Here’s the thing that people don’t understand about red carpet events: They imagine this glamorous lifestyle where Will Smith or the members of N’Sync will come and chit-chat with you about what they’re wearing or how excited they are to be there, and you’ll all laugh like you’re old friends while someone films the entire thing. (So that is why you should get super dressed up, ladies!)
The reality, most of the time, is a lot more like manual labor camps. You and hundreds of other people are assigned a place based on numerical order and how important the staff deems you to be. For example, print media is just before online websites, but after the radio and everyone else. (Sorry, really disillusioned lady from Elle.com!) You are sent to mingle in a holding pen, crammed in with hundreds of other hungry, crazy-eyed journos and magazine freelancers, some of whom will take up inordinate amounts of space with their equipment and some of whom will be openly agitated and/or weeping. When someone sneezes inside these close quarters, you think, this is how epidemics are started.”
You are not allowed to leave your little cattle pen, until someone with a clipboard and eight burly bodyguards starts barking out numbers, of which you are one, because that is all you are to them—a number. You scramble to get up and enter the arena, where you are escorted past the salivating fans straight out of The Hunger Games and marched all the way to some previously unknown area of the perimeter, right next to the dumpsters. There is a gate separating you from the red carpet. You cannot cross that gate; that is verboten. But if you’re lucky, like at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) there will be a little place card on the floor with your publication on it, making it harder for poachers to snatch your spot.
Then you wait for two hours while deafening screams reach your little annex in Siberia. What is going on? No one can say. The fans have a better view than you do.
to the rescue
It’s been a rough few days for Will Smith. His brainchild After Earth—in which he headlines with his son Jaden—tanked in its opening weekend, its mere $27 million making it the all-time lowest summer opening for a Will Smith movie. But fear not! Scientology is here to help.
Throughout midtown, a group of Scientologist parodists Read More
The fireworks have died down (hope you enjoyed the show, Jersey … better luck next year, Brooklyn and Queens) and all that’s left of this year’s patriotic festivities are the tiny flags littering the West Side Highway, the distended abdomens of the contestants in Nathan’s annual hot dog-eating contest and the sobering knowledge that, according to Read More
In 1999, Jay-Z nicked the chorus of a song from the all-but-ignored musical Annie and turned it into his then-biggest hit, “Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem).” Now, to steal lyrics from that song, Jay’s “gone from lukewarm to hot, sleeping on futons and cots to king sized, dream machines, the green fives.” He’s got a Read More
Red Carpet Real Estate
The Post has some bad news for Brooklyn developer Mendy Gorodetsky. He was hoping to
the entire top floor of the BKSK-designed building, just across the street from Ian Schrager and Herzog & DeMuron’s 40 Bond Street. There are six-and-a-half bathrooms, four fireplaces, brass elevators and ample wall space for the art lover. Read More
They're Just Like Us
Who even knew they were making a Men In Black 3? Brooklyn developer Mendy Gorodetsky, that’s who. He has offered Will Smith free reign of the 2,300-square-foot penthouse at his brand-new development at 75 Grannd Avenue in Cobble Hill for the duration of the film’s production here in the city. Gatecrasher Read More
With word yesterday that HBO optioned the yet-to-be-finished 2008 election account, Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime, by Time’s Mark Halperin and New York’s John Heilemann, it’s clear the network is looking to corner the market on waxwork political docudramas. Just last Read More
Vampires don’t really live forever—it just feels like they do. Lately, you can’t turn on the TV, go to a bookstore, see a movie, or go to (if you’re really prepared to argue that these books aren’t just for kids, you might want to take a cold, hard look at yourself in the mirror at Read More
Twelve measly days separate us from 2009. Between now and December 31st, a whopping sixteen movies will hit theaters, all of varying pedigree and expectation. Couple those releases with the ever-expanding theater counts for some of the more critically acclaimed films from the last few weeks (Doubt, Gran Torino, Frost/Nixon, etc.), and you’ve got a Read More
Last night the Daily Transom ventured out to the premiere of The Day The Earth Stood Still–a remake of the 1951 science fiction classic about an alien who comes to earth to warn the human race about invading super robots–starring Keanu Reeves (as the alien Klaatu), Jennifer Connelly, and Kathy Bates.
"You have to Read More