Eight Day Week

Wednesday 10th

How do we know summer is over? Simple : The scar tissue on our feet from all those lesion-inducing strappy sandals. Today, cobbler Manolo Blahnik -whose shoes would cost us a month’s rent on our shoebox of anapartment-puts his brood on display at Phillips, de Pury and Luxembourg. “They’re gag-worthy! I was drooling yesterday and beside myself!” said a publicist for Style.com, “Heather,” who-like Bono, Pink and God-possesses no last name. Also on display are sketches from Mr. B.’s private archive and stills from films like Cat on a Hot Tin Roof that have inspired his designs. The exhibition is presented by Style.com, the online home to W and Vogue , so expect a horde of Condé Nast fashion editors ( clomp, clomp, clomp … ). Meanwhile, in protest of the soft-core gastro-porn of Nigella Lawson (the Monica Bellucci of cooking), Dewar’s and frisky chef Mario Batali (Babbo, Lupa, Po) have whipped up a cooking class, “Dewar’s Man with a Pan,” for the bachelor set. Who’ll be burning water tonight: Bill Hemmer (CNN anchor), Isaac Mizrahi (designer), Jay McInerney (wine writer), Jeff Tahler (Miramax V.P.). Meanwhile, in another sign that summer’s over , all three people who gagged their way to the end of “journalist” Ed Klein’s puerile book on John and Caroyln Bessette Kennedy sell their copies to the Strand …. And in a sign that fall is here, Ellen DeGeneres , who made a career not out of the fact that she’s funny -she ain’t -but out of the fact that she’s-yep!- gay and had a romance with a space alien, has yet another TV show. This time it’s a talk show and the suckers are NBC. How long before she books Hillary?

[ Manolo Blahnik … The Shoe: A Celebration of Design , Phillips, de Pury and Luxembourg, 450 West 15th Street, third floor, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., 212-940-1200; Dewar’s Man with a Pan, 578 Broadway, 7 p.m., www.dewars.com; The Ellen Degeneres Show , 10 a.m., NBC.]

Thursday 11th

New Yorkers pause to remember the day no one needs to be told to remember. Various appropriate events-retired firefighter Mike Lennon screens the documentary Brothers … On Holy Ground ; the New York Public Library displays 9/11 photographs; the New York Aquarium and Maimonides Medical Center conduct a blood drive-are on offer, though most folks will likely opt for huddling under the covers.

[Donnell Library Center, auditorium, 20 West 53rd Street, 6 p.m., 212-621-0618; New York Aquarium, Education Hall, West Eighth Street and Surf Avenue, Coney Island, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., 718-265-FISH.]

Friday 12th

You might think that the fashionistas would have waited more than 24 hours after the second anniversary of Sept. 11 to kick off their weeklong carnival of self-congratulation, but let’s be real, these are not civilized people …. And so Fashion Week is unleashed upon an innocent public. After the tents empty out, everyone heads to the launch of Salvatore Ferragamo’s new store, where your hosts include wise-crackin’ (and, really, not that funny) Whoopi Goldberg , golden-haired Bridget Hall , ambisexual Alan Cumming , actress Jennifer Esposito (riding the “sexy Latina” wave; see Eva Mendes, Idina Menzel , Cartman on South Park … ), underrated actor Kyle MacLachlan (rent Blue Velvet and let ‘er rip!) and the incandescent Liv Tyler. Worthy cause : Child Priority and Free Arts , which benefit disadvantaged and abused children. Or watch former VH1 V.J. Bobby Rivers, below, make his stage debut in I Look Thinner on TV! We found Mr. Rivers (who’s watched Wheel of Fortune with Lucille Ball ) in his Chelsea studio with the TV blaring. “I watch Oprah and take the show seriously. Remember the episode about stepping outside the box? Oh, giiiiirrrrl , can we talk?! That’s what got me into it! Oh, Oprah’s on – I think it’s the one where the guy who used to weigh 500 pounds is surprised with the car. It makes me cry! Remember? He always wanted to fit into a Porsche and so he gets surprised with a Porsche?” Tonight, Mr. Rivers talks about being African-American and gay in New York show business. “If you’re a gay male in New York and over 42, you might as well be wearing a button that says ‘Ask me about the Aztecs.’ There’s just not a lot of datin’ going on there! Very few guys my age want to date guys my age-they want Justin Timberlake! One time I placed personal ads on five different Web sites and, after four months, I got one response from someone who said, ‘I’m 72-year-old leather daddy living in Brooklyn,’ and I thought, ‘ Perfect !’ I’d put that my ‘preferred age range’ was 35-50, and ended up with some old coot who probably dresses like a piece of carry-on luggage.”

