In honor of Siobhan Adcock’s forthcoming self-help manual, 30 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do Before Turning 30 (Broadway Books, $12.95), The New York World presents 10 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do Before Turning 10 .
All advice comes from interviews with actual New York kids:
“You should know how to yell at your parents. You should try not to yell at them, but if you do, you should tell them what you want, in a deep voice or a loud voice, and say it over and over and over and over again. If you do it too much, they’ll get mad. Loud usually gets them more mad than deep.”
-Sonia, 10 years old, P.S. 234, Manhattan
“You should know how to do multiplication and division. Like in the hundreds or thousands. And you should know how to stay up late without being tired the next day. What’s late? I don’t know. Maybe 12. I usually go to bed at 9:30. But I’ve stayed up till after 12 lots of times.”
-Nell, 9 years old, Windward School, White Plains
“You should know what the laws are. Like, you shouldn’t go into movies by yourself if they’re PG-13.”
-Amanda, 8 years old, Columbia Grammar, Manhattan
“You should be able to spell ‘New York.’ I can’t spell it yet. I can’t spell ‘Manhattan,’ either. And you should know your address and phone number. I don’t know those, either.”
-Anisa, 8 years old, Stephen Gaynor School, Manhattan
“You should know how to like broccoli. And pizza. And if you don’t like things like that, you should just keep on trying to eat them. You should try really hard.”
-Ethan, 6 years old, Stephen Gaynor School, Manhattan
“By the time you’re 10, it’s good if you know how to be nice, because at school when you’re 10, there are a lot of fights-like about being cool. Before I turned 10, my mom taught me how to deal with people.”
-Ava, 10 years old, Huntington Intermediate School, Huntington
“You should know curse words-but I’m not allowed to say which ones. Also, you should know where to shop, like at Abercrombie.”
-Pete, 11 years old, Hommocks Middle School, Mamaroneck
“Play video games. Game Cube and Play Station 2-you should know how to play both of those by the time you’re 10.”
-Matt, 10 years old, P.S. 9, Manhattan
“You should be able to cross the street for yourself. A big street. Also, you should know who the President is. I always used to ask my mom who the President was when I was little. Of course I know who the President is now! When I was 10, Bush was being elected.”
-Eve, 12 years old, Friends Seminary, Manhattan
“You should be able to go pee-pee.”
-Ava, 4 years old, Children’s Aid Society, Manhattan
-Anna Jane Grossman
The Lizzie McGuire Movie , opening May 2, is the big-screen version of the madly popular Disney Channel television series about a perky, enthusiastic ‘tweenager, who is played by the perky, enthusiastic 15-year-old actress, Hilary Duff. Lately, Ms. Duff’s image has been all around town, in subway and bus-stop Lizzie McGuire Movie posters, which depict her in an exuberant, tippy-toe pose, and she’s causing something of a stir, because people who don’t know the first thing about Lizzie McGuire now can’t stop talking about her perky, enthusiastic … boobs.
“When I first saw that poster on a phone kiosk, I stopped dead in the middle of Sixth Avenue and almost got hit by a cab,” said Allen Tsai, 30, a Web designer. “I can see the police report: ‘Cause of death: Lizzie McGuire’s chest.'”
“I thought they looked like tennis balls,” said Melissa Walker, 25, who works in magazines. “She’s sticking them out, sucking in her chest, almost like that ‘C-curve’ thing you do in Pilates when they ask you to ‘roll like a ball,'”
“They’re three inches below her chin,” said Cara O’Flynn, 29, a marketing research analyst.
The last teenager to kick up such a boobtroversy, of course, was Britney Spears, who endured rumors for years that she’d had plastic implants inserted. Ms. O’Flynn called Ms. Duff’s shelving “suspiciously high,” considering that the small-screen Lizzie’s Lizzies are decidedly smaller.
Then again, at that age, things change fast. Our Hollywood spies-and we do have them-reported that Ms. Duff is a maturing gal, and drove Lizzie McGuire wardrobe people crazy by growing into a new clothing size every six weeks.
