Eight Day Week

Wednesday 1st

October has arrived- step all the way in, folks! We’re a week into autumn , which-much like the semicolon -is confusing and kind of pointless, so no one knows what to wear. Case in point: Sarah Jessica Parker , who tried to sneak into the Emmys disguised as the Sugar Plum Fairy …. Tonight, S.J.P. flits over to the Museum of Television and Radio, where she and the rest of the saucy SATC bimbettes will be nattering away, trying to keep up our interest in the show till it returns in January …. For those who like heavily hyped “brooding” male authors named Jonathan, Jonathan Safran Foer -who may in fact be the same person as Jonathan Franzen and Jonathan Lethem -reads at Coliseum Books. His book, Everything Is Illuminated , has been out for a while now, so we asked Mr. Foer, “Do these readings make you feel like you’re 50 Cent singing ‘In da Club’ yet again?” “Oh God, no-it’s a complete non-consideration,” he said. “I’m a highly nervous and excitable person, so I think it’s fun. So much of the point of reading and writing is sharing something, whether you’re the person reading it or writing it. You’re on one end of the exchange. The unfair thing about reading is that one person does all of the talking. I like receiving others’ thoughts, whether they come in laughter or the absence of laughter or dialogue.” Meanwhile, if it’s fall, there must be panels. Today, The Week -Dennis Publishing’s newsmag, which still doesn’t know what it wants to be when it grows up-asks the question “Is California Crazy?” Barry Goldwater Jr., Tom Hayden and Ronald Reagan Jr. partake in the Harold Evans–moderated discussion. “I think the recall is a terrible idea,” Ron Reagan Jr. told us from Orange County. “It’s undemocratic. Democracy works because it follows a certain system or structure, and the recall is short-circuiting that. There’s a Republican faction that somehow sees elections as invalid if their guy doesn’t win. This isn’t about Gray Davis. It’s about a group of people saying, ‘If we don’t get our way, we have to remedy that by hook or crook.'” Heck, to our mind, nothing says “good times” like Arnold comparing Mr. Bustamante to a Terminator android in last week’s Wall Street Journal . How does the pumped one measure up to ol’ Dutch? “Mr. Schwarzenegger is no Ronald Reagan,” said Reagan fils . “I have nothing personal against him. I don’t think he’s as good an actor as my father was, but-more to the point-my father spent a lot of time thinking about politics before he ran for governor of California, and certainly before he ran for President. But Mr. Schwarzenegger-I don’t want to say he’s got bad motives, because I’m sure he’s a nice guy and he thinks he’d do a good job, but there’s something about this that smacks of a vanity project.”

[ Sex and the City panel, Museum of Television and Radio, 25 West 52nd Street, 6:30 to 8 p.m., 212-621-6800; Jonathan Safran Foer, Coliseum Books, 11 West 42nd Street, 6 p.m., 212-803-5890; “Is California Crazy?”, Michael Jordan: The Steak House N.Y.C., Grand Central Station, North Balcony, 12:30 p.m., 917-250-4502.]

Thursday 2nd

Is it just us, or is Sting far less compelling now that he admits he lied about the whole “I can have sex for eight hours” thing? He comes out of downward-facing dog this morning to sing for NBC’s Today show at an hour so ungodly we’ll risk prosecution and just download Fields of Gold from Kazaa …. Much later, chefs Todd English and Victor LaPlaca extend their Olive’s branches to Union Square Park, where Union Square Café, Gramercy Tavern, Blue Water Grill and SushiSamba are putting their best food forward for Harvest in the Square …. The only thing funnier than Ricky Martin’s new “girlfriend” is David Sedaris , who’s doing his witty, sardonic thing out in Jersey. We tried to get him on the phone, but according to his publicist, “He’s just, like, really trying to finish up his writing right now.” So are we, honey. Back on the island, there’s the premiere of the film Dopamine , which won something at Sundance and is all about falling in love. However, we recommend Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane (part of the new, cute-but-potentially-big-time-annoying “girlish 40-year-old female ” set; see Sheryl Crow ). Or send your green-thumbed boyfriend to the opening of Little Shop of Horrors . That way, there’s all the more Hugh for you if you wish to ogle the Aussie jackelope in a special performance of The Boy from Oz to benefit the Caron Foundation’s New York Recovery Center for alcohol and drug abuse. Throw a stuffed koala bear on stage.

