Chuck Almighty

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In today’s New York Post, Michael Kane writes about a religious movement even stranger than Scientology: The Cult of The Klosterman.

Like this summer’s other much covered alternative religion, The Cult of The Klosterman has a writer and self-styled expert on everything at its core: SPIN editor and Esquire columnist Chuck Klosterman, whose new book, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story was released in late June.

Kane scans a reading Klosterman gave at a Barnes & Noble and identifies his people:

These are the Klostermaniacs, the ever-growing Cult of Chuck that includes bookworms, bloggers and even uber-goober Seth Cohen on “The O.C.,” who hailed Chuck’s geek wisdom on an episode last season.

Like L. Ron Hubbard, this godhead has vocal detractors as well: In 2003, The New York Press‘ Mark Ames called Klosterman the a “metaphor for everything vile in [his] generation.”

A close reading of Kane’s Post article reveals that Klosterman is clearly a metaphor for everything nerdy in his generation. A tally of vocabulary used in the thousand-or-so word article:

Nerd or its variants (e.g. ‘nerdy’) : 7

Hipster: 8

Geek or its variants (e.g. ‘geeky’): 4

Dweeb or its variants (e.g. ‘dweebiac’) : 2

Glasses, as in “Buddy Holly glasses”: 3

iPod: 2

Goober: 1

Matt Haber

Chuck Almighty