Who’s winning the battle of the front pages?

OK, the Daily News page stinks. “JUDGE LEWDY” is a worthless attempt at a pun, and the use of italics to underscore Alanis-grade “irony” is contemptible. Meet the newspaper that doesn’t know what news is!

The Post, meanwhile, has written its greatest headline yet in the Halloween-fireman-impersonator-assault story: “Fake Bravest ‘sex monster’ eluded cops by holing up in hotel lair.” It’s got everything. Tabloidese jargon! Two action verbs! ‘Allegation’ quotes!

Unfortunately, that headline is on page 4.

Page One gets a pallid, shortened version, crammed into a box to make room for surrounding notices about Post Poker, collectible Jets pins, and–screaming across the top of the paper–something in the Pulse section? About shopping for designer clothes and footwear? The only footwear that belonged on the front of the New York Post this morning was whatever sicko trophies the ‘SEX MONSTER’ carried off to his LAIR after his 13-hour chloroform-assisted assault. For shame, New York Post. For shame.

Winner: Daily News

Overall standings: Daily News 7, New York Post 5