Fantasy Politics: The Senator from West Palm

Apparently there were some announcements, but I was outside smoking and I met a guy named Tyler up from Florida. West Palm, he said. “I’m a senator now!” he said, and asked for a cigarette. “I guess I have to quit my job.” He was wearing an Adidas track shirt. Where did he work? “Adidas.”

“I’m a freakin’ Senator!” he said. He said the Clinton people campaigned for him, had flown him up, put him up at the W, and he had to be on a flight back to Florida at 7:30 a.m. “Man I’m hammered,” he said. He said he’d won as an Independent by 18 votes. He was a just slightly-overweight, kinda buff white guy, definitely over 30, probably not 40, and maybe 5′ 11″. He had a little hipster beanie-hat on.

So, okay, he was a Senator. So then what was he going to do now? “Bend over a page, I guess,” he said.

He looked around at all the suits outside the Sheraton. “These guys don’t even know I’m one of them,” he said. “I’m not going to be like them, am I?”
–Choire Sicha Fantasy Politics: The Senator from West Palm