Descending into Fuddspeak was a brilliantly deranged idea. But every other idea on the Post front page is a disaster, starting with the fact that the Murdochites let party-line spin get in the way of a good story. Since when does a tab cwiticize cwitics for piwing on? Bwasting away is what tabwoids do! It doesn’t help that the paper wastes the rest of the front page with a Cosmo-grade teaser for a story that appears to take a gag book about cuddling at face value. Oh, well. At least the Post kept its consistent approach to Officer Eric Hernandez’s death and burial.

The Daily News hits all the right notes, shifting emotional keys with unusual smoothness: a somber box for the dead cop, a screaming scandal treatment of the Cheney incident, and a little public-friendly promo at the bottom, because it’s Valentine’s Day.

(Bonus, from the News‘ special pullout “Valentine’s Love Lines” section: “COL, TO THE BEST WIFE IN THE WORLD. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. BE MY VALENTINE. L[heart-for-an-O]VE, CRAIG.”)



Winner: Daily News

Overall standings: Daily News 22, New York Post 21