[Sting, Rockefeller Center, 49th Street between Fifth and Sixth avenues, 7 a.m., 212-664-4444; Harvest in the Square, Union Square Park, 7 to 10 p.m., 212-239-6200; David Sedaris, New Jersey Performing Arts Center, Prudential Hall, 1 Center Street, Newark, N.J., 7:30 p.m., 888-GO-NJPAC; Dopamine , Loews 34th Street, 312 West 34th Street, 7 p.m. 212-445-7100, Little Shop of Horrors , Virginia Theater, 245 West 52nd Street, 8 p.m., 212-239-6200; A Night at the Theater benefit, 212-949-6134.]

Friday 3rd

Changing seasons means the glistening, shimmery makeup of summer must give way to the dramatic matte finish characteristic of fall …. If you’re like us, you can’t create “the smoky eye” without giving the impression you’ve been punched in the face. So take yourself and your poor coordination to Cargo cosmetics, which has happy, goopy pots of lip gloss and lessons by Robin Siegel , makeup artist to the happy, goopy cast of Friends . Then take your new face down the block to Madison Square Garden for the Campbell’s International Figure Skating Classic. Expect skater boys in man tights (“Hello, lefty !”), the dull and perfect Michelle Kwan and the piquantly named Irina Slutskaya .

[Macy’s Herald Square, Beauty Arcade, 34th Street and Seventh Avenue, noon to 8 p.m., 212-494-3420; Madison Square Garden, 7:30 p.m., 212-307-7171.]

Saturday 4th

Condé Nast is brutal on a gal, so today Self magazine staffers throw their equivalent of a party-a Central Park “Workout,” featuring a climbing wall, massages, henna tattoos (why?) and horrible theme words like ” Jocktober .” Aferwards, go for a burger and some of those atrocious “meat fries” recently unleashed upon an already obese public ….

[Workout in the Park, Central Park, Rumsey Playfield at 72nd Street, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., 888-844-SELF.]

Sunday 5th

Our two parakeets have been giving us the cold wing ever since we switched their regular birdseed brand …. To try and turn things around, we’re taking them to the “Blessing of the Animals” service at the Church of the Resurrection. Well-behaved, properly leashed and caged pets are invited to receive a blessing on behalf of St. Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animals, and lap up some treats at the reception following. Meanwhile, are we the only ones who aren’t really feelin’ the K Street ? Thought so. Instead, go pay your respects to the man in black at the eulogical Hello, I’m Johnny Cash exhibit, featuring clips from The Johnny Cash Show and myriad documentaries. If immersing yourself in Cash culture makes you feel a bit like a romantic outlaw, swing over to the Crafts on Columbus festival to pick up some crocheted tea cozies and a guy who wears more patchouli than you did in college …. But kick him out before sunset: Yom Kippur is tonight.

[ Blessing of the Animals , the Church of Resurrection, 119 East 74th Street, 12:30 p.m., 212-879-4320; Hello, I’m Johnny Cash , Museum of Television and Radio, 25 West 52nd Street, 212-621-6800; Crafts on Columbus , Columbus Avenue from 77th to 81st Streets and 81st Street toward Central Park West, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., 212-866-2239.]

