Eight Day Week

May 15 – May 22, 2002

Wednesday 15th

Parry and thrust! Ladies, remember how right after Sept. 11, it seemed as if men were due for a big comeback -how all that lifting and welding and rescuing just made us want to roll over, give up and get pregnant ? That belief evaporates with a

resounding poof! tonight as Maxim –

the spank book for fellows under 30 and under 5-foot-11 -throws a party for fashion and celebrity photographer Nigel Parry, who’s done a new collection of his portraits called In Your Face . We found Mr. Parry, a Brit, in a cab wending its way to his Tribeca quarters from Kennedy Airport-he’d just been to London to visit his daughter for her birthday (she’s 11 and doesn’t know what Maxim is), and he said, with that self-deprecation endemic to a Brit, “It’s really a very, very nice thing which Maxim seems to be throwing for me; I’m very surprised.” (Note use of word “seems”- ed. ) “We’re enlarging the pictures to five feet by seven feet, so they’re going to be rather spectacular ; you’ll be able to see each individual pore and whatnot on some of the more, shall we say, craggy faces. There’s Anthony LaPaglia, Richard Harris, Michael Caine, Bill Clinton. ” Any babes ? “Yes, there’s going to be what’s-her-face-crikey, I’m terrible with names- Laura Elena Harring ” (the saner, brunette one in Mulholland Drive ); also, ” Somebody Presley … and Monica Lewinsky .” The cast of That 70’s Show is expected. Proceeds from sales of the portraits go toward a good cause, Operation Smile , which helps sick kids. Meanwhile, GQ magazine -the spank book for men over 30 and under 5-foot-11 -throws a party uptown for writer-at-large Elizabeth Gilbert , who’s written a book called The Last American Man , about some loony fellow named Eustace Conway who dresses in animal skins and lives in a teepee in the woods. Where’s Daniel Day Lewis these days, anyway?

[ Maxim party, Lot 61, 550 West 21st Street, 8 p.m., by invitation only, 682-7700; GQ party, Elaine’s, 1703 Second Avenue, 6 p.m., by invitation only, 286-6823.]

A rare public-service announcement! Sultry Nicole Krauss , author of a new novel called Man Walks into a Room , is not to be confused with spunky Nicola Kraus , co-author of the No. 1 best-seller The Nanny Diaries . “It’s not that annoying yet-maybe it will become annoying,” said Ms. Krauss, a 27-year-old Stanford grad and former Marshall Scholar who’s getting a party from her family that’s being co-hosted by her publisher, the Nan A. Talese imprint at Doubleday, tonight. If you decide to crash, remember: The Nanny Diaries is about life as an au pair on the Upper East Side , while Man Walks into a Room is about an English professor whose memory of his adult life is wiped out by a brain-tumor operation, sending him wandering into the Nevada desert. “I’ve always been a really nostalgic person,” said Ms. Krauss, “and often thought that this isn’t the best way in which to go about living one’s life-it stops you from feeling like you’re in the moment. So I wondered what would happen if you really didn’t have any memory.” You get elected President.

[Bloom, 16 West 21st Street, 6:30 p.m., by invitation only, 782-9390.]

Thursday 16th

Ya gotta have parks! But also, ya gotta have art -hey, do we have to choose? Over at the wild, wild Whitney, where the kooky video artists run free, they’re having an “art party”-$165 gets you the chance to drink and snarf hors d’oeuvres with committee members Glenda Bailey , Harper’s Bazaar editor in chief (who will let her glorious hair run free-we hope ), luscious Observer alumna Candace Bushnell and enigmatic cosmetics heiress Aerin Lauder

Zinterhofer …. Meanwhile, the two-steppin’ Ms. Zinterhofer is also on the committee for a Spring Dinner thrown by New Yorkers for Parks, the people responsible for all the lovely daffodils that have been popping up lately, and whose number apparently

include the freshly affianced Sho-shanna (Boom-Boom) Lonstein and Marshall Fields heiress and new mummy Marina Rust. That’ll be $525, please ….

[Art Party, Whitney Museum of American Art, 945 Madison Avenue, 9 p.m., 570-3688; New Yorkers for Parks Spring Dinner, Milk Studios, 450 West 15th Street, 8 p.m.,

838-9410, ext. 228.]

Friday 17th

Bachelorette battle scars? That Off Broadway interactive tourist fave, Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding , has been running for 15 years now, and co-creator Mark Nassar (used to play Tony, now plays Tony’s dad !) thought it was about time for a prequel, so now we have Birdy’s Bachelorette Party -no food but a cash bar. “When you show up at the play, you get a little pink gift bag with sex trinkets, condoms, French ticklers and little Groucho Marx glasses-except the nose is a penis , and when the lights will go out you’ll see 150 to 200 penises glow in the dark,” said Mr. Nassar. “There’s going to be pink shag on the bar, neon lights, hanging drapes; it’ll just look like a feminine place. I always had this idea to do an interactive bachelor party, but I just thought that would be too weird. I just thought, you know, with men going to sex clubs it’s serious business, and with women it’s silly and fun!” Well, ahem , the silly fun comes to an abrupt halt when electronic photos of one’s bachelorette party begin to circulate among senior male members of the media elite.

