It Will Be a Cold Day in Hell Before a Wedding Bird Stamp Darkens My Door

ERICA: “The new wedding birds are really cute…or what about an American flag? That would be patriotic!”


Uhm, yes it would be patriotic, kind yet clueless lady behind the counter in the post office, but “patriotic” is not an adjective that brides usually throw around when describing what it is they’re going for. (At this point, it’s probably safe to assume that this lady does not have any stamps in the “chic,” “hip,” or “vintage” categories and cut my losses.)

We’ve already established that I like to march to the beat of my own drum, pink wedding dress and all, so the best way to completely squash any interest I have in something is to tell me it is specifically designed for use with weddings: case in point, the wedding bird stamp. To me, this means that loads of other brides are using this stamp, coveting this stamp, and probably even delaying the sending of their invites in anticipation of this stamp.

As a result, this stamp will not be allowed within ten feet of our save-the-dates. Our save-the-dates are not allowed to look at this stamp and have been encouraged to stay away from any letters featuring this stamp that they might encounter en route to their destinations.

I’m seriously in crisis mode and it’s all because of the freakin’ postage increase. The post office has stopped producing all of their 37 cent stamps to make way for the new 39 cent stamps. Which means that they’re out of anything cool in the 37 cent genre and that the 39 cent genre offers slim pickins (because none of the new designs willl hit until they use up those “transitional” stamps). This leaves me with a choice between lame ass wedding birds or George Bush’s fave, the American flag.

In closing, a blanket apology to our wedding guests: I had every intention of using cutesy vintage cars or old Hollywood glamourpusses on your save-the-dates, but inflation has intervened. Sorry everyone.

P.S. In our long ongoing vintage postcard vs. plane ticket save-the-date debate, the vintage postcards won out! It Will Be a Cold Day in Hell Before a  Wedding Bird Stamp Darkens My Door