Monday 6th

Chloë and mom’s computer: Rocker Sheryl Crow ( cute, girlish, see Oct. 2 above) performs alongside Debbie Harry (contains bleach) and Chris Stein (your guess is as good as ours) at Vanity Fair ‘s benefit for Step Up Women’s Network, which raises funds for breast-cancer research. Hosting duties will be split between Harvard nerd Natalie Portman and doe-legged, sleepy-eyed Chloë Sevigny. Here’s what Ms. Sevigny said: “I’m calling you from Connecticut-Fairfield. It’s the town I grew up in. And there are so many trees around! My allergies are acting up, so I’m sorry if I’m stuffy. I’m not even sure what I have to do. The hosting duties are always so vague. There’s going to be all these people performing, and I think I have to go onstage and present someone with an award. As long as someone writes me something for me to say, then I’m fine. When they expect me to go off-the-cuff, I get really nervous …. I’m going to wear Donna Karan . I haven’t made my final selection yet. I tried to go to Vogue online to pick something from her collection, but my mother’s computer is sooo slow that I think I’ll wait until I’m back in New York …. I’m trying a little harder when getting dressed these days because people are recognizing me on the street, and I don’t want to disappoint! I mostly put pressure on myself for the events and try not to care about everyday clothes. Sometimes you just want to be schlumpy, you know? Mine is a certain kind of schlumpy. I was never into those jump suits-those Juicy Couture jumpsuits strike me as just horrible and tacky. So I have my own schlumpy style that usually involves jeans and a sweater …. I’m working on that new Woody Allen. It’s going really well, but I’ve only worked one day. My days are really spread out. I was so terrified and nervous, but he was just great. I had so much fun! He has it down to a science …. I interned at Sassy in the fashion department under Andrea Linett, who’s now an editor at Lucky . She discovered me on the street when I was in high school. I was at a newsstand on Sixth Avenue, and they were filming a promo for the Jane Pratt Show -remember that? I was wearing some strange teenage thing that caught their eye , so they asked me to be in the promo with Jane …. I don’t have a stylist, but I might get one if I ever have to go through Oscar season again. There were so many events that it was hard for me to look through all those little books. It would be convenient if there were someone I trusted, who could just gather together a rack of the best from every designer and I could just choose.”

[ Vanity Fair ‘s “In Concert”, Hammerstein Ballroom, 311 West 34th Street, 8 p.m., 212-307-7171.]

Tuesday 7th

More proof that there are a lot of highly educated New Yorkers with absolutely nothing to do : Picture this- you’re on a boat anchored in the East River , and you’re listening to a panel that includes radio host and novelist Kurt Andersen , chef Mario Batali and humorist Andy Borowitz discuss which is the better borough, Brooklyn or Manhattan. Jumped overboard yet? Kidding, fellas! “I kind of accidentally moved to Brooklyn 14 years ago, without any sense of mission or zealotry,” said Mr. Andersen from the Carroll Gardens home he shares with his wife and two teens. “I’ve never been a kind of borough missionary. I had been to Brooklyn once, maybe twice. I’d lived in Manhattan for 12 years, but in 1989 my wife and I had one kid and another on the way, and we needed a bigger place. It was just a cheaper place to live. When we could afford to move back to Manhattan and decided not to-that was the moment at which I realized I had unconsciously become a Brooklynite.” Meanwhile, dear reader, remember the time you went to N’awlins for spring break and how, later, you and your roommate had to buy the Girls Gone Wild: Mardi Gras tape just to make sure y’all weren’t on it? Tonight will be nothing like that . At the Rita Hayworth Foundation’s “The Magic of Mardi Gras” benefit, there’ll be Princess Yasmin Aga Khan, Muffie Potter Aston, Anne Hearst and Dan Aykroyd -who’s overdue for his Bill Murray “serious actor” moment-performing as Elwood Blues .

[The Magic of Mardi Gras, Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, 301 Park Avenue, 6:30 p.m., 212-843-1712; “The Better Borough: Brooklyn or Manhattan?”, Peking Boat, South Street Seaport, Pier 16, 5:30 p.m., 212-935-3960.]

Wednesday 8th

There’s always room for Bill Cosby, and for $500 to $2,000 you can be in that room with him tonight as he joins Elaine Jones (NAACP president) and Martin Lipton (founding partner of Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen and Katz) at the Brennan Center for Justice, where they’ll receive awards for their civic contributions. Alec Baldwin will host; N.Y.U. president John Sexton and actor-activist Martin Sheen are vice chairs. Here’s hoping Mr. Cosby does some of “Russell” from the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids show, or a bit from the Jello pudding commercials ….

[Brennan Center for Justice, Pier 60, Chelsea Piers between 23rd Street and the Hudson River, 6 p.m., 212-992-8646.] Eight Day Week