[Culture Club, 179 Varick Street, 8 p.m., 505-5305.]

Saturday 18th

Early prickings of summer Shakespeare: A 100 percent Liev Schreiber–free production of The Tempest begins in the West Village! Or buy a $150 ticket to a Joe’s Pub benefit and you’ll get a free ticket to Shakespeare in the Park’s production of Twelfth Night this summer. Of course, Shakespeare in the Park is

always free, but this way you’ll avoid the lines, though you will have to sit, quietly squirming, through a performance by the Kronos Quartet and an after-party with “serious music” aficionados with Dep in their hair.

[ The Tempest , 154 Christopher Street, 8 p.m., 206-1515; Joe’s Pub benefit, 425 Lafayette Street, 9:30 p.m., 239-6200.]

Sunday 19th

This one’s for famous and much-loved makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin, who went to the great Estée Lauder counter in the sky, aged only 40, on May 7: the Brain Tumor Foundation is throwing a brunch up at Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, that big mess of designer commerce on the way to the Catskills that includes a secret Prada discount store (code name: Space).

[Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, 8:30 a.m., 265-2401.]

Monday 20th

Celebrity-chef death match! So flesh won out over flash a couple weeks back at the snoozy James Beard Awards in the Marriott Marquis, when Babbo’s sexy, grizzly Mario Batali pried the Best N.Y.C. Chef prize from Union Pacific’s micro-dermabraded Rocco DiSpirito …. Tonight at Time Out New York ‘s coyly named “Eat Out” Awards , the two go head-to-head once again, along with Bouley’s David Bouley , Ilo’s Rick Laakkonen , Tabla’s Floyd Cardoz , Craft’s Tom Colicchio , Daniel’s Daniel Boulud, the Essex House’s Alain Ducasse, Jean-Georges Vongerichten and one brave woman, Annisa’s Anita Lo . Reason to go: Unlike the Beard awards, where one is forced to sit on a folding chair in a stultifying auditorium with 1,200 others suffering through hours of awards with names like Best Cable Segment before you get so much as a crumb , TONY wisely serves cocktails before its ceremony. Burp .

[Tribeca Rooftop, 2 Desbrosses Street, 6:30 p.m., by invitation only, 358-2352.]

Tuesday 21st

Home on the Granger? The attack of the men’s mags continues …. Not to be outdone by “naughty” Maxim and “sophisticated” GQ , here’s “literary” Esquire and its editor in chief, David Granger, with a party at some swank banker’s 10,000-square-foot Soho loft for

Esquire’s Big Book of Fiction , an

anthology of old favorites like Updike and Mailer and Cheever and Carver …. “It’s big ,” said Esquire’s literary

editor and Fiona Apple look-alike, Adrienne Miller (above). “It’s a total doorstop of a book, for sure. I had a really sort of difficult summer last summer; it was intense and wonderful-I read pretty much all of these stories.” Does she write fiction herself? “Mmm, yes I do-too bad for me, but I do. I try to work on this thing I’ve been working on a few years every day. ” Offer her some encouragement tonight (hope she remembers to invite the two unpaid interns -ah, recession!-who did all the photocopying) ….

[Somewhere in Soho, 6:30 p.m., by invitation only, 649-4020.]

Wednesday 22nd

If you’re like us and felt that the Tribeca Film Festival was taking place in some kind of alternate universe, there’s a “Golden Age of Cinema” Film Festival going on right now: tonight, a screening of Tom DiCillo’s Living in Oblivion , with celebrity guests Tom DiCillo and, um, Steve Buscemi. Is there are a party? “Unfortunately not-the budget doesn’t allow,” said festival founder and N.Y.U. adjunct film prof Zhenya Kiperman , “but we play this business-card drawing game.” Ooh, fun ! Meanwhile, if you’re not like us and happen to have $500 just lyin’ around, there’s some major diva power emanating from the Metropolitan Pavilion , where huffy Art Garfunkel , happy Liza Minnelli and heroic Patti LaBelle are scheduled to sing American standards at a Caron Foundation gala tonight. Our big-cheese editor has already picked out the bon mot he plans to drop in Liza’s lap at intermission.

[Film Festival, Cantor Film Center, 36 East Eighth Street, 6:30 p.m., 917-750-3651; Caron Foundation gala, Metropolitan Pavilion, 125 West 18th Street, 6:30 p.m., 843-1716.] Eight Day Week