And Ms. Duff surely could have improved her rack without surgery. “You could also do incredible things with bra accessories, whether pushing things together and up, or padding, or making the shirt tighter,” said Howard Sobel, a Manhattan cosmetic and dermatologic surgeon who took an obliging look at the poster.
Of course, those breasts might not be Lizzie’s at all. Boosting boobs-like lengthening legs and airbrushing cheeks-has been a longtime practice in movie-postering. Who could forget the ample-bosomed Julia Roberts in the Pretty Woman poster (evidently that was Julia only from the neck up), or Jennifer Love Hewitt’s set in the I Know What You Did Last Summer poster (so giganto the film’s title was recoined by fans as “I Know What Your Boobs Did Last Summer”), to the suddenly chesty Gwyneth Paltrow in the poster for Shallow Hal ?
Disney had no comment. Neither did Ms. Duff’s representative.
But Meema Spadola, author of Breasts: Our Most Public Private Parts and co-producer and director of the Cinemax documentary Breasts , thought that Lizzie’s front fender may have been enhanced with the adult moviegoing audience in mind.
“Her breasts shout out, ‘I’m a swinging, sexy twentysomething!'” said Ms. Spadola. “I’m not sure if they’re trying to grab older viewers or give a heightened version of Lizzie to which teen girls can aspire.”
Playwright Elisa DeCarlo, 42, had her hunch. “My guess is that they are going for that all-important Humbert Humbert demographic,” she said. “The audience will be 90 percent preteens and their parents, 10 percent shifty-looking older men in raincoats.”
Knicks Playoff Update
The playoffs are always a special time for The New York Knicks, but something feels different about this postseason.
“We’re just having fun,” Latrell Sprewell said yesterday at the team’s Purchase, N.Y., practice facility. “A few years ago there was all this pressure-first it was all about Patrick, then it was whether we could make it without Patrick. Now it’s a bunch of new guys really coming together, making their names.”
Sprewell was speaking the morning after the suddenly resurgent Knicks beat New Jersey 95-88 in the Garden to take a surprising 3-1 lead in the first round, best-of-seven playoff series. The impatience and finger-pointing of just a month ago-when the Knicks found themselves struggling to play .500, never mind make the postseason-seemed a million years ago.
“We always knew we could be here,” Sprewell said confidently. “Other people may have lost confidence in us, but we didn’t.”
Fittingly, the heroes of this playoff run have turned out to be the same crew who hauled the Knicks from the brink of lotterydom. In Game 5, it was guard Shandon Anderson-considered an overpaid nowhere man for much of the 2002-3 season-who sealed the victory with a gutsy, back-breaking late three-pointer. Once-forgotten point guard Howard Eisley dished out assists (14 of them) with the G.P.S. accuracy his boosters always predicted. Then there was Antonio McDyess, badly injured for most of the season, who leapt over the hapless Nets in game 2 like he’d never even scraped his knee, racking up a Ewingesque 28 points, 15 rebounds and three blocks. Seeing McDyess play without pain, it’s time to stop carping that he’s the next Marcus Camby.
And it’s time to give a little credit to much-maligned Knicks general manager Scott Layden. Layden was all but run out of town for fattening up on expensive contracts and gambling on an injured star like McDyess. The skepticism was unsurprising: Garden fans always demand wins today, not tomorrow. But in holding off his detractors-and refusing to deal his franchise players when the team was underachieving and contenders came calling-the young executive looks pretty clever after all.
Of course, the newbies couldn’t do any of this without the help of Sprewell, who’s been playing like a 25-year-old again, or Allan Houston, who has at last begun to justify his $100 million contract with gutsy performances at a Kobe-Iverson-McGrady altitude.
But the real fun of this spring at M.S.G. has been watching the team that Layden and M.S.G. president Charles Dolan built finally come into its own.
“We’re very satisfied,” Layden said this week. “Garden fans expect excitement, and we feel like we’ve put together a roster that’s giving it to them-and one that will for a long, long time.”
He was being polite. Win or lose in this series, the Knicks’ run is nothing less than a vindication. And proof that sometimes in sports, patience can actually be a virtue.