No you cannot bring your newborn infant, nanny, dog or aunt…

MADELEINE: When I got engaged, everyone warned me that I would see the best and the worst in people. Some would be overjoyed for us, while others would use it as an opportunity for evil. Overall, I’ve seen lots of kindness and generosity. But there are always the few outrageously rude requests and questions. Here are my uncensored answers:

1) I’m not changing my name, so please stop asking. I’m 30, I have a career, and while I have no issue with women who choose to take their fiance’s name, please don’t criticize me for choosing to stick with Perez. I like my name, it’s part of who I am, and that’s just the way it’s going to be.

2) I don’t know if I’m having kids, but I sure as hell don’t plan to discuss it in a public forum.

3) The invitations were clearly marked with the names of guests we want at our wedding. No you cannot bring your newborn infant, nanny, dog, or your aunt who is in town for the weekend. This isn’t a refugee camp — it’s a wedding. If we wanted them there, we would have invited them.

4) I don’t know how many carats my ring is — I didn’t buy it. But even if I had a scale in my apartment and weighed it every morning, I still wouldn’t tell you. And honestly, why do you care?

5) And this one is just for the guys. . .please stop saying things like “one woman for the rest of your life” or “don’t do it, man” to Mitch. He doesn’t need your dumb frat boy advice.

No you cannot bring your newborn infant, nanny, dog or aunt…