of foreclosure since 2008, Wells Fargo is telling Kirk and Cindi they have to pay $873 a month to stay. "They want us to make a house payment of almost $900 a month. We can afford maybe half that. I pay $1,100 a month in prescription medications," Cindi said.

Before we get to Wells Fargo's response, here's the last sentence of the report:

"If it does hit the brain, there's nothing we can do," cried Cindi's husband, Kirk.

"And by 'nothing we can do' he means 'nothing we can do (to pay your loans off, because we're dead)'" some middle manager at some point explained to some well-to-do collections agent below him, who, let's face it, got better job perks at The Gap only thee months ago.

Naturally, Wells Fargo response to this is standard "we can't disclose individuals' etc" boilerplate flackspeak:

"We understand that many of our customers may face challenges beyond their mortgage payment, so we often work with local housing counselors and other non profits that can help determine if any other assistance may be available. It’s important for customers to continue to work with their servicers and advise them of any changes in their situation. In assisting customers we must follow investor guidelines. These guidelines determine the kind and amount of assistance a borrower may receive. We work hard to help our customers maintain homeownership and view foreclosure as a last resort."

Which, again, instills confidence in their collecting ability. Humanity? Meh.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

The Royal Bank of Scotland has its eye on a $70 million mortgage on a fully-leased office complex in the Pelham Bay section of the Bronx.

1250 Waters Place.

Tower One at the sprawling 42-acre suburban campus hit the fully leased mark in January, Simone Development Cos., the owner and manager, said at the time. A second building there, Tower Two, is set to break ground this summer, according to the Commercial Mortgage Alert.

Joseph Simone, president of Simone Development Cos., said in a prepared statement that the new tower would mean “more than 1 million square feet of class A office space in one of the finest office locations in the entire New York Metropolitan area.”

RBS would, if it gets the assignment, likely securitize the $70 million mortgage via a $1.2 billion offering next month that will also include loans contributed by Wells Fargo, according to the CMA report. The loan would be fixed rate, with an as-yet-decided term.

Current tenants in Tower One, at 1250 Waters Place, include the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, the offices of New York State Senator Jeffrey Klein, Comprehensive Care Management and Montefiore Orthopaedic Surgery--as well as the headquarters for the Simone Development Cos.

Cgaines@observer.com

We've learned that the San Francisco-based firm has signed a 16-year lease for 275,000 square feet at Hiro's imposing 42-story silver tower between Lexington and Third avenues. Its new home in the fashionably high-end Grand Central submarket is actually a step up from the former Philip Morris headquarters at 120 Park Avenue, where it was a whisker away from a 300,000-square-foot lease. Instead, Bloomberg took 400,000 square feet there, thrusting Wells Fargo back out into a market already crowded with large tenants on the hunt. 

The bank has taken a whopping 13 floors at 150 East 42nd, including the 27th through 32nd floors and the 35th floor to the top of the building. That brings Wells Fargo, which was spread throughout several offices, much closer together. At 120 Park Avenue, the firm was expected to pay in the $50s per square foot, but taking rents at 150 East 42nd ranged from $55 to $75 a square foot. There are, however, reasons to celebrate, including impressive concessions that include tenant improvements worth $75 a square foot and 12 months' free rent. 

This brings the building to largely full, but for a roughly 150,000-square-foot block of space on the ninth and 10th floors, according to CoStar. 

Wells Fargo's broker, Eastdil's Ben Lambert, could not be reached for comment. The landlord also could not be reached. 

lkusisto@observer.com 

"A few weeks ago, [senior vice president John] Saclarides got a call from the landlord telling him that the bank was being bumped to accommodate Bloomberg, which had signed a lease for 400,000 square feet."

Said Mr. Saclarides: "I was on a train when the owner called, and I asked him to repeat it to make sure I heard him correctly. I'm extremely disappointed because we had put a lot of time and effort into that deal."

Crain's reports that this kind of no-holds-barred war for desirable spaces over 100,000 square feet is becoming more common.

WilmerHale, for example, was blindsided when the owner of 825 Eighth Avenue said it wouldn't sign an agreed-upon deal for 200,000 square feet because it was negotiating with Nomura Holding America, which needs nearly four times as much space. Likewise, law firm Chadbourne & Parke lost the chance to renew its lease at 30 Rock when Deloitte signed its 436,000-square-foot deal there in December.

Said Crain's: "A combination of the improving economy and lease expirations are pushing more big tenants into the market at a time when their options are limited by the city's aging building stock and lack of new construction. In the constant power struggle between tenants and landlords, the latter are gaining back the upper hand in the market for spaces of more than 100,000 square feet."

The Commercial Observer spoke with two sources on Feb. 18, who confirmed that there has, in fact, been an uptick in showings of the market's larger available spaces. Meanwhile, Wells Fargo says they plan on negotiating with multiple landlords so they don't get "flatfooted again."

Landlords bumping tenants out of major deals, while tenants entertain multiple possible spaces until the last minute? It should be an interesting year.

lkusisto@observer.com

Wells Fargo is consolidating its Manhattan offices into at least 300,000 square feet at 120 Park Avenue.

The Midwestern bank's Manhattan office space is currently spread across Tower 49, Grand Central Tower, 1211 Sixth Avenue and 40 West 57th Street. The new deal will allow the tenant to give up most of that space, according to Real Estate Weekly, which first had news of the deal.

It could include expansion rights to 400,000 square feet.

The tower is the former headquarters of cigarette maker Phillip Morris, whose parent company, Altria, sold it to Global Holdings in 2007 for $525 million, The 640,000-square-foot building has sat largely vacant since.

Sources say that Wells will likely pay rents in the $50s per square foot.

Eastdil Secured, led by chief executive Ben Lambert, represented the tenant. Wells Fargo owns Eastdil. Paul Glickman of Jones Lang LaSalle represented the landlord.