I Wish Halston Was Hitting 70 And Liza Hadn’t

Happy birthday, Halston! The great modernist fashion-designing legend, had he not succumbed to the plague in 1990, would have celebrated his 70th birthday on April 23. Can you imagine the ghoulish and szhooshy hoopla that would have ensued? Let’s face it, Halston was not what you’d call un homme du peuple : When he hobnobbed-which he did every night in the 1970’s-Liz Taylor and Babe Paley were his walkers! His 70th birthday party, probably hosted by Denise Rich, would have included major Park Avenue royalty-self-appointed and otherwise-Betty Ford graduates à go-go, plus a whole bunch of random Hollywood waxworks (i.e., Liza’s wedding redux).

Speaking of Liza, here’s a beauty tip from Halston’s old pal: Apparently Liza now gets a daily professional maquillage and coiffure. Nothing unusual about that. Before this service is performed, she-being the trouper she is-will still see visitors and meet with tradespeople. However, she will not face them; she stands with her back to the guest (not the Gest-he’s seen it all! Or so he maintains) and speaks to them with the aid of a Mr. Microphone. This system saves the legendary voice-and image-and ensures that visitors can hear her instructions.

Craving a bit of Halston-abilia? On May 9 at City Center, the Martha Graham Dance Company will perform a program that includes “Conversation of Lovers,” a duet from Graham’s Acts of Light , with the original costumes by Ultrasuede-and-jersey-lovin’ Halston himself: cheeky Quiana loincloths (the men) and drapey gowns (the women) designed back in 1981. Call 581-1212 for tickets.

Re Liza: Here’s another good bit of dish. Apparently, before her wedding, Liza recklessly chucked out all her old Halston-designed furniture. Who knew there was such a thing? Anyway, it seems that deco-lovin’ David wasn’t digging Liza’s ultrahip, Ultrasuede chairs and Lucite tables and arranged to have them all dumped on the sidewalk. A pal tipped off Liza as to the value of her discards. Hysterical, the couple of the moment flew downstairs, only to find that some enterprising picker-who more than likely now has a store on Lafayette Street-had snagged the lot.

How come this missing cache of 1970’s relics is not on America’s Most Wanted ? If John Walsh won’t do anything about this situation, then I will. Information about the whereabouts of this furniture should be e-mailed to me at simonsays@observer.com.

Let’s find Liza’s furniture and get some closure for this right-thinkin’ family.

I Wish Halston Was Hitting 70 And Liza Hadn’t