DONNA: One day when we were just dating, Morgan and I were watching a DeBeers commercial: “What’s your opinion of diamonds?” he asked. Noting the disdain in his voice, I offered a nonchalant “I don’t know.” This seemed to relieve Morgan, who launched into a tirade about the evils of the diamond industry.
Now of course I’d designed my own ring on adiamondisforever.com years ago. But I hadn’t seriously thought about engagement rings before Morgan. I was in my mid-twenties and I’d never even attended a wedding. (That’s right, never.) I’ve always considered myself a non-conformist girl, but as I later read, weddings have a way of bringing out the traditional side of otherwise non-traditional women.
Because of Morgan’s Dad’s loud speaking voice on the phone, I knew Morgan was going to ask me to marry him soon, and I was pretty certain that it wouldn’t be with a diamond. Would people think that my fiance was cheap or destitute?
And sure enough, one afternoon at a sidewalk cafe in New York, Morgan pulled out a black velvet box. Inside the box was a ring he’d designed himself, with the help of his father’s jeweler friend — rubies channel-set in white gold, with a larger center stone ruby. I said yes, of course.
But I was scared to tell people I was engaged. I was scared they’d ask to see the ring and then feel sorry for me, or worse, give me awkward compliments.
I’ve never been a vision of self-confidence.
I started to feel tinges of diamond envy, which intensified when I tried on a wedding band with the most sparkly channel-set princess cut diamonds I’d ever seen. Morgan, needless to say, wasn’t pleased with my interest in the diamond-encrusted wedding bands, and even a little hurt.
All of which ultimately led to our fight this morning. When he said, “You don’t like the ring,” I crumbled. I insisted that I did, but he barked, “You’re lying!” Now he’s off doing errands.
If only he’d designed the ring with me, or at least gotten input from someone on what I’d like. When he asked me what I thought of diamonds, I should have said, “Today, with the availability of man-made and conflict-free diamonds, buying a diamond doesn’t have to mean a compromise of values!”
But at the end of the day, it all comes down to this: I love Morgan, and I can love his ring and wear it proudly for what it represents, because it is the ring that he made for me and it’s beautiful and unique.
Besides, there’s always the right-hand ring option!