Sundance Last Words: ‘He’s Driving! Pray!’

Today, Vanity Fair‘s Jessica Coen exposes Transom reporter Spencer Morgan as the man who tried to kill her at Sundance by driving off a mountain. Yeah, he’ll do that. Fair enough! But to save face, The Transom’s boss must now reprint the text messages received that near-fateful eve which reveal Ms. Coen’s complicity in her near-death Utah experience.

(N.B. Yes, your trusty editor, always responsible, inquired as to actual alcohol intake and found it to be surely below .08%, Utah’s legal limit. For future reference in drinks-over-time equations, Spencer weighs about 175 pounds–Ms. Coen, oh, about half that.)

JessicaCoen: Your boy spencer just almost killed me. Twice. We crashed into a snowbank on the side of the mtn. He scares me.

TheTransom: haha. DIE WITH SPENCER! AWESOME STORY!!!!!

JessicaCoen: Just might happen bc WE HAVE TO GO BACK DOWN. I think I might drive. Is it better to kill Spencer or be killed by him???

The Transom: BETTER TO KILL! Wait: have whoevers DRINKING LESS drive.

JessicaCoen: That’s me. Obvi.

The Transom: YOU DRIVE

JessicaCoen: he’s driving. pray.

Sundance Last Words: ‘He’s Driving! Pray!’