More Notions From Larry King Jr.

I haven’t been merry in years.

Do I want to overhear the conversation you’re having in public? No.

How did cows survive in the wild all those years?

I’m not interested in finding out why the Martin Lawrence movie is called Runteldat .

I’m too embarrassed to take a bath.

Those of you wearing CBGB’s T-shirts purchased at Urban Outfitters are not fooling anybody. Not that you can win with the whole T-shirt thing anyway.

Actually, Tape was good.

The subway has been biting under Bloomberg.

Swearing a lot is old hat.

Why doesn’t Jerry Seinfeld buy the Mets?

I’m boycotting Steven Soderbergh.

I thank God for the overweight punk girls who slept with me in college.

Hey-they forgot to catch those anthrax guys.

I was happy just to be waking up when I was 4 years old.

I like staring at maps.

I’m getting too thin-skinned to suffer through the ordeal of Starbucks.

Has anyone ever watched an episode of Becker all the way through?

I am pro-M. Night Shyamalan.

Tom Golisano. Your punch line here.

Charlie Rose wasn’t taking any chances with those replacement hosts, was he?

Women are beautiful. Men are ugly.

It’s sad when you’re too tired to get drunk.

War and Peace is slightly better than Anna Karenina .

I’m tired of that certain type of Manhattan man who talks in a “hedging” manner.

Flowers are pretty.

Dad? I love you, but enough with the kidnappings.

Why hasn’t there been a new dance step in the last 10 years?

I love Ha Jin.

I feel exhausted after reading movie reviews by Elvis Mitchell or A.O. Scott.

Note to Jimmy Fallon: Sorry, I’m just not buying it.

How about a Navy base somewhere very close to Manhattan? Maybe Brooklyn or Jersey City.

I’m an old indie guy and I know I’m out of date. But it’s not like I can come up with a new shtick .

Everybody knows that TV is sapping our energy.

When a cockroach hisses or flies, I start running.

Shut up, Eminem.

Note to 3:30 p.m.: You’re an unpopular time of day.

My fax didn’t go through. What a surprise.

Can’t grocers make berry prices more stable?

I haven’t been able to make it past the first few minutes of an episode of either The Sopranos or The West Wing .

Shakespeare could do it all.

Let’s not commemorate Sept. 11.

I’m going to get up at 7 tomorrow and get things done. This time I really mean it.

I feel unpleasant sensations whenever I think of Bloomberg.

If you don’t love water, you and I have a problem.

-Larry King Jr.

Bitten, Not Shy

The talk on, an underground New York City food Web site, is serious stuff. “Chowhounds,” as regular users call themselves, take great pride in their collective culinary IQ. Don’t try messing around with them, like I recently did.

B NICE: Need suggestions on where to go this evening. Anywhere below 23rd Street to Soho. Price range about average or slightly above …. Hurry!!!

ME: The Tonic at 108 West 18th …. Great room and great food. Or Periyali at 35 West 20th Street. Who knew the Greeks could cook seafood so well?

LE BOUQUIN: I like your suggestions (been to them). But HEY! “Who knew the Greeks could cook seafood so well?” Um, do you know where Greece is? Do you know it is made up of hundreds of islands and that they specialize in fish, especially for Easter, not only the lamb that is so popular? Octopus, calamari, porgi (a.k.a. tsipoura) … Olive oil, lemon & oregano and you’re set for Greek fish! … Go to Molivos, Periyali, Milos, Avra, etc. … Oh yeah, and Trata Yassou!

TOM: Is it still true that the sainted Arepa Lady proffers her legendary wares only on Friday and Saturday nights? Not an easy time for me to wend my way there …. Is there anywhere in Manhattan … where good arepas are sold?

ME: Have you thought about making your own? The mysterious Arepa Lady’s recipe is posted online. For truly authentic Brazilian arepas, check out this link ….

JIM LEFF: “Truly authentic Brazilian arepas.” Woops … an oxymoron, seeing as how they’re only Colombian/Venezuelan!

ERIK: Could anyone suggest the best place to get burgers in Manhattan (besides Corner Bistro)? Thanks.

ME: My ex-girlfriend swore by Angelo Maxies.

YOURPALWILL: AAACK! The burgers at that place are horrible …. It’s like having a salt lick for lunch. Which I guess is OK … if you’re a deer. You did the right thing in getting rid of her. She’s beyond culinary hope.

LINDA: When fusion cuisine peaked, a few restaurants were throwing together pretty outrageous combinations. I was reminded of this when I remembered the wonderful carpaccio at Vicala. They flavor it in lemongrass and a peppery citrus sauce, before topping it with a green papaya salad, sprinkled with Vietnamese nuoc mam. But then I remembered Paladar. At one point, they served mahi-mahi in caper, olive, and tomato sauce, which sounds a lot like puttanesca! (Anyone try it?) More to my interest, where is the high-water mark in fusion cuisine, and where has it gone too far adrift?

ME: I’ve heard yummy things about Vicala. But for a while it was almost as if restaurants competed with one another to see which could whip up the most incongruous ingredients and get away with it. I can’t remember specific examples, except this one spaghetti dish with fried bacon and uncooked eggs. The funny thing is that it was on the menu at an otherwise unassuming trattoria. I wouldn’t order it, though.

CAITLIN: “Spaghetti dish with fried bacon and uncooked eggs.” That’s not fusion, that’s spaghetti carbonara, just the sort of thing one expects to find at an unassuming trattoria.

RADFORD: Based on the numerous recs about [Grand Sichuan Int’l], I ordered takeout twice now and have been very disappointed. I just want to know what I’m missing here. With the exception of the braised beef and spicy Chinese broccoli, everything else was bordering on tasteless. To date, I have tried the kung pao chix, peapod stems, mabo tofu, beef chow fun, and jellyfish appetizer in addition to the aforementioned items. I’m thinking maybe they Americanize their delivery dishes or something because dozens of Chowhounds can’t be wrong, right?! Or maybe I’m just spoiled because my dental school was right in the heart of Boston’s Chinatown?!

ME: I’ve only ordered from there a few times but have found everything to be scrumptious and full of spicy flavor, including the mabo tofu and jellyfish appetizer to which you refer. Maybe Taiwanese food just isn’t for you.

HLING: “Maybe Taiwanese food just isn’t for you.” By the way, Grand Sichuan Int’l is not Taiwanese. It’s Sichuan. There’s Sichuan food to be had in Taiwan, but that doesn’t make Sichuan food Taiwanese.

ME: I’m looking for a recipe for low-calorie confit. Any suggestions?

STRIPERGUY: Are you kidding? By definition, Confit of Duck is duck slow-cooked in its own fat. While you’re at it I will scare up some low-fat recipes for Hollandaise Sauce, Foie Gras, and Beef Wellington.

-Jon Trichter More Notions From Larry King Jr.