Gleeful vulgarity, thy name is…Daily News? Ol’ Sobersides is the one having the fun this morning, with a slapstick headline on Dick Cheney’s shooting incident and a screaming As-Seen-on-TV!-style corner line giving the allegedly record-setting snow accumulation. The Post plays it loud but fairly straight, using the not-quite-precise “WHITEOUT!” tag for the not-quite-blizzard. And the paper loses points for identifying the weapon in Cheney’s hand as a “rifle.” Unless the veep is shooting rhinos, something that fat-barreled is most likely a shotgun.

Winner: Daily News

Overall standings: Daily News 21, New York Post 21 WOOD WAR XLII