[Salvatore Ferragamo, 655 Fifth Avenue,

8 p.m., 212-756-6515, by invitation only;

I Look Thinner on TV! , the Ground Floor Theater, 312 West 11th Street, 8 p.m.,


Saturday 13th

You knew it was coming …. Yes, it’s time for the inevitable crafts festival, that dreaded preamble to every fall season. Ceramic, pewter, black smythes and crocheted tea cozies abound outside Lincoln Center. Inside, City Opera opens Lucia di Lammermoor with un problema piccolo : The title character is singing for two! Director James Robinson -sounding like one of those baby-hungry husbands insisting a child “won’t change a thing!”-has said that the leading lady being six months pregnant won’t make any difference. Speaking of divas and high emotion, model Naomi Campbell has established her own P.R. company, called NC.CONNECT, which tonight will be handling the after-party of Brazilian bikini designer Rosa Cha’s fashion show. The bash is at “PM,” a soon-to-open lounge in the meatpacking district which is designed to suggest “a forsaken gentlemen’s club in the tropics,” according to the club’s press materials, which has a vaguely colonialist/racist ring to it, don’t ya think, as “gentlemen’s clubs” in the tropics didn’t tend to be frequented by the indigenous population ….

[ Lucia di Lammermoor , New York State Theater, Lincoln Center, 63rd Street and Columbus Avenue, 1:30 p.m., 212-870-5570; Autumn Crafts Festival, Lincoln Center Plaza, 64th Street and Columbus Avenue, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., 973-746-0091; PM, 50 Gansevoort Street.]

Sunday 14th

Street-fair orange alert! Nolita hipsters are aghast as the Feast of San Gennaro takes over Mulberry Street, and the neighborhood is suddenly filled with the smell of sizzlin’ sausages and people in Sansabelt slacks …. Expect high-school marchingbands , fresh-off-the-PATH-trainguysin tightblack shirts without sleeves , stray Sopranos cast members (“Honey, I think that guy is Big Pussy! I’m sure of it … “) and 9/11 tchotchkes with an Italian flag haphazardly glued on. Meanwhile, pro–Iraqi war Times columnist Thomas Friedman has been turning Dubya over his knee and giving him a spanking as of late (whack, whack, whack !) Tonight, the mustachioed columnist (looks like Dr. Phil with hair) holds court at the 92nd Street Y .

[Feast of San Gennaro festival, Mulberry Street between Canal and East Houston, www.sangennaro.org; Thomas Friedman, 92nd Street Y, 1395 Lexington Ave., 7:30 p.m., 212- 415-5500]

Monday 15th

Is New York getting honest-er? An employee from Equinox gym (where one of our ex-paramours used to go to “get huge”) recently found our lost wallet, returned it personally with our money still intact and refused a reward. Who says this town is going to Hell in an Hermès handbasket? Meanwhile, Sotheby’s unlocks its doors for art director Henry Wolf’s 50 Years of Design exhibit. “He’s legendary in the art-director magazine circle!” said publicist Carla Greengrass. “He shot Brooke Shields when she was practically a baby! I think there was a story about some company not wanting to use the photo because she looked so womanly as an 8-year-old.” Any favorites? “The Harper’sBazaar coversare amazing! I love this one where a woman in this greatswing coat is climbing up a ladder and putting up the first’A’in ‘Bazaar’ …. Just fabulous!” The photography and paintings will be on display all week, but tonight is your only chance to clink glasses with Mr. Wolf’s pals, including Robert Benton (co-wrote Bonnie and Clyde , directed Kramer vs. Kramer) , Harper’s Bazaar editrix Glenda (the Good Witch) Bailey , and Esquire editor David Granger, who’s got to be a wee bit worried now that GQ and Details are getting lots of ink.

