Are you guys ready to read tweets from Rep. Steve “The most conservative Congressman in Texas! 100% lifetime NRA, GOA, NAGR, Right to Life rating. Offended? Yell at @DonnyFerguson” Stockman?
Are you??! Because fair warning, he’s got himself a new bumper sticker idea, and it definitely includes some nonsensical sloganeering about abortion, babies and guns.
So…you ready for it?
Celebrity Castration Plots
During a recent gig at Madison Square Garden, Justin Bieber was not, we repeat, was NOT, strangled to death with a paisley tie and then castrated in a plan hatched by a convicted child rapist and murderer serving time in a New Mexico prison. Once again: this did not happen.
But it almost did.
YOU GOT MEME'D
Jonah Peretti’s Hollywood Kabbalah Center of Internet Memes—better known to the general public as Buzzfeed—has been the target of a few sardonic, condescending takes on their business, by critics, casual observers, and media pundits alike, some of them well-reasoned, others being generally piss-poor (see above).
FINANCIAL CRIMINAL OF THE DAY
A tech analyst named John Kinnucan was arrested today, accused of insider trading on tech companies that resulted in $110 Million in illegal, insider trader-y gains. Maybe as important as his crime is the example he sets for future generations of those whose lifelong dream it is to get your door busted down by the F.B.I., arrested for insider trading, and consequently extradited to New York for trial.
Mr. Knnucan’s experiences set a handy, simple, two-step example for those seeking to tread the same path he’s taken:
Recently, Los Angeles-based comedian Todd Glass decided to appear on the podcast hosted by fellow comic Marc Maron—and hilarity did not ensue.
When Mr. Glass first appeared on Mr. Maron’s show, WTF, in 2009, the program, in which Mr. Maron, the alt-comedy fixture and former Air America host known for his sometimes lacerating, self-exposing rants, Read More
MEDS OF MANHATTAN
I’ve been thinking…we need to talk. This has actually been brewing for awhile, but it came to a head the other day. An editor and I were having a little post-mortem outside of the office about the piece I’d published the night before. You know the one. Remember? A few weeks back, you kept me company during a particularly nasty stretch, when I only got four hours of sleep over, what was it, three days? Almost three days. I know, I know: Far from the first time you’ve saved my ass, especially as far as deadlines go. But this time, it was different.
GOD. DAMN. LAWYERS.
How do you get a law firm to return the $5.5M they put in an escrow account for you that one of their lawyers then embezzled and ran off to Hong Kong with?
GOD. DAMN. LAWYERS.
Looks like the legal profession just doesn’t pay like it used to.
A million pistachio nuts is cool. You know what’s really cool? A billion pistachio nuts.
The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee just released their new attack ad against Bob Turner, the Republican candidate for the NY-9 seat vacated by Anthony Weiner. There’s something slightly…off…about the timing of the ad. [UPDATED.]