LAURIE: As of today…
1)Research card/invitation-making: paper prices, colors, how it’s done. When my friend the assistant district attorney heard about my engagement, she offered to have her sister, a talented young graphic designer, make my wedding invitations. She’d waive the design fee and I’d be responsible for the cost of production. I went over to my friend’s place in Brooklyn and looked at samples of her sister’s work, including her own wedding invitation, which was elaborate and beautiful in a totally un-weddingy way. I was grateful. Then I remembered my own dirty little arts and crafts habit — handmade Christmas cards, collage-style mash-ups of Harper’s and Us Weekly — and I decided to save even more money by making all of the invitations, save the date cards, et al, myself. I envision something with an old typewriter-style typeface and one of those four-sectioned photos of the two of us, from the booth at Lakeside Lounge. Is that a cliché? And if so, by whose standards?
Now I have to tell my friend, “Thanks, but no thanks.” I know she can take it, but I’m nervous nonetheless. And I wonder, do I have to try to look attractive for the photo booth picture?
2)Write questions for the chef. To paraphrase Cher Horowitz, kind-hearted pre-Mean Girl heroine of Clueless: We’ve taken a lap and committed to a location. Our wedding ceremony and reception will take place at the White Eagle Conference Center in Hamilton, NY. Every time I say the name I attempt a vocal imitation of the eagle that flies in during the opening sequence of The Colbert Report. The chef mailed my mother a couple of sample menus, which she then mailed to me. One of them was a menu for some kind of ladies’ lunch and fashion show, printed in a predictable curlique font on sheets of paper that boasted a washed-out reproduction of a tropical sunset scene. There were menu items like “three bean salad” and “tropical mashmallow delite.” Do you know what I mean?
Things like this Jell-O salad.
I’m concerned. We’re meeting him face to face in March, and I need to know whether he can poach a salmon.