[Sotheby’s, 72nd Street and York Ave., 7 to 9 p.m., 212-957-4107, by invitation only.]

Tuesday 16th

Best news we’ve had in a long time is that it’s International Gay Square Dance Month! If you promenade downtown to P.S. 3, there’s a gay square dance near you. “Tonight is our open house, so beginners are welcome,” said George Voorhis, a member of Times Squares Square Dance Club since 1991. “We have theme dances, too. There’s a Halloween dance and a Valentine’s Day dance. We have a prom! There are clubs all over the world: Australia! Denmark! Canada! It’s huu-ge in Japan!” Of course it is. So how do you determine who leads? “We try to perform what is called ‘all-position dancing,’ where we try to get away from the boy-girl thing. A lot of our dancers are bi-dance-ual and can switch off …. Did you know that there was a bill before Congress to make square dancing the national dance of the U.S.? I don’t know what happened with that.” Probably got lost in all the silly war stuff …. Meanwhile, the French clothing line Façonnable takes a cue from the aforementioned Isaac Mizrahi (see Wednesday) and opens a flagship boutique ( sacre bleu! ) at Rockefeller Center. There’s a party tonight, with proceeds going to the Lenox Hill Neighborhood House. Who you’ll run into: top restaurateur Daniel Boulud , fashion heirs James and Gina de Givenchy , hotelier/playboy Vikram Chatwal , socialite Cristina Greeven Cuomo, and Brit-couple-about-town Euan Rellie and Lucy Sykes. Try to talk them into going to the gay square dance …. Meanwhile, we think naming your rock band Evanescence is kind of like titling your movie Straight to DVD , but tonight the goth rockers materialize at Webster Hall. We recall their being at MTV’s Video Music Awards last month but were too busy digesting Britney and Madonna’s “spontaneous” kiss (please!) and Beyoncé Knowles writhing on a chaise while being groped by men in black catsuits. Was anyone else feeling bad for her dad right about then?

[Intro Square Dance Open House, 490 Hudson Street, 7:30 p.m., www.timessquares.org; Evanescence, Webster Hall, 125 East 11th Street, 7 p.m., 212-353-1600; Façonnable, 636 Fifth Ave., 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., 212-367-9475.]

Wednesday 17th

This just in! Sublime actress Julianne Moore and her new hubby, director Bart Freundlich, evidently spent their wedding night at the Soho House , which might possibly be the worst thing we’ve ever heard. We hope Miz Moore is stopping by Fashion Week, because that “dress” she wore to the Oscars -well, let’s not discuss it …. Today at 7th on Sixth, scooped-out bagels reach critical mass when the scooped-out fashion media joins Glamour magazine for breakfast, blowouts, manicures and pedicures before a long day of sitting on their asses and make-believe scribbling on clipboards. If you’re still around at suppertime, follow the psychedelic fabric to the tent of Lilly Pulitzer …. “The tent’s designed to look like Lilly’s home, which is actually dubbed ‘The Jungle’ because it’s overgrown with lots of plants and flowers and it’s really, really tropical!” said the publicist. “She’s always barefoot and ready for guests.” Guests will gorge on “Lillyto” cocktails, peanut butter wrapped in bacon (umm, is that some kind of weird WASP thing? ) and mini-burgers. Invitees include plummy actress Rosario Dawson , Buffy bopper Sarah Michelle Gellar and movie director ( Mask) and Sopranos regular Peter Bogdanovich.

[Morning Tea and Touch-ups, Bryant Park Hotel, 40 West 40th Street, Raymond Hood Suites, 23rd floor, 8 to 10 a.m., by invitation only; the Lilly Tent, Bryant Park Cafe, enter on 42nd Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues, 7 to 9 p.m., 646-825-9023, by invitation only.] Eight Day Week